I'm a curious but confused wife. Should we swing?
By
Violet75, in Curious About Swinging?
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Similar Content
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By Stevnjack
I’m newly married, this isn’t my first marriage. My husband and I have been thinking about going into this lifestyle, but I’m worried that once I come home he may never be enough and vice versa? Is this a common feeling? Am I ready? Are we ready? Well I know he is, but am I?
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By funstuff
Hey guys,
We're new to this whole swinging thing and haven't gotten started yet. The one thing that really bugs me is safety! Obviously condoms for intercourse are a given.
I read an article the other day about how rampant mouth/throat cancer has become because of HPV transmitted through oral sex.
Oral sex with condoms is just about worse than no oral sex at all!
Don't know what to do... how do you all handle safety?!
Thanks!
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By mncurious
My wife recently returned from opening up our marriage for the first time. It was with a man she met on a recent trip overseas. We talked about it and planned her return trip for months. He sent her any documents she requested and had no problem talking to me if I wanted to. We agreed to split the costs for the trip.
We established clear boundaries and communication expectations. They spent an entire week together and used most of the condoms my wife and I bought for the trip. Only once did the condom break but since we use script birth control, we are not concerned as he gave her proof of being std free. She's still concerned and wants to get tested before we have sex bareback again. We still haven't had sex since she returned.
About the experience
This was also my very White wife's first time having sex with a Black man. She's 42, her lover's 47. Let's just say she loved her first time having a Black lover. Her orgasms were beyond intense seeing his BBC slip inside of her. His, too as it was his first interracial relationship, too. He was also much more dominant and assertive during sex with my wife and was able to take her from behind and bring her to climax which is very hard to do. I'm much more chill during sex and like her to take the lead. She's okay but much prefers his style.
The only issue from the trip was that one time the condom came off during sex and they didn't notice until it was too late. My wife's a little nervous and is being tested asap, at least for any stds.
Since she returned, we haven't had time to connect sexually due to jet lag, kids, and work. She said it was a really great liberating experience overall. My wife still keeps in touch with him even though they both agreed it was mainly about sex, not a relationship. There seems to be plenty of NRE.
What is the reality from the group here when a married White wife not only has her first swinging experience but with a Black man for the first time, too. So many firsts!
Should I be concerned about anything or is this natural and normal for my wife to want him again so quickly after her first time opening up our marriage? Or is it also being with a Black man who by her own words was so amazing and incredible? Or is it just NRE with her new lover? They definitely have some emotional attachment after being together for an entire week 24/7. Lots of sex, kissing,and travel together. From what she said, their mutual attraction has little to do with race and more to do with just a visceral physical and emotional connection.
We agreed not to share social media messages or emails between my wife and her lover unless she wants to. We also talked about swinging once she returned but she has already talked about going back to see him in Europe next year. They still keep in touch and talk after the trip.
Does this sound like a poly relationship developing or just NRE from the long swinging adventure?
Thanks for the advice and please reply on or offline.
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By Swingers5209
Hi, so wife and I are comfortable with the swingers lifestyle but we have said that we are both ok with sleeping with people separately. However, we have come across a problem and I'm not sure if I'm the problem or if she is.
My wife has been in the lifestyle for far longer than me and has a vast amount of experience. A while ago we went to a club and there she met the club manager and they started talking. After leaving the club they carried on chatting on a daily basis, and when I asked her what they where talking about she would say that they always talk about work or stuff friends would talk about. However last night i found out that they have been flirting with each other.
Problem is when we started swinging we said that communication is the most important thing to keep us safe from any complications.
I feel that we have to discuss and inform each other when we are talking or flirting with others and she feels that there is no need to inform me if she is flirting with others.
Am I been unreasonable by asking her to tell me when she is flirting with guys and is it unreasonable for me to have gotten upset about her telling me they only talk about work stuff only to find out there is more involved?
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