Sex and Racism... is this?

[Trace Ekies 186]

Questions:

 

If a white woman does not have sex with black men because they are black is that racism?

 

If a white man wants to have sex with a black woman because she is black is that racism?

 

Don't read anything into the questions...answer them at face value.

[Alura 2,774]

Years ago in Germany I met a Black Man/White Woman couple who had been married for some years and had three children.

 

She admitted she was prejudiced against white men because she had always been attracted to black men only. She claimed to have never had sex with a white man although there were "quite a few" black guys who "have tasted me."

 

"White men just don't do it for me," she said.

 

I think we were dealing with taste there. Like many of life's decisions, I think she had a right to her choice.

[VegasLee 1,486]

I see no reason to try to turn personal preferences into a racism issue.

 

I know that is the PC thing to do in America today but is not needed.

 

I don't like eating frogs legs but that does not mean I hate the French.

 

Now, after stating all that. There are just some people that are racists and that is the facts of life.

[lardub 170]

I don't believe it to be racism only preference...

 

I really enjoy and will seek out women who have small breasts, it is what does it for me, nothing against large breasted women, small is what I'm attracted to..

 

The Mrs will veto a play date over hairy men, because they do nothing for her, she finds it unattractive, she makes me shave lol. She will also not play with a male with a large belly (Beer Belly)...

 

It comes down to what you are attracted to, and nothing is more unattractive than someone playing a race card when that is not the case, we have witnessed it in a club and believe that the reason they were told that play wasn't happening was attitude and the way that person was conducting themselves, nothing more, nothing less, but they decided to make a scene over it...

[Chicup 41]

Racism is when you won't have sex with me because of my race.

 

Choice is when I don't have sex with you because of yours.

[AskMeOk 148]

Chicup, you are beating a dead horse.

 

When one makes a decision based solely on race, that is a racially motivated decision. Racism.

 

Having grown up in the south and heard all of the rationales for racism when I was a kid... I've heard it all before.

 

It is merely personal preference to enforce white only bathrooms, restaurants, movie theaters, schools, neighborhoods, etc. After all I prefer to only be around white people, just my preference..... and I don't see any need for anybody to turn what is merely a personal preference issue into racism.

 

Of course, there were a lot of black folks that had a personal preference to not have anything to do with white bathrooms, restaurants, movie theaters, schools, neighborhoods, etc., too.....

 

I prefer some folks over others, too, and personal preference is reasonable and desirable. However, when preference is drawn exclusive down the lines of race, that isn't personal preference, it is racism.

 

IME, you will probably never convince a "personal preference" person anything to the contrary....

[willyoats 324]

There is a difference between preferring blacks because of their race and preferring blacks because of their culture. My wife like to make love with black guys because they are more likely to be more sensual and earthy than whites. That's a strictly cultural characteristic. Her observation is based on several experiences.

 

My daughter's college room mate started dating black guys. She related the common "wisdom" among her friends that "once you go black, you never go back."

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

IME, you will probably never convince a "personal preference" person anything to the contrary....

 

Conversely, you will probably never convince a "racism everywhere" person that any choice that excludes them is not racist.

 

Take redheads for example. I have a thing for redheads, I can't explain why, I just think they are hot. Generally, true redheads have fair complexions, which I like, but, I have met a few that were so ghostly white that I was not attracted to them regardless of hair color. Unfortunately, to date I have never had sex with a redhead. Does that make me a racist against the ultra white or is it just a preference?

 

In was an athlete in college. It is easy to get laid as a "jock." There were always girls, of every color and description, hanging out at the dorms (back then athletes had separate dorms) ready to go at it. The girls flirt and jocks talk, so you got to know most of them very well.

 

One girl in particular I could never figure out. She was white and had sex with more black athletes than white by a fair margin. I also, knew her from classes we had together. She would always deny liking black guys, never associated with black people and, while not derogatory, never had a good thing to say about blacks.

 

What was even more strange was we all knew this, but most of the black athletes would still have sex with her because she was smoking hot. "She may be a racist, but she is hot" was something I heard more than once. That one has racial connotations all over it that I have never figured out.

 

If you think about preference on a sliding scale we all have different levels of preference based on race, hair color, body type and any other characteristic you can think of. Even with in my race I have different levels of preference, or turn-ons, based on characteristics.

 

In our profile we are both listed as straight, but there is a very small number of women my wife finds attractive enough to want to play with, it's just very very low on her preference scale. I am straight and don't want to play with guys, that does not mean I hate bi's or gays, it is just not my thing. We list no single guys, but on occasion we entertain single guys. We don't mention racial preferences at all, but so far have not met any black or mixed couples we are attracted to, but it doesn't mean we won't. Is that racism? When contacted, we decide if we are interested, if not we have just responded we are not attracted/interested in them, if they take that as racism, it their issue not ours.

 

In the end racism is always a preference, but preference is not always racism.

[slevin 1,374]

There is some science out there around facial cues to attraction. Not the old adage about symmetry being universally attractive though. It is about certain genetic cues about who we are more prone to be attracted to. In general, women I am the most attracted to will have some basic facial similarities. Regardless of race. So in general I'm not attracted to black women, but the few that I am attracted to will likely have some facial similarity to other women I am attracted to (of other races; white, Asian, Indian etc.)

