Gay man with your bi husband questions

[handsomemodest 59]

Hello!

 

As I said in my introduction, I am a gay man with an interest in the swingers world. I enjoy an active sex life in the gay community, and (I do NOT, of course, speak for all gay men, many of whom are monogamous) I enjoy group scenes, play parties and couples just like many of you do.

 

I am a sexual adventurer, to some extent, with an interest in sexuality beyond my own. I like to read the stories here on the swingers board (many of them are VERY HOT), especially about the "good" experiences. I enjoy reading about the experiences of both men and women.

 

Any experience I would have with a male/female couple would be completely new to me.

 

Ok...before I post any sort of ad (here or anywhere else)... I wanted to ask some hypothetical questions about a hypothetical situation.

 

I should stress: These questions are for hypothetical consenting adults behind closed doors, not in a club, ... and these questions are geared toward couples where the husband is bi or bi curious.

 

The hypothetical gay man (ok, me) is a courteous guy who does not create drama (hates drama, actually) and is very respectful of rules, boundaries, safe behavior, etc...

 

FOR THE WOMEN: Would it turn you on to be present as your man has a sexual experience with another man that you knew was gay...would that be a turn-on, or not so much?

 

What if there were some hardcore sex action between the guys, and your man was also licking you and pleasuring you at the same time...What kind of erotic energy might that tap into for you?

 

Is two guys something you would enjoy just watching, or would you also really enjoy participating (i.e. being licked by your husband)?

 

FOR THE BI GUYS: Would you find it exciting to see your wife witnessing your pleasure with a gay man?

 

What if the gay man wanted to watch the two of you make love, maybe even guiding you in her?

 

BASICALLY, FOR ALL OF YOU: I just want to know if any of these ideas are exciting to you, and what it is about them that is exciting.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope I chose the right forum to post in. I know some of these issues have been addressed in other places, but I don't think they have in the context of the third man being gay.

 

Don't feel the need to answer every one of my questions if you respond. Just respond to the topics about which you have a strong opinion.

 

I do not know whether I belong at all in the world of male/female swingers. I have some fun fantasies and enjoy watching swinger videos... so I am just trying to see if I fit in here or not. Those who have responded to me so far have all been very nice...just super people!

[handsomemodest 59]

If this sort of thing does NOT turn you on... I'd also like to hear about that too... especially from couples who are open to bi-sexuality. I'd be interested in the reasons why or why not it's a turn on. I'd love to hear what difference a gay man in the mix makes.

 

So, whether it turns you on, or not, I'd love to get your opinion.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . What if the gay man wanted to watch the two of you make love, maybe even guiding you in her?

[Yoda closing his eyes in deep concentration] Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future.

 

JoAnn and I encounteted a woman and a man at a house party, later revealed to us to be gay, who wanted to watch while his womanfriend and my wife were having sex with me. As it happened, he gave away a big hint when he grabbed my prick to "guide" it into her. The unpleasant character of my reaction was owing to a surprise effect. He would have done better to reveal his sexual preference ahead-of-time.

 

Short form of answer: I would not mind at all, would even invite it and find it interesting. But, please, no surprises.

[handsomemodest 59]

DON'T BE SHY

 

I have received two responses to this post. One is posted above, and the other was privately sent to me... both of them are appreciated.

 

How about the rest of you? You seem to be reading my post, but not responding yet.

 

From reading the forums here, I know that bisexuality in males is a somewhat taboo, sometimes reviled, often hidden subject. Yet many of you have written that you are curious about that sort of thing and some even have experience with it.

 

I hope that my being gay does not make this topic so over-the-top taboo that most of you would not respond to it.

 

Maybe you are simply not interested in this. If so... I'd love to hear why (especially from people who would indeed be interested if the man were bi, not gay).

 

I am just trying to gather opinions so that I will know what to include in an ad should I ever write one. I also just find it interesting to know what you all think, and it helps fuel my fantasies.

