Hubby only wants to watch me...anyone else experience this?

[Guest Unregistered]

Hi,

 

We have been married for 10 yrs now and started talking about the lifestyle few months back. Had several good and not so good discussions. I(wife) was reluctant initially but convinced my logical mind that we will be trying this to add to our existing so loving relationship. Also we went to an on-premise club which kinda added spark to this whole topic(we only watched, didn't play). Anyway to make story short, we have been with 2 couples so far(soft first two times and full the next) Hubby didn't enjoy soft as much as sex is very mental to him and switching partners in between kinda threw him off. so we decided to try full swap. But this time(and also last two times) he at once felt that he enjoys it so much more to watch me with another man BUT Just doesn't feel the urge at all to play with the other woman. We are both baffled at this. This was an all time desire of his to experience different body types and see me enjoy sex completely. Both times it had been very attractive woman and his types that if he sees in public, he'll be drooling to say the least :-)

 

He feels that at that time he likes the kissing and touching part, but after that he just can not feel it. Afterwards, we both had such amazing connections between us, all he wants to have is enjoy with me. For sure he is not jealous at all as he completely enjoys watching me.

 

Anyone else had a similar experience or can share their thoughts on this?

[dodgechevy 149]

We have seen this only once before in our 5 years of being in the lifestyle. And the couple seemed to be just as happy as any one else, pretty much the husband was just soft swap, while she full swapped while he watched.

 

All in all, if you guys both enjoy and are comfortable with this situation more power to you!

 

Funny how the other way (husband swaps while wife doesn't) happens all too often.

[2lovers 87]

Hi

My husband feels the same way. He's rather sitting there watching me enjoy with another male , and who am I to complain

[suite91 15]

Count me as one who loves to watch his wife with another man.

 

I have no idea what about it is so captivating for me. All of my fantasies revolve around my wife being pleasured my someone.

 

I still enjoy my time with other women but if it were over tomorrow I wouldn't miss it.

[Guest sexyannie]

This has been our situation for the last six years, and it has been working pretty well. I was a little surprised when my husband first started suggesting it, especially given his jealousy about previous cheating on my part (before we were married). If you are okay with it, and he is okay with it, I say enjoy it

 

annie

[TNT 1,155]

Sometimes our kinks are just that, our kinks. No need to try and understand them, just enjoy them.

 

One of Ted's biggest kinks is watching me with another man. It's one of the reasons that we mainly play with single men...well, that and one of my main kinks is I like two men at once . Although Ted enjoys playing with other women, and I enjoy watching him do so (not to mention I enjoy playing with them also), one of his main interests is me with another man, which just feeds my desire to indulge him in said kink.

 

You will find that as you venture more into swinging you'll find those things that just really does it for you and your spouse/SO. You can either spend your time trying to understand why, or you can spend your time indulging in them and having fun.

 

We decided a long time ago not to waste our time on trying to find enlightenment and understanding of those things we get off on and instead just to enjoy them.

 

 

Teresa

[JustNTerested 15]

If this needs to be moved to another thread, please feel free.

 

Let me reply with a story, if I may. I started talking to my wife about this lifestyle about 6 months ago. During this time, she thought all I wanted was a 3-some however, I told her that I wanted to watch her with another man and if I could join in, then that was icing on the cake. She had a hard time comprehending my feelings on this and started playing with the idea. A year ago, she had weight loss surgery and has done extremely well with it and she has also had some PS to boot. With this, she has become more comfortable with herself and her appearance which in turn, has made her a tiger in the bedroom. She finally agreed as I was somewhat pushy so she started putting feelers out. We have found a single male that we both know. She started playing by texting and calling and one thing has led to another. She wanted to have "one on one" time to get to know him and be comfortable with him and the idea in which I agreed. The other night, it happened. I told her that when he came over, I think I'd just watch. When he got here, she was dressed in some new lingerie and her high heels. She was ready. We agreed that I would stay in the bedroom while they got started and I would just walk in after giving them about 5 minutes. Well, I've always been a good keeper of time with my internal clock but 5 minutes went by in about 2 minutes. I had nothing on but my loose fitting shorts so I walk down the hall and my heart starts beating 200 beats a minute. I hear them kissing. God, was this a turn on and then I SEEN them. She already had his shirt off and there she was standing with her lingerie and heels on and he with just his shorts. She was really getting into the kissing as was he. I walked by them never taking my eyes off my wife. I sat down on the couch and just watched with no intentions of joining in. I just wanted to watch my wife enjoy this and hoping that he did as well since it was his first time being watched and being with a married woman. The kissing was intense and turned me on to no end. This went on for what seemed to be 30 minutes but in fact was only about 5 or 10. I had to go to the bathroom to pee but was only gone for a minute when I returned, she had him naked and on the couch and was performing oral sex on him. Oh my god was this freaking hot as hell. My wife was giving him pleasure right in front of my eyes. They went back and forth and after he got her outfit off, he went down on her as well then the intercourse. I could not believe I was watching my wife having sex with another man. At some point during this, she got up and come over to me and took my shorts off and started on me while he did her from behind. This went on for about another 30 minutes or so after we ended up in the bedroom. After he had finished inside her, I stepped in and while it was my wife, I have never had sex in front of anyone. She prompted him back on the bed and performed oral on him again until completion while she and I had sex.

