Why are they not attracted to my hubby?

[markley 15]

We seem to come across a lot of situations where I'm the main attraction and the guys are into me but their wives aren't into my husband. He is a goodlooking guy, average build, very well groomed, and smart...does drink but doesn't get trashed and he is friendly...so what's the issue? Help, I want him to have fun too!

[N8ture Girl 318]

While there could be a number of reasons why this is happening, one thought comes to my mind. Is there a big age difference between you and your hubby? We have gone through similar, hubby and I are ten years apart and it seems that some couples that are my age are inclined to be really into me, but not my hubby. On the other hand, couples that are around his age are into both of us. This isnt something that happens often for us but has happened. In your case this could be one possibility out of many!

 

Other ideas would be: confusion in your profile, couples that are not really honest with you in what they are looking for. One other question I have is how long have you been looking?

[Chicup 41]

Thread is useless without pictures.

 

My wife thinks I'm pretty hot too yet if there is going to be an anchor in our swinging, it is me.

[N8ture Girl 318]

My wife thinks I'm pretty hot too....

 

From what I have seen, I will have to agree with Mrs Chicup

[Swingly 15]

Mister Swingly here- what does one of these situations look like? Is it something like this: You're in a club, see an attractive couple, start up a conversation and then the other wife is like "nope, your hubby's a chud"? Or are you just "getting a feeling" that other ladies aren't attracted to him.

 

If it's a profile picture issue, I've noticed quite a number of profile pics at SLS that look like they could be mug shots- they don't really tell the viewer "we're a fun, happy couple."

[Chicup 41]

From what I have seen, I will have to agree with Mrs Chicup

 

Checks profile, 500+ miles away, sighs.

[celtic239 297]

I wouldn't worry because everything that I've read on this board seems to indicate that a four way hook up is generally difficult to accomplish.

[lizandtom 512]

With nothing else to go by, a VERY common situation in the lifestyle is guys pulling their wives along to be swingers. After they've convinced their wives to go to a club, etc., many wives are passive and timid except for the thrill of trying a bi experience and perhaps a three way without considering the male 1/2 of the other woman.

 

If you give off the cues in a club of being outgoing and open to other males, they'll jump right in like sharks circling the lone seal while their wives may lay back and just tolerate it all.

 

As the female, if you don't do it already, you have to play the role of the director, so when you're flirting with a guy(s) ask them if they think their wives like, or may like, your husband. If so then being the more outgoing of the females be the icebreaker amongst all four of you to get things going. If not then time to move on until you find compatible couple(s) that do.

 

When we host which is pretty regularly, my wife pretty soon after settling into our lair will get down to her intimate apparel and play 'semi naked' bartender which always gets the party started.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

We can sit here and guess and come up with a a thousand possible answers, but without better information, i am not sure it is helpful to do so.

 

How are you meeting people, online, socials, clubs?

Are women ignoring him from the start, or after 30 seconds of conversation of declining after 15 minutes?

 

Give us some details of how the interactions are occurring and I think we can focus in on potential problems then you will get some better advice.

[Chicup 41]

We can sit here and guess and come up with a a thousand possible answers, but without better information, i am not sure it is helpful to do so.

 

How are you meeting people, online, socials, clubs?

Are women ignoring him from the start, or after 30 seconds of conversation of declining after 15 minutes?

 

Give us some details of how the interactions are occurring and I think we can focus in on potential problems then you will get some better advice.

 

That and a picture.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

....does drink but doesnt get trashed and he is friendly.....

This stood out, since you felt like mentioning it, I wonder if maybe some people notice his drinking differently than you or your husband do?

 

We could all keep making guesses. Please share more about your situation. People have asked good questions. I hope you will reply.

 

I'm happy to see that this is your first post since joining us earlier this year.

 

Welcome!

 

LM

[olderyder 15]

IMHO, it seems to me, your hubby must not be a "hot bodied young stud". If there is an age difference between the two of you, that is another strike. Three years of trying everything we could think of, and taking all the advice we could get have convinced us that those are the two biggest stumbling blocks to your hubby's chances in the LS. When you add in the almost mythical "4 way connection", you are up against an almost insurmountable wall. According to what we have been able to determine, the two of you will have to settle for doing MFM's with him or playing without him. This may sound harsh and unfriendly, but I'm only relating what has been our experience and trying to be more honest with you folks than anyone was with us. Good luck in whatever you decide.

