How many couples have you run out of the lifestyle?

[DigginIt 1,132]

So most you you have followed some of our posts know that we just hit our 1 year mark back in May and everyone picks up funny stories when you swing right?

 

So one of ours starts off as "so how many couples have you run out of the lifestyle?"

 

Yes, it's meant to be in jest and only after you have had a few drinks and everyone is having fun but the surprising responses are actual numbers. Four, one, We have actually had two couples delete their profiles after we slept with them...were we that bad They just closed shop and disappeared

 

(just in case your wondering our thoughts on why, couple one - we think their family found out and they deleted their profiles and repented, lol. Couple two - no real clue).

 

So how many people have just up and deleted their accounts after an encounter with you?

[friskyous 17]

Sounds like they just didn't deal with the after effects well.. or you guys were so good they figured it just wasn't going to get any better and quit while they were ahead.

[Learning 160]

Humm.. Not slept with but just went out on a date with. It was funny because throughout the night they noted how much fun they were having(they just told us they were having a good time....we dis not silict any response anyways, they just volunteered). We sent a follow up email and they gave us a thanks but no thanks response. Then took their profile down. Ha! We are on a break due to my pregnancy so I sent some follow up emails to people we met. I didn't want them to think we got out because of them.

[TwoAreLooking 58]

Uh.... none?

 

M.

[mikeandjenn2001 77]

Funny answer:

 

We have never run people out of the lifestyle...they're just recuperating from all of the fun they've had with us .

 

 

Serious answer:

 

We have met some great people through the lifestyle, some who were just curious and decided that it's not for them. This was when we met them for drinks or dinner, never after play. I don't think we've run anybody that we've played with off.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . So how many people have just up and deleted their accounts after an encounter with you?

This might help you to feel better, maybe not. A couple of years ago, we arranged a restaurant meeting, thought things were going well, received an invitation across the table from "them" to go to the hotel across the road. Went to aforementioned hotel, had wild sex. They left with the words "have to pay the babysitter" on their lips; we stayed overnight.

 

Next day, their SwingLifeStyle profile has the words, done, done, done, done . . " all over it. Never got an explanation, never asked. We looked at each other and said, "we killed them." We have subsequently seen them both at a recurrent, open-invitation party. They are manifestly still alive. They reply politely when we greet them. Don't know what we did or what they saw that put them off and we ain't askin'.

[PB&J 1,086]

It happened to us once. It was a relatively newbie couple, we met them for drinks, clicked, met them a couple of weeks later at a club and played. we are not sure how soon after that they disappeared, but within a month their ad, email address, and themselves were gone, gone, gone.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Guilty at least twice. Both times everything seemed to go well. No drama, fun all around, or so it seemed, with promises to make it happen again. Even got the S.L.S. "certification swap" the next day.

 

Then, nothing. Profiles abandoned, no appearances at the local club. Just gone.

We haven't really worried about it, other than to joke about being the kiss of death for some people.

 

It would be interesting to know what happened to them, but........

Don't know what we did or what they saw that put them off and we ain't askin'.

Yeah, this is the best way to handle it. Just move on, and keep having fun.

[LFM2 1,482]

We're not sure.

 

We were asked to dinner by a couple who wanted to talk over the ins and outs of the LS and we talked, and talked and talked more. We didn't play. We laughed, had dinner and we went our separate ways.

 

No more profile, no more communication, no nuthin'. They like vanished into thin air.

 

We don't dwell on it... Maybe they figured they weren't meant for the LS... who knows...

[DigginIt 1,132]

We sit around and reflect on the second couple only out of idle curosity. We spoke with them off and on for weeks before actually meeting. It was a casual meeting with no plans. It went well so we made the date. They were the ones that seemed really excited, had a great time, can't wait to see you two again, and then the "gone, gone, gone." We think they ended up in a fight over it which is a shame but will never know.

 

Learning - Same with this couple. They just talked all night about how great things were, etc... until the hotel.

