Preferences of Age differences in playmates

[Playingnow 39]

We have this age difference question for all.

 

Why do different aged groups have difficulties swinging with different aged people? Younger people frown on older ones, older ones frown on younger people.

 

We ran into this at a party we hosted. A young couple in their early 20s would not allow anyone older than them to play with them which even though we hit it off verbally and enjoyed their conversations, disappointed us telling us we were too old, making us feel inadequate to play.

 

A friend of ours says she has no desire to play with younger people because she feels like she is playing with her own children (She has none). ?????

 

I have no problem playing with any age group younger or older but my wife has this hangup as many do.

 

The difference I notice is the younger women have much more energy and tend to be more orgasmic than older women. Watching younger guys with my wife, I notice they are much more energetic and make her more orgasmic than I can.

Older couples we have played with tend to be more laid back and I have to work a little more to get her to orgasm.

 

If this makes any since at all.

 

I would love to hear why you would or wouldn't play with different age groups. A poll perhaps? Would you play with a couple much younger/ older than you?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Playingnow said:

I would love to hear why you would or wouldn't play with different age groups....Would you play with a couple much younger/ older than you?

 

How do you define "much younger/older?" Ten, 15, 20 year spread? Since you mention getting turned away by a couple in their 20s, I'm curious, how old are you and your wife?

 

We've played with people 20+ years our junior, but we've never played with anyone older. We're already up there in age and there are few people in our area older than us (or even at our age) to choose from.

 

Age is a preference, like anything else, and we don't see a problem with people who wish to play within a tighter age range. The differences you notice with age, I see as assets too, taking it slower is nice now and then, whether young or old.

[ALilOEverything 901]

It's not a hard fast rule for us to avoid significant age differences but we generally put more time and effort into our own age range because we tend to have more in common. The more we have in common with a couple the easier it is to talk and get to know each other. That's not to say I can't find common ground with someone much older or younger (we're 36) but it's easier to put our effort where we know we have the best success in compatibility.

[VegasLee 1,486]

You may run into some with age restrictions but we have found that is not the case most of the time at an on premise party.

 

We have people from their 20's to their 70's at the party and they all seem to find people to play with and most often it is not people their own age.

 

Honestly, I am finding the older I get the younger the ladies seem to be that approach me. For many that would be a good thing but I am not personally attracted to very young women.

 

I would not be concerned about what you ran into this time, it is different at most every party.

 

Each to their own.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

A young couple in their early 20s would not allow anyone older than them to play with them which even though we hit it off verbally and enjoyed their conversations, disappointed us telling us we were too old, making us feel inadequate to play.

 

According to your profile on here, you two are in your early fifties. That would be roughly a 30 year difference. While for you and I it seems like only yesterday we were in our 20's, for that couple, 50 seems like an eternity away. Chances are, you are older than their parents. That freaks a lot of people out for whatever reason.

 

In the end, people like what they like, and really, I don't understand why you would feel inadequate because of someone else's age preferences. You'll feel a lot better if you can develop a thicker skin about being rejected, no matter the reason.

[padoc 1,703]

Swinging (and attraction) is visual and physical. Of course a hard body couple in their 20's are a pleasure to look and who wouldn't want to touch and/or play with them? However, attraction is a 2 way street and while we see 2 sexy young bodies, they may see their mom and dad when they look at us. Does that make us feel inadequate? It shouldn't. We've earned our graying hair and we've been on the planet long enough that gravity is starting to win. We can't choose how old we are but we (and they) can choose who we play with. Its that simple.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Playingnow said:

We ran into this at a party we hosted. A young couple in their early 20s would not allow anyone older than them to play with them which even though we hit it off verbally and enjoyed their conversations, disappointed us telling us we were too old, making us feel inadequate to play.

Looking back at this comment, you probably invited them to your party hoping to make a connection for play. When you found that your guests were rejecting you - the hosts - I wonder if you felt miffed more for that reason than the age thing (?)...possibly you felt those who would accept your party invite would only do so if they were interested in playing with you.

