Cell phone video / photos

[Devil 18]

An old friend recently revealed to me that while she and my wife were having a three way encounter with a male acquaintance a couple of years ago, the guy reached for his cell phone and videoed himself having sex with my wife from behind --without her knowing.

 

She says she did not know what to do at the time, and it still bothers her. I told her to keep quiet, as my wife would be mortified is she found out. The guy moved away shortly after, and there is no benefit I can see from bringing this up.

 

My Wife drunkenly agreed to be in an amateur VHS porn movie as a teen-ager (under 18) and lived in dread that the video would surface. This is way off limits for her. Everyone has a cell phone now.

 

Look out

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I think you should tell her, and the sooner the better....

 

 

fun4ds

[Trace Ekies 186]

I agree with 4D's...you need to get her up to speed chop, chop...if it comes up and she learns that you knew all hell will break loose and you owe it to her to NOT let her be blindsided.

 

Trace

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Have to agree with the others here. Tell her now. There's a whole host of problems you will invite by not telling her. That's just one of the benefits of bringing it up to her. Another one is her confidence in you being with her 100%, and always having her back if a bad situation arises.

 

When it comes to spouses, lying isn't just saying something that's not true. It's intentionally not telling them something of significance they have a right to know.

 

Do yourself a big favor and tell her.

[Chicup 41]

I have to completely disagree with the above opinions.

 

Odds are she won't ever know and it was from behind. Even if it is on the internet (and btw with so much high quality free porn out there crappy phone video isn't going to go far).

 

If she knows she will be angry and constantly think about it, who's seeing it etc, and be completely powerless to do anything about it.

 

What does she gain by telling her?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

When I read the OP's post (before anyone had replied) I felt his intent in posting was to warn people about how easily someone can pull out a cell phone and videotape you during play without your knowledge. It's something to think about, especially in group play where it could go unnoticed more easily.

 

The event is years past and I see no need to tell the wife what happened, as there is nothing that can be done about it now. Telling her would cause her great worry and pain.

 

I find it surprising how often people suggest that 'telling all' is the only way to be an honest, loving spouse. On the contrary, I think that knowing when not to share something takes great love and strength.

 

In this particular instance, I see no point in telling the wife about the videotaping.

 

LM

[LFM2 1,482]

 

Odds are she won't ever know and it was from behind. Even if it is on the internet (and btw with so much high quality free porn out there crappy phone video isn't going to go far).

 

If she knows she will be angry and constantly think about it, who's seeing it etc, and be completely powerless to do anything about it.

 

What does she gain by telling her?

 

Exactly!

[AskMeOk 148]

This is exactly why some clubs require nudity in the play area.

 

And, I see no useful reason to give her something to worry about that she can't remedy. Keep it to yourself.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

If she knows she will be angry and constantly think about it, who's seeing it etc, and be completely powerless to do anything about it.

 

What does she gain by telling her?

This.....

 

I find it surprising how often people suggest that 'telling all' is the only way to be an honest, loving spouse. On the contrary, I think that knowing when not to share something takes great love and strength.

.....and this.

[SaSsyNsWeEt 41]

I have to completely disagree with the above opinions.

 

Odds are she won't ever know and it was from behind. Even if it is on the internet (and btw with so much high quality free porn out there crappy phone video isn't going to go far).

 

If she knows she will be angry and constantly think about it, who's seeing it etc, and be completely powerless to do anything about it.

 

What does she gain by telling her?

 

I would have to agree.

[rt829 18]

I have to agree with not telling. For one thing no one would ever be able to identify who it is.....Of course there is always the chance that he could post it and say who it is and that would make him a pretty crummy guy.

[MrsPandMe 150]

There is no benefit to bringing this up. Consider that if this is shot from behind you can't see her face and anyone she knows who wouldn't understand likely has never seen her from this aspect and would be none the wiser in the extraordinarily remote chance she or anyone who knows her would come upon this video, and that is assuming he even put it on the net. Also a remote possibility. Airing this would do much more harm then it is aimed to prevent.

 

A policy of truth is chivalrous, but is not realistically compatible with harmonious life.

 

Mr P

[sahajacpl 95]

I have to completely disagree with the above opinions.

What does she gain by telling her?

 

We have to agree. This happened years ago and no one can change the fact that it happened, was beyond her control, and, now the event and the video is lost in the abyss of time. Why make your wife miserable? How many men/women share with their spouses everything that happened in the past, particularrly when disclosure has no real value?

 

Let sleeping dogs lie.

 

[fun4Ds 1,098]

An old friend recently revealed to me that while she and my wife were having a three way encounter with a male acquaintance a couple of years ago, the guy reached for his cell phone and videoed himself having sex with my wife from behind --without her knowing.