[N8ture Girl 318]

IMHO, it seems to me, your hubby must not be a "hot bodied young stud". If there is an age difference between the two of you, that is another strike. Three years of trying everything we could think of, and taking all the advice we could get have convinced us that those are the two biggest stumbling blocks to your hubby's chances in the LS. When you add in the almost mythical "4 way connection", you are up against an almost insurmountable wall. According to what we have been able to determine, the two of you will have to settle for doing MFM's with him or playing without him. This may sound harsh and unfriendly, but I'm only relating what has been our experience and trying to be more honest with you folks than anyone was with us. Good luck in whatever you decide.

 

You dont have to be a hot bodied young stud to make it in the lifestyle! And just because a man is older than his lady doesnt mean he is dead either. In our case we have done very well in the LF and found many mythical 4 way connections. With out more info its hard to say what is a miss here. If age is a factor then where are they looking? Someone in there 30's and 40's going to events where most are in there 20's probably wont fair to well for the older man. I dont agree at all that they will have to "settle" for MFM's. There are 4 way matches out there, in my opinion if you can't find them then your looking in the wrong place, or there is something wrong with your approach or attitude, or the ideal playmate in your mind doesnt exsist in reality.

 

But I am eager to hear from the OP to answer some of these questions were are asking!

[iceman7570 40]

Mrs. iceman here, I too have had a few similar situations where the other couple is interested in myself and not my husband. We were told that from our picture that he looked too mean and too big. But after the couples that were truly interested in us as a couple met us, they had a lot of good things to say about us and they disagreed with the other,( not truly interested in us as a couple), couples. Until a couple can get passed what they see on the outside and give the couple a chance by getting to meet them, there will probably be a lot of the not interested in your husband and just you.

[Chicup 41]

Ok the OP has one post, and gave us basically no real information and we have people talking about age differences, how he acts, if he is a drunk, and that they must settle for MFM's only.

 

 

We have almost no information beyond that the OP thinks her husband is attractive and has an 'average' build which in today's America could mean about anything (provided they are even in the US).

 

The guy might be 40 years older than her.

He might be 'average' of 5'3" 280 lbs.

He might have a face only a mother and wife could love.

He might have horrible body odor.

He might, he might, he might.

 

So come back markley. The problem might be simply you are hooking up with couples which really just want a female, that happens too.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Maybe you do all the talking for him ?

 

We get that sometimes with wives who's husbands are going to be in our area. They tell us all about him and where to meet him.

 

Thats not much af a way to meet someone..... So we dont.

[Mrs.iceman 15]

Just for the record iceman my husband is a big guy and always has been, he is 6-4 and about 330 so he is big with lots of tatts and even so he still has such a soft touch and hands too so when he gives a hug it is like WOW. just a big ol teddy bear with attitude though its a Marine thing for us........lol

[markley 15]

Ok the OP has one post, and gave us basically no real information and we have people talking about age differences, how he acts, if he is a drunk, and that they must settle for MFM's only.

 

 

We have almost no information beyond that the OP thinks her husband is attractive and has an 'average' build which in today's America could mean about anything (provided they are even in the US).

 

The guy might be 40 years older than her.

He might be 'average' of 5'3" 280 lbs.

He might have a face only a mother and wife could love.

He might have horrible body odor.

He might, he might, he might.

 

So come back markley. The problem might be simply you are hooking up with couples which really just want a female, that happens too.

 

Ok my husband is 41 I'm 44 so theres no age difference. he is very careful as to how much he drinks (he is not a big drinker anyway) he is of average build and 6 ft tall..we will post a pic on here today hopefully..we generally go to swing clubs we actually only go to a couple different ones..we hace had 2 really good experiences with 2 couples...just dont understand why if a guy is flirting with me his wife either stands there like a lump or walks off and talks to other people my husbanb is polite and not at all pushy.

[markley 15]

We can sit here and guess and come up with a a thousand possible answers, but without better information, i am not sure it is helpful to do so.

 

How are you meeting people, online, socials, clubs?

Are women ignoring him from the start, or after 30 seconds of conversation of declining after 15 minutes?

 

Give us some details of how the interactions are occurring and I think we can focus in on potential problems then you will get some better advice.

 

it seems that if me and the womens hubby start getting VERY friendly my husband will move in slowly with her and maybe rub her shoulders gently while they watch us and I Have witnessed this he will be very slow at approaching her sexually like example he will rub her shoulders and back for a good five minutes before he gently carresses her ass or breasts so its not like hes a fumbling kid trying to cop a feel I LOVE when he rubs my back and shoulders I melt when he does that to me...