 

Just to clarify something... even though I am a gay man, the role of the woman is key here:

 

1. Without the woman present and turned-on, I might as well just stick to sex in the gay community... I have success there, but I am trying to branch out toward something new to supplement my gay experiences.

 

2. The idea of a woman watching her husband and another guy together, giving her permission for the sex act to occur between her husband and the other guy, and getting turned on by it gives me an erotic charge.

 

3. The thought of the husband and the wife playing together while the other guy pleasures the husband is exciting to me.

 

4. I would also, on some level, like to experience heterosexual sex...perhaps just vicariously, through voyeurism. The idea of a couple inviting me into their space and making love in front of me...getting turned on by each other and by my excitement...that's a real turn on. Heck, I wouldn't mind watching two heterosexual couples go at it in the same room.

 

To respond to the comment above from SW_PA_Couple... there are no surprises with me. I am letting people know I am gay up front. I agree with you that that's the best approach.

 

For the rest of you, please consider giving me your opinion...either right here or through a private message.

[MN Tom 251]

Ok, I asked my wife about this since I was curious as to her opinion at this time.

 

First off we definitely would want to know ahead of time, like SW PA couple mentioned, a surprise of this sort wouldnt really be a cool thing. It might not dampen the mood, but it very well could.

 

For that matter we would also want to know if someone was planning on just watching, at this point when we talk with a potential couple we figure it's going to be a 2v2, and not a 2v1 with a bystander. We could be ok with a bystander, but again, knowing ahead of time would greatly help.

 

For the rest of the MMF type of stuff, it's really hard to say for us. I have pretty much no desire to do anything between another man and myself. I dont mind another guy being naked in close proximity, and it's expected in many situations (DP and such). Since I have no desire for the contact though, my wife doesnt really see it as exciting. Kinda like how I view FF action at this time. I like to see it, but its not overly exciting since my wife isn't interested in it. Nice to see, but nothing beyond that. Same goes for straight sex for that matter, if they appear to just be going through the motions and not truly enjoying it, it's much less appealing.

 

So essentially we have to be able to vicariously place ourselves in the encounter for our interest to be ignited, and the flame is fanned much stronger if passion is being displayed.

[Guest rdy46227]

My spouse's opinion:

 

Men having sex with each other, and gay porn, doesn't do much for me. If it happened to us, I would be involved mostly for my husband, not myself.

[casablancabuff 59]

FOR THE BI GUYS: Would you find it exciting to see your wife witnessing your pleasure with a gay man?

 

Since we are still seeking our first mmf or mfm, I will speak in hypothetical terms. Yes, I would find it exciting for my wife to watch me with a gay man. I am not sure at this point what her reaction is going to be and she has even stated that she is not sure if she will enjoy male on male action but she knows I want to try it so she is willing to go along for the time being. My hope is that it will excite her, I would love nothing more than to share another man with her. A top fantasy of mine is for my wife and I to pleasure another man orally together, sharing his cock between us.

 

What if the gay man wanted to watch the two of you make love, maybe even guiding you in her?

 

Again, I personally find this very hot and would love to have the added attentions while pleasing my wife.

 

Other situations I am looking to try, pleasuring my wife orally while she is being penetrated by another man. Of course, this probably requires a bisexual man and you may find more acceptance with couples if you are willing to please the woman also. Speaking for my wife, she is looking forward to a threesome with two men because she wants to be the center of attention. Now, performing some bisexual acts during the threesome is fine by her but I don't think she would be interested in you if you were only willing to perform with me.

[Chicup 41]

My wife and I would have no desire to be watched by a gay man or the rest.

 

Now much of the bisexuality for males in swinging is in the closet, so you will find offers, but swingers are a small subset of the population, and you are asking about a subset of a subset.

 

From my time on this board I'd say there are people who would be very interested in what you are talking about. Many would never admit to it 'publicly' though.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Thanks for bringing these questions up from a new perspective around here. For now, I have not had a chance to discuss your situation with Mrsfun, something I do often before responding. It's a pretty busy week for many couples with the holidays ahead. Don't be discouraged about the lack of posts. You have presented a thought provoking discussion. Some may have to let this perspective soak in a little too.