 

We have always been most comfortable with people within 10 years age of ourselves because we have found more in common with them and that makes play more enjoyable for us.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Pure and simple, it's preference. In the end it does not really mater why they have a particular preference, they just do.

 

When we started out swinging, my wife and I had different desires in age range. We are in our mid (me) and early (her) 40's, She preferred our age or older and I preferred our age and younger, but neither of us had hard and fast rules about age, it was just a guide. I think for me it was just a preconception about younger nubile bodies that turned me on. In the end it truly comes down to attraction. I can't speak for why she has her preferences (I am not sure she knows for sure), but I respect her desires.

 

We have played with couples and singles from their 20's to 50's. As we have become more experienced, we have both shifted our ranges a bit, she now looks at younger men more, while keeping her upper range about the same. I have shifted my entire range up. There are a few reason for this. Here is some of what we have learned from experience.

 

1. With the younger crowd we have experienced a bit more drama. That is really an issue of maturity rather than age, but it tends to happen more with he younger crowd. There is a SF poster on this forum, I can't remember her name, but she is in her mid 20's I think, but seems very mature. She is unusual in that regard, in our experience.

 

2. Some of the hottest, sexiest, orgasmic women I have met have been older than me. Not to mention they are great in bed. It kind of blew the stereotypes I had when I came into the lifestyle out of the water. Just because they are older does not mean they can't be HOT. One of my playmates is a decade older than me and has a body 20 somethings would kill for. Another, my age, has a body that literally looks like she is in her mid 20's, but she is a fitness instructor so she really stays in shape. The point is age is really just a number.

 

3. We tend to think of ourselves as younger than we actually are. I am not sure it is self delusion or if it is true, but we look, act and think younger than most of our contemporaries. I found that to be true of many we have met in the lifestyle. So for us, being with someone a decade or more younger doesn't really seem strange. But younger people rarely think of themselves as older, its just not natural.

 

4. We like to get to know people a bit better before we have sex. We have found it difficult to make the connection/find chemistry with the younger crowd. We are at different places in our lives and careers. While we can relate to where younger people are in their lives, it is sometime difficult for them to relate with us. We have been through were they are and have perspective, they are still in the middle of it. So making a connection is sometimes more difficult.

 

5. Some of the least satisfying experiences have been with couples much younger than us, some of the best, with older. Don't get hung up on the age, look for great experiences.

 

6. I actually had a young playmate tell me, right in the middle of playing, that I was almost her dad's age. Some men might take that as a ego boost, but it creeped me out a bit. Needless to say , it put a dent in my enthusiasm.

 

So yes, we do play with couple much younger than us, but we don't actively search for them. When looking for playmates we tend to stay within 10 years up or down, but we never rule people out simply because of age.

[exploringRM 305]

On our profile our stated age range is 28 to 58 I think. I doubt we will get much opportunity with the younger crowd as we are soon to be 50 & 51. But we have been with people in their mid 30s. Older than 58, if they are attractive we would go there as well. Much younger is getting too close to our kids ages.

 

My wife was flirting with a hot 25 year old guy at a meet & greet. Had there been a room I think they would have gone off, but that was a rare occurance. As long as we like the couple and find them attractice I think we be ok within our age range.

[Chicup 41]

When we started swinging I thought mid 30's was too old.

 

If I were in my 20's there is NO way I'd be interested in playing with people my parents age, no matter how good a shape they were in.

[good times 991]

We haven't found this to be the case at all. While we have occasionally seen people state a preference for playmates younger than we are in their online profiles, at the clubs we have never had it come up. We have played with couples in their low 20's to mid 60's. In reality, it often surprises me when we get approached for play by a couple significantly younger than us (we are 48 & 51), but I am not complaining.

 

It wouldn't surprise me if a young couple would use this as an excuse/explanation to avoid advances from someone older that they do not find attractive though.

[exploringRM 305]

I was chatting with the guy half of a couple who live not far from us. I had seen their profile, they are 34/35 and we really don't have time to meet new people right now. But he initiated so we talked a little.

 

He mentioned they are finding older couples more stable, less hang-ups and more open to friendship than people in their age range. Of course not a scientific study, just passing on person's viewpoint.

