Safe or vas-safe: What does it mean?

[FitCpl30s 17]

Hello, maybe someone can shed some light on this. We have noticed a lot of people write in their profile that they are safe or vas-safe, does that mean they prefer to play without condoms?

[Spoomonkey 421]

Safe usually means that they play only with condoms.

 

Vas-safe is kind of a fishing term to see if the couples they contact might be willing to play without knowing that the male has been neutered.

 

At least that is my take on it.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I have a little different take on this. I think the couples who write this want you to know he won't get you pregnant regardless of whether you go bare or if you use condoms and have a mishap.

 

However, in our experience it also means the lady half is not usually on birth control. This creates problems if they are unwilling to rely on condoms as birth control, and I wouldn't blame anyone for feeling that way. But some couples are taken by surprise by the idea that they should be responsible for their own birth control in a swinging situation. One couple we were seeing last year even put some implied pressure on Mr. Fuse to get snipped. Well, I'm on the pill, and we didn't like the idea that they would even float the idea that we should consider surgery. Their birth control. Their responsibility!

 

So to us, "vas-safe" means we better ask whether their lady is okay with condom-protected sex with a man who has not had a vasectomy.

[FitCpl30s 17]

The term vas-safe seems vague to me, it can be implied multiple ways. To me it seems like they prefer to play bareback.

[suite91 15]

I think the couples who write this want you to know he won't get you pregnant regardless of whether you go bare or if you use condoms and have a mishap.

 

This is how we feel. ^ If the condom breaks (which has happened to us), pregnancy isn't a concern.

 

Mrs. Suite and I are both "surgically safe" (another popular catch phrase) and though it's not on our profile, when we meet people it's something we share. It's not on our profile for exactly the reason you raise ~ there is a stigma, I believe, that assumes that people who advertise that they are surgically safe are somehow less concerned about condom use and the spread of STD's and are therefor passed over as perspective partners.

[sweet_tna 680]

Safe usually means that they play only with condoms.

 

Vas-safe is kind of a fishing term to see if the couples they contact might be willing to play without knowing that the male has been neutered.

 

At least that is my take on it.

 

It's my take as well, which is why Mr. Sweet and I make no mention of the both of us being surgically sterilized in our profile. We usually end up discussing it with potential playmates, but it doesn't change our stance on condom use, which is mentioned (in our profile).

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I wouldn't read anything more into it than what is stated: The husband has had a vasectomy.

 

Too many variables beyond that.

[sexcupid 809]

We are 'safe' in the fact that we insist on using condoms...and that fact is stated in our profile.

 

The few times we've seen v-safe, surgically safe, etc...those couples wanted to play without condoms...or at the very least as others have said the female wasn't on BC (neither am I because of other issues, and my sweetie has also been snipped but we still use condoms)...yet the female of the other couple insisted on condom use and the guys tried to fuck me without wearing a condom because, in their minds, since they couldn't knock me up, why was I insisting on it? Ugh, idiots.

 

So anyway...when we see v-safe...after our experiences we assume they don't want to use condoms (or at least the guy doesn't lol).

[ALilOEverything 901]

Sometimes I think couples read other profiles to see what they should write, they see others putting in there that they are surgically safe so they add it as well. I never thought to add it about myself.

[realcplub2 513]

Only one way to find out: ASK them.

 

Or better yet, clarify your personal stand on the issue.

 

If you prefer them... state it plainly.

 

If you don't or don't care either way... state that.

 

It is your job to worry about yourselves... regardless of a Vasectomy/Surgically-safe status.

[Mr. Truelove 81]

I don't know how much I would read into it. I know I am much more comfortable if the person we're playing with is vas-safe just in case. I've said it to a partner before, not to justify her lack of birth control, but to make her feel a little more comfortable.

 

I supposed condoms fall off/break, pills get forgotten. An extra layer of birth control is a nice cushion and that is all I think when I see it in a profile.

 

But we are pretty upfront about consistent condom use.

[FitCpl30s 17]

Everyone has made valid points. I guess you will never know until you ask.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Only one way to find out ASK them

 

 

I'm seeing lots of different interpretations of this. But frankly, the only way to know is to ask.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I am surprised by all the responses saying that 'safe' in a profile translates to a preference for bareback. I guess, come to think of it, we have run across that. I guess I'd always figured if they had a vasectomy, it was just a decision about birth control within a couple, and wouldn't have had anything to do with swinging when they did it. So now I know something new to watch for and ask about.

