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hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically thoughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life.

 

i have many friends, straight girl friends that are friends of my children's friends, that kind of thing.

 

lately, i've been entertaining the idea of singles groups and even mentioned to my girlfriends that i'm on the market again, jokingly, but they actually came up with people for me to date.

 

the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not.

 

i know there's lots of single guys that are into swinging, but to be honest, this makes me nervous, just meeting random swinger guys. does anyone have any suggestions?

 

on my last post, i got some great suggestions to call a club ahead of time and the host couple can introduce me around. so maybe i'll meet someone, or make some friends this way. i can't force it to happen. thanks forreading.

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Jodi,

 

I don't know where you are in NJ, but, you might be able to apply this to your area. There is a club in Gettysburg, PA, The Cottage, that is a great club. They do allow select single males on Friday nights. I have met several single gentlemen there that are great guys. Of course, also we met some not so great guys there.

 

Maybe you can take a look at a local club where you can actually meet some real people in a controlled environment.

 

S

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hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically thoughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life.

 

i have many friends, straight girl friends that are friends of my children's friends, that kind of thing.

 

lately, i've been entertaining the idea of singles groups and even mentioned to my girlfriends that i'm on the market again, jokingly, but they actually came up with people for me to date.

 

the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not.

 

i know there's lots of single guys that are into swinging, but to be honest, this makes me nervous, just meeting random swinger guys. does anyone have any suggestions?

 

on my last post, i got some great suggestions to call a club ahead of time and the host couple can introduce me around. so maybe i'll meet someone, or make some friends this way. i can't force it to happen. thanks forreading.

 

As a single man, all I can say is approach this as meeting a single man who just happens to swing. If you were an avid camper, biker, skydiver, rodeo clown, professional wrester and wanted to meet someone to do these things with, you would look at the person first and the activity second. As long as you are smart you can find a single male swing partner without being afraid of the stalkers, clingers, and players. Single men who swing are just like single men who don't swing. Some are good, some are bad, some are arrogant, some are shy, etc. Just don't get it into your head that all single guys who swing have something wrong with them and you usually won't meet the ones who have something wrong with them.

 

good luck.

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look at the person first and the activity second. As long as you are smart you can find a single male swing partner without being afraid of the stalkers, clingers, and players. Single men who swing are just like single men who don't swing. Some are good, some are bad, some are arrogant, some are shy, etc.

 

Very well put! :D

 

I think everyone has a variation of the same issue and the only answer is that unfortunately you will just have to keep trying until you find the few that you click with.

 

If you can't find a club then try to find organizers for a local social or house party and try to meet a few people who can make your transition smoother.

 

Good luck.

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Hi Jodi,

You said, "hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically throughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life."

---------------------------

We happen to know a single very nice guy who recently told us almost the exact statement. Only difference was he has never been involved in the lifestyle.

-------------------------------

To continue from your words: "the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not."

-------------------------------

His quote word for word except take out your word guy, and insert his word lady.

-------------------------------

 

There are nice gentlemen out there who would love to find you. If you have been in the lifestyle off and on during your last 18 years, we would suggest that you might start with those friends assuming there would be no drama with them and your ex's. Others might tell you to begin your search online, but our words of wisdom would be extremely careful what you post about yourself and on which websites or other forums you search. The world is full of real nice people with a sprinkling of some not so nice mixed in.

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Hi Jodi... I happen to live in MA, not very far from NJ. I read your post and the responses. I agree with all the advice you have been given here. BUT, don't give up looking on the Northern East Coast yet...LOL I have not been involved with the lifestyle as yet, but, would love to meet you sometime, just to discuss it. Would love to hear the "single" Lady's side of things.

 

Jst

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I am guessing you are in your mid to late forties. As a single female in the LS you should have no problem making friends with couples. Get to know a few of them you like, develop a trust with them and let them know you are looking for a single male to play with on occasion. I am sure they will be able to give you some good advice on who to avoid and who is a good person. The swinger community, around here anyway, is tight nit and looks after each other.

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Jodi started her thread four months ago.

 

I hope she comes back to update us on what has been happening in her life.

 

LM

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hi, thanks for all of your replies. glad that i'm in a poly relationship now & it's going well. so, i'm feeling more comfortable approaching things as a single female ...but, lol, sometimes my couple is there w/ me...we'v been to a club a few times & hv met some people. talk soon.