 

SW_PA_Couple - Ouch, lol. The "done. done. done. done" definitely sound like they had some serious exchanging of words afterwards. A guess would be someone did something they were not supposed to do (sure it was one of them). I would have to believe that they feel embarrassed by how it went down. Look how many people post here about not stopping or waiting until it's all over before exploding at their SO.

 

Both of the couples we spoke about were pretty new to the lifestyle. That brings to mind another question. I wonder what the statistics would look like for those that think of trying it, attempt to try it and quit, try it and quit, try it a few times and quit and those that make the transition successfully?

[brew82 15]

Over a nearly two year span four of the couples we were with(more than twice) ended up divorced. Does that count?

[Ed & Bunny 160]

Brew82, We can beat that, Three couples we met but never slept with broke apart, with the married one of the bunch getting a divorce. One couple we did sleep with separated but has gotten back together and is going through marriage counseling.

 

Now we know we had nothing to do with the couples breaking up, but it is still sort of creepy.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Over a nearly two year span four of the couples we were with(more than twice) ended up divorced. Does that count?

 

Brew82, We can beat that, Three couples we met but never slept with broke apart, with the married one of the bunch getting a divorce. One couple we did sleep with separated but has gotten back together and is going through marriage counseling.

 

Now we know we had nothing to do with the couples breaking up, but it is still sort of creepy.

 

Did you get the feeling from them that they were not that close from the start or did they seem like couples that were really in love?

 

I know that we have not played with a couple that we felt were in the lifestyle for the wrong reasons but obviously our judgement is far from perfect.

[Ed & Bunny 160]

Did you get the feeling from them that they were not that close from the start or did they seem like couples that were really in love?

 

I know that we have not played with a couple that we felt were in the lifestyle for the wrong reasons but obviously our judgement is far from perfect.

 

The couple we slept with had a child and seemed very happy, and one of the two unmarried couples was planning a wedding, so they were a surprise. The other two couples we just didnt get to know well enough to really tell.

[dodgechevy 149]

Wow, glad to know it wasn't just us that have experienced this! What's crazy is that for the most part these couples are super excited during the meet, and the night always ends up with them saying "we HAVE to get together again!". And then bam, we never hear from them again or they never log on.

 

Funny enough, we were just recently contacted by the female of one of the couples, turns out that they ended up getting divorced for other reasons. But now she was thinking about getting into the lifestyle with a new boyfriend.

[SAVANDWIN 266]

We haven't run any off, too busy breaking them in. For some reason newbies are drawn to us; perhaps they see us as very approachable, laid back and feel we are nonthreatening...for what ever reason we've meet wonderful people in our 3 years of swinging. To date (knock on wood) we haven't had a single episode of drama.

 

Mrs Sav

[divenaked 325]

We know several couples who have divorced. One or the other of them has remained friends...and swing partners.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

WOW. Great thread...lol.

 

I can't think of any that we've run out, but we've had a few make us want to run screaming.... and I can think of two that basically ran me off from the idea of swinging as a single female (couples I met when I was attempting to swing as a single female).

 

1. Met them at a party. Both were extremely aggressive.

2. Met them via an ad. Went back to their house to have them tell me about their last female who slept at the foot of their bed. Yeah, I ran the other way and never looked back, and pulled my ad shortly after.

[thosetwo76 15]

2. Met them via an ad. Went back to their house to have them tell me about their last female who slept at the foot of their bed. Yeah, I ran the other way and never looked back, and pulled my ad shortly after.

 

Wha.....? OMG. Hope you wore your track shoes that night, and not heels.

[TwoAreLooking 58]

Uh.... none?

 

M.

 

Reading the posts, I realize that one interaction may count. The first time we got together with another couple, we (I) did one-on-one interactions, and that was STUPID. The couple was on the rocks in a big way. Train. Wreck.

 

M.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Reading the posts, I realize that one interaction may count. The first time we got together with another couple, we (I) did one-on-one interactions, and that was STUPID. The couple was on the rocks in a big way. Train. Wreck.

