Occasional swingers

[StevieBlueEyes 48]

I'm just wondering, how many of you only swing once and a while? My wife and I had our first experience this past August on vacation and really enjoyed it. After talking about it, we want to have more experiences, but we are more interested in it being an occasional thing, probably out of town. We are thinking that we should just plan a few trips a year to Montreal or Toronto and/or take one vacation per year to a swinger friendly resort. I guess it's a bit of a psychological thing - we can take breaks from our normals lives where the rules go out the window, but during our day to day lives, we want to mostly play by the rules (unless something interesting happens without much effort).

 

Is this uncommon or frowned upon? After spending some time reading this board, there are clearly many people for whom the lifestyle is as a normal a part of their lives as taking the kids to soccer practice. I would like to hear from other couples that compartmentalize their extracurricular activities and see how that works out for them.

[lustylearning 705]

Sure, there are plenty of folks who only swing once in awhile. Awhile is a few days for some, a couple of weeks for others, a month, a year... I'm sure you get the picture. There is no mold you need to fit. You only need to do what works for you.

 

Does anyone frown on the blue moon swinger? I guess some do. Does it really matter?

[Learning 160]

Your plan sounds excellent! I'm expecting a little one right now so we are in retirement but when the little one comes we have no idea what swinging will look like then.DH and I

were chatting about this on and it might be only a few times a year like you all and that's okay. Our vanilla life is more important than swinging

[two4youinswva 3,068]

There's probably as many, if not more, "once in a while" swingers on the board as there are frequent swingers. It can seem like a lot of us on the board are playing every weekend, but not that many actually do.

 

Beyond that, I can't imagine why anyone would have a problem with how often you swing. The only rules are the ones you put into place.

[socolais 696]

This is a great question, and Lusty, I like that term "blue moon swinger".

 

When we got started in this, it was like a new toy. We went to the monthly parties most months. Now, we're comfortable with swinging a couple times a year. I guess everyone finds their own comfort zone and makes it work for them.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I'm expecting a little one right now so we are in retirement but when the little one comes we have no idea what swinging will look like then.

 

Learning, swinging will look like a great deal more effort. Then again, with a newborn around many things will look like a great deal more effort due to the late nights, lol.

 

Young ones do add a degree of difficulty to swinging, but nothing that can't be dealt with.

 

As for occasional swingers, whatever works for you. I wish w were not as occasional as we are, and that some of our favorite playmates were not either. But real life needs to be attended to. If you have the wherewithal to be an every weekend swinger, more power to you, if not, just take it as it comes.

[shrevecouple 252]

DH and I

were chatting about this on and it might be only a few times a year like you all and that's okay. Our vanilla life is more important than swinging

 

This is my view on swinging pretty much in a nutshell. A little break from the norm here or there. I really do think some people/couples let it consume them and I personally don't think that's a real healthy habit.

[LFM2 1,482]

There's probably as many, if not more, "once in a while" swingers on the board as there are frequent swingers. It can seem like a lot of us on the board are playing every weekend, but not that many actually do.

 

Beyond that, I can't imagine why anyone would have a problem with how often you swing. The only rules are the ones you put into place.

 

Yep... Swinging is exactly what you make it to be. I wish we could swing more than we do, but that dang life gets in the way. We get to go out and have fun only occasionally, but that's good for us and we're pretty much happy that way.

[Chicup 42]

Outside of a few furious bursts of swinging activity, we are only occasional swingers.

 

To much to do, too little time, too few babysitters.

 

Personally I'd rather hook up with occasional swinger than every weekend swingers just because they most likely have the same issues we do finding time and don't mind planing a month in advance. Some people just think you can always be spontaneous.

[shrevecouple 252]

 

To much to do, too little time, too few babysitters.

 

 

Amen!

[JM153 346]

Swinging is like any other activity. There are some people who go to sporting events at least once a week and some that go dancing every week, and some who swing at least once a week, etc. On the other hand there are people who only go out once in awhile. And just like any other new activity when you add swinging to your schedule you have to decide how much time you want to devote to it and what you may have to give up to make that time possible. So the answer is whatever works for you is great and as you can see from the responses there is a wide variety of frequency on this board and it also changes from time to time as interest and life changes. Have fun and stay around here and contribute whenever you have time.

[MN Tom 251]

I'll third the babysitters comment.

 

Occasional is just a mindset, just depends on how you look at it. Like many things in life, some people will be more involved, some less.

[StevieBlueEyes 48]

Thanks for all the great responses! My wife and I just recently decided that we need to make some friends down in New York. We are down there often enough that it would probably be a perfect amount of adventure. At least down there, we have a dog sitter so we don't have to worry about rushing home!! Got help us when we have kids.

[padoc 1,704]

Referring to swinging as a "lifestyle" is good shorthand but implies that that is pretty much all that we do. Of course there are some real hard core folks who truly live for their next swinging encounter while planning for the one after that. Most folks are like you (or us), people with lives, families, jobs, obligations, kid and dog sitter issues, and vanilla friends. All of that tends to limit most of us to being somewhat occasional swingers. I think that most of us understand that while it would be nice to be able to get naked with another couple whenever the mood strikes, reality dictates that some things must take priority over playtime. That's why swinging is an adult activity.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

There are probably just as many or more swingers who only swing once in a while as there are those who swing every weekend. We haven't actually "played" with another couple in about 2 years! I should be careful someone might revoke my swinger card! We've just had other issues that have prevented it and taken priority.

[LFM2 1,482]

I should be careful someone might revoke my swinger card!

 

You have a card?

[PittCouple412 15]

I guess we qualify as "occasional"...we'd love to be full-time, but we get the "run around" from so many people that we wind up meeting "real" people only every now and then!

[friskyous 17]

Us too...