Never assume

[TNT 1,155]

This is a cautionary tale for those single men who attend house parties. Remember, one should never assume just because you're at a party that every woman there, is there to fuck all comers.

 

Ted and I love single men. However, we were reminded last night, unfortunately, that some just don't get it.

 

Ted and I attended one of our favorite house parties last night. At one point during the night we had taken a friend to a room for some fun. As is usual, we were followed to the room by a few people. No problem there as far as that goes, we don't mind being watched as long as it's done respectfully. All the men who had gathered around were being respectful until...one particular man walks in the room and spoke extremely loudly, "Wow, the little blonde is in here, it's time to fuck."

 

NOT COOL!

 

1. Speaking loudly when entering a room where others are playing is not polite. It breaks the mood of the whole scene not only for those participating but also for those watching.

 

2. Just because a woman may be on her knees giving a man a blow job does NOT mean she is open to giving everyone one in the room a blow job and/or that she wants to be touched or fucked by everyone in the room.

 

3. A comment like that will put you permanently on the black list of ever having any chance of fucking that particular woman and could get you black listed from ever getting an invite to another party.

 

 

As it was, the man who walked in and ruined the mood pissed me off. He caused me to have to stop what I was doing, which I was greatly enjoying, sit back and announce to the room that I chose who I fucked and no one touched me without my permission, basically putting a stop to the fun I was having and the fun those who were respectfully watching were having.

 

Remember, never assume and always show respect.

 

 

Teresa

[LFM2 1,482]

Teresa,

 

GREAT REMINDER...

 

I've also had single men grope me at M&Gs which is not cool and had to remind them that I'm not there to be groped, and I choose who I'll fuck and who I'll let grope.

 

It really does ruin the evening when that happens. It feels like I'm on guard the rest of the night.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I am saddened to think that you or anyone would have to experience this. But I'm gladdened that you are holding it up as an example. If it prevents even one other person suffering a similar episode, then your message will have done it's work.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Good advice for anyone at a party ... it's not always the single guys who make these kind of comments either, unfortunately

[two4youinswva 3,068]

What a tool!

 

Just a little bit of respect can go so far in all social situations.

I hope this guy was voted off the island.

[TNT 1,155]

it's not always the single guys who make these kind of comments either, unfortunately

 

You are so right. I've seen women (married and single) and married men do the same thing. My example this time was unfortunately a single man.

 

I'm still a bit pissed about the whole thing. I was having such a good time and the rest of the men in the room (the majority of which were single) were being so respectful it was just a bummer to have someone ruin the whole scene.

 

 

Teresa

[slevin 1,374]

Reminds me of the scene in Zack and Miri make a porno where Zack walks in and declares: "Let us fuck"

[exploringRM 305]

We've never attended a house party where single men were allowed, mostly couples and a single girl (who is friends with many) now and then. Given our experience at clubs and M&Gs we would most likely avoid a party that had single men in attendance.

[femnewb4u2 328]

As was said earlier....it is not always single men who exhibit the bad taste behavior. I siympathize with what TNT is saying. Only in my case, in both cases, it was married men. Just because I am at a club having a drink does not mean you (anyone) - a stranger to me- may come behind me and begin to put your hands all over me and grope. My moving away should be a signal that that is not appropriate behavior with my body. And when you do it a second and third time you do not need to cuss or berate me loudly when my fella and I get up and walk away. And yes, I need to learn to look at said gentleman or lady and explain in a polite manner that the touch is unwelcome in my case. This I chalk up to newness at clubs - on my part that is.

 

Wow! Did not know that was in there so deep. Thank you for letting me vent. What I really wanted to say was....let's be careful not to label this a single male problem - but a human behavoir/club courtesy one.

[exploringRM 305]

As was said earlier....it is not always single men who exhibit the bad taste behavior. I siympathize with what TNT is saying. Only in my case, in both cases, it was married men. Just because I am at a club having a drink does not mean you (anyone) - a stranger to me- may come behind me and begin to put your hands all over me and grope. My moving away should be a signal that that is not appropriate behavior with my body. And when you do it a second and third time you do not need to cuss or berate me loudly when my fella and I get up and walk away. And yes, I need to learn to look at said gentleman or lady and explain in a polite manner that the touch is unwelcome in my case. This I chalk up to newness at clubs - on my part that is.

 

Wow! Did not know that was in there so deep. Thank you for letting me vent. What I really wanted to say was....let's be careful not to label this a single male problem - but a human behavoir/club courtesy one.

 

I agree that couples exhibit bad/rude behavior as well. But my experience both online and in-person have been that the subset of single guys that just don't get it, can really ruin things. Perhaps we've been lucky to not encounter this type of behavior from married people.

 

The single guys item was in my mind as at a couples party last night we were discussing a couple that holds parties close to our house. The feedback from a couple that attended was that there were too many single guys and that made my decision to not attend.

[AskMeOk 148]

We've never attended a house party where single men were allowed, mostly couples and a single girl (who is friends with many) now and then. Given our experience at clubs and M&Gs we would most likely avoid a party that had single men in attendance.

 

Well, we have, and it *can* work, usually does, for a while. Then the word gets out that single men are welcome. The result is an increase in single guys per couple.... and, as the ratio increases, the drama begins.

 

Some guy doesn't get laid in the first 10 minutes and starts mouthing off.... or there are so many guys there, the groping starts.... or one or more women are pissed the next day because they felt treated like pin cushions.

 

Then the ratio gets severely limited in some manner....

