Just got into lifestyle and wife is pregnant

[bimarriedguy82 17]

My wife and I just got into playing with others, and now she is pregnant. Has anyone on here played with other people while pregnant or have any guys played with a couple where the woman was pregnant? We are so excited about it since we just started, and don't want to wait months. Of course we would only play with people we trust and know are safe. Any thoughts or suggestions from anyone? Thanks

[ViSexual 1,008]

I don't think that being pregnant prevents swinging any more than it prevents sex between the couple themselves.

 

If you're wanting it and she's wanting it then I'm sure you can find a lot of guys who would love it. And, couples too.

 

I think one of the attractions that folks find in swining is the variety. It's having the opportunity to enjoy sex with partners that are different from what you have. And, if a guy has never been with a pregnant lady it's going to be a real experience for him, right? And, hey, since you're bisexual he'll get to explore the cause of the problem too! LOL!

 

So, don't worry about her condition and just have fun. That's what this is all about.

[bimarriedguy82 17]

I don't think that being pregnant prevents swinging any more than it prevents sex between the couple themselves.

 

If you're wanting it and she's wanting it then I'm sure you can find a lot of guys who would love it. And, couples too.

 

I think one of the attractions that folks find in swining is the variety. It's having the opportunity to enjoy sex with partners that are different from what you have. And, if a guy has never been with a pregnant lady it's going to be a real experience for him, right? And, hey, since you're bisexual he'll get to explore the cause of the problem too! LOL!

 

So, don't worry about her condition and just have fun. That's what this is all about.

 

Thanks for the reply. Since we are new to this we just didnt know if its a turn off for people or what. My wife is always super horny when she is pregnant so thats another reason we want to do it. And like you said if the guy joining is bi I can always let me wife rest and take care of him lol. Do you have any thoughts on anything that we should avoid? Like is DP still ok? Just kind of weird to ask her doctor that stuff.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

There was a very similar thread about two or three months ago, and I think chicup made a compelling argument about why you should quit swinging until after the baby is born.

 

Congratulations, and best of luck.

[Chicup 41]

Yeah, I would hope my post about covers it, but remember you can not 'trust' ANYONE really in the lifestyle 100%. No matter how good they seem, people lie. If its just you, that's fine, you take that risk, we all do, but when you have an expecting child, its a completely different matter.

 

Having an acute STD infection at the time of delivery greatly complicates the delivery at best, and may infect your child, possibly even blinding them if its hsv-2. I personally wouldn't want to look into my child's blank eyes for the rest of their life knowing I was the cause of it.

 

Harsh, I know, but it is simply NOT worth the risk. You waited for years, you can wait the 10+ months.

[bimarriedguy82 17]

Yea, I would hope my post about covers it, but remember you can not 'trust' ANYONE really in the lifestyle 100%. No matter how good they seem, people lie. If its just you, thats fine, you take that risk, we all do, but when you have an expecting child, its a completely different matter.

 

Having an acute STD infection at the time of delivery greatly complicates the delivery at best, and may infect your child, possibly even blinding them if its hsv-2. I personally wouldn't want to look into my childs blank eyes for the rest of their life knowing I was the cause of it.

 

Harsh, I know, but it is simply NOT worth the risk. You waited for years, you can wait the 10+ months.

 

I appreciate the advice and understand what you are saying. Obviously the saftey of our baby comes before anything else. So far my wife and I have only played with people we know personally and have known for years, so we can trust them. We have not met anyone from any sites or clubs yet and dont plan on doing that until after the baby is born

[ViSexual 1,008]

You mentioned not wanting to ask your doctor these things? That is a real problem, isn't it? It's a shame that there's not a directory for family doctors in the lifestyle so we could know who to go to in our local areas.

[LFM2 1,482]

I appreciate the advice and understand what you are saying. Obviously the saftey of our baby comes before anything else. So far my wife and I have only played with people we know personally and have known for years, so we can trust them. We have not met anyone from any sites or clubs yet and dont plan on doing that until after the baby is born

 

IMO, seems like you already had your mind made up before you even asked the question. I think maybe you were just looking for validation to continue to play.

 

I really hope you meant that the safety of your child is more important.

 

I can see why your excitement for sexual variety might be getting in the way of your goal, which is a healthy infant.

 

Even the closest of friends can be dishonest when it comes to sex. They're just human and want sex, too. Some people, believe it or not, will lie (even if by omission) to get sex. People are generally honest, but I've never really trusted any of my partners 100%. Even those I've known for years. Swinging is a gamble. I lay (no pun) myself on the line, but I would never gamble with the health of an infant.

 

I work as an OB/GYN nurse in a busy hospital. I've seen countless women come in with genital warts/herpes lesions so bad that they have to have a cesarean-section to prevent what Chicup's article stated so well. I've seen the effects it impacts on a family. Whether these women were swingers isn't relevant, but the fact that STD's are so prevalent that those you place so much trust in may not even know they're passing it from one person (themselves) to another.

 

Sex with others shouldn't be so important that you'd risk the health of an innocent fetus.

 

There could be a compromise here somewhere where you can still have that sexual tension and fun with another couple, but only you penetrate your wife. Kind of a tone-down version of swinging, but not really swapping. Just a thought.

