Overnight wife swapping

[asncpl 729]

We were given an interesting proposition from one of our long-time swinger partners. They wanted to know if we want to trade partners for a full night. Basically we would meet up for dinner and we would go home with each other's wives, have fun, and switch back next morning. This is not a situation where one partner goes off to swing and the other sits at home.

 

We have been swinging with this couple for a long time, both same room and separate room, and we trust this couple to be respectful and courteous. But while my husband and I have done separate room swap, we were always under one roof when it comes to swinging, and have never swung separately. My husband wants to give it a go but he lets me have the final say. I am not a jealous type (at least it hasn't come up so far) and I think I am ok with it. I am certainly curious about it and even a bit turned on by the whole thing.

 

I am wondering if anyone here has this experience, or is there something I haven't considered, whether sexually or emotionally? Anything to watch out for in this type of situation?

[Alura 2,774]

I don't see much of a difference between separate rooms and separate houses. If all y'all are on the same page and have no fear of communication, why not?

 

We used to do something similar with our Playcouples. We'd have "date night." Mr. Playcouple would pick up Laura and I his wife. We'd go out to dinner (at different restaurants) and a movie (or whatever), returning to the wives' homes for sex. Of course, that was never voiced; the idea was for the men to "seduce" the women. The husbands never spent the night, though. I think we were too anxious to enjoy the love making experience that always came with our own wives after playing.

 

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

 

Alura

[The Fuse 1,012]

Have you spent the night in separate rooms with your play partners, but in the same house? That might be a good way to start. That way if everyone has the emotional security of their own spouse right down the hall, and you all have breakfast together.

 

The one thing I can say with certainty is that staying the whole night with someone encourages bonding. This is not to be taken lightly, in my opinion. It is very intimate to sleep the whole night with someone, wake up with them when you're at your most vulnerable and relaxed, and dealing with each other's morning breath and other things you share with your spouse. It's intimate but in a different way than sex. It breaks down barriers sex doesn't.

 

My advice is to think about it carefully, decide if you're comfortable with that. If so, think about starting by spending the night with each others' spouses in the same house. Mr. Fuse and I used to do this regularly with one couple. We never felt the need to switch houses for a night. For a long time, we enjoyed this very very much. It was great.

 

What to watch out for: one or more people start to feel uncomfortable and wish to go back to their own spouse. Or... one pair is way more comfortable than the other pair.

 

Good luck! Let us know what you decide.

[lustylearning 705]

The one thing I can say with certainty is that staying the whole night with someone encourages bonding.

 

This is it in a nutshell. So consider your choice carefully.

[Newpants 21]

The one thing I can say with certainty is that staying the whole night with someone encourages bonding.

 

We are a same-room couple so you will have to take this with a big grain of salt.

 

Since this is a long time, established swinging relationship the chances are that a one time all night swap probably won't cause any immediate harm.

 

However, I do agree with The Fuse, but what is more concerning to me about all night house swaps is not only that it 'can' encourage bonding but more important is that I think the reason people want to do this is because they 'WANT' to experience bonding and want to seek a deeper relationship and a deeper level of intimacy. They are actually seeking it out and people usually find what they seek.

 

What I think is important here is what are people's motivations for doing this? Is it just to try something new and different or is it because they are lacking intimacy and bonding in their own relationship and now they are seeking a substitute?

 

I am not saying that is necessarily all bad, but I am saying I think it is important to found out everyone's motivations for doing this and determining if you want to deal with the fallout of their motivations or not.

 

This kind of thing does work for some couples and they do it with some degree of regularity without any ill effects. However of all the couples we have known over the last several years that have split up almost all of them were dating/playing individually in this manner before they split.

 

We can all make chicken/egg arguments here in whether they were on their way to splitting in the first place but we have seen this way too many times not to see that there is some form of correlation.

 

My advice is to look into their motivations for wanting to go to this level and determine if you are ok with this. If they are looking for some deeper intimacy that is lacking in their relationship do you want to be the ones to fill that void. Also take a hard look into your own motivations and determine if this something that you think is a positive thing or potentially a detriment down the road.

 

If you are going to try it at least keep your eyes wide open and listen to your gut.

[lovinher 505]

Is your husband and the other wife more into each other than you and her husband? Who asked for or is encouraging the subject, the husband or wife? Does one bring it up more than the other?