[twoforone100 45]

Good advice for anyone at a party ... it's not always the single guys who make these kind of comments either, unfortunately

 

amen

[curiouscouple69 15]

After reading these post I do believe there are reasons why some single men are single

[midnightplayer 135]

As a married man swinging without his wife (her choice) I look forward to an invite to a houseparty and or a meet and greet as a privlage and act accordingly. There is no reason to act like a teenager on his first date with raging hormones. I would insist all men act with respect for all the men and women present and never thrust themselves on others without an invitation. No means no, but beyond that act like you are a gentleman first and formost. And men dress like you need to impress, forget the jeans and T shirts. Look like you need to and shave and shower first for goodness sake. Just my thought.

[TNT 1,155]

We've never attended a house party where single men were allowed, mostly couples and a single girl (who is friends with many) now and then. Given our experience at clubs and M&Gs we would most likely avoid a party that had single men in attendance.

 

 

As is anyone's right, and when thinking about attending a house party, one should always ask if single men will be attending if being around single men is not your thing.

 

In our case, it's because single men are a major part of this particular house party that we love going to it. Every couple who attends knows there will be single men there and possibly quite a lot of them. We love single men and in over ten years of swinging, this was only the third time I've ever had a problem with a single man (and it wasn't much of a problem to begin with). Whereas, it would take more than my two hands to count the problems I've had with married men.

 

It was not my intention of having this thread turn into single male bashing. I wanted it to be an informative piece of advice for those single men that do attend house parties so they wouldn't make the same mistake this particular guy did. And, as previously stated, it's not just something single men are guilty of doing.

 

This minor incident (and it really was minor) caused no trauma on my part whatsoever and it definitely didn't or won't turn us off of single men. The only thing that really happened was I got pouty because my fun was interrupted. It's not the first time I've had my fun interrupted and it won't be the last time, but hopefully by sharing my/our experience it will help someone else from making the same mistake this particular man did.

 

 

Teresa

[WildMiCouple 325]

The only thing that really happened was I got pouty because my fun was interrupted.

So Teresa, he got to see your pouty face instead of your O face.......... definately his loss

 

Brett

[LFM2 1,482]

We love single men and in over ten years of swinging, this was only the third time I've ever had a problem with a single man (and it wasn't much of a problem to begin with). Whereas, it would take more than my two hands to count the problems I've had with married men.

 

It was not my intention of having this thread turn into single male bashing. I wanted it to be an informative piece of advice for those single men that do attend house parties so they wouldn't make the same mistake this particular guy did. And, as previously stated, it's not just something single men are guilty of doing.

 

T

 

 

Teresa

 

I also didn't mean to just bash the single men. I've also encountered a few married men who think they have card blanche because it's a swingers party. In fact, there have probably been more married men who grope than single men. Drives me nuts either way.

 

To make things fair and balanced, I've also seen women who will walk up to a man and grab him. I'm not like that, so it's a bit harder to comprehend for me. Single women I've noticed are a bit more reserved than the married women. Single women seem to stand back and wait for someone to talk to her rather than mingle right off the bat and start touching.

 

I apologize to the single men out there if you thought I was bashing just you . It was not my intention. I should have explained right off the bat that it wasn't just singles that were the offenders.

[Mr TybeeSwing 201]

They say there is always a reason for a stereotype. It may be a good reason or a bad one but there is always one. The single guy stereotype is one that has a good reason behind it. I am fairly new to being the dreaded single guy and I thought that we were as a whole being unjustly labeled, then I actually met some of my brethren and I got pissed at me. Luckily there are couples and single ladies that will give us the benefit of the doubt, that was the case for me.

 

Now am I not only the one single guy allow to our local meets, (it doesn't hurt that I usually bring a date) but I am also the one that people come to when someone needs to be quieted down.

 

I just want to thank all the people that will and do look beyond the antics of my somewhat over testosteroned and under intelligent brethren to give the rest of us a chance.

[TheMiddleDoor 68]

yeah I can see how reminding a guy to use his "inside voice" could really ruin the mood....when you're a spectator..SHUT UP!

 

this is one of the reasons why some clubs/M&G/house parties do interviews on the single guys and limit their numbers.

 

any place that just lets any single guy off the street in is asking for trouble. I've been places where it was just a cutoff.. X number of single guys and then turn the rest away..and we don't care who they are. it was a disaster. they closed down in 3 parties...each time the cops had to be called because of either theft or assault.

 

respectful single guys who know the rules are usually welcomed everywhere. unfortunately they're not easy to find. which is why some people go to the couples only parties..the club hosts don't go through the effort to find them.

 

I fully understand WHY they don't....honestly it's a pain in the ass...we easily spend 10 hours a week answering phone calls/e-mails from single guys. and then we do a few hours every weekend doing interviews. after that we background check the promising ones..to see if they're married, have a DWI , anything violent....we weed those out. after that they get a party or two when we watch them like a hawk.

 

it's not easy. but our people appreciate it. and actually once it's over the guys appreciate it....being welcome at our parties is sometimes how they get into other places.

[qreskupl7476 137]

In our experience we've found that there are some single guys in the lifestyle that are swingers . . . and others that are just single guys.

 

The ones that "get it" are cool, wish there were more of them.

 

The ones that don't "get it" however, can certainly F up a good party. We were at one party where, no matter what we did it seemed, this one dude (who most definitely didn't "get it") just kept showing up and totally blasting our mojo into oblivion. We went to another room and started making out thinking maybe some other folks would join us . . . and there he was hands everywhere they didn't belong. We went to another room . . . and there he was, same thing again. It went on all night like this until the two of us finally gave up on any swinging happening and went into another room to enjoy each other privately and closed the door. Right in the middle of the festivities we were interrupted by the door opening slightly and then slamming shut. Turns out the dude was going to walk in on us, and someone else grabbed the door and closed it rather forcefully to get their point across. They then asked him to leave and not come back. We still don't think he knows why he got the boot.

 

Once . . . Twice . . . Threeeeeee times a douchebag . . .