Would you approach me at a club or party?

[Playful1 434]

Ok, this might seem like an odd question, but it really is genuine.

 

I'm a single female. Bisexual, in law school (so i do have a brain) and most people seem to think im very attractive (5'4", 108lbs, 34B-24-35 and currently work as a model). I'm very friendly/talkative in group settings and very laid back, no drama (no, really!). I've been in the scene for 7yrs.

 

Here is my issue. I love playing, and play with a wide variety of people, but no matter how friendly I am people just don't really approach me Once people have played with me once, they have no problem with it. However I want to keep meeting new folks. I talk to them, flirt with, etc. but nothing.

 

I'm talking about on premise events and house parties btw.

 

I don't mind being the aggressor, but I admit, sometimes it would be nice to have someone come after me. My male swinger friends, both single and coupled, say I intimidate people because of my looks, but i have trouble believing that. A) because i dont really think im attractive enough to intimidate people..im not a supermodel or something and B) i have trouble seeing myself as intimidating in any way. Why not just approach, express and interest and go from there? or are people assuming I'll say no?

 

So my question to you is two fold...

 

1) would you approach me (based on the very little i gave here)? Why or why not?

2) if you say no...what could I do to make you approach me?

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Yes, we would approach you if we BOTH found you attractive.

 

But, I can certainly see why some would not. It is not unusual for people to avoid situations where they might get rejected. I think that is true even in the lifestyle. You sound stunning from your description, so I can see that as an issue for some.

 

Other reason I can see:

• Apparently, based on polls on this site, many men are more interested in MFM than FMF. Personally I like em both, but ot each his own.
  
• If the women is not Bi, a Bi female in a FMF might turn them off because they expect you will have more interest in them than their husband. And that is not what they are looking for. I have heard this a few times at parties.
  
• One party in the couple may not want that much competition from a very attractive person. I find it strange that people feel that way, but some people are insecure with their relationship.
  
• SF can be difficult to get to in a party. Generally, someone of your description is surrounded by males and females who are very interested. She clearly can have her pick. Maybe we would be the pick maybe we wouldn't, but since we usually are talking to at least 2-3 couples that have a mutual interest in us at parties, we are quite happy to let the other 19 jockey for position and spend time engaging the couples we are with. But certainly if you were alone or mingling we would approach you.
  
• We have met SF that were really not a match. They were not really into 3somes (interested only in the female half), some were quite arrogant (they held the cards and knew it, and made sure you knew it too), some just have fun being the center of attention and are not interested in playing, etc. Not that we judge all SF by a few bad apples, but I am sure some people do.
  

 

Often we are the worst judge at how others perceive us. I am a large man, former athlete. But I am gregarious. My wife says I can be intimidating because of my size, I have deep loud voice, and I am not shy to go up to people. She says it can be intimidating for some. I think I am just a big old teddy bear (she thinks so too, but she knows me). But the point is I have to go out of my way to make sure others get to know me rather than allowing them to judge me based on first site.

 

It is frustrating to hear comments, even from people I have gotten to know well, that refer to my size as being intimidating. Females coming to me because they know the guy that keeps hounding them will leave them alone (don't get me wrong I am glad to do that for them). Or husbands joking about not getting out of line with my wife (they wouldn't anyway, they are gentleman, but it just humor to them.)

 

As odd as it may sound for a beautiful woman you may have to go out of your way to put people at ease, because beauty can be intimidating. You may need to make an effort to mingle more, because some will figure they don't have a chance or won't wade through the crowd if the odds are stacked so highly against them.

 

That is my 2 cents, it may be a load of crock, so take it for what its worth.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I just want to say that CoupleErotic hit some extremely good points.

 

This may or may not apply but thought I would add it to the list. Something I was told in one of my first posts here over a year ago is that people at clubs will often associate you with the people you associate with.

 

People see you playing with people they feel are "out of their league" or have rejected them at some point in the past so they are afraid to approach you.

 

People see you playing with people they feel are "not in their league" so they won't play with you.