 

M.

 

Did it wreck after the fact or during a particular encounter?

 

We at least had the "things were absolutely great! can't wait to get together again!" then

 

[larry818 58]

My answer is easy: All of them.

 

I started swinging 20 years ago, and no one I knew from back then is still swinging.

 

The real answer is just one couple. It's a typical story, we met this newbie couple at a club, had fun together, but the hubby was in it thinking he would get a lot of sex, and when he saw his wife enjoying it as well, freaked out. They were conversing loudly on the way out the door and we never saw them again.

[Spoomonkey 421]

"so how many couples have you run out of the lifestyle?"

 

We've had one couple tell us that they needed time to think about what they wanted. They said they were taking a break which materialized with a "Taking A Break" tag line on their ad. Then their ad disappeared. Not long after a new ad appeared, same pics, same descriptions. It seemed like a lot of trouble when "we're just not that into you" would have sufficed.

 

There wasn't any chemistry between myself and the wife so we kind of expected - in fact had discussed - things ending. We were definitely at the point of giving up on it ourselves (but she was hot so I was slow on the trigger).

 

But then - we "kinda" did the same thing. We had been kicking around deleting our Swing Lifestyle profile. It had never really done much for us. But we connected with a couple who we really, really struggled to figure out if we liked them or not. There were good things and not so good things - outside of the bed, they were entertaining. In the bed... It was like blending Lincoln Logs with Legos.

 

When we cut it off with them, we did delete our profile, so it probably looked like they chased us off, but they were just the yawn we needed to help us make that final step. It was more bad timing than anything else.

 

So my answer is "one" (kinda), but it evens out since we were similarly "run off".

 

 

Spoomonkey

[LFM2 1,482]

My answer is easy: All of them.

 

I started swinging 20 years ago, and no one I knew from back then is still swinging.

 

The real answer is just one couple. It's a typical story, we met this newbie couple at a club, had fun together, but the hubby was in it thinking he would get a lot of sex, and when he saw his wife enjoying it as well, freaked out. They were conversing loudly on the way out the door and we never saw them again.

 

I think we have a winner!

[Swing*8701 887]

Well, statistically, most people who have a threesome or a moresome, never do so again. The reasons surely vary, ranging from jealousy to insecurity to bad sex to amazing sex they couldn't cope with. The good thing is, that they at least tried.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I think we've run two, possibly three, couples out of the lifestyle. I cringe just writing that. We didn't do anything bad, at least not on purpose! All three couples were relatively new, having played a little before meeting us, but not a lot. In retrospect, our mistake was the same all three times. We opened the door/allowed/encouraged/didn't caution against them doing what turned out to be more than they were ready to do. From now on, we will be very careful about this type of thing. It's better to take more responsibility than is really ours, than it is to feel like we could have stopped play with people we like and respect, even if they seem into it.

 

When the two of us started, we pretty much dove in and didn't experience any glitches until a lot further down the road. So it's easy to think everyone else is just like we were. They're not. That's a perspective we need to appreciate.

 

The first couple did a full swap with us and they both were smiling when they left, but it was obvious to me that she wasn't comfortable with something. Maybe it was the fact that I gave her husband a blow job so he could have an orgasm (he couldn't with the condom). He said his wife didn't do that, and I said that was fine, but if he wanted me to, I would like to. He wanted me to, and I did. Is it wrong that I didn't explicitly confirm that he'd talked about this possibility with his wife beforehand? Maybe it's not strictly wrong of me, but I know better now. Even though I think every couple has a responsibility to talk about their boundaries beforehand, and say "no" or "not right now" to anything they're not sure about, I will forever and henceforth endeavour to make absolutely sure that both halves think anything I do is okay. And actually, I don't know for sure that that was what made her uncomfortable. We've not seen them again online or out, and they never answered any emails. This was sometime during 2008.

