"Ultra-light" swing questions

[Swingoneway 74]

I've heard of soft swapping, but this feels more like an ultra-light kind of thing! My wife and I have talked a lot about swinging and other "swingish" activities. In the relationship, I'm the crazy one; willing to try new things, open minded, morally free (I have morals, they just don't sway me that much) She's the conservative one; happy with more vanilla things, has more moral guidance than I do, but has a wild imagination.

 

Through lots of talking (and a couple *ahem* disagreements) I think we've pegged down what we (okay, the limits are hers, I'm the crazy one) comfortable with.

 

1. No swapping.

2. Sex in same room with another couple would be fine, being naked, etc. Just no cross touching.

3. Sex online for others to watch sounds exciting. (though difficult, see below)

4. She's free to flirt, play with, and / or screw my guy friend (he's single and they've messed around before)

 

Now here comes the parts I'd like advice with. First, we find the idea of having sex on camera to be thrilling. Problem is, most webcam sites (chatroulette, etc) have rules against such things, not to mention minors. What are our options there?

 

Also, she gave me permission to go to strip clubs by myself. She's never given permission for anything like that ever...she's very possessive of me. She says she would try going with me, but likely sit in a dark corner and try to hide. Should I take her, go by myself (more likely with my friend) or just avoid it altogether?

[N8ture Girl 318]

I've heard of soft swapping, but this feels more like an ultra-light kind of thing! My wife and I have talked a lot about swinging and other "swingish" activities. In the relationship, I'm the crazy one; willing to try new things, open minded, morally free (I have morals, they just don't sway me that much) She's the conservative one; happy with more vanilla things, has more moral guidance than I do, but has a wild imagination.

 

Through lots of talking (and a couple *ahem* disagreements) I think we've pegged down what we (okay, the limits are hers, I'm the crazy one) comfortable with.

 

1. No swapping.

2. Sex in same room with another couple would be fine, being naked, etc. Just no cross touching.

3. Sex online for others to watch sounds exciting. (though difficult, see below)

4. She's free to flirt, play with, and / or screw my guy friend (he's single and they've messed around before)

 

Now here comes the parts I'd like advice with. First, we find the idea of having sex on camera to be thrilling. Problem is, most webcam sites (chatroulette, etc) have rules against such things, not to mention minors. What are our options there?

 

Also, she gave me permission to go to strip clubs by myself. She's never given permission for anything like that ever...she's very possessive of me. She says she would try going with me, but likely sit in a dark corner and try to hide. Should I take her, go by myself (more likely with my friend) or just avoid it altogether?

 

These are my opinions so take them for what their worth. For me, this isnt swinging by any means. But what really matters is that your BOTH comfortable with the rules.

#1 Ok I get that.

#2 If I understand you mean sex with only each other and no touching the other couple? Please correct me if I'm wrong. This is possible, but will only likely happen at clubs in open play areas. However you may find a couple willing to do this out side a club.

#3 Not sure about this one, live web cam with another couple maybe, but unless you can see them too, I would becareful.

#4 She can play with your friend, but you cant play with anyone? Seems one sided to me, but its what your both cool with.

As far as visiting a strip club, I dont have an answer there!

 

I think you both still need to do more talking. How do you feel about not being able to play with other women? Like I said if both of you are 100% ok with the arrangements then go for it! Just know that most people that swing, are either soft swap or full swap and do it for the sex. We would have no interest in these types of activities. We have done the web cam thing a few times and it was thrilling, but its not what we are in to. Your pool of willing couples might be small.

 

Good luck!

[Swingoneway 74]

These are my opinions so take them for what their worth. For me, this isnt swinging by any means. But what really matters is that your BOTH comfortable with the rules.

#1 Ok I get that.

#2 If I understand you mean sex with only each other and no touching the other couple? Please correct me if I'm wrong. This is possible, but will only likely happen at clubs in open play areas. However you may find a couple willing to do this out side a club.

#3 Not sure about this one, live web cam with another couple maybe, but unless you can see them too, I would becareful.

#4 She can play with your friend, but you cant play with anyone? Seems one sided to me, but its what your both cool with.

As far as visiting a strip club, I dont have an answer there!

 

I think you both still need to do more talking. How do you feel about not being able to play with other women? Like I said if both of you are 100% ok with the arrangements then go for it! Just know that most people that swing, are either soft swap or full swap and do it for the sex. We would have no interest in these types of activities. We have done the web cam thing a few times and it was thrilling, but its not what we are in to. Your pool of willing couples might be small.

 

Good luck!

 

I'm cool with not playing with a woman. I get turned on seeing her getting pleasured, and by having someone watch us have sex. As far as the webcam thing, yeah I know, the pool is small for couples. However, we've "performed" for a guy or two, and enjoyed it...my wife loves watching them masturbate to us

[couplers 4,591]

Hello, this is Petra. Years ago I went maybe a total of 15 times to strip clubs with my guys (individually, that is, not together), and it can be lots of fun for a girl, a real turn on if:

• The club is nice. They range from very comfortable to fear-for-your life.
  