[The Fuse 1,012]

My husband is straight, but if he were bi, we'd probably be looking for another bisexual man so we could have a threesome where everyone was involved with everyone else. If we decided to have an encounter with a gay man for some reason, my only interest would be to watch and encourage.

[bi4me2 93]

(him)

 

As a VERY picky bi-guy (I describe myself as 95% straight) I would say no to all of the above ... why? Because I am not interested in something 'just for me'. While with the right guy I am as bi as they come I am also very interested in her pleasure and the 'two guys one girl' thing.

 

So all things being equal I don't think we would ever think about a gay guy, just like we wouldn't consider a lesbian woman that wasn't interested in me.

 

Sorry didn't mean to be mean ..... but as a couple were both are bi our primary interest is in everyone enjoying everything.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I was writing a series of erotic stories years ago. I created two characters, Mike and Jan, who were pretty much me and my wife. I'd write each story early in the morning, then my wife would read it when she got up and after our discussions, I'd post them.

 

During the third, or so, story the events simply, and rather naturally, led to some male/male contact. I almost deleted that part and just start again but didn't. I was very apprehensive of my wife's reaction.

 

Well, I was very surprised when she was very aroused! And, even more surprised by the feedback from that I received from that story. I'd had mostly feedback before from men but this one got so many from wives who said they'd love it if their husbands tried something like the husbands in that story.

 

I honestly think there are almost as many wives who'd like to see their husbands in same sex action as men who want to see their wives.

 

And, from your other posts on this thread and others, you seem to be a bit hetero-curious. Now is that a brand new label?

 

And, my fellow member, you're being accepted here about as well as the illusive unicorns have been in the past! Cool, huh?

[lv2prty 17]

My husband and I have a great fuck buddy that we invite over on a regular basis. He is not gay nor is my husband, but when we are all together I can tell you that they both are watching the action of each other. while they are both pleasuring me I have no problem if they would be touching each other, but I would be turned off seeing them kiss or anything else. Anyway, if they got into that then I might get left out. I like MFM because I am the center of attention.

[JDApopka 54]

umm I must show the mrs this thread

[Oleg&Lena 43]

I am acquainted with a man who is gay as you are and what is interesting he has thoughts and desires like you have. Because of it I was not surprised when I'd read your post here.

 

I am bi-curious and my wife too. We had different experiences in sex during last 9 years. We had been with straight couples, with couples where a man was bi-curious too, with single men. And I can say following, degree of bi contacts in sex depended on of size of bi part in every concrete partner.

 

When couple with straight man all attention would pay to a woman, when with bi man - both partners. If couple have sex with gay man they would get another experience. Not for all of course but many sex things are not for all too.

 

As of my acquaintance gay man he had some experiences with couples and as he told everything was OK.

[Playful1 434]

I know you asked this of couples, but, I thought i'd toss my two cents in.

 

As a single female who is extremely turned on by m/m stuff and has had the pleasure of being involved in mmf situations (or multiples of that, lol) i can say I am insanely turned on by watching someone I love play with another man. it is an instant turn on for me.

 

I feel fairly safe in saying there must be other women, in relationships, who feel the same way.

 

i think you'll find a lot of people are fairly definitively on one side of the issue or the other. it's likely to either be of interest/a turn or, or really not something they are interested in.

 

I will say, sadly, please do not be surprised if you still encounter a fair bit if discrimination. I have seen too much of it against gay and bi men in swinging to be able to say otherwise.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

For us it's not about what categorical "tribe" you list yourself as, but what actions you enjoy. Your description sounds similar to some by guys who talk about possibly enjoying some form of sexual contact with a man as long as it's in a threesome with a woman present and it's mostly about the woman. In your case its about male/male with the woman present and perhaps participating as long as it's mostly about the men.

 

We enjoy geography of sex that includes more than simple heterosexual sex, on into the same sex realm and preferably the all sex realm, where the focus ceases to be on hetero, homo, or bi, but sensually arousing actions all enjoy. In threesomes and foursomes we enjoy inclusiveness, warmth, heat, friendship, touch, massage, tasting. The fetish of labeling whether it's hetero, homo, or bi is not about arousal or fun.