[VanHlebar 187]

While this has been on our fantasy list for many years, we have only had one couple that we actually came close to even doing it with. We never got to experience it for many reasons, but I think if we ever do get to ours will be a lot more like Alura's. We might do either a combined dinner date, then head out separately to a bar/movie whatever and then back to a different house for the sex. Afterwards though I am sure we would be heading back to our own homes so that we could be with our partners for the remainder of the evening.

 

For me I have always enjoyed going back to Mrs Van after playing and it didn't matter what time it was that we finally made it home. I like this idea a lot and I also like the idea of working up slowly to it. The spending the night but all under the same roof it a great idea and allows you to still have emotional security if it is required by anyone during the evening.

 

-Van

[The Fuse 1,012]

We are a same-room couple so you will have to take this with a big grain of salt.

 

Since this is a long time, established swinging relationship the chances are that a one time all night swap probably won't cause any immediate harm.

 

However, I do agree with The Fuse, but what is more concerning to me about all night house swaps is not only that it 'can' encourage bonding but more important is that I think the reason people want to do this is because they 'WANT' to experience bonding and want to seek a deeper relationship and a deeper level of intimacy. They are actually seeking it out and people usually find what they seek.

 

What I think is important here is what are people's motivations for doing this? Is it just to try something new and different or is it because they are lacking intimacy and bonding in their own relationship and now they are seeking a substitute?

 

I am not saying that is necessarily all bad, but I am saying I think it is important to found out everyone's motivations for doing this and determining if you want to deal with the fallout of their motivations or not.

 

This kind of thing does work for some couples and they do it with some degree of regularity without any ill effects. However of all the couples we have known over the last several years that have split up almost all of them were dating/playing individually in this manner before they split.

 

We can all make chicken/egg arguments here in whether they were on their way to splitting in the first place but we have seen this way too many times not to see that there is some form of correlation.

 

My advice is to look into their motivations for wanting to go to this level and determine if you are ok with this. If they are looking for some deeper intimacy that is lacking in their relationship do you want to be the ones to fill that void. Also take a hard look into your own motivations and determine if this something that you think is a positive thing or potentially a detriment down the road.

 

If you are going to try it at least keep your eyes wide open and listen to your gut.

If we assume they might be wanting this because they don't have enough intimacy, then do you think they swing in the first place because of a lack of sex? I think for many couples, it's about the added intimacy rather than filling a void, just like swinging is about additional sex and variety. It is important to make sure your friends are in a secure relationship, but I'm general i think people just like this because it's fun.

[Alura 2,774]

We certainly never felt the need for more intimacy with other couples. We were friends, liked each other a lot, but never even toyed with the idea of developing stronger intimacy with them.

 

On the contrary, it was merely a way of reliving "dating" as it had been when we were single.

 

A variation was to meet the other couple outside a restaurant, exchange partners, and approach the Hostess as if we didn't know each other. Laura would have dinner with Mr. Playmate, and I with Mrs. Playmate. The fun part was that we could watch our mates out of the corners of our eyes.

 

We began this game with the idea that it was a first date. A lot of the conversation was learning about each other. "Where did you grow up? How many kids in the family?" Of course, the prospect of getting laid on a "first date" made it even more exciting.

 

I remember one evening, after leaving the restaurant, we happened to stop behind Mr. Playmate's pickup truck at a red light. The way he and Laura were making out, easily viewable through the rear window, made it plain they had no intention of going anywhere but bed. We did the same and had a lot to talk about when I got home later! I'm sure our Playcouple did, too.

 

Laura told me later that when the light changed, she said "How about if we forget the movie and go to my place and fuck?"

 

To us, the best part of swinging was sharing the experience. This was merely a different way of sharing. We didn't take it very seriously. It was only a game.

 

Alura

[Newpants 21]

If we assume they might be wanting this because they don't have enough intimacy, then do you think they swing in the first place because of a lack of sex? I think for many couples, it's about the added intimacy rather than filling a void, just like swinging is about additional sex and variety. It is important to make sure your friends are in a secure relationship, but I'm general i think people just like this because it's fun.

 

So would that be like a vanilla looking at us same-room swinging and saying that something must be missing in our marriage and that we are sure to self-destruct since we are swinging??? If that is what you are getting at, I get your point.

 

I guess I see things like separate dating and house swaps etc as a higher level of swinging and one a little higher risk. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'm right about that but even so I still think my concerns and advice are valid.

