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PTTimeDC

Wife has boyfriend, wants me to have girlfriend, but how?

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My wife and I have been swinging for years and recently she fell for a guy she works with. They've have been friends for a while. I've met him and like him and their flirting turned to more as soon as I told her I approved and had a fantasy of her having a boyfriend; a guy she can call, text, go on dates with and, yes, fuck when she wants to.

 

We are both having a ball with this and now she is telling me I need a girlfriend so she doesn't worry about my boredom when they're out. I'm not against the idea but I have NO idea how to find a girlfriend when I'm a married dude and will readily admit it to any prospective woman. My wife will know everything and I think that might put off "normal" girlfriends.

 

Does anyone have experience with this and can you offer advice?

 

Thanks!

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The closest I have come was with an ex who had several bf's, and we looked for a 3rd partner or another couple, but never managed to hookup with anyone. During this I had one friend I got with occasionally. She was someone I knew from before the ex and I got together.

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Ok first question, are you famous?

 

Famous men will have success in this because many women are attracted to that fame and will want to tell their BFF they are having sex with some famous man.

 

Are you rich?

 

Now this is related to famous (rich and famous is best), but just being rich can help, even if they know you won't leave your wife because they could use the money and want to be pampered. This would be the classic mistress.

 

Are you demi-god like in your looks?

 

Are you the kind of guy that all the women turn their heads to see when you walk in a bar? Do you see one woman nudge the one next to them as you walk by to make sure her friend sees just how attractive you are? If so you are in luck, you can be a no strings boy toy.

 

Now assuming you are not famous, rich, or extremely attractive, you have a problem, and a problem we have seen many many many many many...many... times on this board.

 

The wife finds a 'boyfriend' in 2 to 3 days, and the guy is all happy for her and stuck waiting up on Friday night.

 

The reason for this is simple. We men will take any fuck if we find the woman attractive. Sure you are married but your husband doesn't mind? OK lets fuck.

 

Now lets look at it from the woman's prospective....

 

Sure you are married and your wife doesn't mind? Why would I have sex with you, when there are 10 single males and two married ones who are rich and might leave their wives over there? Whats in it for me? I can get casual sex at the drop of my panties, you need to bring something besides a dick to the table.

 

Open relationships are rare, there won't be many women like that on the 'market'. Single males who are just happy to get laid are plentiful, I know I would be one were I single and wasn't having sex. I used to be one, it was called college.

 

Basically what I'm saying is you might look for ages and never find anyone to just be your FB no strings attached. You are far more likely to find a woman who wanted to cheat on her husband than anything else.

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Chicup is right again!

 

We used to avoid this problem by having a boyfriend and a girlfriend who were married to each other. The dating was just as much fun, if not more so, than trying to deal with the other problems.

 

Alura

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Chicup is right on target with the situation you're in.

 

There are few women who want an ongoing relationship with a married man unless he has something extra...money, fame, fantastic looks and charm. If you don't have those extras but you find a woman to be your FB, the woman will be hoping you'll eventually leave your wife for her.

 

LM

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Nobody else has said it, so I will; playing with someone at work is playing with fire. :redflag:

 

As others have said above, you finding a girlfriend is going to be tricky at best. It CAN be done, but you're going to have to work at it very, very hard and be very, very patient. You'll have more success being a regular for MFM's with another couple. Even then, it will take a lot of effort.

 

Best advice; be happy with your wife having a boyfriend, and you being home alone.

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I have a serious relationship with my friend's wife, but he doesn't have any girlfriend and he doesn't need...

 

We all happy, especially me :)

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Nobody else has said it, so I will; playing with someone at work is playing with fire. :redflag:

 

Actually I think there is even more to that fire here, but decided I was being enough of a Debby Downer to start.

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recently she fell for a guy she works with.

 

First off Chicup made one of the top ten posts of the year there. Great job Chicup!

 

Second, my concern would be about the part of your post I quoted.

 

Swinging is not about falling for someone. That goes out of the bounds of Swinging. That steps over to fulfilling something that should only be fulfilled withing the relationship. Emotions and love. If that is being taken care of at home then she would not "fall" for someone outside of the home.

 

I would be looking into that.

 

Her suggestion of a girl friend for you might be to ease her mind about her "falling" for someone else outside of your relationship.