 

My wife as well as our closest couple female friend are aroused by men playing, sucking, touching, licking, as I am, as he is. Pleasure is arousing. He and I are aroused by the two women playing, touching, tasting. Six hand massage is so much fun. There is so much more geography of pleasure if you aren't hamstrung by labels.

[ViSexual 1,008]

Lascivious L & L,

 

What a wonderful way of explaining it!

 

Thank you!

[asncpl 729]

Ditto with Lascivious L & L. Although I haven't exactly asked my husband about this question, I have the some observations from our experiences. My husband can be bi when it comes to swinging. He wouldn't go find a gay man for one on one sex, but in a group setting, he certainly enjoys giving and receiving oral with another man. In fact one of our favorite is both of us giving oral to another man at the same time. As for me, I enjoy participating when I see him with another man. It does turn me on. But it's important for us to know what to expect. As someone said before, please no surprises. If you want anal with my hubby, please make that clear. I personally think it's very erotic to see my husband sucking another man while pleasuring me, and luckily for me, he likes it too.

[LuvliLady 15]

I will speak for myself alone. My husband is straight, and has no problems with slight touches or things that happen in the heat of specific moments. That being said, he isn't into a guy playing with him either.

 

I have always wanted to experience either a MFM or a MFMF where everyone in the mix is free, open and willing to participate and play with the others. I am bi, and love to taste and feel another woman. I have a couple of female friends and I that think having two men playing, touching, tasting each other in front of us would be extremely hot. I would never put my husband in that situation, to make him uncomfortable.

 

We are also members on a site geared for meeting for sexual relations of all kinds. I have met several guys on there that are openly bi and willing to explore further. One of the bi men and I are regular playmates and we are seeking another bi man to join us in the mix. We may have a taker, we just all need to sit down at dinner and discuss how we all feel about each other. I am free to play on my own at any time, and my husband knows all about this.

 

Hope that this helps out with your question. I simply think that two men is just more of a good thing, whether watching them or having them play with me too.

[gsu22 187]

Hello!

 

As I said in my introduction, I am a gay man with an interest in the swingers world. I enjoy an active sex life in the gay community, and (I do NOT, of course, speak for all gay men, many of whom are monogamous) I enjoy group scenes, play parties and couples just like many of you do.

 

I am a sexual adventurer, to some extent, with an interest in sexuality beyond my own. I like to read the stories here on the swingers board (many of them are VERY HOT), especially about the "good" experiences. I enjoy reading about the experiences of both men and women.

 

Any experience I would have with a male/female couple would be completely new to me.

 

Ok...before I post any sort of ad (here or anywhere else)... I wanted to ask some hypothetical questions about a hypothetical situation.

 

I should stress: These questions are for hypothetical consenting adults behind closed doors, not in a club, ... and these questions are geared toward couples where the husband is bi or bi curious.

 

The hypothetical gay man (ok, me) is a courteous guy who does not create drama (hates drama, actually) and is very respectful of rules, boundaries, safe behavior, etc...

 

FOR THE WOMEN: Would it turn you on to be present as your man has a sexual experience with another man that you knew was gay...would that be a turn-on, or not so much?

 

What if there were some hardcore sex action between the guys, and your man was also licking you and pleasuring you at the same time...What kind of erotic energy might that tap into for you?

 

Is two guys something you would enjoy just watching, or would you also really enjoy participating (i.e. being licked by your husband)?

 

FOR THE BI GUYS: Would you find it exciting to see your wife witnessing your pleasure with a gay man?

 

What if the gay man wanted to watch the two of you make love, maybe even guiding you in her?

 

BASICALLY, FOR ALL OF YOU: I just want to know if any of these ideas are exciting to you, and what it is about them that is exciting.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope I chose the right forum to post in. I know some of these issues have been addressed in other places, but I don't think they have in the context of the third man being gay.