 

jodi

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Question to everyone:

When a lady and gentleman in this situation meet and intend to be "swinging buddies" for a while, would the men be expected to pay for club fees and other expenses?

Just curious on your perspective, because I am a recently divorced male and am looking for a partner to re-explore the scene with. Better to get a reading of what is considered proper...

 

Thanks a lot

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Question to everyone:

When a lady and gentleman in this situation meet and intend to be "swinging buddies" for a while, would the men be expected to pay for club fees and other expenses?

Just curious on your perspective, because I am a recently divorced male and am looking for a partner to re-explore the scene with. Better to get a reading of what is considered proper...

 

Thanks a lot

 

Considering MOST clubs allow single females in free or at drastically reduced rates wheras single males are either never allowed or have to pay double the rates, it would stand to reason you should foot the bill.

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olderyder said:
What ever happened to Equal Rights for Women? Since they are both single, shouldn't they go "Dutch"?

 

For some reason, I am liking this a little better. I don't know why though...

 

:cool:

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IF I was a single swinging gal...

 

 

If I asked a single swinger guy to go out with me, I'd pay the way.

 

If the single swinger guy asked me to go out, he'd pay the way.

 

LM

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IF I was a single swinging gal...

 

 

If I asked a single swinger guy to go out with me, I'd pay the way.

 

If the single swinger guy asked me to go out, he'd pay the way.

 

LM

 

Sounds fair

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I think that "Equal Rights" doesn't apply when dating, whether in the LS, or not. Even if I am asked out by a lady, I still make an honest effort to pick up the tab, if she insists, at least I have tried. I may be "old-fashioned", but I still strongly believe in "chivalry", which includes respecting my date, being a gentleman, and opening the car/building doors.

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Question to everyone:

When a lady and gentleman in this situation meet and intend to be "swinging buddies" for a while, would the men be expected to pay for club fees and other expenses?

Just curious on your perspective, because I am a recently divorced male and am looking for a partner to re-explore the scene with. Better to get a reading of what is considered proper...

 

Thanks a lot

 

I can only speak for myself but when I go to a party with my BF I expect him to pay the party fee. My thought is that if he went as a single male (assuming it is a party that even allows single males) it would cost him a lot more. That said, if we go out to dinner I often pick up the tab and we usually split the hotel bill if we stay somewhere overnight. I don't expect anyone to pay my way just because I am a woman.

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      She said, "Ok, I get it, but I hope this is coming to the end of it."  I then had her call John and had her say the following to him, "I hear  you have a job opening for me, can you confirm the dress code and expectations that I just heard from my husband."  She listened to his response and said "When do you want me to start?.  And for the next three months she arrived at John's house, always with a sweater on in case she got stopped by a police officer or if something weird happened on her way "to work." And the first thing she did when she got in the house was take her sweater off. 
       
      The very first time she was to go to work she came downstairs and took her sweater off and said, "Does this meet  your approval?"  She was obviously braless, wearing a thin, low cut tank top with low arm holes exposing plenty of side boob, and you could make out the color of her nipples through the top.  I told Sue I couldn't have picked out better work attire and then she went to work. 
       
      During the three months doing this I had to go on a business trip for a few days so I called John and told him to call Sue and ask her out to dinner and make plans to spend some time at his house.  I also told John I wanted "photo proof of him fucking her so I know she went."  This was also going to be a test to see if Sue would be honest about telling me what she was going to do. 
       
      About 30 minutes after talking with John, Sue called me.  She told me that John had asked her out to dinner and wanted to make sure I was ok with that?  She said it felt like she was going "on a date" rather than just being a friend with benefits.  I told her it felt the same way to me, and considering that she pretty much "went on dates" with the previous John without my knowledge, that she now needed to realize that she was about to start dating John WITH my knowledge.  She asked how much longer she needed to go through with this and I told her I hadn't even started to think about that yet because I had been hurt so much. 
       
      So Sue and John had their first "date" while I was away on business.  John sent me an email that included an attachment.  He laughingly wrote: "As you requested, my first date with your wife happened.  I also told her that you asked me to inform her that you wanted her to agree to start "dating me" rather than just me fucking her.  And she agreed to it, so once she's back teaching and can't come over during the summer anymore, she is going to start seeing me for longer periods of time rather than coming over for an hour to fuck each other, we'll grab dinner or take a drive somewhere."
       
