Neighbors show signs they are swingers but deny it

[J & K 16]

We have made friends with some neighbors down the street. We have played a few drinking TRUTH or DARE games with them and they make it all sexual. His wife loves to show her boobs and make sexual comments to us. Some of her dares have been flashing boobs, getting naked, kissing, etc.

 

So my wife confronts the MR asking if they are swingers. OMG, he freaked out and said they would never do that, but he loves to see my wife's tits, ass, and playing with her body parts with his wife there and she encourages it.

 

Last night we played again (truth or dare) and she wanted me to kiss her sexually and her husband was all for it. Now I am really thinking they show all the signs, but may be just closet swingers even though they know we swing. They are cool with it, but I just feel they are swingers, but don't trust us enough to tell us. We are not sexually attracted to them, but they are fun to hang with.

 

So what do you all think?

[Alura 2,774]

It sounds like "if they aren't now, they may be soon."

 

Sounds like a fun couple to be friends with.

 

Alura

[Additude 457]

I think...

 

"Truth or Dare" is going to turn into "Tease and Please"...

 

Honestly, I think they are of the mindset that "If it happens it happens"...but they don't want to make it seem like they initiated it.

 

Don't ask me to define that power of reasoning, it's my wifes. I don't get it, but apparently she sees some rationality in that type of thought process.

 

Several times, we have not played because the other couple "Did not contact us first".

 

Maybe there is some denial tossed in with that...I don't know. But I know it is real.

[CXXC 435]

I think...

 

---Honestly, I think they are of the mindset that "If it happens it happens"...but they don't want to make it seem like they initiated it.

 

Don't ask me to define that power of reasoning, it's my wifes. I don't get it, but apparently she sees some rationality in that type of thought process.---

 

Mrs. CXXC is the very wame way! "If it happens, it happens!" These people take it to the furthest end of the idea tho! I kinda understand the mindset. They put themselves in a certain situation knowing the possibilities. If something happens, they will go along with it. However, they do not indtigate it and therefore are able to say, "Well, they started it!"

[Additude 457]

Yes,

 

Well it's to complicated that way for me. I'd just as soon spring into a swan dive off the high board and slice into the water as slick as a knifes edge....and end up right in the middle of it.

 

[Mr. Truelove 81]

We have made friends with some neighbors down the street. We have played a few drinking TRUTH or DARE games with them and they make it all sexual. His wife loves to show her boobs and make sexual comments to us. Some of her dares have been flashing boobs, getting naked, kissing, etc.

 

So my wife confronts the MR asking if they are swingers. OMG---he freaked out and said they would never do that, but he loves to see my wife's tits, ass, and playing with her body parts with his wife there and she encourages it.

 

Lastnight we played again (truth or dare) and she wanted me to kiss her sexually and her husband was all for it. Now I am really thinking they show all the signs, but may be just closet swingers even though they know we swing. They are cool with it, but I just feel they are swingers, but don't trust us enough to tell us. We are not sexually attracted to them, but they are fun to hang with.

 

So what do you all think?

 

J and K

 

I'd stop worrying if they were or weren't a certain "label." They act and therefore they are. You said you aren't sexually attracted to them, so handle the situation accordingly. Say we love hanging out, but are uncomfortable with the level of sexual play going on here. Or however it is you feel.

 

If they are friends they should respect your feelings.

[lizandtom 512]

From what I gather through what you (OP) wrote, the other couple can't get past the social stigma of the label of 'swinger' and all the negative connotations. If they actually admit they might be, God forbid, "swingers," they surely will be cast from society, judged by the almighty, etc etc.

 

It's the opposite of 'wannabee' swingers, where the couple says they're swingers to assimilate with the swing crowd, although really don't participate; these two love the flirt, the dare, the naughtiness of it all, but just can't bring themselves to 'cross the line.'

 

If you have fun with them, then just let them take the ball as far as they'd like. You two have the depth of swinging far more than them, so they amuse you, and since they know you swing, then you two are their Guinea pigs for experimentation; so be it as long as everyone is having fun.

[ncmd_couple 597]

It sounds to me like they are exhibitionist. That is ok. But that doesn't make them swingers. It is hard to judge sometimes, we all have our playdar on and scanning. It is sometimes hard to make sure we don't make to much of the other's behavior.

 

S

[SecretAsianMan 348]

If you're not sexually attracted to them... does it matter??

 

I mean - it's not like you're looking to swing with them? Why do you feel there's a need to define them as swingers? If they choose not to call themselves such (or play that way - that's their choice)

 

Stop worrying about what they call themselves and just enjoy the friendship (if that's all you're seeking)

[NakedInSeattle 159]

If you aren't interested in them, why does it matter? Just enjoy the playful fun. Personaly, I'd kid them about their playfulness but no swinging - something like "yeah, you talk a good game" - or "you say you do but you don't"

[Guest jef]

It is only a maater of time, they will turn around. Keep sticking with patience. Once this thing gets into their heads, it is only a matter of time. They can not resist for long

[quietlykinky 40]

Not to hijack your post, but just sharing our experience with this.