 

That is what I would refer to as a preference.

 

This doesn't do a good enough job explaining the science, but it's better than nothing

 

google Science of Sex Appeal Videos : Attraction : Discovery Channel

[Chicup 41]

slevin said:

There is some science out there around facial cues to attraction. Not the old adage about symmetry being universally attractive though. It is about certain genetic cues about who we are more prone to be attracted to. In general, women I am the most attracted to will have some basic facial similarities. Regardless of race. So in general I'm not attracted to black women, but the few that I am attracted to will likely have some facial similarity to other women I am attracted to (of other races; white, Asian, Indian etc.)

 

That is what I would refer to as a preference.

 

 

In a nut shell most people are most attracted to a certain characteristics that are like them but not TOO like them. There are even links with IHC (immunohistocompatibility) markers. Basically we can 'smell' how genetically alike we are and if its too alike or too foreign we don't find them attractive.

[Pensacolapair 394]

Trace Ekies said:

Questions:

 

If a white woman does not have sex with black men because they are black is that racism?

 

If a white man wants to have sex with a black woman because she is black is that racism?

 

Don't read anything into the questions...answer them at face value.

 

Okay - I'll bite. IMO..yes to both. Not reading into the questions and going on face value (using just what info is provided):

 

"If a white woman does not have sex with black men because they are black is that racism?" In this case, the fact that the man is black is the only reason he is excluded from consideration. Nothing else is even put in the equation. If it were a pictureless profile that had no other info than "I am a black male", she has all the info she needs to eliminate him from consideration. He could in fact look like Hugh Jackman with a good tan - she could care less because he checks that block on the census that says 'black'.

 

"If a white man wants to have sex with a black woman because she is black is that racism?" Again - The only reason he wants to have sex with her is because she is black. If it's a pictureless profile that had no other info other than "I am a black woman", she has his attention. She could in fact look like Rosie O'Donnell with a good tan and he'll still consider her.

 

Both meet the criteria for 'racist' - Exclusion or inclusion based on race alone.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

This subject pops up at this bulletin board the way what that moles pop up in a Whack-a-Mole game at an amusement park. I'm tired of it. There are bigots and there are bigots. So what is the big deal?

 

Some stereotypes have a basis in fact. Some do not. How to distinguish? Nobody knows. Maybe a thousands years from now, everybody's genes are going to be so mixed up that nobody will be able to tell their brother from the man on the moon. Somebody will still be able to find a reason that he or she is superior. So what? Who need it?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I thought I was going to get Rick Rolled!

 

Damn, that would have been beautiful!

[Trace Ekies 186]

Chicup,

 

I went and put on another hat so that I can take off two hats as I bow to your "tie-in"...couldn't be better...unless, of course, if I'd found it.

 

Trace

[Alura 2,774]

I thought I was going to get Rick Rolled!

 

I think y'all often forget that I'm just a hick Okie. Anyone care to explain this?

 

Alura

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The definition of Racism (according to Dictionary.com)

 

1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.

2.

a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.

3.

hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

 

 

Based on the above, I'd answer No to both of your scenarios. Based on my own thoughts, I'd still answer No to both of your scenarios... they aren't racism they are sexual preference. I've had plenty of guys want to have sex with me because they think I'm hot or because I have big boobs or because I have red hair, there's really no difference.

 

I've also not been interested in having sex with plenty of guys because their dick was too small, too large, their belly was too large, they were an asshat, etc and that's sexual preference just the same as the above scenario.

 

Now, if someone not only isn't interested in having sex with someone because of their color AND they also have a set statement that they don't want anything to do with them or that they think that that person is less than them because of their color, then yes it's racism.

[it'sso 198]

Racism is just a word that was concocted by liberals in order to even the playing field for those who ARE or FEEL they are disadvantaged in some way.

 

A good example might be for one group of people to offer a religious dogma insisting that their "race" is "god's" chosen children and, thus privileged in some way to live their lives without showing consideration of other less "fortunate" "races".

 

In order to see the analogy, one has to examine how such a group of "chosen people" would be dismayed that those left out by their yarn might not find them to be of their liking.

 

If you don't want to bed down with somebody, it doesn't MATTER why you reject them. Just find somebody more to your suiting.

[Alura 2,774]

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, "Racism" (or more properly, "Racialism") comes from the Middle English word "ra(a)s" meaning "The notion that one's own ethnic stock is superior." I don't think the "liberals" concocted it. The word is way older than they are.

 

I do think it can be applied to the killing of 40 to 50 million Native Americans during the Four Hundred Years War, but it may or may not be applied to people who base their choice of sexual partners on race alone. It depends on their reasons for making the choice.

 

Anyway, let's be careful here folks. This thread is approaching politics and we don't want that, do we?

 

Alura

[shy_couple 459]

This thread (and several very similar ones) have kept the board buzzing over the past few months. See "Finding People On-line" section and dealing with racism thread started back in May of this year. We weighed in several times. For us it boils down to to attraction.

 

We choose our play partners based on what makes us hot. We choose our friends based on their character.