 

The second couple dove right in with us and did the "sleep swap" thing, sometime a little over a year ago. They had played a little before us, but not very much. We had had a soft swap with them the weekend before. My husband was completely entranced with this woman. Everyone was on a sex high the whole night and into breakfast. By the time breakfast was over, we could see the "Oh shit, I'm confused" look on her face and a little on his. They told us a few weeks later that they decided the lifestyle wasn't for them. We feel pretty badly about this and wish what they'd done with us hadn't caused them anxiety. We feel like perhaps if we'd done less, like maybe did a swap and then hung out for a while and left them to themselves, or even stayed the night but with our own spouses, that they wouldn't have felt so dislocated, and the result might have been different. We like them a lot, and like I said, Mr. Fuse was really, really into her. His connection with her was special and I wish I had called a time-out before we went too far. I hate thinking that I could have done something to make things turn out better.

 

The third couple, after we did a full swap with them, wanted to go to their first party last NYE. They had played a little before us, but not much. We got them invited to a party, but warned them it was really not a beginner party and to expect to see lots of play. I think in spite of that, they were a bit put off by it. Months and months later (only a few weeks ago in fact), the guy told us via IM that the lady felt rejected because Mr. Fuse played with someone else first at the party, after having played with his wife about a month beforehand. This, in spite of his wife telling Mr. Fuse she wasn't playing at all that night. He asked her at some point during the night, and she said no. I really think the two of them don't see that night the same way, but I'm not about to go digging. He was put out by who knows what..everything...nothing. Anyway, our lesson from them is not to invite people to "playful" parties if we don't think they're ready for it, even if they want to go. I don't know if they're still in the lifestyle... but I hope not. They take everything too seriously.

 

Now I feel like we're a poison pill... ha ha... damn... it's hard looking in the mirror.

[carl01tx 17]

We haven't made a couple run but we did one man.

 

We had a single man that we had known for many years in a straight 3 way with us. It was something that he really was excited about at the time when it happened. He had even half joked about being available if I should ever need help keeping her satisfied. The next day after the encounter he insisted on apologizing for allowing himself to fuck my wife. He was really remorseful. I repeatedly told him that she and I had a great time and to just be happy. Soon he became very religious and quit all communication with us. As far as I know he is immersed in church activities. It still bears on me that we lost a good friend but I also keep telling myself that it’s not our fault. Should we still feel some responsibility?

[Tahoecple 319]

I don’t know I guess we’ve been in this thing a little longer that a lot of you folks. That being said we probably have played less than a lot of you. We had our first full swap foursome back in the ‘70;s and played last a few month ago. During that time we have seen a lot of couples come and go. We have met some great people and met some people we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemies.

 

Over the last few years with the internet its become a lot easier to make contact and to say in contact with the people you meet and those you want to meet. Back when we got started it was correspondence by snail mail.

 

But I think what this comes down to in most cases is wanting to have fun in the moment. I know for us the biggest thrills come from the new experiences and from the new people we meet. Oh we have had some long time friends in this but those are few and far between. The majority of all the people that we have met and played with have mostly all been short term relations. They have lasted over a period of a few weeks to a year or so.

 

A lot of people that get into this do so because of the fantasy thrill of it. In the fantasy world every thing seems so exotic and perfect. When that fantasy world is transferred into the real world and they see their spouse enjoying themselves with somebody else those two worlds sometime clash with unexpected results. For this to work the pleasure and desires of your significant other comes more into play than your pleasure most of the time. If you go into this when it’s all about one spouse or the other it never works for long.

 

If you are lucky enough to find another couple or two that you both click with and enjoy their company that’s special. If you meet that special couple and it last over the years you are blessed. So enjoy the moment because you never know how long it’s going to last.

[DigginIt 1,132]

He said his wife didn't do that, and I said that was fine, but if he wanted me to, I would like to. He wanted me to, and I did. Is it wrong that I didn't explicitly confirm that he'd talked about this possibility with his wife beforehand?