 

After we talked and he left, my wife and I talked about it and got feedback from each other. Not that any of it was bad, I had to say that just me watching her and him did more for me than anything else combined. Does that make sense? Maybe, Maybe not. I'm ready to watch them again.

[JDApopka 54]

you're not alone, I too love to watch my wife with other men.

[willyoats 324]

We knew two couples where the guy would just watch. One of them did the gang bang scene every time they were at our club. She did 10 to 25 guys while he just sat in the corner and played with himself (and sort of directed who was to be next on her). They must have had sex at least once, because she was pregnant when we first met them. I assume it was his.

 

The other couple always took one guy at a time to do the wife while hubby sat quietly in the corner masturbating. I don't think he ever had sex with her after she finished with their playmate, but I am not really sure about that.

 

As for my wife and me, I like to see her with another man. We do MFM about a third of the time, but I always have intercourse with my wife after the other guy is finished. I don't really know what the fascination is with watching her get banged by another guy. Is it the pleaure she gets from it? Is it the idea that I can look the other guy in the eye after we are done and brag (silently) that she's going home with me, Buddy, not you! Is it a piece of the Madonna/whore complex that I used to suffer from. After the first time she banged another guy, I put that albatross to bed (pun intended).

 

Essentially, we have decided that it is not important to understand; just enjoy it.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

I think what you say makes a lot of sense. For some men, myself included, making love is a very intimate act. It takes time to become comfortable enough with another woman to ever approach what it feels like with your wife. Loving you, his wife, as he does, watching your enjoymen of sex is an amazing experience. Enjoying sex with you while another man does is so very erotic for him.

 

When it is a threesome, all his attention can go to your enjoyment. With another woman there, his attention is diverted and it does not have the same intimacy or comfort level for him as it does with only you and the other guy.

 

It shows that your husband is very in love with you and very aroused by you. Watching you have such pleasure with another man increases his own. It's such a win/win situation! Enjoy that he enjoys it and enjoys your enjoyment. It heightens the arousal between yourselves, so it enhances what you already have. Just because not everyone enjoys the same thing has nothing to do with what you two enjoy.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My ex could never get into playing with other women. He wanted to and it really frustrated him but whenever we would swap he would be more interested in watching me with the other guy than in playing with the female (leaving her feeling, well...left).

 

I also have some other friends where he never plays, just watches her and he loves it. So it's not that uncommon. I think the hard part is just learning what you really both want and like and going with it, rather than fighting it. If he's like my ex and really wants to be with other women (and allow you to be with other men) then you may end up needing to opt for separate room play to allow you both to play freely without the distraction.

[Rivertour 51]

I love the thoughts, smells, and the feel when I am with another woman, but nothing compares to how turned on I am watching my wife.

 

Not sure when it started or why, as we have always been very active and sexual with just each other for the most part. The times where others were involved was always such a major turn on that I wanted to swing throughout our whole relationship.

 

Now that we are very active in the lifestyle instead of sporatic, I am excited and happy to be with another woman, but my erections are no where near what they are with my wife. Her moans and movements are something I've enjoyed for over 30 years, so seeing another man enjoying her is about as good as it gets...I usually say, "yes she is incredible isn't she".

 

Our best play time other than when I watch her with another man, is when we have sex afterwards and discuss the whole encounter. So maybe it is more than just the thoughts smell and feel it may be the sounds that are most erotic.

[Guest erotichugs]

watching her enjoy herself with another guy just drives me crazy.. if i am busy with another woman at the same time.. i cannot enjoy watching her..:-)

simple as that!! i just want to concentrate on each moan she makes.. and each muscle stiffing..

when she is having an Orgasm.. i get the biggest smile possible :-)

so I cant wait the next time she enjoys herself while I watch

[couple4couple 16]

This is a fantasy of mine, as the female part of us. I think it would be really hot for him to watch me with another man. However, we're just not ready for it yet. He wants to be playing! So maybe in the future...