[GPHTallCouple 69]

When I saw the title my first though on age difference was those couples with 20 year age differences. I don't know what to think there. So far, we haven't hooked up with any, most of them smoke but I'm sure we will run into one in the future that doesn't. I worry that he has the young filly at home, can I rate with that for playtime and is she looking for more because he cant' keep up? I have to remember to not have expectations that things will not work out and just relax and enjoy it for what it is.

 

I think that's the trick with age differences, if someone younger than me is attracted to me, I shouldn't care (thought I have trouble with it). Initially, I wanted to stay around my age plus or minus ten years. I thought I wouldn't be attractive to someone younger. Then I got realizing, wait if someone younger says hello, flirts with or talks with me they ARE attracted and I should go with it. Its still a work in progress on that...

 

I have a hard time with older, which I shouldn't. I spent 23 years in the military, so I dated men in good shape who took care of themselves. When I first retired I was shocked and dismayed at how horrible people many of the people my own age looked. I'm getting used to it now. Also, there seems to be a lot of people who either lie about their age (ten or twenty years younger ) or time has been very unkind to them. I saw one profile that had age of late 40s that looked 65ish in their pics recently. Has anyone else ran into older that they thought were lying about their ages?

[Olivesman 15]

We find that since we are older and have white hair (ain't gonna dye it!!), we have people coming up and congratulating us for still breathing after we come off the dance floor.

 

Now we may be newbies but we have enjoyed ourselves at the clubs we have visited- in spite of stares from others. But then we have met some very cordial people. So we go for fun, whether it's between us two alone or with those couples we have had conversations. Maybe we are not ready to fully play, but if and when we do, someone is going to be in for a very pleasant surprise!

 

Age seems to be more of an attitude than chronological.

[MsGoneWild 182]

I am a younger 20-something. I have a BIG age limitation. And I don't say preference, I say LIMIT.

 

Granted, I do not go to clubs/swinger clubs/bars/parties without knowing who is attending first, and I wouldn't even consider attending unless I've met people prior. I'm not a big club person. My preferred way is to meet interested people through the internet (swinger and dating sites). It works really well, but my age preferences are very limited. I freely admit this and am very upfront with it.

 

Its just what everyone said. My parents are in their 50s. The idea of having sexual relations with anyone my parents age (who looks like them or not) is a compete turn off. Its not that I find older people unattractive, its just that I can't get my vagina in gear about it. I'm sure as I get older my tastes will change. It also doesn't help that I have had men older than 60 message me. What am I supposed to do with that? I can't think of anything we'd have in common. Also, age play is a HUGE turn-off for me.

 

Like another poster said,its a preference. I don't put myself in situations where people would have to be rejected (from my hot young bod....hehe) unless they basically asked for it first. (Ie; im not going to house parties denying everyone based on age alone). But if my SLS profile says 36 as the oldest possible contender, the 53 year olds that message me are not going to get any love.

[JDApopka 54]

My wife has this he's the same age as our son thing (oldest is 33) so we go for the guys that are 45+ just for her. Me if I can find a nice young lady to have sexx with me i'm all over I'm allowed to have dreams LOL

[Learning 160]

Our desired age range is 30-50. I prefer not to dip below 30 because well can't explain it except most people find their personalities by age 30. We went out with a very young couple right before we stopped and they were really into us but for me, their youngness, new marriage, etc. were a bit of a red flag. For myself, I love being surrounded by very rich personality people, you know the kind that have depth plus lots of energy. But I'm an unusual swinger as personality is more key to me. If

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think for most it's an issue of wanting people who are similar to them in general, who they feel they have things in common with. For many it's also an issue of not wanting to feel like you are playing with someone who could be your parent (or your child)... just a creepiness factor there.

[StevieBlueEyes 48]

I am a younger 20-something. I have a BIG age limitation. And I don't say preference, I say LIMIT.

 

Granted, I do not go to clubs/swinger clubs/bars/parties without knowing who is attending first, and I wouldn't even consider attending unless I've met people prior. I'm not a big club person. My preferred way is to meet interested people through the internet (swinger and dating sites). It works really well, but my age preferences are very limited. I freely admit this and am very upfront with it.