 

I will even go as far as saying that it could be simple jealousy or a feeling of inadequacy that one partner won't allow them (inadequacy) or their partner (jealousy) play with you.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Yes I would approach you.

 

Mainly to see what your attitude and personality are like.

 

Many times people have the preconceived notion that "pretty people" have to much attitude. Many of them think they are special and god's gift to the world.

 

If I found that to be the case I would leave you alone no matter how hot and easy you may be. Just how I am.

 

If you are truly easy going and not stuck on yourself then I would spend time. Nothing wrong with a pretty girl with the RIGHT ATTITUDE.

 

Besides, it is most everyones fantasy to get to screw their attorney. We party with two female attorneys, we used to be their clients.

[Cajun2Step 65]

Yes we would both approach you. But then we are more secure in who we are than many folks.

 

In your case it may be a curse to be good looking. You might need to make people more comfortable when they are around you.

 

We both suggest that you become the aggressor approaching those you are interested in or those you might sense are intimidated or appear insecure.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

People see you playing with people they feel are "out of their league" or have rejected them at some point in the past so they are afraid to approach you.

 

People see you playing with people they feel are "not in their league" so they won't play with you.

 

Great point!

 

One more thing I noticed. I was in college when you were born. I know it is a cliche for men to seek out younger hot women. But when you are my nieces age or younger, well......

 

It is just a mental hurdle for me. And certainly one for my wife. One I wish we could get over, LOL. I am not sure most would agree with me about not looking for ladies that much younger, but I do know more swingers fall into our age range than yours.

 

It is also not just age. We have played with younger couples, still a several years older than you. So far it has not been great, there has been drama every time due to lack of maturity. If we are interested in younger couples now, we take even more time to get to know them because sometimes that immaturity doesn't show up in a couple of meetings or even until you are in a sexual situation. That is not to say someone is immature because they are young, age and maturity do not go hand in hand. But if it happens regularly then you get gun shy. We have moved our "age range" up as a result.

 

So we don't search for people nearly as young as you. If you introduce yourself or someone introduces you to us at a party, and you strike us a very mature person, we might entertain the idea. But if we saw you across the room, no matter how attractive, I doubt we would approach you from a sexual stand point. As friends? Yes! As playmate? Probably not, but we might be in the minority on that.

 

I can tell you from experience, it is a real mood killer when you are having sex with a women and she tells you are not much older than her father. It just made me feel like a creepy old man. But that is really my issue, clearly not hers, she was with me. My wife likes older guys as well, but not old enough to be her father lol.

[Guest ENCRYPTEDTX]

Would I approach?

 

I wouldnt necessarily hang up my jacket and make a bee line for you ask you to hit the sack with me. I really enjoy conversations, and while the host or hostess were showing me around, and during the hand-shakes and hellos, I would certainly ask for a side bar with my host/hostess and ask if they knew you or knew your desires towards single guys. If they dont know you or dont know your preferences, I will make some friendly gesture to you in the evening.

 

I like to smile in passing and make a joke. Body language is just wonderful when you understand it. If I see you are giving positive body language, I will ask you if you would like to shoot a game of pool, need a drink refill or would like to rob a bank later on this evening? The answer isnt really as important as how you say it. If we have chemistry from there we will get the guns, or pool cues or mixers for the drinks........

 

 

Do you ever consider you are giving off negative body language? Looks are important, but people generally flock to laughing, smiling up beat people.

 

 

I had to read many books about body language to understand some of my flaws. A friend once told me I never blink my eyes. After reading and understanding about me, I learned not blinking is an intimidating body language signal.

 

Kyle

[Playful1 434]

lots of good responses, thank you.

 

In this case I will say that giving off negative body language is not my problem, lol, believe me.

 

As to the other replies, I think they are all valid. Sadly, I can agree that many younger swingers seem to come hand in hand with a lot of drama. I imagine people experience that enough and say 'no more'. I'm not generally surrounded by a lot of people, so i dont think it is an access issue.

 

I think attractive single women also do have the reputation for bringing drama (again, i can say this is often true unfortunately), so when you combine that with age, well, it's already 2 strikes before they even talk to you.