      John also told me to watch the attachment as he sent "more than a photo".  I opened the attachment and saw two things: a photo of my wife's face with his cock in her mouth, pressing her cheek from the inside so I could see his cock bump pushing out her cheek. And he also sent me a video that lasted a few minutes of him fucking her.  He told me not to worry, that he'd delete both the photo and video, but I told him I wanted him to keep it so he'd always be able to look back on how they looked fucking each other. 
       
      And that relationship lasted around 15 years.  After fucking John about 10 times Sue told me that she noticed something different and wanted to be honest with me.  I asked her what she was talking about.  She said it felt like John was "fucking" her at times like he was paying for it but other times it was more emotional, it was starting to feel like he was "making love" to her. I told her I guess that would be normal after seeing someone consistently that you liked.  I told her I was ok with that. 
       
      She then said she was starting to feel like she was making love to him at times, that it was emotional for her as well feeling like she was giving her body to someone she cared about as a friend.  She wasn't having any feelings of being in love with him, but she was getting some emotional connection where she wanted to give herself to him when they saw each other.  It turned me on. The frequency of sex got less over the last couple of years but he and I estimated, that not counting the three months she worked for him and they fucked anywhere from 2-4 times a week, that he had fucked her somewhere between 50-100 times. 
       
      And to this day, years later, the thought that she's been fucked so much by the same guy is a turn-on.  We all still remain friends today.  I thought that would be the end of our openess in our marriage but there would be two other men that would enter our lives, both of which got substantial time with my hotwife.  And she wanted it. 
       
      If you'd like to read about it, let me know and I'll write it up.
    • By HornyLesbian/Bisexual
      I'll be 50 this year and recently discovered my sexuality. I want to be able to be more spontaneous and not so inhibited about what I want in bed (and out of bed). I'm actually quite sexual but have largely surpassed that for years because of various reasons. There is a local swingers nudist resort that has day passes and I set it my goal to go to their pool this weekend. 
       
      I'm not sure if I'll have the guts to engage in any acts but if I can manage my anxiety I wouldn't mind playing with a girl. 
       
      Any recommendations for a first timer? Especially going on my own. I think I will be okay taking my top off at the pool but not sure how long it will take me to go completely nude. I'm super excited but also nervous. I want to have fabulous sex, have a better body image and stopping myself because of fear. Open to any and all suggestions, especially with how to manage anxiety and not chicken out
       
      Late Blooming Lesbian/BiSexual wanting to Play
    • By K&JIntimates
      I have single female friend that I've known for the last year and a half. We're pretty comfortable with each other and our kids play together on a regular basis. Over the last year I've had a couple of times when my 'playdar' has given a little bleep with her. Usually by something that she's said or a feeling that there is just something there that I couldn't quite put my finger on. You know what I'm talking about?
       
      Today we went out for coffee and were just talking, usual stuff, and she started talking about wanting to go to an event for a "meet & greet". I haven't been around too much to social events in the vanilla world but I've never heard this term used in any other format than swinging. So I asked her if she'd ever been to a meet and greet before. It might have been the way I said it but her body language and expression was kind of like omg did I say that? She didn't know about K and I and it was a reasonable response.
       
      She's very open minded and our relationship is good so I came out to her that K and I swing and had been to a M&G before. Come to find out that my friend, back in the days before she was married (and subsequently divorced) had led a very 'open' lifestyle. Interesting isn't it? *BEEP* *BEEP*
       
      When I told her that K and I swing and the parameters of our interactions with others she told me she had suspected something of the kind. So I invited her to come out with us some time to the club to enjoy an evening of dancing, a little wine, and (if she met someone she was interested in) a little play. She said she'd like to, just not right now. It's a busy time for everyone and I know that she's got some complications with her ex right now so I left it at an open invite. But that's also why I invited her, a little adult down time is sometimes just what you need.
       
      Her and I both really enjoy and respect our friendship (and that of our boys) and while we briefly discussed the possibility of a play date of the three of us we both decided that it is just that....a possibility. Why screw up a good thing? On the other hand, if our friendship takes a turn in that direction down the road it will (or will not) happen of its own accord.
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