 

Hopefully I am totally off base but common sense tells me I am not.

 

Third is you don't play with those at work. When things go bad there, and they will is it worth risking a job in this current economy?

 

Glad your asking questions here but I think you are asking the wrong one.

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Ok first question, are you famous?

 

Famous men will have success in this because many women are attracted to that fame and will want to tell their BFF they are having sex with some famous man.

 

Are you rich?

 

Now this is related to famous (rich and famous is best), but just being rich can help, even if they know you won't leave your wife because they could use the money and want to be pampered. This would be the classic mistress.

 

Are you demi-god like in your looks?

 

Are you the kind of guy that all the women turn their heads to see when you walk in a bar? Do you see one woman nudge the one next to them as you walk by to make sure her friend sees just how attractive you are? If so you are in luck, you can be a no strings boy toy.

 

Now assuming you are not famous, rich, or extremely attractive, you have a problem, and a problem we have seen many many many many many...many... times on this board.

 

The wife finds a 'boyfriend' in 2 to 3 days, and the guy is all happy for her and stuck waiting up on Friday night.

 

The reason for this is simple. We men will take any fuck if we find the woman attractive. Sure you are married but your husband doesn't mind? OK let's fuck.

 

Now lets look at it from the woman's prospective...

 

Sure you are married and your wife doesn't mind? Why would I have sex with you, when there are 10 single males and two married ones who are rich and might leave their wives over there? Whats in it for me? I can get casual sex at the drop of my panties, you need to bring something besides a dick to the table.

 

Open relationships are rare, there won't be many women like that on the 'market'. Single males who are just happy to get laid are plentiful, I know I would be one were I single and wasn't having sex. I used to be one, it was called college.

 

Basically what I'm saying is you might look for ages and never find anyone to just be your FB no strings attached. You are far more likely to find a woman who wanted to cheat on her husband than anything else.

 

Chicup, thanks for the time you put into this reply!!! I read it through a few times and I think you're probably (unfortunately for me) exactly right. I'm a normal guy all the way around and I do NOT have the time nor the desire to invest tons of time into pursuing a lady---I came to that realization last night while I was thinking about this. I'm happy with my wife and don't want to waste time developing anything more than NSA with someone else...it's just not worth it to me. I guess the convenient situation is unrealistic; thanks for helping me see that :)

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Chicup is right on target with the situation you're in.

 

There are few women who want an ongoing relationship with a married man unless he has something extra...money, fame, fantastic looks and charm. If you don't have those extras but you find a woman to be your FB, the woman will be hoping you'll eventually leave your wife for her.

 

LM

 

Thanks LM for the insight!! That's definitely NOT a situation I want to deal with.

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Swinging is not about falling for someone. That goes out of the bounds of Swinging. That steps over to fulfilling something that should only be fulfilled withing the relationship. Emotions and love. If that is being taken care of at home then she would not "fall" for someone outside of the home.

 

I would be looking into that.

 

Her suggestion of a girl friend for you might be to ease her mind about her "falling" for someone else outside of your relationship.

 

 

Thanks Vegaslee, I think it was my poor choice of words. "Fall" is not what happened. It's been my fantasy for a long time for her to have a bf and we talked about it for over two years. We agreed on the guy before even the slightest of flirting happened and I we are very open about the communication, as are he and I. My poor choice of words but thank you for the input.

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PTTimeDC, I feel for you. I am in a similar situation, except my wife is not interested in pursuing other relationships but has given me permission to "swing around." Well, after paying for a few sites in which I said that I am married with permission, guess what - there was no need to call the cops to disperse the desperate ladies who wanted to f&^& a dude like me.

 

Being 35, looking for a 20+ years older playmate (a long term fantasy of mine) I though that I will have at least some success - well, not so much for now.

 

Maybe we should start a support group: Underf__ed Husbands of Generous Wives, Inc.

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PTTimeDC, I feel for you. I am in a similar situation, except my wife is not interested in pursuing other relationships but has given me permission to "swing around." Well, after paying for a few sites in which I said that I am married with permission, guess what - there was no need to call the cops to disperse the desperate ladies who wanted to f&^& a dude like me.

 

Being 35, looking for a 20+ years older playmate (a long term fantasy of mine) I though that I will have at least some success - well, not so much for now.