 

Its just what everyone said. My parents are in their 50s. The idea of having sexual relations with anyone my parents age (who looks like them or not) is a compete turn off. Its not that I find older people unattractive, its just that I can't get my vagina in gear about it. I'm sure as I get older my tastes will change. It also doesn't help that I have had men older than 60 message me. What am I supposed to do with that? I can't think of anything we'd have in common. Also, age play is a HUGE turn-off for me.

 

Like another poster said,its a preference. I don't put myself in situations where people would have to be rejected (from my hot young bod....hehe) unless they basically asked for it first. (Ie; im not going to house parties denying everyone based on age alone). But if my Swing Lifestyle profile says 36 as the oldest possible contender, the 53 year olds that message me are not going to get any love.

 

My wife set our age limit on SL to 40, and she means it. It sucks for me, because I'm 37 there are lots of sexy women in their mid 40's, but like you, she's 20-something. She would push the age up a LITTLE for a fit and young looking couple, but it amazes me how many people contact you on SL that are significantly beyond your age range.

[Rivertour 51]

The profiles seem to stop at 50. 25-50 or 35-50 even 18-50...For the life of me, I can't seem to figure out how I changed any in the last year. And my wife, if anything seems much younger. Different hair style, new glasses, whatever it is she gets compliments like "Wow you look great", "What are you doing different", things like that. For me, seriously, nothing is different except the fact that we are now old in other lifestyle couples eyes. We have always felt younger than our age and feel we look younger, but in the lifestyle community we are past our prime.

We do enjoy couples within 10 years of us either way, but have had some of the best times with others both older and younger.

To each his own, I guess.

[RDfnd 180]

We have this age difference question for all.

 

Why do different aged groups have difficulties swinging with different aged people? Younger people frown on older ones, older ones frown on younger people.

 

We ran into this at a party we hosted. A young couple in their early 20s would not allow anyone older than them to play with them which even though we hit it off verbally and enjoyed their conversations, disappointed us telling us we were too old, making us feel inadequate to play.

 

A friend of ours says she has no desire to play with younger people because she feels like she is playing with her own children (She has none). ?????

 

I have no problem playing with any age group younger or older but my wife has this hangup as many do.

 

The difference I notice is the younger women have much more energy and tend to be more orgasmic than older women. Watching younger guys with my wife, I notice they are much more energetic and make her more orgasmic than I can.

Older couples we have played with tend to be more laid back and I have to work a little more to get her to orgasm.

 

If this makes any since at all.

 

I would love to hear why you would or wouldn't play with different age groups. A poll perhaps? Would you play with a couple much younger/ older than you?

 

Before seeing this today, I had just posted on another forum about the same issue. We are in total agreement with you on this one. Age difference is unimportant to us as long as there is the chemistry for recreational sex, which is actually what swinging is all about for us. We're not really looking for friends or people that we have things in common with other than the mutual desire to have hedonistic sex. If that would happen fine, but it is not our primary goal.

 

We don't actively in person or on the internet seek out younger couples or singles, but, most of our recent experiences have been with younger people. I am 54 and my wife is 47.

 

At a resort takeover a few months ago, we were approached by a mid- 30's couple and ended up having a few sessions with them that were very hot. She was 17 years younger than me and he was 12 years younger than my wife. Best MFMF we have had to date. We also were recently contacted by a couple M-30, F- 23 and met for the first time for drinks last week and are planning to get together again this week.

 

Recently, we had our first MFM with a 30 year old guy that was erotically off the charts. Now are planning for our second with another 30 year old.

 

What does this all mean. In the proper situations, age differences can either be unimportant or be a turn on for some individuals. As is the case in many aspects of swinging, the mind is in ultimate control. So if one feels they shouldn't, wouldn't or couldn't they won't. Nothing wrong with either point of view. It should all be about having a pleasurable experience.

[MN Tom 251]

Age differences to us are merely a guideline. At this point we are finding about a 15-20 year upwards trend is about all we can handle under most circumstances, and about 10 years down.