 

Let's say it is a 'higher level' of swinging (if there is such a thing), would it still not be valid advice to suggest that people closely examine their rationale for going to a higher level as well as to examine the rationale of their potential playmates?

 

I'll put it this way, if someone was considering going from monogamous vanilla life to starting to explore same-room swinging, my advice to them might be worded a little differently but my message would be essentially the same. Keep your eyes open, follow your gut and examine your motivations as well as the motivations of your potential playmates. If something seems wrong, it probably is.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here-- It can take sex to a level of greater emotional engagement. This would seem to lend itself to polyamory.

 

Ed and I did this twice with the same couple. We still Play with them, yet we realized that solo overnights were creating an emotional bond on a level we did not want to deal with. They also realized the same thing. I have my source for love, I married him.

[PB&J 1,086]

We played a couple of times with another couple where the husband told me that he wanted to do this... he went as far as saying that he liked the idea of pretending to be married to the other woman for the duration of the swap. That wasn't fun and games, that was creepy. We don't play with them any more, because that sort of vibe really bothered me. However, if it was just for a fun romp, I can see that it could work with the right couple.

[Chicup 41]

The one thing I can say with certainty is that staying the whole night with someone encourages bonding.

 

I came here to say that.

 

It might be just fine, but there are a lot of 'what ifs' involved too. When swinging is no longer an 'us' thing but a 'I' thing, weird things CAN happen. Not saying they will, but just something to think about.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I definitely gotta agree with the previous posters about "bonding" with those folks as you spend the night together...

 

But if what you're looking for is more of a polyamorous "relationship" with this other couple -- then that's cool. If you're just looking for a casual encounter with them with only a casual "friend"-like connection - this can get tricky

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . I am wondering if anyone here has this experience, or is there something I haven't considered, whether sexually or emotionally? Anything to watch out for in this type of situation?

My wife and I do something almost the same as the overnight swap you are considering. One or the other of us will take an afternoon off to have play time with the husband or wife of a couple whom we more typically meet two-on-two. On just one occasion we did an overnight swap. Will probably do again if the opportunity presents.

 

Neither of us have felt the kind of "bonding" that some of the other members describe. No more bonding, in any case, than happens quite naturally when you look into a play partners smiling eyes while you are belly-to-belly. Trust your instincts on this one. If you are earnestly able to say to yourself both before and after, this is just for fun, you'll be OK.

 

~Michael

[The Fuse 1,012]

So would that be like a vanilla looking at us same-room swinging and saying that something must be missing in our marriage and that we are sure to self-destruct since we are swinging??? If that is what you are getting at, I get your point..

 

Yes, that's what I meant.

 

But I think I also said that it is something not to be taken lightly. I still believe that. It's all about what you are looking for. If you're comfortable with spending that much time in an intimate way with your play partner, without your spouse around, great. If you are just looking for fun and sex without any deeper feelings of close friendship or more, I'd say skip it.

[asncpl 729]

Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions! I don't think our play partners are looking for a deeper intimacy but I can see how that can be an issue. But the bonding part is definitely something i need to consider some more. I think I am going to take The Fuse's suggestion and see if they want to try overnight but in the same house, and we can do separate things in the afternoon and "date" each other's spouse if we are up to it. That's a great way to give it a go and still provides the safety net if something doesn't feel right!

 

Thanks everybody!

[DigginIt 1,132]

When swinging is no longer an 'us' thing but a 'I' thing, weird things CAN happen.

 

100% agree, very well put!

 

I also think several others made great observations as well.

[good times 991]

We have never done it at separate houses, but we have spent the night with play partners in the same house in separate rooms a couple of times. We never experienced any of the problems others have alluded to here, but I can't say we really enjoyed it all that much either. Our main problem with it was that we really couldn't sleep with a strange person. Partly for self conscious reasons (will I snore, or toss and turn, or otherwise keep the play partner up all night), and partly because it was just not what we were used to (we are just used to, and most comfortable sleeping with each other).

 

Bottom line is, while we are glad we tried it, we really don't need to do that again. That fantasy is pretty much crossed off of our list for now. On the other hand, if a play partner couple really wanted to try it, and we liked them enough, we might consider fulfilling their fantasy.