 

Maybe we should start a support group: Underf__ed Husbands of Generous Wives, Inc.

 

Nllswing, I hear you, LOL. I'd join the support group in a second. I think the irony for me is that you hear of all these unhappy marriages and women who aren't satisfied with their sex lives, some to the point of completely giving up on it, yet none of them are out there trolling for a guy to have some great NSA sex! I don't get it.

 

Well, may you find some luck in your search as I look for mine....never say never, and all that stuff.

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I have none of the characteristics described by Chicup. Those certainly make it easier but it’s not imposable. The time-line and process is much different for men than women.

 

First rule with any prospective girlfriend is never lie. You’ll waste a lot of time.

 

Read “how to succeed with women” Amazon.com: How to Succeed with Women (9780735200302): Ron Louis, David Copeland: Books and implement the advice given. I wish I had read this in High School.

 

Plan on having no results for 2-3 months and by results I mean a date.

 

There are plenty of women that don’t want a full-time relationship. You just have to find them in a way women are receptive to.

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All I can say is keep your hopes up...I am the girlfriend to a guy in the reverse situation as you. He has a girlfriend with his significant other's ok and total knowledge, while she does not have a boyfriend and has no great interest in it.

 

So, it can happen :)

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Years ago I ran across a fellow who owned a liquor store and had a few gf's/customers. His wife was into the local social scene and didn't care what he did as long as she could do her thing. This guy really knew how to talk with and please women and kept a few happy when he made his lunch time deliveries.

 

Something that I imagine some of us have dreamed of. Not really swinging, but a case where the wife knew what was going on and tacitly approved.

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I have to wonder what sort of people need a lunch time delivery of liquor and while we are at it, how many were married.

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I have to wonder what sort of people need a lunch time delivery of liquor and while we are at it, how many were married

 

I'm kinda amazed they would have liquor delivery. Guessing that sort of thing is legal in some states, don't believe it is here.

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Never thought about the legality of liquor delivery here in CT, but then I grew up in Oklahoma in the 50's and all we had were bootleggers. The state was dry until September 1959. His was a "personalized" service. Have no idea if these ladies were married.

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I can imagine plenty of businesses that would accept lunch time deliveries of alcohol. The poster didn't differentiate.

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Guest rdy46227

She needs to be involved in finding one. She can check out the gossip, friends of friends, rumors about who might be interested/available. she can start a message going about your availability. She can be wing-woman if you go out looking.

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Well I have found that meeting other couples that like to to swing separately is a way to go. I have two girlfriends off of two couples and I am trying for a third. Reason for that is our schedules don't match right now and the dates aren't as often. With the two right now, I see one of them each month. My wife meets the male from one of the couples, and then she has her single male friend. I am very passionate and a romantic and find that a lot of women miss that.

 

My wife and I both have a large appetites and do also love mfm and fmf with these couples. Don't know if that's rare, but it works for us.

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We used to play with a couple that had an open marriage. She had many boyfriends, and all those guys were in the position you're in. So it does happen. I imagine it's like the proverbial needle and haystack in terms of odds though.

 

Would never work for us but the great thing about life is you get to live, for the most part, by your own rules.

 

Boris

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I run with the polyamorous crew in Austin. The hubby's find girlfriends too.

 

I must admit, I do miss the casual sex, especially of the naughtier type.

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Some people prefer to call it a playmate, some a girlfriend, some whatever.

My wife calls her favored guy a boyfriend, and it doesn't bother me.

 

I called my preferred gal a playmate. Sadly mine is moving out of state soon so I'll need to find another.

 

We've had the best luck with other couples who are open to separate play. My wife's boyfriend is a hubby, and while I've been with his wife, we dont play as frequently as my wife and her boyfriend do. We all text or talk with each other every few days or so, it's pretty cool actually.

 

My current playmate is a divorcée who is currently single, which actually seems to be the common type of single female that I've encountered.

 

As for finding a gal playmate, what I've done is just meeting people at events and going from there. And if you find one that "clicks" with you, maybe you will play more frequently and there you go.

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My take on this is that if you are married and are going to swing, the two of you best do it together. As has been said before by others, your woman will have no problem finding guys who are interested, but my experience has taught me that women are far more likely to not show a keen interest in a married guy who is on the prowl.