 

Also, a lot of people more than 10yrs older than me seem to think (based on posts, conversations, etc. that i have seen/heard) that they will have nothing in common with or nothing to talk about with someone my age. I find that sad. As some of my best conversations have been with people 15+ yrs older than me, as well as some of my best partners.

 

For now I'll just have to keep being the aggressor and hope that as I get older people will be more willing to approach.

 

thanks for all the responses and good thoughts

[Cajun2Step 65]

Also, a lot of people more than 10yrs older than me seem to think (based on posts, conversations, etc. that i have seen/heard) that they will have nothing in common with or nothing to talk about with someone my age. I find that sad. As some of my best conversations have been with people 15+ yrs older than me, as well as some of my best partners.

 

For now I'll just have to keep being the aggressor and hope that as I get older people will be more willing to approach.

 

thanks for all the responses and good thoughts

 

C2S and Lady C2S both here. We have taken a personal poll. Feel free to be the aggressor toward us and we will let everyone know how good it was.

From your posts we both feel we would enjoy meeting, conversing, and partnering with you.

 

Seriously good luck in your pursuit.

[Guest Rick2112]

Ok, this might seem like an odd question, but it really is genuine.

 

I'm a single female. Bisexual, in law school (so i do have a brain) and most people seem to think im very attractive (5'4", 108lbs, 34B-24-35 and currently work as a model). I'm very friendly/talkative in group settings and very laid back, no drama (no, really!). I've been in the scene for 7yrs.

 

Here is my issue. I love playing, and play with a wide variety of people, but no matter how friendly I am people just don't really approach me Once people have played with me once, they have no problem with it. However I want to keep meeting new folks. I talk to them, flirt with, etc. but nothing.

 

I'm talking about on premise events and house parties btw.

 

I don't mind being the aggressor, but I admit, sometimes it would be nice to have someone come after me. My male swinger friends, both single and coupled, say I intimidate people because of my looks, but i have trouble believing that. A) because i dont really think im attractive enough to intimidate people..im not a supermodel or something and B) i have trouble seeing myself as intimidating in any way. Why not just approach, express and interest and go from there? or are people assuming I'll say no?

 

So my question to you is two fold...

 

1) would you approach me (based on the very little i gave here)? Why or why not?

2) if you say no...what could I do to make you approach me?

 

Yes I would, you sound nice, and seem sincere, yet my instinct says you are aware that you are very attractive to the majority of men...Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, a cliche yet I must Insist it is true...Smart....I've made a habit of getting to now people that are more sucessful and better educated than I..Why?? My hidden agenda is to show them things they never learned in school, I've made a few good friends that way...Not on the exchange of knowledge rather the joy of learning something new..In this Forum the women are both king and queen for the most part, you don't need a poll for what your eyes see day after day...

As for me, sometimes I would rather stimulate my mind than my physical being...thats not true...I love to stimulate them both at the same time..

Thanks for listening...Rick

[absingleman 178]

Ok, this might seem like an odd question, but it really is genuine.

 

I'm a single female. Bisexual, in law school (so i do have a brain) and most people seem to think im very attractive (5'4", 108lbs, 34B-24-35 and currently work as a model). I'm very friendly/talkative in group settings and very laid back, no drama (no, really!). I've been in the scene for 7yrs.

 

Here is my issue. I love playing, and play with a wide variety of people, but no matter how friendly I am people just don't really approach me Once people have played with me once, they have no problem with it. However I want to keep meeting new folks. I talk to them, flirt with, etc. but nothing.

 

I'm talking about on premise events and house parties btw.

 

I don't mind being the aggressor, but I admit, sometimes it would be nice to have someone come after me. My male swinger friends, both single and coupled, say I intimidate people because of my looks, but i have trouble believing that. A) because i dont really think im attractive enough to intimidate people..im not a supermodel or something and B) i have trouble seeing myself as intimidating in any way. Why not just approach, express and interest and go from there? or are people assuming I'll say no?

 

So my question to you is two fold...