[Randies' 16]

Major fantasy of mine (mr. randi) and he needs to be longer than me...

[Guest erotichugs]

Major fantasy of mine (mr. randi) and he needs to be longer than me...

 

in my case he has to be BIGGER than me..(I am average) Rose like THICK and goes crazy with a HARD THICK ONE ... and I love watching her enjoy.. :-)

she really does not like LONGER as such..

[bbarnsworth 2,643]

in my case he has to be BIGGER than me..(I am average) Rose like THICK and goes crazy with a HARD THICK ONE ... and I love watching her enjoy.. :-)

she really does not like LONGER as such..

 

I'm apparently in the top 10% in thickness (never knew until recently). But, a fantasy of mine is to see my wife with a guy who is enormously thick - barely thin enough for her to take without pain, just pleasure.

 

My wife, with a silly grin on her face, has said she would be quite happy to fulfill this fantasy of mine

[couple4couple 16]

bbarnsworth said:

I'm apparently in the top 10% in thickness (never knew until recently).

 

I'm dying of curiosity, how thick are you? I think my hubby might be in that 10% club too!

[Guest erotichugs]

couple4couple said:

I'm dying of curiosity, how thick are you? I think my hubby might be in that 10% club too!

 

Average Penis Girth Calculator - How do you compare

[couple4couple 16]

erotichugs said:

Average Penis Girth Calculator - How do you compare

 

Thanks for sharing that! I never knew a penis calculator existed! So, good to know, my hubby is definitely in that club He's pretty thick!

[Guest erotichugs]

Thanks for sharing that! I never knew a penis calculator existed! So, good to know, my hubby is definitely in that club He's pretty thick!

 

everything exists! and i wish a TOP 10% existed near where we are!! :-)

[bbarnsworth 2,643]

I'm dying of curiosity, how thick are you? I think my hubby might be in that 10% club too!

 

Nix

 

Have a look at this and note that I'm 5.5" in girth when fully erect. I can't fit inside a toilet paper tube. I'm average length, and thought I was average girth. It wasn't until I got into the lifestyle that I learned otherwise. None of the men my wife has been with has been thicker than I am, and only one was approximately the same thickness. Another posting here got me curious and I measured for the first time ~a year ago.

 

I still don't think of myself as "thick". Hard for me to wrap my head around that. My wife and I were perusing a book store a couple of years back and found a coffee table type book with lots of pictures of extremely well hung men. Ah, here's the book. Seeing that book, I'm quite confident that there are men considerably larger than I. So, to think of myself as "thick" seems wrong.

[couple4couple 16]

Thanks for sharing that! We never even thought about measuring it until now. And...wow. He's not very long, but he's definitely up in the top percent for girth! That book sounds super sexy! It's already in my Amazon cart, lol!

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I truly love being with other women, but not as much as seeing her enjoy being with another man. Her sounds, facial expressions, the movement of her body truly turns me one. We have been in threesomes where I move in and out of play just so I can watch her. It is a vantage point I cannot get when I make love to her. Standing back and watching her is exhilarating. I love it.

 

That said, I cant imagine doing just that and not playing. I love to pleasure and be pleasured as well. It is more difficult to share her pleasure in a foursome becuase I pay attention to who I am with. This is one of the topics of discussion we often have. We like same rooms because we get to enjoy seeing the other be pleasured, but it is easy to get distracted and not focus on your partner. We like separate rooms because we can focus on our partner, but then we loose the ability to see each other have fun.

 

It is funny, the stereotype of men is that they finish their business and roll over and go to sleep, not caring if the woman is pleased or not. Most of the men we have met in the lifestyle are right the opposite. Maybe that is because the lifestyle is about sharing not selfishness. If you are selfish, I can't imagine you would have much luck in the lifestyle, let alone share your spouse with someone else.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

erotichugs said:

Average Penis Girth Calculator - How do you compare

 

I love that link. I feel more manly already. lol.

[ItTakes3 19]

We have never found a couple that turned us both on, or the converse...that we turned them on. That means individual play, or none at all. Well, we are both comfortable with the idea that she can play with anyone she wants, as long as I have veto power, and I have yet to use a veto, so it works well for us.

 

I've found that I'm more turned on by watching her enjoy herself with another man than I am trying to satisfy my sexual urges, while doing my best to satisfy the desires of a woman I don't know very well, if at all. In a brothel, at least both parties know that the satisfaction is focused on the customer and there is no need for him to be concerned about her.