 

My ex wanted to go it alone and eventually that is how our marriage ended. She said it best, I think when she said,"if we can't find a playmate for you, what am I doing with you?"

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I think it will be difficult to find.

 

You are right, most single women will not go for this idea when you are married.

 

The best option is to go for a married couple, which will help keep the both you more involved together, which is in my opinion a better option anyway.

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If she's really concerned about the OP being "bored on Friday night" then why doesn't she offer to have a MFM with the new guy and the husband?

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I know this is an old post but I've been curious about this b/f-g/f thing with couples. Our first play-couple are exploring this. The wife has a b/f but the husband is having a hard time finding a g/f. Does this really work or is it just asking for trouble?

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I am sure there is a rare few it does. But I have personally watched this go down the tubes! I think it adds too much emotional responsibility to others that are suppose to be NSA to begin with. My personal opinion.

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The wife has a b/f but the husband is having a hard time finding a g/f.

 

That would be the norm. Husbands that find a g/f quickly are the exception to the rule.

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We have an open marriage and usually have long-term play mates.

 

When I look for a potential BF I look for single man who is busy with his career and has his mind free from all family obligations and his wife needs. He values his time and wants meet on a regular basis to have good sex and wants to relieve stress of everyday life. He can host, has a nice house with ton of music and he lives close to me. He knows how to make a girl happy, he is reasonably cute and in a decent shape.Oh, and he needs to be able to play in a condom at least for a couple first times. Not many men can stay hard with condoms.

 

I do have a lot of problems to find that perfect BF I want though. :D They are very rare species.

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Chicup's post was pretty brutal but it is 99% true. I say 99% because out of 100 women, at lease one will be attracted to a man regardless of his money, looks and fame. Those are the ones who just find you "cool in some way" but apart from that, a married guy finding girls is pretty hard in most situations.

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Chicup's post was pretty brutal but it is 99% true. I say 99% because out of 100 women, at lease one will be attracted to a man regardless of his money, looks and fame. Those are the ones who just find you "cool in some way" but apart from that, a married guy finding girls is pretty hard in most situations.

Is that because we are considered "used goods"?:lol:

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I believe that the spouse/SO needs to help find the girl friend. It is easier for the female to find others that would be interested in this type of arrangement and discuss it openly (giving permission in a way) about having sex with their husbands/boyfriends. She needs to PIMP you out to these ladies and it will require some extra effort. If for some reason she is not willing to assist with finding yours, then you might want to question the real reasons for hers. She should be more than interested in helping if she wants to see you as happy as her (selflessness, giving, compersion, etc).

 

You could go to the local Bars (Hotel Bars are even better) and find an undersexed married woman that needs a little action on the side. Just remember those are the cheaters and they tend to come with there own set of problems.

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We have had success finding 'unicorns' who are in sexless marriages.

 

Basically, they are horny and their husbands can't really perform so we fit the bill. We meet them together and play together, but I know a few women that would be interested in a one on one with me.

 

They like that we are attached so that there is no 'deepening' of the relationship.

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      Within a week Sue came home from work and said that the Director (John) called her in his office and shut the door.  He started with, "I want to be very careful of what I'm going to say because I don't want to lose my job if I offend you about something." 
       
      Sue interrupted him and said,  "I know what you are talking about.  We've been having discussions that probably cross the line, and we are both guilty of that.  So say what you want to say, and I won't be offended." 
       
      John then told her that she's been driving him crazy and that he constantly thinks about her.  He also said, "Even right now with you in my office I want to bend you over my desk and have sex with you." 
       
      Sue then looked at him and said, "John, I've known we were heading to this based upon our conversations, and I didn't want to stop it.  Obviously, we can't do anything in your office, but all you need to do is invite me to your house."   And then she said, "And to be honest about it, my husband knows and is ok with it." 
       
      John was a divorced man so he lived alone and didn't have to worry about sneaking around.  And with that, Sue came home after work and told me that that Friday she would be leaving work right at 5 pm and going to John's house.
       
      I made arrangements with my best friend to go out to a sports bar for the night, to help me keep my mind off things to help the time go by quicker.  I got home at 10 p.m. wondering if Sue would be home.....and I waited and watched as the clock hit 11 p.m., midnight, and then I finally called her at 12:30 in the morning and she answered her  phone stating she was on her way and would be home by 1 a.m.  John lived 25 minutes in the other direction from work so he lived about one hour from our house. 
       