[CXXC 435]

It is not stated in our profile and we do not discuss it with our playmates unless they ask. I am snipped. Yep! Shooting blanks! Took myself out of the gene pool! Might as well be a bag of marbles, etc.

 

It does not matter to us at all if they are "safe". Condoms will always be used. I got snipped in order to get Mrs. CXXC off the pill a few years before we joined the LS. There is only one penis to enter Mrs. CXXC unsheathed! MINE!

 

Whatever the reason, we don't even pay attention to that aspect of a profile. If they request a union without a condom, they will be turned down. What they do from that point is up to them!

[Spoomonkey 421]

I guess I'd always figured if they had a vasectomy, it was just a decision about birth control within a couple, and wouldn't have had anything to do with swinging when they did it.

 

That's kind of how it strikes me as well - why mention it? As others have said, it does offer an extra piece of mind, but I've never known anyone to have a vasectomy PLUS condom requirement.

 

Are couples more "attracted" to the idea of playing with someone with both a snip and a condom? Being as both Mrs Spoo and I are surgically safe (never felt a need to put it in our profile) we don't really think about it. If a guy is still firing bullets, it doesn't matter even if the condom fails.

 

I highly doubt that I'd have gone through the hell of a vasectomy just to swing.

[suite91 15]

I highly doubt that I'd have gone through the hell of a vasectomy just to swing.

 

Really? I don't want to derail the thread but mine was so easy. Sorry to hear yours wasn't.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Really? I don't want to derail the thread but mine was so easy. Sorry to hear yours wasn't.

 

For most guys it is an easy process. I was not so lucky.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

This is one of those things where the only way to know exactly what they are thinking when they use the terms is to ask them. Some people use terms in their profiles without a clue as to what they mean just because they see them in everyone else's profiles and think that obviously that's what everyone wants to see.

 

Safe - could mean they use condoms or it could be a shortened usage of vas-safe. Vas - safe means they are vasectomy safe (he's had a vascectomy) so if pregnancy is an issue then that's one less thing. It may or may not mean that they do or do not use condoms.

[mikeandjenn2001 77]

We have seen it meaning both things in profiles. In couples that play bareback, it means that they can't get pregnant, or get anybody pregnant. For couples that use condoms, it means exactly that, that they use protection.

 

There has only been one couple that we played with bareback and while it felt better than having a condom, it was just not for us. I also agree, I didn't get a vas just for the lifestyle, it was for Jen as she suffered severe postpartum depression after our second child.

 

Even having that done, I still wear a condom, whether asked or not. It's just the way we are.

[TwoAreLooking 58]

I just keep the discussions re: fertility to offline, meet-and-greet convos. D has a vasectomy, and I am (presumably) still fertile. This happened early on, however, as we didn't (still don't) want kids together and most birth control has issues for me. Ask if interested. Suffice it to say I am apparently allergic or at least sensitive to many things.

 

I'll tell you how the non-latex/lubricated (but not with nonoxynol-9) condoms are if I get a chance to try 'em.

[Jilly girl 15]

Hello, maybe someone can shed some light on this. We have noticed a lot of people write in there profile that they are safe or vas-safe, does that mean they prefer to play without condoms?

 

Hello everyone!

 

I'm one of those "Vas-safe" or "safe" men you are talking about. I've been swinging for more than 25 years, going back to the old days when in order to meet other couples who swung, you wrote into magazines like "East Coast Swingers" or "SELECT" and supplied photos, stamps and money to forward back to the magazine until after contact was made with the people whose ad you responded to. BC.....BEFORE COMPUTERS

 

Remember, this was BEFORE the advent of AIDS, HIV or some of the concerns of today. Get the clap and "zap" a little shot cures it. (Not that I ever did)

But in those days not all couples used protection and discussing birth control was a big concern. We would always let them know I was "SAFE" and she wasn't so we'd ALL use protection, unless the other guy was safe also.

For some of us I guess it's simply a habit to put it in. But there are couples who prefer to go bareback and actually seek couples with "safe" partners.

 

But the topic kind of strayed didn't it? The question was, "What is meant by safe?"

The answer is a man or woman who is for some reason not able to cause pregnancy or become pregnant. By Birth, Surgery or what doesn't matter.

Take care and be "safe" all!

 

PS, Yes, I'm so old they cloned me from DNA found in Amber...LOL