"Meet the swingers" article in Self Magazine

[HappyMdCpl 52]

Hey all- just wondering if anyone saw the article on swinging in Self magazine and wanted to know your thoughts.

 

We thought it was pretty interesting that a mainstream magazine is discussing swinging! its pretty well written, lots of therapists opinions... nothing we didn't already know or think about.

 

Looking forward to hearing your opinions on it!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Will have to look for the magazine and pick up a copy.

[xxxboxy 139]

Well balanced and well written. All in all an honest article, non judgmental...loved the artwork associated with the article.

[ebsfgncu 44]

Read it over the weekend. Fairly well written but honestly not any more info that I didn't already know. Still, for those who might be on the edge of exploring this fun lifestyle, it might just be to boost they need.

[DigginIt 1,132]

This was the article that was written by Hallie Levine Sklar who posted the thread on SB who was looking for people to interview.

 

We were happy to see that it was presented in a non judgmental way but I don't like the opening statement:

 

Swinging appears to be on the rise, and it might be happening right next door. SELF reports on whether it revives or ruins relationships.

 

They never really deliver on that second statement. The bulk of the stories center around things that often go wrong for new swingers which is good for people that are seeing this for the first time BUT they don't present that swinging, like everything else in life, is trial and error.

 

They should have had an equal amount of success stories to counter the end of the story which leaves you more with the scale weighted towards things that could go wrong.

 

I did like the one quote by Frank Farley "There's the sex they have outside the home and then the intimate lovemaking they have in their bedroom. Most people aren't able to wall off the two experiences."

 

All in all, a very good article, I just wish it would have been more 50/50 because I felt it was about 30/70 (success/failure).

 

Just my thoughts.

[Coffeeblack 38]

Does anyone know if you can view the article online?...I'm trying to locate it, but I think I might be overlooking it.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I don't think you will find it online yet, if they post it at all, these sites tend to only post a small percentage of the articles that come out in the magazine as teasers to get more print sales.

 

The front page title is "New Sex Trend: Bad Idea Or Bedroom Bliss?"

[HappyMdCpl 52]

Does anyone have thoughts on the part when they discuss the hormonal issues/implications? They mention that oxytocin levels rise during orgasm, which is a bonding hormone. Curious to know thoughts on this... and from those who have more experience then us, if this has ever happened to you or your play partners? (ie: falling for one another due to sex/hormones/attachments).

 

My hubby and I have not found that we feel "in love" at all with any of our play mates after sex (have only done full swap twice, different cpls each time), but if anything, spending time together or such seems to build more of an emotional connection rather then just having sex/orgasms. We seem to be really good at compartmentalizing love vs. lust (sex) thus far. (granted, we are newbies so time will tell).

[DigginIt 1,132]

Does anyone have thoughts on the part when they discuss the hormonal issues/implications? They mention that oxytocin levels rise during orgasm, which is a bonding hormone. Curious to know thoughts on this... and from those who have more experience then us, if this has ever happened to you or your play partners? (ie: falling for one another due to sex/hormones/attachments).

 

My hubby and I have not found that we feel "in love" at all with any of our play mates after sex (have only done full swap twice, different cpls each time), but if anything, spending time together or such seems to build more of an emotional connection rather then just having sex/orgasms. We seem to be really good at compartmentalizing love vs. lust (sex) thus far. (granted, we are newbies so time will tell).

 

I get a "cuddly" (for no other better description) feeling afterwards but I have no confusion for whom I love. While I think the hormone may assist with the "pair bonding" and other various behaviors, I think it is probably more influential in the initial falling in love stages with a new couple. I don't doubt it's influence though and I'm sure it's probably the reason behind a lot of swinging drama with couples that are not into swinging for the right reasons in the first place.

 

Anyone who is swinging, who isn't truly in love, it's just a matter of time before their marriage is pulled apart anyways. Swinging is just the catalyst but it wasn't the problem. The problem was there before they started.

 

Just my thoughts. I'm still new also, just coming up on a year of swinging.

[Chicup 41]

Personally this is why I think swinging alone in a 1-1 situation is bad for a lot of people. If you get off and then go back to your spouse its different than getting off and then having quality snuggle time.

 

I think it PRIMES us for pair bonding, but what you do after is what matters.

[JoCoCpl 99]

There are a couple of comments on it so far from vanillas -- of course, they are disgusted and upset that the magazine would do such an article, and they are sadly misinformed about things such as diseases, how it can possibly be a good thing, etc.

 

I think some of the more well-spoken people from here should register and comment in a positive way about the upside of swinging and provide a little bit of education to those well-meaning, misinformed souls.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

. . . but for Gregory and Jenna, who are newlyweds, it means having sex with other people.

 

Contrary to the wisdom displayed at The Swingersboard. Swinging is a pretty risky activity for newlyweds.

 

. . . Swingers Date Club, the world's largest swinger site. . .

 

Sez who?

 

. . . A good number of the swinging couples I see are successful, affluent and Ivy League–educated. . .

 

Does not match my experience. To borrow a thought from one of the other esteemed members of this bulletin board, there might be something going on at the trailer court on the other sides of the railroad tracks. In actual fact, there is.

[xxxboxy 139]

. . . A good number of the swinging couples I see are successful, affluent and Ivy League–educated. . .

 

That would describe the normal social circle for the person making the statement. No different than the person from the trailer park saying

 

...A good number of my neighbors have been in jail at one time or another...

 

Both could be true statements based off of their social contexts.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Even in swinging "birds of a feather .... flock together"

[DigginIt 1,132]

Okay, had to join Self.com and add my comment in the mix

 

I'm sure what I say won't stick to anyone who is close-minded but I felt better.

[xxxboxy 139]

I loved the "how it affects the children" comment made by one of the negative posters. I wonder how much she lets her sex life affect her children? I sure as hell hope that the answer is not at all...

[DigginIt 1,132]

I loved the "how it affects the children" comment made by one of the negative posters. I wonder how much she lets her sex life affect her children? I sure as hell hope that the answer is not at all...

 

I'm sure that woman believes we let them watch. After all, we are all disgusting perverts.

[sahajacpl 95]

HappyMdCpl said:

Hey all- just wondering if anyone saw the article in Self magazine and wanted to know your thoughts.

 

Thanks for bringing the article to our attention. We also thought that the article is well written and balanced.

 

An article on swinging in a mainstream magazine, with a mostly a positive tone, just goes to prove that swinging, playing, and swapping mates for sexual intercourse with another couple's spouse or mate is now pretty much accepted by the society. There is no reason in the world why a married couple must restrict sexual intercourse to between husband and wife, and, not partake of other male/female partners for sexual enjoyment, with each others full knowledge and consent.

 

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

sahajacpl said:

 

An article on swinging in a mainstream magazine, with a mostly a positive tone, just goes to prove that swinging...is now pretty much accepted by the society.

I haven't read the article, but no matter what topic is discussed in a magazine, it does not mean that society "pretty much" accepts it.

 

I've seen no proof that more people accept swinging than don't.

 

Magazines write about topics that get people to buy their publication.

 

Quote

There is no reason in the world why a married couple [shouldn't swing].

 

There are reasons why married couples should not swing. We discuss these reasons throughout the Swingers Board.