      As soon as Sue got home she looked at me and all she said was "I don't care how tired  you are, you need to take me to bed to re-claim me."  I asked her how it went and she said she'd tell me when we got to bed.  I was surprised she spent so much time with him.  Apparently John came inside her three times, telling her that he "was inspired" by her.  Sue told me that even after cumming in her, that he'd leave his cock in her pussy because he wanted to take advantage of every minute he had with her.  And they would either spoon after cumming or they would be facing each other with his cock still in her and they'd just talk....and they did that all three times he came. 
       
      The next morning was Saturday and it looked like she was getting dressed for work.  I asked her what she was doing and she said she had to go back into work as they were working on a major project with pressing deadlines.  For the 1st time in all these years of being open minded it really bothered me knowing she would be with him again after just getting fucked by him about 10 hours earlier.  I didn't like it because I felt their relationship was getting more "personal", rather than just about the sex. Little did I know what would happen later. 
       
      About 2-3 years later we were in our bedroom getting ready to call it a night and Sue looked up at me and said, "I have to tell you something and I'm worried about you getting mad but I can't live like this, keeping a secret from you."  I asked her what she was talking about and I never even thought of John being brought up.  She then proceeded to tell me that after that first night with John that she saw him a couple more times.  That three times she went to his house when she told me she was going shopping and that one time he was out sick and he had called her at work, and that during lunch she went to his house to visit him because when he called her he jokingly said, "I'm in the mood for a blowjob right now, can you come over at lunch time"...and that's what she did. 
       
      I went silent when she told me this and all I said was, "leave the room, I need time to think through this."  I didn't speak to her that night and didn't respond to her trying to bring up conversation for the next couple of days.  Finally she came to me and said, "All right, I understand you're angry but can you please speak to me.  I don't know what I can do other than keep apologizing to you."  She said that she would be willing to do "anything to earn back your trust." 
       
      I looked at her and told her that she was right about me being angry and that I felt betrayed and I didn't know how long it would take me to get over that feeling.  I also told her that I couldn't get it out of my mind that she had made arrangements with another man, to fuck him, and she kept it from me.  We had always been open with each other about this.  I mentioned how hurt I was by the deceit rather than the physical act of having sex and developing a friendship with John but that at the same time I felt myself being turned on by it. 
       
      I then asked her if she was serious about doing "anything" to earn back my trust?  She said "yes", and I said, "you might not like what I'm about to say." She said it didn't matter if she liked it or not, she just wanted to earn back my trust.  I proceeded to tell her that I would be going on Adult Friend Finder and that I would find a guy that she would have to start fucking. 
       
      So I eventually found another person named John and met up with him.  He was a divorced guy who owned his own small construction company that included two different crews.  They would build homes, and do high end renovations.  He lived alone, and his schedule was fairly flexible.  All John asked of me was to bring pictures of Sue as I told him I needed to meet him alone first as I knew the type of guy Sue would be interested in. 
       
      I told Sue what I was doing.  She said she understood.  I told her I needed to take a few pictures of her in fairness to John to see if he would be interested.  Sue again understood. 
       
      I met with John and he was absolutely interested in Sue based upon the pictures and I could tell he had a personality that would go well with Sue's.  When I came home after meeting John I told Sue about meeting John and felt that he would work out well.  I also told Sue, that if things went well after the three of us getting together the first time that "earning my trust" would require a longer term Friends with Benefits situation, until I got the previous situation out of my system  Again, Sue said she understood.  
       
      We met at John's house and got pizza delivered to help start the relationship and eventually I just said, "Are both of you comfortable"?  They both said yes, and with that John took Sue into his bedroom and they fucked each other.  When they were done, they both came out of the bedroom fully dressed.  I then told Sue to take off her shirt and pants as I wanted her to just be standing in front of John and me with her sheer green bra and matching sheer green panties.  She gave me this look, and I just shrugged and said, "you know why." 
       
      She did what she was asked and we visited for about another 20 minutes, giving John the opportunity to stare at Sue's totally sheer bra, still exposing her tits and nipples the entire time...and left for home.  On the drive, Sue did say that John was a very friendly person.  I told her that John and I would be talking the next day to get his feelings but that she needed to be prepared for anything because of her prior indiscretion with the previous John.  All she replied with was "OK, I understand."
       