 

No offense intended to the other posters here, but I really think this is a case of over thinking this. The fact is this is just a simple fantasy that a lot of people decide to experience at some point. Personally, I don't think it means anything other than that the majority of the time. So my advice is that if it is an idea that appeals to you, give it a try. You will either find out you really like it, as some of our friends do, or you may find you are more like us and feel it was fun and different, but not all you thought it would be.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

No offense intended to the other posters here, but I really think this is a case of over thinking this. The fact is this is just a simple fantasy that a lot of people decide to experience at some point. Personally, I don't think it means anything other than that the majority of the time. So my advice is that if it is an idea that appeals to you, give it a try. You will either find out you really like it, as some of our friends do, or you may find you are more like us and feel it was fun and different, but not all you thought it would be.

I agree with Good Times. It isn't that complicated a decision if you want to give the fantasy a try.

 

Because I have experienced overnighters with couples, I can say that it can be very fun. It was also very different for me.

 

When I was with couples I traveled a distance and staying overnight was the only practical way to go. With most couples I slept in my own bed after play finished. Only with one couple did I sleep in the same bed, and that was because we were at a hotel.

 

The biggest difference in overnight play for me was not feeling flirty and playful all that time. Much of the time it was a very vanilla, friendly, fun get-together. The sex was only a few hours of the 24-hour time together and it was very exciting.

 

I would prefer not to sleep in the same bed because I don't feel pretty or sexy snoring (which I've been told I do now and then) nor do I like to sleep with makeup on, nor do I like the idea of exchanging 'morning breath' with a playmate. These are not sexy things.

 

I'm a very practical person and for me sleepovers are better when I have my own bed.

 

My husband and I haven't swapped as you would like to, but we wouldn't hesitate to give it a go if we found a couple open to it.

 

LM

[Chicup 41]

I don't think the issue is that you WILL bond, fall in love, have fatal attraction because of it. The issue is it just increases the drama chance.

[STanLY 42]

I did it in my first marriage. I was in the Army and deployed overseas. When I came back 4 months later my wife threw a party for me and after everyone else had gone home just one couple were left - our neighbors from a few doors away. Pretty much without any warning both of the girls started having some fun together and then proceeded to give me a blow job. After I'd completely ruined their makeup the other lady took me by the hand and we went off to their house leaving her hubby to service my lady.

 

(Needless to say they'd been getting it together whilst I was away and found the easiest way to tell me was orally!).

 

We later tried a group scene but it didn't work very well. We ended up spending two or three nights a week at the "other" house. Then it became obvious that we were all becoming much too close to our alternate partners. We started off as 2 couples and ended up as 4 singles!

[belgiumcoast 55]

We have never done it at separate houses, but we have spent the night with play partners in the same house in separate rooms 2 or 3 times with one couple. They're one of our favorite swing-couples and it we just did it without discussing it with them or among ourselves. We just felt by te look in each others eyes that it was ok. And it was ok: we really had fun, playing at night, sleeping and playing again in the morning, hearing sounds from the other room from our partners. BUT the best thing that happened, the best sex ever between me and my wife was those mornings just after having sex with our play-partners and then the wives went back to their hubbies for another round. To clarify not the best sex physically we were to tired after all that play with the swing-partners, but emotionally the bonding between me and my wife was of an incredible level then.

[willyoats 324]

It only happened once in all the years we were swinging. We guys loved it, our wives didn't.

[YZF 8]

We did it a year ago. It went from a weekend with each other's partner to poly to separation and now pending divorce.

[couplers 4,640]

 

On the contrary, it was merely a way of reliving "dating" as it had been when we were single.

 

Alura

 

Hubby and I agree that playing alone, particularly when it is more than just quick sex, has a thrill all its own - like dating. We have even gone separate ways on occasion for weekends or brought along our lover on a business trip or seminar in a nice location when the spouse couldn't make it. It's fun, but when the time is over we are ready, and it is so nice (and thrilling), to get back home.

 

It goes back to what I think is a human dichotomy - we all want the security of a home and a mate while wanting the thrill of the new sexual relations. Love and understanding in the first allows the second.

 

As for emotional bonds, they can develop, but that can be a good thing. Hubby says that if he were to get hit by a bus it is reassuring to know that Red would be there for me. And besides, I have varying emotional attachment to other people I don't sleep with, so that's not the issue.

 

Another reality about human nature is that mating for life is only a 50/50 likelihood even if a couple doesn't swing and believes in monogamy forever. Being able to satisfy the need for sexual variety in a loving marital relationship actually removes once reason for the big breakup.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

We did it a year ago. It went from a weekend with each other's partner to poly to separation and now pending divorce.

 

:(

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We did it a year ago. It went from a weekend with each other's partner to poly to separation and now pending divorce.