 

As a couple we kinda shy away from the really young ones, the couples who are in their early 20's. Mainly because we have met so few in that age category who are actually ready. As singles though, it's not quite the same thing so a young player can be an option.

 

The upwards category for us in age is semi based on appearance and how they handle themselves. At this point for us (we are late 30's) most everyone can be acceptable until the late 50's/early 60's, which is our parents age. And even that age could be ok, just depends on what shape they are in and their mindset/mannerisms. Mannerisms are especially noticeable, and someone who is our age can turn us off due to that.

 

The other night we met a couple that turned us off due to that. They are upper 50's, and in fairly decent shape. And while their profile and online chatting seemed to fit with us , they did not in person. The guy had a "papa bear" type of manner and it really turned my wife off. Enough so that she would leave the room if they were in there, even if we werent going to play with them directly.

 

With that said, we have met others in that same age range who were quite attractive to us. It's definitely less likely though once the age spread becomes that large.

[Brian and Jo 344]

We do most of our swinging with a group of couples in our own age group which is mid 50s to mid 60s. But we do not have any particular hang ups about the age of the couples we play with. We have played several times with a couple in their 70s. They are both attractive and have kept themselves in good shape. More to the point they have both retained their sexuality and are extremely enjoyable company in bed. By the same token we have played with couples 20 to 30 years younger than we are, usually while we are on vacation. We were a bit leery about this at first because it seemed like we were having sex with our kids. But then we realised how flattering it was for us when much younger couples wanted to play with a couple as old as their parents!

[RDfnd 180]

But then we realised how flattering it was for us when much younger couples wanted to play with a couple as old as their parents!

 

How true. It is very flattering when those much younger want to play with you. And, a boost to your sexual self-esteem when they aren't disappointed!

[The Fuse 1,012]

We're 44 and 43. We've played with people from their 20's into their 50's. Usually if we're going to meet people a lot older than us, it would be at a party. Unfortunately as people get older they tend to leave old pictures up on their profiles more and more. We have definitely met a few couples who are guilty of that, so we tend to be skeptical of pictures of folks in their 50's and up. Sorry about that.

 

If you're 50 and above, and trying to meet people through online ads, I suggest you have dates on your pictures, or at least emphasize the dates they were taken. That way potential playmates have some assurance that you still look like your pictures, assuming they're recent. But honestly, if you're one of those "look and act much younger" couples and you feel you're being ruled out arbitrarily, you have two choices. One is to lie on your profile. I don't suggest that because it is effectively telling people lies before you even meet them. The other is to get out to more parties and meet and greets, where your age isn't stamped on your forehead. Then let people see for themselves.

[cupl4fun 361]

For us as long as we like and feel comfortable with the people age does not matter (as long ad they aren't too young). We are 35 and 34 but we have played with people in their sixties and people in there mid-twenties. It's much more about your personality for us.

 

I think some people though, just don't feel comfortable with people who aren't in similar life places as them. It can be hard for older and younger couples to be patient with us sometimes because we have three kids at home and can't meet at the drop of a hat.

[PB&J 1,086]

What gets me is the number of people who post "our age or younger" on their profiles; they are willing for others to play with older people (them) but aren't up for that themselves. If everyone had that preference, nobody would be playing with other than their own age! Few people post "our age or older". Personally, we say age does not matter. We are 50 and 53; some of our best playfriends are 60-ish, while others are 40-ish. Had one hot encounter with a 25 yr old at a hotel takeover- my oh my!

[Playful1 434]

two things:

 

1) i never got this. hell, most of the people i play with are definitely more than 10yrs my senior and i have gone as much as 30yrs. to me, its an attraction. i actually tend not to play with people my own age. i think the idea of not having stuff in common gets silly. somehow i've never had an issue finding common interests and conversations with people older than me. i have had folks get shocked when they found out my age....they thought i was older because i didnt "act like the typical" of my age.