 

1) would you approach me (based on the very little i gave here)? Why or why not?

2) if you say no...what could I do to make you approach me?

 

As a single man I can relate to what you are saying. Not the cause but the consequence. I think the fear of rejection or wariness of probable drama are the main barriers you face, but the solution is easy. Call me next time you want to go to a club.

 

Just kidding.

 

Seriously, it may be a body language thing, but not the way you think. It may be that you are, as you said, eager to meet new people and willing to play at on-premises events, and people see that and think something is wrong because you are trying to be open and friendly and approachable, something attractive SINGLE women at on-premises events usually are not until they are a little closer to my age and perceived to be more confident, wise, and in control of their hormones.

 

I had a recent experience where a young woman's body language said she was looking for sex was so apparent even the college guys playing pool were afraid to approach her because she was gorgeous and should not have wanted anything. After a few minutes I and three other older single guys worked up the nerve to ask her to join us while we played pool and told lies about our time in the military. An hour later when she said she didn't know who to pick, two of the guys chuckled and walked away leaving me and another guy there. When I asked where she lived, she looked at my shoes, asked if I walked there (it was only two blocks away, dammit ) and she left with the other guy. Too funny, now, but disappointing then.

 

Just be aware that sometimes you may be broadcasting your desires too loudly and others might be intimidated by that. I know from experience that single men intimidate, and sometimes even frighten, women with their body language when all they are looking for is companionship. Being too open is just as bad as being standoffish (is that really a word?) so maybe try to moderate your posture when you are at on-premises events.

 

Of course, you could call me and we could go as a couple. LOL.

[corncobb72 15]

Ok, this might seem like an odd question, but it really is genuine.

 

I'm a single female. Bisexual, in law school (so i do have a brain) and most people seem to think im very attractive (5'4", 108lbs, 34B-24-35 and currently work as a model). I'm very friendly/talkative in group settings and very laid back, no drama (no, really!). I've been in the scene for 7yrs.

 

Here is my issue. I love playing, and play with a wide variety of people, but no matter how friendly I am people just don't really approach me Once people have played with me once, they have no problem with it. However I want to keep meeting new folks. I talk to them, flirt with, etc. but nothing.

 

I'm talking about on premise events and house parties btw.

 

I don't mind being the aggressor, but I admit, sometimes it would be nice to have someone come after me. My male swinger friends, both single and coupled, say I intimidate people because of my looks, but i have trouble believing that. A) because i dont really think im attractive enough to intimidate people..im not a supermodel or something and B) i have trouble seeing myself as intimidating in any way. Why not just approach, express and interest and go from there? or are people assuming I'll say no?

 

So my question to you is two fold...

 

1) would you approach me (based on the very little i gave here)? Why or why not?

2) if you say no...what could I do to make you approach me?

 

we would because we have been looking for someone for a while and you sound like what my husband is looking for.

[Learning 160]

I'll be one to say no I would not approach. Just because DH and I are pretty shy but we were getting better at it. In your department single girls can have their pick so why would you be interested in a cpl who approached you? In away I would assume if you were interested you would approach us. Seriously you can usually have anyone you want.

[BR1957 15]

Ok, this might seem like an odd question, but it really is genuine.

 

I'm a single female. Bisexual, in law school (so i do have a brain) and most people seem to think im very attractive (5'4", 108lbs, 34B-24-35 and currently work as a model). I'm very friendly/talkative in group settings and very laid back, no drama (no, really!). I've been in the scene for 7yrs.

 

Here is my issue. I love playing, and play with a wide variety of people, but no matter how friendly I am people just don't really approach me Once people have played with me once, they have no problem with it. However I want to keep meeting new folks. I talk to them, flirt with, etc. but nothing.

 

I'm talking about on premise events and house parties btw.

 

I don't mind being the aggressor, but I admit, sometimes it would be nice to have someone come after me. My male swinger friends, both single and coupled, say I intimidate people because of my looks, but i have trouble believing that. A) because i dont really think im attractive enough to intimidate people..im not a supermodel or something and B) i have trouble seeing myself as intimidating in any way. Why not just approach, express and interest and go from there? or are people assuming I'll say no?