      John and I had our conversation and he said the night couldn't have gone better and that he was very attracted to Sue, and that he also just had a very good feeling of a relationship between the three of us.  I told him I agreed. 
       
      When I got home, Sue asked how my conversation with John went.  I told her that he was attracted to her and he enjoyed the sex with her.  I asked Sue if she would be upset if I told her that he was the one I was going to pick for her to start fucking on a regular basis and she said if that is what she needed to do to regain trust that she could do it as she also felt they were compatible in bed, and she also liked the conversation the three of us had and felt we all could be friends. 
       
      But Sue didn't know what would be happening next.  I told Sue that John and I discussed how "moving forward" would look like and that we both were in agreement.  I then gave Sue John's phone number and told her he was expecting her call.  That from now on the two of them would communicate with each other but Sue, unlike with the previous John, needed to tell me every time she and John would be getting together. Again, Sue understood and said she promised to be totally honest with me about anything to do with John and she was willing to do whatever I wanted her to do, given what had previously happened. 
       
      I then looked at Sue and told her to call John, and I wanted her to be "forward" with him on the phone and that she first needed to ask him if he felt comfortable after meeting the two of us (I already knew how he was going to answer).  I then instructed Sue to specifically say on the phone that she was "also very comfortable both in conversation, as well as being in bed with him."  Sue then stated, at my request, "I'm interested in seeing you on a regular basis if you are.  And if you can commit to not dating any women on the side, I'll commit to having sex with you, pretty much whenever you want.  And, one more thing, if you are ok with it, I'd rather you no longer wear a condom." 
       
      And that started what turned out to be about a 15 year relationship where we are all still friends today. About two months after they started seeing each other, John called me and asked about the possibility of Sue working for him part time.  He was thinking about her going to his house two days a week, just half days.  One day would be to work on calling back customers who call to set up an appointment with him, and another half day to take care of sending out the bills, and making bill payments to suppliers, etc. 
       
      I had an idea pop into my head because I was still of the mindset of "punishing" Sue for cheating on me earlier.  John really liked my idea and now I was going to tell Sue.  When I told Sue what John had asked and what he and I decided she initially thought it was asking too much...but I reminded her about how hurtful her cheating had been and that I really needed her to do this. 
       
      Sue was a teacher and was about to have almost three full months off.  I told her that John would be paying her to work part time out of his house for two days a week.  She needed to be at his house around 7:30 in the morning to review his schedule so she could set up appointments for him to meet with people calling asking for a quote of construction work, and then on the second day she would handle all the billing that needed to be either paid, or invoiced. 
       
      She looked at me perplexed as if to say, "Ok, what's the big deal?" I then told her that EVERY day she went to his house to work that she was not allowed to wear a bra, and had to wear a top that was revealing either because of sheerness or being low cut. 
       
      After her saying, "Are your serious?", I responded, "You are damn right I'm serious, and frankly it's all because you were fucking the other John without telling me.  Now I'll know for the next three months what you'll be doing, and the plan is that you and John will be fucking each other each day, and sometimes 2X a day (when you first get there, and when he comes home for lunch). 
       
      She said, "Ok, I get it, but I hope this is coming to the end of it."  I then had her call John and had her say the following to him, "I hear  you have a job opening for me, can you confirm the dress code and expectations that I just heard from my husband."  She listened to his response and said "When do you want me to start?.  And for the next three months she arrived at John's house, always with a sweater on in case she got stopped by a police officer or if something weird happened on her way "to work." And the first thing she did when she got in the house was take her sweater off. 
       
      The very first time she was to go to work she came downstairs and took her sweater off and said, "Does this meet  your approval?"  She was obviously braless, wearing a thin, low cut tank top with low arm holes exposing plenty of side boob, and you could make out the color of her nipples through the top.  I told Sue I couldn't have picked out better work attire and then she went to work. 
       
      During the three months doing this I had to go on a business trip for a few days so I called John and told him to call Sue and ask her out to dinner and make plans to spend some time at his house.  I also told John I wanted "photo proof of him fucking her so I know she went."  This was also going to be a test to see if Sue would be honest about telling me what she was going to do. 
       