 

I have a friend that I've known since high school and he and his girlfriend know that we are swingers. Over the last few months they've been obviously testing the waters with us. I'm a photographer and she's modeled nude for me three times now so they obviously trust us and are comfortable with us. They've also been joking and insinuating lots of very sexual things, directed very clearly at one or both of us, all in good fun. The last time we were all out together my GF over heard part of a conversation where they were deciding whether or not to ask us about swinging.

 

The vibe we're getting is, not only are they curious about swinging but they're interested in playing with us, they're just too shy/nervous to make a move. We find them attractive but we're still conemplating the age-old dilemma of mixing good friends and sex.

 

They're very shy and conservative, at least on the exterior. So we're not pushing it at all, just occasionally opening conversational doors so if they want to talk about it they can. They haven't yet gone there though.

 

I think that's all you can do, try to stay as open and approachable as possible. Although it sounds like you're already there with them so you just need to wait for them to make a clear move about it.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

We are not sexually attracted to them, but they are fun to hang with.

 

So what do you all think?

 

J and K

I think because you are not sexually attracted to them you are in a much more delicate situation. The situation isn't whether you can get your friends to play with you. And your question about whether they are swingers isn't important either, as I see it.

 

Here's what I see as a possible outcome. They finally let you know they want to have sex with you, and then you have to say no. They won't like knowing you've been so flirty and sexual with them - knowing you are swingers - only to be turned down by you.

 

Or, they may never want sex with you, but enjoy the teasing, nudity and kissing. How much sexual activity and for how long will you want to continue this since you don't find them attractive sexually? Will seeing her boobs get boring after awhile? Somewhere along the road I'd be concerned that your friend's desire for play with you grows to oral or fingering and you won't want to go there because you are not sexually attracted to them. How would they handle your rejection? How will you feel rejecting them? These are the things I'd be most concerned about, not about whether to label them swingers.

 

LM

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

For some people there is a lot of power in the term "swinger". In their mind that probably means they are out looking for others and going to wild orgies on a regular basis. They may have never swung "YET" and just have a few fantasies. My guess is that if things continue to progress as you've described you'll probably be breaking them in.

[lv2prty 17]

i agree, sometimes people just can't admit they are swingers. they don't want the label. i have friends that hubby and i have partied with, but won't admit they swing. if you wanted to break the ice with them sometimes if the ladies play first it tips the scale.

[realcplub2 513]

We have made friends with some neighbors down the street. We have played a few drinking TRUTH or DARE games with them and they make it all sexual. His wife loves to show her boobs and make sexual comments to us. Some of her dares have been flashing boobs, getting naked, kissing, etc.

 

So my wife confronts the MR asking if they are swingers. OMG---he freaked out and said they would never do that, but he loves to see my wife's tits, ass, and playing with her body parts with his wife there and she encourages it.

 

Lastnight we played again (truth or dare) and she wanted me to kiss her sexually and her husband was all for it. Now I am really thinking they show all the signs, but may be just closet swingers even though they know we swing. They are cool with it, but I just feel they are swingers, but don't trust us enough to tell us. We are not sexually attracted to them, but they are fun to hang with.

 

So what do you all think?

 

J and K

 

Ok.. lets imagine the new couple down the street becomes great friends with you, over the course of a few months.. Then comes out and asks if you are swingers..

 

Do you admit it the first time asked? Are you comfortable enough with BEING OUTTED by people you live on the same street a few houses down from?

 

Did I answer your question?

[interested-05 135]

.... Now I am really thinking they show all the signs, but may be just closet swingers even though they know we swing.....

J and K

 

OK they know you swing. They are getting sexual with you.

A number of people who we know play with others make it clear," they are not swingers, It is not a lifestyle for them, They just like to add a little spice"

 

OK, So what does it matter, what they call themselves?

For your next truth or dare, Ask them how far they would like to go, do they want to party naked and play as a foursome without intercourse. I suspect they would like to soft play, but full swap would be to much for them, at least this week.

[J & K 16]

Well, come to find out that 13 yrs ago the wife wanted to "swing", but the hubby wasn't up for it. He pinged it as a trust issue after that and she approach him 2 weeks after they got married. Come to find out she has had many affairs and he puts up with it and still does knowing she has cheated.

 

A few weeks ago the husband told us they are getting a divorce. She was having sex with the next door neighbor. He didn't like that, but does not want a divorce. She pushed the issue with the Big "D" word.

 

So...I guess this topic is closed. LOL

 

J and K