Are you trying to make logical connections here; overnight swapping enabled polyamory which enabled separation which enabled divorce? Or are you simply laying out a time-line for events in your life?

[YZF 8]

Are you trying to make logical connections here; overnight swapping enabled polyamory which enabled separation which enabled divorce? Or are you simply laying out a time-line for events in your life?

 

Not projecting on anyone else, just stating how it worked out for us. Results not typical. Your own results may vary, as they say.

[mixtupcpl 169]

I think the best combination of advice is understand the motivations behind the ask, and be aware of the possible risks.

 

We're an open couple, rather than a swinging couple, and we don't do this. We both always come home. We just feel its important to keep the intimacy of sleeping together to just us. But thats us.

 

I can easily see this both ways... Harmless fun that just fulfills a fantasy, or a slippery slope that leads to drama. Only you can really know which situation you are likely to find yourself in. But I think in this case a "yellow light" might want to be viewed as a "red light" if you see what I'm saying... If something just sort of feels "off", you should probably pass this by.

[dr_pepper 25]

When I lived in this area (New England) 30 years ago, there were what was known as "key parties". I never was in a position to attend one, but I gather that at the end of the party, the womens house keys were thrown in a bowl and the guys drew keys to see who they were going home with. My understanding was that this was an overnight happening.

 

The lady I was married to at the time thought that this was horrible, but a woman I married later thought it was a really fun idea. Unfortunately, when I was with her, there were not any such parties, nor were we able to find any compatible couples to play with.

 

Over the years I have know a few couples that I think would have been fun to swap with for the night or weekend. Whether sex was involved or not. They were just fun people.

[sahajacpl 95]

Neither of us have felt the kind of "bonding" that some of the other members describe. No more bonding, in any case, than happens quite naturally when you look into a play partners smiling eyes while you are belly-to-belly. Trust your instincts on this one. If you are earnestly able to say to yourself both before and after, this is just for fun, you'll be OK. ~Michael

 

We tend to agree the opinion in the quote above.

 

A full-night swap of partners with another couple has been a fantasy of ours, though have never acted on it. Don,t know why spending all night with someone else' s mate and enjoying sex all night with him/her would be all that different! Since our own marital bond is secure and unbreakable (or so we think) why would an all night swap with another couple's mate for play and intercourse would present a particular hazard as so many seem to think and caution against?

 

[Adam-n-Eve 223]

How to answer this?

 

I liked the comment that said this is a "higher level" of swinging. For the right couples this could just another step in the process. It might lead to a better relationship, and it might work out well. If it is a higher level of swinging, I'm not ready for it.

 

My advice is alway the same: do it, see how it feels; and, if you don't like it, don't do it again. Of course, that assumes that you're two mature adults who can work out any problems that might arise.

 

We did something similar, but it was only one of us: Eve. I really didn't think I would have a problem with her spending the weekend with a guy -- after all, I'm not the jealous type and we had yet to find a situation we weren't comfortable with. We even like a certain amount of intimacy during our encounters with other partners (like, the more the better). Yet, I disliked it almost from the beginning.

 

There are some things that I don't want to share with other men. Oddly enough, it's not sex, but it's the little things like getting ready together when we're at the hotel and about to go out for the evening. Or, coming back from dinner and relaxing before going out to a swing club. These are the things no one sees but us. These are the truly intimate things that make up our marriage. Only I know what Eve is like at those times, and only she knows what I'm like.

 

So, I wouldn't do it. I used to think I would, but now I know I wouldn't. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Just be careful and stop if it bothers you.

[Playman64 205]

My first wife & I did that quite often with 3 other couples, it always worked out very good. Usually the women would not shower butt cum back to use with the last nights fun still in & on them. I did it with some of my gf's/lovers since that marriage.

[Riverduo 15]

We did it over a weekend (3 nights!), three years ago. We stayed at a B&B and met for breakfast and dinner. It was great, though a bit weird at times. We are great social friends still, though have decided not to continue the sexual part of our connection.

[carl01tx 17]

I think the motivation of their interest is the most important thing to consider here. I can see where it could be like a more simple separate room swap. One where afterwards you reconnect with your mate, talk, laugh, and have serious lovemaking. However one or both of the other couple may have issues with ideas in their marriage and want a more intimate relationship. Make sure that your bond is strong enough with your mate to stay safe and you should turn away any unwelcome relationship. Maybe you should openly question their reasons for the request. We are open but end up together each night after a meet up.