 

So my question to you is two fold...

 

1) would you approach me (based on the very little i gave here)? Why or why not?

2) if you say no...what could I do to make you approach me?

Hello I am Barry I WOULD always come back to you, would you to me.........I am 53 now, and disabled. I am very friendly, caring, horny, and I got a girlfriend who is 30 and bi, I love girls with brains too, she has a PHD. I live in the UK, if you want me as a friend or more..........please contact me poetbarry57@aol.com, or via Facebook, or Twitter. If not sorry to have bothered you, take care Barry.

[Trace Ekies 186]

The Mrs. would definately approach...I would be very careful and decide to stay clear...

 

At 46 years old I would find it difficult to approach a single woman in her late 20's to early 30's (my assumption based on your description) due to the high volume of "hits" you'd typically receive and my fear of making fool of myself approaching someone so much younger than me.

 

It is not beauty or intelligence that I fear...it's being the "dirty old man" in the eyes of others...

 

While I understand that "there's an ass for every seat", I will almost always assume that a beautiful young woman is looking for someone near her own age...

 

Feel free to approach myself and Mrs. Ekies anytime...

 

Good luck in your swingin' travels,

 

Trace

[TwoAreLooking 58]

Um. Is "I don't know" a fair answer? I know that I might approach you before D & I both approached you. I'd probably be the scouting party. So, yeah, I'd try.

 

Does that help at all?

 

M.

[Alura 2,775]

I'm on Trace's side...

 

At seventy years, I don't much approach any woman. An old love (age 64 now) recently found me, but if my meeting women depends on the amount of effort extended on my part, it isn't likely to happen.

 

... and someone as young and lovely as yourself? The only way we might ever speak to each other, much less play, would be if you initiated it. I think most geezers will agree. The odds on our side aren't good, so why bother? Perhaps a nap instead...

 

Alura

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

1) would you approach me (based on the very little i gave here)? Why or why not?

2) if you say no...what could I do to make you approach me?

 

1) I am more impulsive than analytical. Answer, therefore, is about eighty percent probability I would approach you.

2) As far as the other twenty percent of the probability, that would be if I smiled at you and you failed to return a smile.

 

~Just Michael

[interested-05 135]

From what you have to say about yourself, I would love to approach you. However, I'm afraid my wife isnt quite as open to the idea. Not that she would say no way in hell but she is afraid by the comparison she makes in her own mind of youth, beauty and current dress sizes.

we are early 50's reasonably good shape, definitely good health, but a few more pounds than we probably could be. For a couple like us, i might intiate a conversation not expecting it to go anywhere. if you were interested you would need to be friendly and reassuring to my wife, that this is simply about having fun with us.

[MrsPandMe 150]

Hmmm... Interesting you mention this because the Mrs and I were at a club for a Sunday night party and ran into much the same situation, except it was a pair of very attractive couples. We are not model material, to be sure, but her and I have been around the block enough times to feel secure that we are attractive to people.

 

Anyway, the situation we keep running into with "beautiful people" is that they only seem to seek out other "beautiful people". This doesn't necessarily stop me from approaching you and introducing myself to you, but for me my size up is going to be very, very quick. If you don't seem to engage with me right away, I'm going to assume I'm not what you're looking for and I will not press the issue. This isn't an image thing or a "why would a hot number like this want to deal with a guy like me" mentality, it's simply a matter of experience and observation. Someone else on here hit on the notion "we associate you with who you associate with" and that has some ring of truth to it, whether we want to admit it or not, and it's true in all aspects of social interaction.

 

Anyway, the situation the other night was that the young attractive people quickly formed a clique and that was pretty much it for them for the evening. We made a concerted effort to engage several of them and beyond being socially courteous, it was clear that we were NOT invited to their party. Point being, we're not the only ones to run into this, so you might be experiencing a sort of "guilt by association", and a lot of people you might be interested in playing with are avoiding you based on past experience. To overcome this, you might need to be a more social butterfly, in that you might find you'll need to approach people and introduce yourself. I don't think you'll need to throw yourself at people, far from it.. But as for me, if I were approached by you with a friendly "hello" and a genuine look of interest I would definitely not miss the opportunity to find out what you're about!