 

We have personally heard many stories around this from our friends. The entire evening can go fantastic and then one finds out about something the other did (usually something they won't do or something that is considered "special" between them) and they flip out.

 

I believe that we are all adults and it was his responsibility to say "no" and I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.

 

I also believe that most new couples that leave after their first real encounter does stem around them going to deep to fast and realizing they still had a lot to discuss but at that point there is no "reasonable" discussion and most likely is just nasty arguing and blame slinging.

 

Tahoecple - absolutely agree with you on that point about getting into it for the fantasy but then realizing that you have emotional consequences in reality.

 

Carl01Tx - I would think that you were just the straw that broke the camels back and he had serious concerns around other aspects of his life by the way it sounds. Some people just are not able to compartmentalize their sex life and they can't deal with "sex" as recreational IMO and I would say he couldn't separate sex from his religious upbringing and probably feels he's tainted your relationship some how. You would probably never be able to convince him otherwise.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . A lot of people that get into this do so because of the fantasy thrill of it. In the fantasy world every thing seems so exotic and perfect. When that fantasy world is transferred into the real world and they see their spouse enjoying themselves with somebody else those two worlds sometime clash with unexpected results. For this to work the pleasure and desires of your significant other comes more into play than your pleasure most of the time. If you go into this when it’s all about one spouse or the other it never works for long. . .

Profound and thought-provoking (thank you very much for your observation). You have me thinking that my ability to enjoy myself is very possibly owing to the fact that I am able to forget, for a few moments, the pleasure and desires of my significant other and pursue what I want while having the complete confidence that she is, at the same time, pursuing what she wants.

[MN Tom 251]

I believe we just joined this club recently.

 

It is a newbie couple we met about 2 months ago at an event. Had a decent time, contacted them after, and we started texting.

 

Met one or both of them a few more times at events, spent a few hours chatting with them, texted the whole time in between events. They updated their profile, a bit optimistically I would say (wrote that they were more ready than I believe they were) , but anyway. At our last meeting the wife asked me to go to her room, I said no because I didnt think her hubby was ready, she unhappily agreed.

 

Saw them this past weekend at an event, they were fine with talking with my wife, (she arrived a few hours before me), but they gave me the cold shoulder. This was after her texting me just the day prior and sounding perfectly fine. And I noticed that the rest of the evening they never talked with anyone, just sat there pretty uneasily. She looked unhappy, he was shielding her with his body, making them not very approachable with how he sat. Kinda sad actually.

 

Log onto website tonight to find them cancelling their attendance at future events and then cancelling their account.

 

Our only guess at this point is he wasnt ready and they had a fight about it. He probably realized that the reality of her doing someone else (like me) was harder to stomach than the fantasy, and decided to lock her down at this past event. And she probably chewed him out for it, and they quit after the fight.

[wifes_toy 53]

We are working on our first. The she 1/2 is just not into it or ready for this.

[BigNikki 43]

Big Nikki here.

 

We try to recruit. Dunno if we've run anyone off the reservation.

 

-- Big Nikki

[twistedpretzels 100]

1) EXP'd cpl could not communicate a 'no match' desire but instead got an emergency phone call! too funny.

2) The 'we had a great time at dinner, lets meet again!" followed up with a text a few hours later--'thanks but no thanks' THEN a few weeks later changed their tune. We said 'never mind' after that... lol.

 

I'm sure more to follow....

[Dont.Stop 339]

We had a couple drop their profile about a month after we got together. And we'd only had ours up for about a month at that point.

 

As we recall they weren't a joy to play with. Great personalities, but Mrs. says he was a taker. She spent time getting him aroused, but instead of reciprocating, he went right to intercourse.

 

On my side, I had a dead fish. She told me once we got to the hotel room that she "zones out" when in the act. Yep, she just laid there and let me do everything.

 

I don't know if we ran them out... but if so I think we did the community a favor.

[BigNikki 43]

Big Nikki here.

On my side, I had a dead fish. She told me once we got to the hotel room that she "zones out" when in the act. Yep, she just laid there and let me do everything.