[Brian and Jo 344]

We have done overnight swapping many times with a couple we have known for many years. All four of us are very secure in our marriages and are very comfortable with exchanging partners for the whole night. Usually when we meet we will play all together as a foursome first and then Brian will go with P to the spare bedroom while Jo stays with J in the master. When I (Brian) am alone in bed with P we play together before we go to sleep. It is quite erotic to wake up in the morning alongside a lady who is not my wife, knowing that Jo is doing the same with J in the adjoining room. For us all it adds to the fun and the friendship we have developed over the years.

[ViSexual 1,008]

It's so rare that both wives find the other husbands very appealing and both husbands find the other wives very appealing. There usually is one of the four who is, if only slightly, taking one for the team.

 

Now this isn't that big of a deal for an hour or so but just imagine it being all night and waking up to someone you aren't that attracted to in the morning?

 

In reading these posts I remembered a lot of sexual partners that I enjoyed but wouldn't want to wake up with.

 

But, on the other hand, I sure remember a lot that I'd have enjoyed those pleasures of waking up in the middle of the night or just waking up to spooning in the morning with.

 

I'd say it has to be reserved for those rare times you find that perfect couple for you and your spouse..., and perfect for the other couple too.

[The Fuse 1,012]

This is sort of an aside, but why are we calling it "WIFE swapping", a la the title of this thread? Aren't we past the point where we think of this as the husbands swapping wives, like wives are somehow secondary, and think of it as husbands AND wives swapping?

 

Sorry to be strident (as if I don't do it regularly). But every time I see this thread the title chafes me.

[Alura 2,774]

It's an old term, Fuse, that hasn't been successfully replaced with "swinging." Mrs. Alura and I used to call it "spouse swapping" because "swinging" is a euphemism which didn't seem to accurately define what we were doing, either.

 

Where would the English language be if we had to define everything accurately?

 

Alura

[Guest newplaytoys]

We have done it and still do it. We have a few great couples we play with and have known a long time. I guess just the right people and situation. It works very well for all of us.

[tscpl 93]

I quite agree with The Fuse.When I first saw this thread I was taken aback by the reference to "wife swapping" as if we were back in the 70's. However old habits take along time to die and this one, with all its social connotations, will probably take even longer to die.

[DocWill 83]

I think this is a Russian roulette scenario; there are just too many things to factor in when you’re spending the night with someone else- without your spouse.

 

Some things to consider (and this is from my perspective only):

 

1. Swinging, in any form, isn’t really about one couple- it’s about all the people involved. We’ve been married for 17 years and we can honestly say that we have a hard enough time interpreting each other, let alone the couples we spend intimate times with. That’s why we keep our swinging on the sexual side only- anything more has the POTENTIAL/CHANCE (no matter how low) to actually become something more- especially on the part of the other couple. The fact that there’s a chance that something could “spark,” even if it’s with one person out the four, it’s too much of a chance for us. We’ve spent a lifetime developing our relationship and we’ll be damned if we take risks that we have the ability to control.

 

2. How “sexually psychopathic” are you and your husband- or the other couple for that matter? Some people have the ability to draw a distinct line between sex and emotion and some people don’t. Mrs. Will and I both have the ability to “fuck and forget” as we like to say. Both of us have been in situations before we were married where the relationship was purely sexual- and both of us were able to walk away from those relationships without remorse when the other person started to get too attached or too possessive (and we've done it in the LS as well with close friends). I don’t care what anyone says- once you raise the stakes, the more you have to lose. This is why I say it’s a Russian roulette scenario; If you KNOW, and I stress the word KNOW, that all four of you can draw that line- then fuckin’ A… have a great time and enjoy it. HOWEVER, most people can’t draw that line after the orgasms are over and they find themselves working on something besides the sex to keep them interested.

 

3. Consider that spending that much time with the other spouse may expose to you to something that you don’t like, and that it could completely turn you off and ruin the already great relationship you have with the other couple- or them with you. Here’s why I say this, and it may seem petty, but like I said before- you have FOUR people to take into consideration here. Before we got married I met this extremely sexy woman. I would see her from time to time and she would just captivate me- she dripped sex, class, and mystery at the same time. We eventually hooked up, had sex, and then went home separately. I was even MORE entranced- and wanted more. The second time we hooked up, I spent the night. At some point in the early morning she got up to use the bathroom- and let out an obscene, wet sounding fart that echoed throughout the apartment. That’s all it took. All the mystery, class, and sexiness that captivated me were GONE in that instant. I never slept with her again, and I had nightmares (as well as a good story) for months. Something THAT insignificant ruined it for me- and that wasn’t the only time it happened.