 

2) this tends to be a bigger issue online than in person. i ahve never, ever, asked someones age when i met them in person. i have looked at it when looking online. same goes for most of the folks i know.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Coupleerotic22 said:

There is a SF poster on this forum, I can't remember her name, but she is in her mid 20's I think, but seems very mature. She is unusual in that regard, in our experience.

 

Playful1, you are the poster I was referring to in my earlier post. Thanks for jogging my memory.

 

Playful1 said:

i never got this. hell, most of the people i play with are definitely more than 10yrs my senior and i have gone as much as 30yrs. to me, its an attraction. i actually tend not to play with people my own age. i think the idea of not having stuff in common gets silly. somehow i've never had an issue finding common interests and conversations with people older than me. i have had folks get shocked when they found out my age....they thought i was older because i didn't "act like the typical" of my age.

 

First a question. What reasons do you have for not playing with people your age?

 

Second an observation. You have not had issues finding common interest, but some of your playmates are shocked because you did not "act like the typical" twenty something.

 

Coupleerotic22 said:

With the younger crowd we have experienced a bit more drama. That is really an issue of maturity rather than age, but it tends to happen more with he younger crowd.

 

I will take a stab at answering the question I asked above and shed light on my observation that your older playmates were shocked. You, and some others your age, tend to be far more mature than your contemporaries. That is a good thing in my mind, but it does make you atypical. I readily admit I am more mature than I was at your age, for that matter, more mature than just a few years ago. Although I am working hardily to regress a bit

 

Maturity goes beyond having common interest though. Drama has been far more likely with the 20's we have met. That is not indicative of all 20 somethings, but our experience does cause us to be more cautious.

 

I wish everyone your age we met had the maturity you appear to have. It would be a much better world all around.

[Playful1 434]

coupleerotic22: awww...thank you

 

As to your question: mostly because they seem to have the whole 'pretty people" thing going. they want an uber hot nightclub with some heavy petting and freak at the idea of actually having sex. That, and well, about 85% of them have tons of drama and act like they are still 16, cliques and all.

 

As to the observation: that is something I realize might influence my perception of things. I do find I have more in common with older folks, due to a variety of things, and so I am sure that the average 20 something would find half the conversations I have with people boring as hell, lol.

 

I agree that drama is more common. However, I will say from my experience, that the drama from older folks tends to get nastier and more prolonged. Most likely because they have been with the partner longer. They are just a bit quieter about it.

 

I think immature people come in all ages, the young ones are just louder about it because they think other people care about their drama, lol.

 

Honestly, I tend to be the most wary of the "pretty people" of any age, than of any particular age in general. They seem to have the most drama associated with them.

[PB&J 1,086]

mostly because they seem to have the whole 'pretty people" thing going. they want an uber hot nightclub with some heavy petting and freak at the idea of actually having sex. That, and well, about 85% of them have tons of drama and act like they are still 16, cliques and all.

 

Wow, that sums up most of the people on a Toronto-based site I'm on. Perfect description!

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Wow, that sums up most of the people on a Toronto-based site I'm on. Perfect description!

 

PB&J, drop the Ontario part from Southern Ontario and head down this way, we are much more laid back and PB&J's are extremely popular.

[PB&J 1,086]

PB&J, drop the Ontario part from Southern Ontario and head down this way, we are much more laid back and PB&J's are extremely popular.

 

Sounds good to me, coupleerotic22; I drove home over the first black ice of the year last night! Living in the true north strong and free has its disadvantages! If only we had somewhere nice to stay....

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Sounds good to me, coupleerotic22; I drove home over the first black ice of the year last night! Living in the true north strong and free has its disadvantages! If only we had somewhere nice to stay....

 

I am sure we could find some suitable accommodations

[DigginIt 1,132]

Echoing what many have already said...just differently:

 

We use age ranges because generally, like so many others have said, we relate with that range more easily because we have more in common.

 

Something from our own observation:

 

Everyone has their own perception of what their weaknesses are (in our own minds) and I think we project them onto others unconsciously and create our own barriers for play.

 

Mine is thinning hair. My wife's is small boobs and about 15lbs.

 

They wouldn't be interested in me for .