• The girls are good looking. They aren't always.
  
• You like looking at naked or near-naked women. For me it's not a problem.
  
• You like seeing your guy get turned on by other women. If that bothers you at all (including talking about how a girl has a firm ass, great breasts, etc.), don't go.
  

I never worried about being seen there, everyone is in the same situation, like a nude spa, you get over it in a minute. It struck me as extremely ironic that some hot college girl can be up there dancing in a way that even captures my interest for the sheer beauty of it and 80% of the guys are watching - the game on TV! BTW, places near large colleges are the best, truck depots the worst.

 

 

Also, there was one place that was nice but had a small lezzie clientele, in case two girls holding hands bothers you.

[Palatex 52]

Sounds like your 1-3 rules are pretty much identical to ours. She, however, is free to experiment with other women if she chooses to. Other "rules" I suppose can be flexible, but the only hard and fast rule (to coin a phrase) we have is that anything we do in this "lifestyle", we do it together - period. We're a package deal.

[GomezAddams 45]

If you can afford it, try bringing her to Hedo in Jamaica or Desire in Mexico. They are clothing optional, no pressure environments. You can watch/be watched, be naked or whatever without any stress on anyone.

[Swingoneway 74]

If you can afford it, try bringing her to Hedo in Jamaica or Desire in Mexico. They are clothing optional, no pressure environments. You can watch/be watched, be naked or whatever without any stress on anyone.

 

As much fun as those places sound, it will be years before I can just toss that kind of money. Kids put a hell of a kink in the wallet.

[Chicup 41]

morally free (I have morals, they just don't sway me that much)

 

 

Now maybe I'm reading too much into this but if you think swinging is immoral on some level, odds are you need to really rethink it.

 

I am a very moral person, but my morals are about hurting other people, not where I put my penis as long as doing so doesn't hurt other people.

[Swingoneway 74]

Yeah, you are thinking too much into it. My morals are very much like yours. My wife, while admitting these activities sound fun, also admits to having some lingering moral issues. Her parents were rather conservative, shes trying to shed that mold though.

[shrevecouple 252]

One thing for sure when it comes to the "lifestyle" is "to each their own" IMO. Every couple will have rules that are different from the next. They are right for that couple and should be respected not necessarily understood. I admit that I struggle with this sometimes when say I come across and "open" couple because that's something we will not do because we know it won't work for us. We are like Palatex, whatever we do within the lifestyle is going to be together. If those rules are what works for both of you at the moment then that's fine no matter what everyone else is or isn't doing. Of course if at any moment one of you begins to think differently then immediately discuss it.

Here's my opinion on the strip clubs. I am willing to bet she is trying to test her own boundaries on this. I would suggest she go. I think its way better to see whats going on than to leave it to the imagination. Even though she knows that its a looking and not touching environment the imagination can be a horrible thing sometimes. You could still come home to many questions that you many not answer right and she could end up resentful that you went.

[LFM2 1,482]

 

Now maybe I'm reading too much into this but if you think swinging is immoral on some level, odds are you need to really rethink it.

 

I am a very moral person, but my morals are about hurting other people, not where I put my penis as long as doing so doesn't hurt other people.

 

DITTO!

[padoc 1,703]

I gotta ask....What's the point? If you're not going to touch or interact physically, it's not swinging. You'd do just as well buying a big HD tv and good quality porn. That way, you won't run the risk of misleading or disappointing the other couple.

[shrevecouple 252]

I gotta ask....What's the point? If you're not going to touch or interact physically, it's not swinging. You'd do just as well buying a big HD tv and good quality porn. That way, you won't run the risk of misleading or disappointing the other couple.

 

I think the point is the sexual environment and live porn would be way hotter than the tv. Quite possibly too for the new and timid it may serve as a simpler introduction into the lifestyle...seeing your partners reactions to seeing another man/woman naked and having sex and getting comfortable with that first. Some people are just too scared/shy to dive right in and my add a few more steps than most. Better to be safe than sorry right and have fewer missteps or regrets.

 

And I am sure the other couple would be well aware of the rules beforehand so I don't see the disappointment factor.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

There are websites geared towards having sex on cam and watching others do the same. You will most likely have to pay a membership for such a site. Free sites will have minors (no way around it). I'd suggest posting an ad on one of the major swinger sites that has a built in cam option and being upfront about what you are looking for, you will most likely find others more than happy to indulge in some cam sex with you guys.

 

If your wife is scared to go into a strip club with you, and you worry she will end up in the corner hiding, I doubt she's really going to be comfortable having sex in the same room with others doing the same. I'd say start with the cam sex and go from there. Once she feels comfortable in that setting she may feel more comfortable trying other new things.