 

How creepy. Unless you're into necrophilia, as some are. (This woman ought to seek out necrophiliacs.)

 

I'm wondering of this zoning-out is part of her that happens naturally, or if there's something else going on.

 

You've had a massage. It's a treat to just lie there, passively, and have someone work over your body. I gotta wonder if this woman isn't choosing to treat swing sex like a massage. No exchange, just passively being pleasured.

 

This Inquiring Mind doesn't want to know -- particularly first hand.

 

-- Big Nikki

[Dont.Stop 339]

Except the masseuse is not expecting much feedback, if any. If it hurts, I'll tell you. Otherwise, do what I'm paying you to do.

 

Reaction, feedback, reciprocation... it's all vital to having good sex, and more so with a new partner. Moan a little, direct my movements, touch me... something to let me know things are going right... or wrong.

 

If I wanted that kind of experience I'd have stayed with my ex. Bah.

[DigginIt 1,132]

If I wanted that kind of experience I'd have stayed with my ex. Bah.

 

Very funny...

 

I'm thankful that we have not had that experience yet although we were chatting with a swinger couple who we are friends with and talk about creepy...

 

The male half of the couple they were swinging with was saying things like, "this is our secret" ... "nobody needs to know" ... "your a good girl"

 

They left quickly but OMFG...that just freaks me out...I think I would have had to kick the guy out of the room on his ass if he said shit like that to my wife.

[slevin 1,374]

Except the masseuse is not expecting much feedback, if any. If it hurts, I'll tell you. Otherwise, do what I'm paying you to do.

 

Reaction, feedback, reciprocation... it's all vital to having good sex, and more so with a new partner. Moan a little, direct my movements, touch me... something to let me know things are going right... or wrong.

 

If I wanted that kind of experience I'd have stayed with my ex. Bah.

 

If the guy is a taker and the girl is a cold-fish maybe they are the perfect combination. He doesn't care if she just lies there as long as he gets to jump right to sex

[Dont.Stop 339]

If the guy is a taker and the girl is a cold-fish maybe they are the perfect combination. He doesn't care if she just lies there as long as he gets to jump right to sex

 

Yeah, that's what we surmised: They are perfect... for each other. We've had another couple give us the same review of them after the fact.

[2006couple 15]

The first time we swapped with a couple was their first time as well. Afterwards we found out that they had an argument earlier in the the day before meeting up with us because she found evidence that he was cheating or at least trying to cheat on her. The actual playdate was pretty disasterous (she wasn't into it and he couldn't keep an erection), and after a few follow-up communications we haven't heard from either of them since. It taught us a valuable lesson about going through with a date when you're not mentally or emotionally in the right place for it...we unfortunately had to put that plan into action recently, but the other couple appreciated our honesty and we're all looking forward to a make-up date as soon as our schedules allow it.

 

Recently we had another couple break off all ties with us out of nowhere and without explanation. Who knows what went wrong, but we're moving on and taking the "we're not asking" approach.

[BigNikki 43]

Big Nikki here.

Recently we had another couple break off all ties with us out of nowhere and without explanation.

 

It's so hard for people to do the right thing. And yet doing the right thing is never as hard as people expect. Just being human and humble makes it so much easier.

 

You deserved better.

 

And to repeat myself, I don't think John and I have driven anyone out, but who knows? What I do know is that we've recruited a lot and take considerable pride in it. (It may be easier for us than for others because while I'm winning in my manner, I'm really quite plain ((John is fairly handsome)) and that avoids intimidating people. You may think that hot people make the best recruiters, but I don't think so.)

 

I gotta start a thread on my thinking about recruiting. I'll do it, as soon as I get to the other threads I've promised to this really nifty board.

 

-- Big Nikki

[2006couple 15]

Big Nikki here.

 

 

It's so hard for people to do the right thing. And yet doing the right thing is never as hard as people expect. Just being human and humble makes it so much easier.

 

You deserved better.