 

I recently had the opportunity to bed a woman I had just met, in a one-on-one situation, and I was terribly disappointed, as I'm sure she was too. I had always said there was no such thing as bad sex, but I discovered that was a mistaken notion. I still get chills thinking about it!

 

As long as my wife enjoys the role of a hotwife, and as long as I enjoy seeing the excitement and long-lasting afterglow it brings her, I'm content to just hear her relate the details, and occasionally get to witness it first hand, or engage in a MFM threesome...as I did last night.

 

Perhaps someday we will meet a couple that is a good match, or maybe we will each find a regular FB, but in the meantime we will muddle along as we have been doing for quite some time.

 

FWIW...the calculator reslults...I'm in the top 24% for length and smack dab on average for girth. My wife said that if she can find a guy in the top 10% for girth and top 24% for length, she will have found her steady FB. She has had a 10-incher, but he was only slightly above average in girth, and didn't quite satisfy her curiosity to experience a really thick one.

[vep050176 16]

I too, love to watch my wife with another man. I agree with one of the other posts, sometimes it's just too difficult to connect with another couple so everyone is happy. I have been watching her for a few years now. Although sometimes we strike out trying to find single guys (she will only play out of town) we have had some great times. There is nothing more exciting than hiding in our hotel room after we met a single guy, and he thinks I'm still downstairs, and watching the two of them going crazy. Can't explain it.

[manaredmagee48 15]

My husband too likes to watch me and it has been 90% of nothing but fun. You will always have those times when it doesn't turn out like you planned. We have tried some other things like full swap, but for now this is what works the best and we are both comfortable with it and are having a good time with it. If you are not comfortable with it don't do it! But if you do like it and obviously he does than go for it and have a good time. R.

[mandlori 16]

When we started swinging, my thought was that I only wanted my wife to do it and I had no interest in doing it myself. She resisted for awhile thinking it was just my way to get into another lady's pants - once she did it I would be saying that she had her turn, now I can have mine. She finally decided to do it, had a great time, and my watching her exceeded my fantasies. Of course I joined in to - nothing like getting a BJ while she is getting it doggie style. After a couple years she decided that I should be playing more and we should bring couples into our lifestyle. First, let me say that it is much harder to find a couple where both pairs find an attraction than to find a single male. We have talked with each other about this and discovered each of us has taken one for the team (maybe multiple times) in order for the other to have a good time. But the bottom line is that unless my wife has had a good time, I haven't had a good time, and for the last 3 swinging years she has done it at least 5 times for every one time I have done it, and I prefer it that way.

[luckycple 17]

I love wtching her have sex with a man, a woman, both, her masturbating by herself, and she enjoys being watched, we always end it with an orgasm together

[Powerglide 235]

Thanks for the link to Amazon. There was an absolutely hilarious user review of this book there:

 

671 of 771 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!, July 12, 2008

By Jack Robert Fixx ""I'll give you somethin... (Earth) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Big Penis Book (Hardcover)

Oh dear. I am a 70 year old woman and I just happened across this big penis book in my son's room. My son is 45 years old and still single. I think he might be gay. That said, his big penis book is now in my room under my bed. So now my 45 year old single son is probably gay and angry. Well, he should get a job anyway or at least go find some real penis and stop reading about them in books like this. Good Lord this is a big penis book. And I love a big penis. And so does my son, apparently. I give this book ten thumbs up. I can't believe I never knew he was gay. He should get a job. Maybe as a dancer. Anyway, if you like a big penis, you will like this big penis book. Lord there are big penis's in this book. I mean big. Oh dear.

 

 

I realize that there's another thread for funny stuff, but the reference was here.

[JandT_Elkhart 76]

I enjoy everything about the swinging thing, but mostly enjoy watching her. I still enjoy being with the other women, but not nearly as much as watching her.

[Pleasure King 16]

Well if you're a man and relatively new to the lifestyle unless you're a good socializer who can easily create a sexual need in other women watching your wife/girlfriend may be the sum total of your swinging experience. Until you figure out why you're the odd man out when the action starts swinging will be a less than fulfilling experience for you.

[Cajun2Step 65]

Watching my lady is a major turn on when she orgasms.

Don't knock it if you have not tried it.

It is awesome to hear her cum with a FB.

[joaninla 162]

My husband has told me (repeatedly), and I believe him, that his absolute favorite thing is to watch me with another guy. It is very erotic for all of us.

[Hellsgate 15]

I like the fantasy of watching during a "sperm competition" for my s.o.'s egg during her fertile time in addition to seeing/listening to her climax hard + frequently.