 

Don't feel the need to answer every one of my questions if you respond. Just respond to the topics about which you have a strong opinion.

 

I do not know whether I belong at all in the world of male/female swingers. I have some fun fantasies and enjoy watching swinger videos... so I am just trying to see if I fit in here or not. Those who have responded to me so far have all been very nice...just super people!

 

After being off the boards here a while, I wanted to check in on my fav category(bisexuality) so that's why I'm a little behind(non pun intended) on this topic lol...

 

I have to say that I got an erotic charge the first time I blew a married man in front of his wife. It had been something I always wanted to do(trade oral/jo with a married man). Anyways, after MUCH searching, my first experience was amazing with a very cool couple.

 

Later on I was able to live another fantasy and that was to become comfortable enough with the couple so that if the husband and I wanted to do "guy stuff", the wife would be cool with it....turned out to be pretty damn nice for me lol....he'd text me, come over, suck/fuck/jo and then go home and ultimately, that turned his wife on the most was knowing he and I had just messed around and when he got home, he smelled sweaty/manly. He told me that made their sex even hotter!

 

i WISH I still had that...it was some kinda fun

[Carter 15]

I have a question similar to this subject but with a little different slant.I am a gay male that is bi curious.I would like to find a couple that would be comfortable with me being with the woman but there would not have to be to be man to man contact other than pleasing the woman.I am 55 and would like to hear from any other bi curious gay men or any couples who have experienced this.

[BigNikki 43]

FOR THE WOMEN: Would it turn you on to be present as your man has a sexual experience with another man that you knew was gay...would that be a turn-on, or not so much?

 

John and I are notoriously bi- and plenty voyeuristic. I can't say it would specifically be a turn on, but I'd love to be there.

 

What if there were some hardcore sex action between the guys, and your man was also licking you and pleasuring you at the same time...What kind of erotic energy might that tap into for you?

It would be very nice. Very nice.

 

Is two guys something you would enjoy just watching, or would you also really enjoy participating (i.e. being licked by your husband)?

Geez, either way. You guys name it.

 

FOR THE BI GUYS: Would you find it exciting to see your wife witnessing your pleasure with a gay man?

(I'll fill in for my John here, and later add any corrections he makes.)

 

Yes. You might find he came too soon.

 

What if the gay man wanted to watch the two of you make love, maybe even guiding you in her?

He'd be ejaculating in your hand as you tried to guide him into me.

 

BASICALLY, FOR ALL OF YOU: I just want to know if any of these ideas are exciting to you

You bet.

 

Some questions for you:

 

How would you react to our mimicking everything you and John did? E.g. I blow him, he does me anally.

 

How would you react if I gave you a back rub while you and John got it on?

 

How would you like it if I put on guy drag (mustache etc) and we did a three-some?

 

PS: I had to interrupt this reply-post to pounce on my John. In your honor, I blew him, then he did me anally, then I blew him again (one of our rare A2M moments.)

 

So I guess you could say I was excited a bit by your ideas.

[BigNikki 43]

From reading the forums here, I know that bisexuality in males is a somewhat taboo

 

Yeah, that's my biggest beef with the lifestyle, the asymmetry.

 

I know and half-way understand how lifestyle men love girl-girl action and are uncomfortable with boy-boy action. It's just one of those things you have to accept.

 

If I made the world, players would be equally friendly to boy-boy stuff. But I didn't make the world and I am damned grateful that all of us can get away with what we do. Think about living in some other contexts.

[BigNikki 43]

I am a gay male that is bi curious.

 

Geez, it's about time one of you came out of the shadows.

 

I hope you get the warm welcome you deserve.

[HA.and.QP 15]

Hi there. I would love it but only if I could get involved also. When I had parties we would have 2 extra rooms. One for the men who wanted to be with men, that room would be private. Then we would have another room which would be open so others could watch. My boyfriend and I went in many times and had awesome sex while watching. But like I said just watching and not being included would drive me insane, even the best of toys could not help me in that situation, lol. My girlfriends and I would also love to watch mm.