      About 30 minutes after talking with John, Sue called me.  She told me that John had asked her out to dinner and wanted to make sure I was ok with that?  She said it felt like she was going "on a date" rather than just being a friend with benefits.  I told her it felt the same way to me, and considering that she pretty much "went on dates" with the previous John without my knowledge, that she now needed to realize that she was about to start dating John WITH my knowledge.  She asked how much longer she needed to go through with this and I told her I hadn't even started to think about that yet because I had been hurt so much. 
       
      So Sue and John had their first "date" while I was away on business.  John sent me an email that included an attachment.  He laughingly wrote: "As you requested, my first date with your wife happened.  I also told her that you asked me to inform her that you wanted her to agree to start "dating me" rather than just me fucking her.  And she agreed to it, so once she's back teaching and can't come over during the summer anymore, she is going to start seeing me for longer periods of time rather than coming over for an hour to fuck each other, we'll grab dinner or take a drive somewhere."
       
      John also told me to watch the attachment as he sent "more than a photo".  I opened the attachment and saw two things: a photo of my wife's face with his cock in her mouth, pressing her cheek from the inside so I could see his cock bump pushing out her cheek. And he also sent me a video that lasted a few minutes of him fucking her.  He told me not to worry, that he'd delete both the photo and video, but I told him I wanted him to keep it so he'd always be able to look back on how they looked fucking each other. 
       
      And that relationship lasted around 15 years.  After fucking John about 10 times Sue told me that she noticed something different and wanted to be honest with me.  I asked her what she was talking about.  She said it felt like John was "fucking" her at times like he was paying for it but other times it was more emotional, it was starting to feel like he was "making love" to her. I told her I guess that would be normal after seeing someone consistently that you liked.  I told her I was ok with that. 
       
      She then said she was starting to feel like she was making love to him at times, that it was emotional for her as well feeling like she was giving her body to someone she cared about as a friend.  She wasn't having any feelings of being in love with him, but she was getting some emotional connection where she wanted to give herself to him when they saw each other.  It turned me on. The frequency of sex got less over the last couple of years but he and I estimated, that not counting the three months she worked for him and they fucked anywhere from 2-4 times a week, that he had fucked her somewhere between 50-100 times. 
       
      And to this day, years later, the thought that she's been fucked so much by the same guy is a turn-on.  We all still remain friends today.  I thought that would be the end of our openess in our marriage but there would be two other men that would enter our lives, both of which got substantial time with my hotwife.  And she wanted it. 
       
      If you'd like to read about it, let me know and I'll write it up.
    • By TeamCalgary
      Hello all. 
       
      We have been engaged in the LS since Sept 2019 and have noticed a pattern in our activity; curious whether this mirrors that of many of you. 
       
      When we first began, we meet folks usually online, and occasionally in a social setting.  Initially, our goal to gain a face to face meeting with the potential couple; a coffee, a drink, whatever. Looking back on it, we likely met with too many couples who were not good fits. 
       
      Now, our goal is to ascertain the "fit" earlier in the process, so that we meet fewer couples, but the ones that we do meet are, in theory at least, ideally better fits for us. 
       
      Peeling back the onion on this, it appears that we have gotten better at asking some of the dealbreaker questions upfront
      (condom use, drug use, PnP, same room, play together,  etc) that would help to stratify best fit earlier in the process, long before we ever potentially meet.
       
      Red flags are also coming into play as we are now more aware of what some of these things are and how they influence what works for us, and what doesn't. 
       
      For those of you who have extensive experience in the LS, we would welcome your comments in terms of how you ascertain "fit". Is it a process or a particular step; certain questions upfront, etc?
       
      Many thanks.
    • By Trophy1802
      We are heading to Cuba on May 4th and will be staying at a non-lifestyle resort. As we enjoy getting together with other couples or inviting another guy to join us for some threesome fun, we are wondering if anyone has had any luck in attracting or getting the attention of potential interested play partners at non-LS resorts?
       
      If so, does anyone have any suggestions/tips/tricks that could help us in seeing if there are other people in the LS like us that may be willing to explore the possibility of some adult fun during our stay? After all, we are sure that we are not the only LS people that frequent non-LS resorts from time-to-time.
       
      Thanks and all the best to all Swingersboard members.
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