 

She says she did not know what to do at the time, and it still bothers her. I told her to keep quiet, as my wife would be mortified is she found out. The guy moved away shortly after, and there is no benefit I can see from bringing this up.

 

My Wife drunkenly agreed to be in an amateur VHS porn movie as a teen-ager (under 18) and lived in dread that the video would surface. This is way off limits for her. Everyone has a cell phone now.

 

Look out

 

I'll post this link for relevancy

 

Now suppose I didn't tell my wife about "this man" with a camera ? After all, she didn't see him... he was behind her. In fact, the woman I was with, didn't notice either. I guess according to all who disagree with my "honesty first" opinion, I should have told the woman I was with to sit back down, what Mrsfun doesn't know, wont hurt ? In time, it wont matter ? I'm glad I'm not like that.....

 

FWIW :This camera guy actually showed up about three years later at a different club.

 

My point is, we have had a great time swinging, being honest with each other. I/we have no reasons good enough, to withhold any information. I cant imagine talking with a female playmate/ long term friend, who this bothers so much... Then stifling her, because I deem what information Mrsfun is privileged to know ?

 

No, instead I would rather tell my female friend you have told me this and I will defend your reasons to not tell at this point. But when you told me, I will tell my wife now.

 

Mrsfun trusts me and the women I play with for a reason, no tidbits of information are withheld.

 

MrDevil, its your choice to tell or not. I have been with my partner a very long time and I can assure you, if you have a social life at all people from the past do return sometimes. I wouldn't want to be standing in your shoes if he does return. How will you handle it then ? Will you wink and say "shhhhhh" she doesn't know ? Will you hope its not brought up ?

 

What if your female friend "someday" wants to clear the air ? She tells your wife she wanted to tell you and you told her Not to do so.

 

Can ya smell what your steping in here ?

 

What if your wife finds out your the Devil here on the Swingers Board and reads your opinion of what she gets to know, and doesn't know ? I wont have to defend myself as to why she doesn't have the right to know, you will.....

 

I have had the best time of my life swinging. I cant imagine it being so great, withholding any information from my partner. The good, the bad, and the ugly, are all allot easier with.... honesty as the foundation.

 

Cameras are abound these days and I can appreciate your warning me to "look out" But, as a happy swinging husband I can say, if withholding information from your wife is justified for any reasons, its at your own expence.... Look out. Should she find out, you will be questioned on just what else have you decided NOT to tell.....

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I have to completely disagree with the above opinions.

Fair enough, we can agree to dissagree

 

Odds are she won't ever know and it was from behind.

Well lets see here, your saying its not important that Mr Devil's wife knows, his female friend doesent have her back ? Sit at that table very long and I think MrsDevil might have a difference of opinion, at least the women I have met might be a little pissed over this. Most I know, like to know....

 

Even if it is on the internet (and btw with so much high quality free porn out there crappy phone video isn't going to go far).

I think it minor that a crappy fuck shot is on the net, I agree. Whats more important is : Trusting ones partner to at least tell something that is being discussed behind their wifes back !

 

If she knows she will be angry and constantly think about it, who's seeing it etc, and be completely powerless to do anything about it.

 

She may even laugh about it now, (who knows) but doesent she have the right to know, in order to make that decision ?

 

What does she gain by telling her?

 

Ohh, I dont know.... Trust ?

[Chicup 41]

Ohh, I dont know.... Trust ?

 

Trust isn't just about honesty. Sometimes is trust to understand the situation and realizing that the best way to keep someone happy is NOT telling them something. She trusts your judgment in not telling her. She would trust you to understand her personality. Some women may well laugh it off, some might be mortified and deeply disturbed. If she is of the former you tell her, if she is of the latter are you a good husband for bringing out those feelings on something that happened so long ago?

 

It reminds me slightly of when someone had an affair 10 years ago in a marriage and then wants to be 'honest' and tells their spouse. Now the motivation is different, I think in the affairs case its more of a selfish act, but the effect could be the same. Honesty at the expense of happiness.

[jhitch82 45]

i went to my first party today. the moderator told me this happened at a party a few weeks ago and the "bouncer" that he had at the party snatched the phone and broke it hahaha. idiot is lucky he didnt get his face broken

[Guest mysticon]

Something I'd consider if I was in the same situation: How well did you and your wife know and trust this guy? If I was in the same situation, if I could trust the person to keep it to themselves, and not put it online or show it to others; then I wouldn't say anything- as others have said- don't want to upset her over something she can't do anything about now. If I had any thoughts that the person wouldn't keep it to themselves, then I would say something. You never know once someone says something, or shows it to others; how many people it will get around to.