 

You never know what the real reason for why someone won't play with you but one thing I have learned is that I'd rather get shot down for trying than to be the wall flower too afraid to try. Don't take what anyone says personally because their opinions is what makes us all unique and wonderful to be with. Just accept their answers and don't let it get you down.

[strathmore 20]

DigginIt said:

Echoing what many have already said...just differently:

I'd rather get shot down for trying than to be the wall flower too afraid to try. Don't take what anyone says personally because their opinions is what makes us all unique and wonderful to be with. Just accept their answers and don't let it get you down.

 

AMEN DigginIt! You never know until you ask. Not everyone will be interested, for whatever reason -- age, height, weight, hair, visage, etc. BUT when they are...

 

I'm mid-sixties. Have payed with ages from 22 to 68 and most stops in between. Just have to find the right chemistry or attitude.

[mde 4764 15]

I don't think age makes any difference with recreational sex. As long as a person peaks your interest, what difference does age make. You're not looking for a life partner. You're looking for a sex partner.

[MsGoneWild 182]

My wife set our age limit on SL to 40, and she means it. It sucks for me, because I'm 37 there are lots of sexy women in their mid 40's, but like you, she's 20-something. She would push the age up a LITTLE for a fit and young looking couple, but it amazes me how many people contact you on SL that are significantly beyond your age range.

 

A vast majority of the emails I receive on SLS are from people well beyond my age range. If i have it set at 35, and a 36 year old messages me its not a big deal (what difference does a year make anyway?) but when its set at 35 and Ive got 45 year olds messaing me its a turn off. The reason is because if they won't read my profile I take that as an insult. I'm on a swing website to HAVE SEX. All I have to do is like you! I just find it disrespectful. :/

 

Also, everyone seems to be awesome and fine and dandy with the age limitations, as long as THEY can be the exception...

[Let's Play 15]

My husband and I are 27 (him) and 26 (me). We decided we'd be fine with anyone as young as 21 as long as they seemed mature enough, but probably no older than about 35-40ish. After that it sort of starts pushing the boundaries of how old my own parents are, and I guess that throws me off a bit. I wouldn't fully rule someone slightly older out if they seem like a great fit for us, but I can't say that at this point I find older men attractive. I'm afraid I sound shallow here, but it's how I feel in this situation.

[Alura 2,774]

I remember, sometime within the past 20 years or so, a young lady with whom I was acquainted at the time remarked, "When I was 25, men who were thirty seemed old to me; now that I'm 36, fifty-year-old guys are looking pretty tasty!"

 

What should a 30-something couple do when they meet an interesting couple who are 45 and 29? That's not a really unusual situation. Wait ten years or so?

 

Age, and it's effects on swinging, is a question best left to all four individuals who need to answer the question. Sometimes our decisions are for the best; sometimes they aren't. That's a risk we take with every decision. An open mind will always serve us well.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Let said:

My husband and I are 27 (him) and 26 (me). We decided we'd be fine with anyone as young as 21 as long as they seemed mature enough' date=' but probably no older than about 35-40ish. After that it sort of starts pushing the boundaries of how old my own parents are, and I guess that throws me off a bit. I wouldn't fully rule someone slightly older out if they seem like a great fit for us, but I can't say that at this point I find older men attractive. I'm afraid I sound shallow here, but it's how I feel in this situation.

I certainty understand that feeling, and agree to a certain degree. Fortunately for my wife and I our parents were in the mid to late 30's when we were born. We, in turn, did not have children till our mid 30's. So we do not relate most potential playmates to with our parents or children. Now if only our nieces and nephews were not in their mid 20's, then we could certainly clear that hurdle.

[Golden_men 15]

There are people who like ade differences.

They feel it, like taboo.

 

In normal life, there is no problem, have sex with person in the same age.

But when 20y wants 40y, or 40y wants 20y it's a big problem- to met, seduce, have sex.

 

 

Younger men mature woman, (in both side)

Younger women older men (in both side)

 

 

Swingers can do this.