 

Mr. P

[lovinher 505]

It may surprise you what a simple smile while looking directly at somebody your interested in will do. I can't stress that enough.

If I thought you were out of my league and you did that, I'd approach you in a heartbeat. Then I'd talk to you to see what type of person you are. Beauty isn't a guarantee for me.

[shy_couple 460]

A single girl gets alot of attention at aperties and clubs. You would have ahlf the club or party approach you if even half of how you described yourself is true.

 

I agree with VegasLee and some of the others, it would depend on you to keep that attention.

 

Now, just from the vibe I get from your posting, you have a nice package that looks really good on paper. You sound like you are too insecure, trying too hard for some reason, or just plain needy. Any combination of these is a huge turn off for us. It usually equals drama or play where allfocus is to be on you.

 

I may be waaay off and by no means do I know you. I am only going by what was written and the undertone I detect.

 

Again there are plenty of people, men, women, and couples who dont care and are just looking to play. For us, if we feel a vibe when we meet similar to the one I picked up on in your post, we would make an excuse to move along.

[Playful1 434]

A single girl gets alot of attention at aperties and clubs. You would have ahlf the club or party approach you if even half of how you described yourself is true.

 

I agree with VegasLee and some of the others, it would depend on you to keep that attention.

 

Now, just from the vibe I get from your posting, you have a nice package that looks really good on paper. You sound like you are too insecure, trying too hard for some reason, or just plain needy. Any combination of these is a huge turn off for us. It usually equals drama or play where allfocus is to be on you.

 

I may be waaay off and by no means do I know you. I am only going by what was written and the undertone I detect.

 

Again there are plenty of people, men, women, and couples who dont care and are just looking to play. For us, if we feel a vibe when we meet similar to the one I picked up on in your post, we would make an excuse to move along.

 

the first thing you mention...it might be true, but I have to say that in the 6yrs I've been going to events, I have yet to see it happen. It certainly does not happen to me. This seems to be a running assumption people have about what single womens experiences must be.

 

the second thing: no i am not needy, insecure or trying too hard. I was very descriptive in my post because I wanted to give as much info as possible. I always get "repeat visits" so to speak from people I play with and most of the time makes friends outside of sex with them. Oddly enough I am exactly the opposite of 'drama' and 'all attention focused on' me. I am not comfy being the 100% center of attention in group settings and indeed focus the sex on my partners (particularly the ladies if they are into it ) I also do not bring drama to the table. In fact it is a running joke among my friends that they somehow found the drama free unicorn, lol.

 

I may have come across wrong in my post, but it was a well meaning post. I simply was trying to get some new ideas as to why I always have to initiate play and always have to be the one to go up to people.

 

to everyone else I really appreciate the comments, as they have given me some stuff to think about. thank you

[ItTakes3 19]

No, we would not. I'm no gambler, but I could figure the odds pretty quickly. Any contact would be entirely up to you.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

the first thing you mention...it might be true, but I have to say that in the 6yrs I've been going to events, I have yet to see it happen. It certainly does not happen to me. This seems to be a running assumption people have about what single womens experiences must be.

 

the second thing: no i am not needy, insecure or trying too hard. I was very descriptive in my post because I wanted to give as much info as possible. I always get "repeat visits" so to speak from people I play with and most of the time makes friends outside of sex with them. Oddly enough I am exactly the opposite of 'drama' and 'all attention focused on' me. I am not comfy being the 100% center of attention in group settings and indeed focus the sex on my partners (particularly the ladies if they are into it ) I also do not bring drama to the table. In fact it is a running joke among my friends that they somehow found the drama free unicorn, lol.

 

I may have come across wrong in my post, but it was a well meaning post. I simply was trying to get some new ideas as to why I always have to initiate play and always have to be the one to go up to people.