[Learning 160]

I'm pregnant right now and really I'm following the advice that I asked on the boards. My babys future is more important to me than a romp with my favorite lifestyle friends. Yes, I am totally sad that the lifestyle is on the back burner completely but I coukd not live with myself knowing that I place my child in harms way. I truly miss the lifestyle the thing is that we know who we swing with is safe but can I trust who they swing with is? Nope. We are out until next fall probably if we decide to come back. It's just nit worth it. Weigh your pros/cons out, it's your decision but I weighed mine out and with a heavy heart, we opted out.

[slevin 1,374]

Perhaps this is a naive question, but I mean it with sincerity:

 

What is the difference between swinging while not pregnant, catching an STD that isn't curable with antibiotics then getting pregnant, and swinging while pregnant and catching the same? Isn't the end result that you're pregnant with an STD? Wouldn't the impact and risk to the baby be the same?

[Chicup 41]

Perhaps this is a naive question, but I mean it with sincerity:

 

What is the difference between swinging while not pregnant, catching an STD that isn't curable with antibiotics then getting pregnant, and swinging while pregnant and catching the same? Isn't the end result that you're pregnant with an STD? Wouldn't the impact and risk to the baby be the same?

 

Not all STD's are incurable for one thing.

 

Of those that are, having an acute infection is normally worse and more contagious then the chronic one.

 

With things like HSV-2 they take certain precautions when a woman is pregnant to not have the baby exposed at birth. You may have the STD if its new and not even know it yet.

 

So basically you are increasing the risk to your child.

[PB&J 1,086]

And isn't it the case that if you are exposed to an STD while pregnant, certain treatments or medications would not be considered safe to a developing fetus that could be safely administered to a non-pregnant woman? Certainly many meds were off-limits to me as a pregnant woman that I could have taken quite easily if I did not have my child's safety to consider.

 

Honestly, if I had my child's health to consider vs a few physical thrills that could be postponed to a later date, the answer would be ridiculously easy.

[Chicup 41]

Yes, that's a great point that I didn't mention.

[slevin 1,374]

Not all STD's are incurable for one thing.

 

Of those that are, having an acute infection is normally worse and more contagious then the chronic one.

 

With things like HSV-2 they take certain precautions when a woman is pregnant to not have the baby exposed at birth. You may have the STD if its new and not even know it yet.

 

So basically you are increasing the risk to your child.

 

That's why I specified ones you couldn't easily cure. Although PB&J brought up an excellent point about why even curable ones may not be able to be handled. I wouldn't assume that is the case, but better to be safe in the lack of evidence to the contrary.

 

So basically, an unknown STD or a more 'current' STD may introduce a higher risk. Especially since HSV-2 frequently has flareups during the first year and fewer over time.

 

If we ever decide to try and have kids we'll definitely be taking a break until after the kid is born.

[ViSexual 1,008]

Hey Holly,

Now we know you're up in the distant northwest but you could be our medical laison here on the board, right?

Seriously, do you know any doctors who might answer some of our questions with professional advice? Just a thought.

[LFM2 1,482]

Hey Holly,

Now we know you're up in the distant northwest but you could be our medical laison here on the board, right?

Seriously, do you know any doctors who might answer some of our questions with professional advice? Just a thought.

 

There are others here who are much more intelligent than I am in regards to medicine. My specialty is labor/delivery and mother/infant care. It's really hard to give medical advice on a board, and if you don't know quite what the person is asking or there is a lack of communication somewhere, it could be quite serious. You're better off checking with your own personal physician. It's a policy of every medical person I know to not give out medical advice over the phone and instead, encourage them to come to a the hospital for evaluation.

 

I think there are physicians on this board as well. I know a lot of physicians, and probably none that would give medical advice as they can be held liable for their answers. It's hard to treat what you can't see.

 

Seriously, a lot of medical issues come down to common sense. Believe it or not, that's lacking in a lot of people.

[bimarriedguy82 17]

I really appreciate everyones input and all of your concern over our new baby. I understand that people will lie and withold the truth in order to have sex, but out friends are basically family, so it would be like your own brother purposly having sex with your pregnant wife knowing he is exposing her and the baby to an STD. We are not playing with anyone that is playing with any other people. My wife has just as much of a chance getting an STD from me, which means it is a 0% chance. My question was more along the lines of any types of intercourse that would be physically unsafe. But again, that you all for your concern

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

My question was more along the lines of any types of intercourse that would be physically unsafe. But again, that you all for your concern

 

The best person to answer that is an OB/GYN. I don't recall any specific instructions from our OB/GYN when my wife was pregnant. It was more up to the wife and how she was feeling.

[LFM2 1,482]

The best person to answer that is an OB/GYN. I don't recall any specific instructions from our OB/GYN when my wife was pregnant. It was more up to the wife and how she was feeling.

 

I agree. I would bet that the OB/GYN would probably say as long as she's feeling up to it, go for it.

 

How does your wife feel? I would say do it however she feels comfortable.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

One in four women and one in five men have hsv2 (herpes simplex virus). 90% don't know they have it. Unless your friends have shown you negative lab work for hsv you don't know they are safe. If your wife has a first episode of hsv late in the pregnancy or during the delivery it is a serious problem.