[exploringRM 305]

I went back and read the replies, so hopefully this is not a duplicate. I was in the SLS chat room recently where age preferences came up. One person brought up the point that when you meet people in real life, not having any previous online contact, age may not even appear in the conversation. Can you most likely guess their age range, sure. If there is mutual attraction, it works regardless of age.

 

Age is a large scale qualifier when it comes to online preferences. Most likely you will not be interested in many peope outside your range, but there are always the exceptions and perhaps you meet them face-to-face first.

[DigginIt 1,132]

One person brought up the point that when you meet people in real life, not having any previous online contact, age may not even appear in the conversation.

 

I totally agree. We have met people that had 40 set as their max age limit (we are both 43). Meeting in person does change the dynamics and age usually goes out the window and attraction becomes the dominant requirement.

 

Let's Play - not shallow sounding at all. You have a husband and this is about recreational sex. You like who you like and if older men are not in that equation yet then people should respect that.

 

Everyone says that they are not looking for ken and barbie but that doesn't mean they are not hoping for them.

[Chicup 41]

Age is a useful discriminator for searches. Its one of those things where rarely someone in X range might be acceptable, its rare enough that you don't want to sift through the rest.

 

Its also a bigger deal the younger you are I think. As you get older how well you take care of yourself and your genes play a bigger part in your appearance than when you are in your 20's.

 

Now when I say age is useful for searches what I should say is that it SHOULD be useful for searches but most sites don't let you set the ages of the male and female for a search. SLS we find semi-useless since it only uses the age of the youngest member of the couple, which can be a rather huge difference. It is semi-useful for sorting out those we think are too young though.

[willyoats 324]

I can't add anything philosophical here about why age differences make a difference. I can only add data: All of my swing partners have been between 3 and 20 years younger than I am, or than I was at the time. For some reason, no woman older than I ever connected with me. It certainly would not have been a turn-off to be with an older woman; it just never happened.

 

The two women that I still stay in close contact with, after first swinging with them more than 20 years ago, are both (almost) exactly 15 years younger than I am.

 

My wife had really great experiences with guys who were more than 20 years younger. These were the types who just prefer older women (like the ages of their mothers?) and treat them with respect and deference, which was a turn-on for my wife. Plus, they were virile, hot, horny and vigorous! How can you beat that at any age.

[Golden_men 15]

willyoats said:

I can't add anything philosophical here about why age differences make a difference. I can only add data: All of my swing partners have been between 3 and 20 years younger than I am, or than I was at the time. For some reason, no woman older than I ever connected with me. It certainly would not have been a turn-off to be with an older woman; it just never happened.

 

The two women that I still stay in close contact with, after first swinging with them more than 20 years ago, are both (almost) exactly 15 years younger than I am.

 

My wife had really great experiences with guys who were more than 20 years younger. These were the types who just prefer older women (like the ages of their mothers?) and treat them with respect and deference, which was a turn-on for my wife. Plus, they were virile, hot, horny and vigorous! How can you beat that at any age.

 

she can feel younger, with them,

 

they can feel like with mom.

 

she feel this like taboo too,

 

Partner in the same age?- it's easier than with older/younger.

 

For young men is hard to seduce mature woman. So part of them, like this.

 

For mature men is the same hard to seduce younger woman.

[iceman7570 40]

When age is the DECIDING factor to who you enjoy being with, you always limit yourself.........it's just how we feel since we have played up and down in age.

[LFM2 1,482]

When age is the DECIDING factor to who you enjoy being with, you always limit yourself.........it's just how we feel since we have played up and down in age.

 

We agree when age is a deciding factor. Dave is often out of age range for some people in our area. We contact them anyway, with thoughts about their pictures or something positive in their profile. If they contact us back, it's all good.

 

I happen to love older men. I've been like that since I was in my early 20's. I still happen to like older men.

 

It's kind of the same for pictures. Pictures often can be misleading and not give off the right kind of vibes and the "real them" are a knockout. Basing a first impression from pictures can often be a detriment as well.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I happen to love older men. I've been like that since I was in my early 20's. I still happen to like older men.

 

That is my wife as well. I thought it might it a problem at first, but it hasn't been. In fact it has been a lot of fun.