 

to everyone else I really appreciate the comments, as they have given me some stuff to think about. thank you

 

We would approach you now

[prometheius 137]

I would approach you, say hi, and introduce myself. From then on it's all about how well we interact. Come to an event we attend and I'll prove it!

[Playful1 434]

lol, you guys are awesome!

 

good responses and flirtation all in one

 

i'll have to post whichever DC/MD/VA area halloween party im going to and see if I can wind up meeting some of you in person If it helps, i'll be showing up in a princess leia gold bikini

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Thanks for updating your profile. You are a beautiful woman. If we based things strictly on looks alone we would certainly approach you. But with the caveats I mentioned before, we might be hesitant to do so.

 

If you are interested in couples our age (we are almost 20 years your senior) you might want to mingle and find couples you like and let them know you are interested. There are just to many reasons why we wouldn't make the first step. For us, and most people we have talked with, the connection is about more than beauty, which you certainly have.

 

Beauty you can see across the room, intellect, good conversation, maturity, lack of drama and mutual attraction is something you need to find out about up close and personal.

 

Talking to my wife she mentioned something about the people our age we see that MOST often go after the younger crowd. Most, not all, of them are people we wouldn't consider being with. I reiterate most not all. In conversations we have found them to be shallow, pushy and devoid of much conversational ability beyond 3 topics; sex, sex and sex. You know the kind, the ones that the first 3 things they tell you are their name, penis size and about their super human ability to make any woman orgasm more and better than she ever has. lol. Most of the attractive people our age that we have met, and also find interesting, tend to stick closer to their age group.

 

We came up with a few ideas as to what that meant. We figure the first group, the shallow pushy ones, are playing a numbers game. The more people they can spill their lines on about their sexual prowess, the better chance they have of getting lucky, and it seems to work for them to some degree. We also figure they believe that their lines will work on the younger, less mature and experienced. Sometimes it does.

 

The ones that are also good personalities tend to stick closer to their age group. We figure it because of many of the reasons I mentioned in earlier post. They don't tend to approach the younger crowd, but certainly engage them if they are approached by them.

 

At the last social I was at I noticed several unicorns, three in particular that were young and very attractive. I casually and intermittently kept tabs on those three that evening and noticed a few things. One spent almost all of her time dancing, mostly nude, around a pole. She was approached and mainly watched, and played some (kissing caressing etc, not sex), exclusively with women. I never saw a male even attempt to play with her. She never mingled in the crowd at all.

 

The other two spent the majority of their time mingling with the crowd near and around our age. I would guess 80% of their time or so was spent with couples in their 30's, 40's & 50's and the other 20% with people their age, in the their 20's. (I also noticed that a few of the other young unicorns almost never mingled outside their age group)

 

As the party wound down, the one that spent most of her time dancing was busy bouncing from couple to couple in very brief conversation. The couples were all in engaged in other conversations. They were polite but did not talk with her too long. As I was outside talking with some friends I noticed she got in her car an left, alone. Perhaps that was her plan all along, who knows.

 

One of the ladies I saw mingling was last seen getting into an elevator with a couple I know, who are in their late 30's, and looked as if the party was going to be continued upstairs.

 

The third lady was getting email or phone numbers from a few couples, both younger and older than us. I never saw her leave so I am not sure where she went. But it was clear if she wanted to, there were several couples that would continue the party.

 

I had not noticed it before the OP, but I can see your point now. Most of the "crowd" was around the unicorns that were exhibitionist, dancing nude etc. And their was not much in the way of engaging conversation going on. People would watch and be playful a bit, but that was about it. Other unicorns seemed to stay in one spot and had only 1 or 2 couples and maybe another unicorn or two with them. Others mingled and were approaching other people. The seem to be the most popular people in the room.

 

My previous thought had been that the unicorns were covered up with people, but that was not the case. Previously I had noticed things with passive interest. Once I was looking for how things went on, I noticed that the unicorns that were covered up with interested playmates where those working the room.

[sexcupid 809]

coupleerotic, I think the OP's general point was that she was tired of doing all the persuing and wanted to be pursued.