 

4. The last thing you should consider is the “why.” This is my favorite question. What need or want do any of you have that would make this experience something more than what you would get with a separate room swap? This is the red flag I have here with your situation. Swapping partners for an entire night is NOT the norm (not that swinging is the norm by any means)- some people do it and have fun with it, but I have yet to see something like that end without the relationship being, or eventually developing, into something poly. That being said, how many couples do you see in a poly relationship? There’s a reason why most swingers don’t do overnight swaps- and if they do, or did, they usually don’t make it a habit- usually because of a negative. Connect the dots and fill in the missing information before you jump in the pool.

 

Well, that’s it. As usual I got carried away, but I believe in thinking things through. We’re relatively new to the LS, and we’ve already made one mistake by doing something we knew was risky, and just about everyone on here told us to take caution with, that ended poorly- not for us, but for the other couple and we hold some of the responsibility. There’s no doubt you’re taking a chance. Just think about how complicated a NORMAL relationship is- then multiply those complications by four and add in the unexpected before you take that path.

[SAVANDWIN 266]

Overnight "Swapping" isn't for us; we've never tried it and neither of us ever wants to. We like being together, sharing the experience and quite frankly I do not want to know any playmate that intimately. Your bathroom routine is a private matter and should stay that way, your sleep patterns, how you want the blankie, which side you sleep on , how many pillows you need and whether you take cream with your coffee or heaven forbid don't drink coffee is far too much information for me. I fall asleep content each night in the arms of the love of my life and waking up to his smile sets the right tone for my whole day and would not trade that for all the world.

The greatest thing about swinging/life is no matter what you do or do not do there are 1000's of people with the same preferences .

 

Mrs Sav

[weplay 20]

In our limited swinging experience, we've been very fortunate to meet another couple that we've clicked with extremely well. We play together a lot.

 

Usually, our play begins in the same room and sometimes it ends on the same bed. However, as the relationship progressed, Mrs Weplay and her friend have decided that they prefer some time in a separate room and often go off by themselves for the final act.

 

The four of us have pushed the envelope a few times by playing alone on a few occasions. The most memorable was going on an overnight trip about 100 miles from each other. The only thing that made me feel a little funny was her telling me that he'd fucked her FIVE times in less than 24 hours. His wife and I did it ..... twice.

 

Most recently, we met for dinner to celebrate her birthday. His birthday is within a week of hers. His wife and I conspired and surprised them after dinner with a hotel room for the evening... alone.

 

We won't make a habit of playing alone but variety is the spice of life.

 

We've been married over 30 years, we're very, very into each other... do everything together and have an awesome sex life. Playing, to us, is just playing. We've earned the right to let our hair down and explore life in new and different ways. And we're lovin' it!

[lustylearning 705]

The only thing that made me feel a little funny was her telling me that he'd fucked her FIVE times in less than 24 hours. His wife and I did it ..... twice.

 

Comparison is the thief of joy. Did you enjoy it? Did your partner? If so, then roll with it. We're not all the same.

[sweet_tna 680]

Hmm . . . While the idea of a separate play date (different restaurants/activities and separate play) appeals to me, I'd still prefer to come home to my own hubby to sleep--or at least have him next to me. (We've shared a bed with others before.)

 

Besides, I'm a bed hog, and would likely knock my poor exhausted playmate to the floor . . .

 

=)

[samnsam 15]

Hmm . . . While the idea of a separate play date (different restaurants/activities and separate play) appeals to me, I'd still prefer to come home to my own hubby to sleep--or at least have him next to me. (We've shared a bed with others before.)

 

Besides, I'm a bed hog, and would likely knock my poor exhausted playmate to the floor . . .

 

=)

 

Seriously doubt any of our playmates could stand my snoring... that close...or that ms sam could sleep without it...

[weplay 20]

@lustylearning there's no question all four of us had a great time.

 

@sweet_tna we absolutely love regrouping after play time. Sleeping apart overnight has been a rare thing and I don't see that changing.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Besides, I'm a bed hog, and would likely knock my poor exhausted playmate to the floor . . . =)

 

That's what (well one of the things) handcuffs and ropes are for