 

 

Thank you for the kind words. It's been tough because we considered them to be friends, and losing that has been the most difficult part.

[twistedpretzels 100]

My new friends, Kim and Mike, were able to keep some friends who turned into play friends then turned into FRIENDS again as FRIENDS!!! I loved hearing this...and yes, sNikki, has correct thinking and words.... she be my fur-end too!!!

[sweet_tna 680]

I had to wrack my brain over this one . . . But I cannot recall anyone with whom we've played that disappeared from the lifestyle after playing with us. But there have been two couples that broke up after we'd play with them. But I know we weren't a factor in either case.

 

However, there is one couple with whom we had heavily flirted and were trying schedule a date. Someone else got the pleasure with them before we did, and that sent 'em running, so to speak.

 

Ce'st la vie!

[Chicup 41]

Ok we get one who was 'run off' for about 48 hours.

 

We meet a couple at a meet and greet. We play bar games and chat exclusively with them for close to 3 hours. Shes cute, hes ok but luckily Mrs. Chicup has a bigger strike zone than I do, so we talk about getting together again.

 

They mail us and we set up play date for the next weekend. Everything seems fine. I chat with her and everything is a go, I chat with him and get a bit of an odd vibe when he asks us for pictures. Now obviously if we never met thats perfectly understandable but we were just with them for three hours. Pictures can lie, hanging out not so much. Anyways we didn't have any face pictures up at the time and I pointed that out and everything seemed ok.

 

So two days before our date, suddenly their profile is blank with 'we're done' only listed. No note to us of course. So I mail them saying 'guess we are off for Friday, hope everything ok', I get some response back sort of 'we are working things out' asking if we ever took breaks in the lifestyle. So this sounded like a couple that was having issues.

 

Two days later their profile is back to normal. In the website chat room some weeks later I'm on when they are there and he actually asked for 'that picture' again.

 

All I can say is glad it didn't work out.

[MN Tom 251]

Ugh.. I really dislike those "hyper sensitive" types who quit and restart at the drop of a hat it seems. Definitely avoid them.

 

On one site we frequent there are a few people who play that game. Honestly we think it's attention whoring. "Everybody look at us!"

 

They announce that they are taking a break, they announce that they are back, they announce again that they are taking a break.. Every month it's a soap opera.

 

This went on for a few months until the site owner popped on one day and said "Please refrain from publically announcing that you are taking a break. Nobody else cares. Just fix your shit and return when you are ready"

 

 

 

Asking for pics after meeting in person.. Definitely odd. Would make sense if it was months ago when you met, but recently? Would cause us to pause for sure.

[JandC78 16]

Not sure that it is our fault, but it seems like everyone we touch lately runs away afterwards. we have met with 4 couples so far. 2 are gone, 1 is on the fence right now, and the other we just met once so far. Hopefully they stick around for awhile.

 

We are really wanting to meet a couple more people in our area (100 miles or so from 47803 area code) but so far have been striking out.

 

We have also been discussing a male to join us, but not too sure on how to find one that we can trust to just be there for a one and done deal, or one that does not want to text the wife all time. you know someone that is on call if we want them, but doesn't come around if we don't.

[MN Tom 251]

If you want to find a male like that, say that in the guidelines ahead of time. And then if you decide that you want to change some of those guidelines, discuss it.

 

Too often someone doesnt clearly state their desires, or they change and expect that the other person will change with them. Not saying this is you, but it's something we commonly see and hear complaints about.

 

We dont even look for SM's, yet we know several that operate under such a guideline. And several others who are more or less than that in terms of contact. SM's can be found to range from one and dones to full blown love affairs and everything in between. Heck my wife has had playmates that range around there.

 

One suggestion might be to ask other couples you know about references.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I wouldn't take any of it personally. Chances are those couples were new and realized after your encounter that they just were not ready.

 

As far as the single guy...you really have to take a leap of faith sometimes because you never really know and like MN Tom said...be verbal. Not the time to be shy.

 

Good luck.