 

OP, it doesn't matter what you think of yourself...the fact is people have told you they are intimidated by your looks before you approaced them and they realized what a lovely conversationalist/personality you had in addition to those looks. You are 25 when the majority of people are in their 30s and above. You don't seem to mind playing above your age, but others have mentioned that they would not approach because of that. Not that my SO would mind approaching someone 20 years younger, but he's kind of odd like that.

 

I like being pursued as well...it just seems that most guys have been conditioned in the LS to wait for the woman to show interest before putting the moves on and those that don't are labelled pushy or disrespectful.

[Swing*8701 887]

susan here-- The women that are attractive and bitchy and filled with drama, get all the press. Those of us that are pretty and fun and sane, never get credit . When I was single sometimes it would be difficult at a Club. So I would introduce myself by saying,"Hi. I'm sane and enjoy sex with fun people." It really helped.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . .I like being pursued as well...it just seems that most guys have been conditioned in the LS to wait for the woman to show interest before putting the moves on and those that don't are labelled pushy or disrespectful.

I formerly had this fear of being perceived as pushy. No longer. I have watched and learned. I have also taken my wife's advice on this. Girls like attention. There is attention and then there is attention. I have, I believe, learned the difference.

[RussianSea 15]

After seeing you in person and I found you very attractive then yes I would give it a try. I like to aim high, not say I think super highly of myself but my motto is that what's the worst that can happen? You saying no won't kill me.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Most women who are hot, don't realize how hot they are. I remember in HS one of my friends (a scrawny guy who most girls wouldn't think about going out with) asked out the hottest girl... and she said yes. Why, because he asked and no one else would... they were all intimidated by her. That's a lesson to everyone who is too intimidated to approach the hot chicks at the party.

 

All I can say for you is make sure you are presenting yourself as open. When you are talking with those you already know, try to stand in a way that invites new people into the conversation (not with your back to them, but turned slightly and make sure there is an opening for someone to join you). If there's no space to approach you, they can't do it. If they feel like you are already "spoken for" they won't approach you either. If it seems like another couple (or guy) already has your attention a new person isn't likely to interrupt and risk being turned down.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Playful1,

 

You posted this in the "Do you keep your glasses on?" thread:

 

i am vain about my glasses. i wont wear them out at parties/get togethers.

 

of course, i need mine for distance, which means if you are more than a few feet from me, i need to squint to see what you look like at all, lol. so i am sure people have thought i am giving them the stink eye before from across the room when i am just trying to see what they look like, lol.

 

i've been told im cute with my glasses on, but, yeah, i dont like them. plus, they cost enough that i am scared of them getting damage during a party.

 

has not caused me an issue yet, but i have considered contacts. my concern is remembering to take them out when i go home.

 

I wonder if this plays into what you're experiencing at the club and parties. If you can't make meaningful eye contact with someone from across the room, and perhaps not realize when they're trying to make eye contact with you, that could definitely impede someone from approaching you. If I see someone at a party whom I'd like to approach, I feel much more confident about it if smiles are exchanged first. If the person can't see me or see what I look like, I would think it would be difficult for them.

 

Sorry if this is way off base. I saw it in the other thread and thought it might be part of what's happening to you.

 

I recommend contacts. After the first time you leave them in overnight, you won't forget again, at least for a while. It gets to be habit to take them out. And if you leave them in once in a while, it won't hurt you.

[turnuptheheat 98]

I would probably want to but would not because of age (in shape and young 50)

and feeling like Trace E said above.

If the avatar is you, you are definitely beautiful enough to intimidate most.

My wife feels she is too old and fat to attract anyone, yet she is so damn sexy that she is wanted by many in different age groups.

People have a warped sense of what they look like to others and it affects all aspects of close interaction, IMO

[mde 4764 15]

I would absolutely approach you. I know from past experience that many times the unicorn is seen as someone that just wants to attract attention but nothing more. I have seen the single female at parties many times. The walk around and mingle, but never seem to play.

[Alura 2,775]

My wife feels she is too old and fat to attract anyone...

 

She is wrong.

 

Alura