[it'sso 198]

Maybe the women you and your husband are meeting really don't "like" sex and are just into the activities in order to satiate their SO's appetite without having to contribute ANYTHING?

[slevin 1,374]

it seems that if me and the womens hubby start getting VERY friendly my husband will move in slowly with her and maybe rub her shoulders gently while they watch us and I Have witnessed this he will be very slow at approaching her sexually like example he will rub her shoulders and back for a good five minutes before he gently carresses her ass or breasts so its not like hes a fumbling kid trying to cop a feel I LOVE when he rubs my back and shoulders I melt when he does that to me...

 

He is doing what always works for you, but perhaps that is not what will work for other women.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

...just dont understand why if a guy is flirting with me his wife either stands there like a lump or walks off and talks to other people my husbanb is polite and not at all pushy.

Besides this action being a sign that she is not interested in your husband, she may also be sending a message that she is not be happy with her husband flirting with you.

 

it seems that if me and the womens hubby start getting VERY friendly my husband will move in slowly with her and maybe rub her shoulders gently while they watch us and I Have witnessed this he will be very slow at approaching her sexually like example he will rub her shoulders and back for a good five minutes before he gently carresses her ass or breasts so its not like hes a fumbling kid trying to cop a feel I LOVE when he rubs my back and shoulders I melt when he does that to me...

I would not like this approach. I don't like a man rubbing me until I have made it clear that I am interested in him. I'd suggest he not do this until he is sure the woman is interested in him.

 

I think a man needs to start with a brief touch now and then--throughout the conversation--in non-threatening places and see if the woman reciprocates. Until she does, don't do any more touching. As slevin said, you may love your husband rubbing you but it probably isn't something he should do until play begins, or until the woman is giving him lots of touching and other signals that she is interested in play.

 

And if a man was rubbing me as he watches his wife this would make me feel like I was nothing more than a replacement for his cock, which he is unable to rub at the moment.

 

You might consider your part in this. Take it slower with the men who are interested, try to pace yourself differently than you have been. Consider that a good match is when all four are making progress at close to equal speed. Don't let your flirtations escalate until you are seeing some progress between the other woman and your husband.

 

LM

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

it seems that if me and the womens hubby start getting VERY friendly my husband will move in slowly with her

 

It sound like this is past the photo stage and people are agreeing to meet you, or at socials where they clearly know what you both look like. So it does not sound like they are turned off visually. Is that correct?

 

If so it sound like you should consider other factors. Aromas (too much cologne, BO, cigarette breath, too much booze on his breath, etc) and personality (too touchy feely, too little physical contact, no conversation, blabs incessantly, arrogant, shy etc etc.) .

 

Okay, does VERY friendly mean you the other H have clicked and are clear that moving forward toward sex is what is desired? Or is it just more in depth getting to know you, maybe a kiss or two?

 

Like LM said, rubbing all over someone too early can be a turn off. On the other hand, if you and the other H are clearly ready to go forward, then him moving too slowly can be a bit of a turn off.

 

At what point in the encounter are we talking here? My wife is a bit shy and warms up slowly, I am gregarious. Once we all click and the green light is given by all parties involved, I move much slower than my wife and I sometimes get the question from the other W if I am REALLY interested. That is something I have forced myself to work on (recognizing the signs, moving along more quickly without being too aggressive, etc.).

 

Also, if you and the other H are at the stage that you are ready to move forward, are either/both of you checking to see if the other W and your husband have clicked and are ready? At what stage is the other couple bailing? Who says what to whom? (In other words, is the other H telling you my wife is not into him, do they just politely find something else to do, what exactly?)

 

One thing that comes to mind here, is the other W may be reacting to you as well. IF you are too aggressive too soon it might be a turn off to some wives, no matter what the hubby thinks.

[Youngcalcpl 125]

Olderyder makes a good point on the whole "4 way connection". It doesn't help if only 3 out of the 4 feel an attraction unless the last holdout feels like taking one for the team.

 

Our biggest hurdle is finding a male from a couple that my wife would find attractive. I would have to say she isn't picky as she could find loads (no pun intended) of guys just walking through costco that would work but it seems like none of those people are on SLS.

 

Most couples don't post a single picture of the male half in their profiles and making the effort to contact them and then having to tell them after that their was no attraction just sucks for all of us. The few couples that post pictures of their husbands seem to also take shots where the guy looks like he is trying to show how bad ass he is. God forbid someone smile in their picture. (*Goes to look at his own profile and sticks foot in mouth*)

 

Attraction is a tricky thing. What one woman wants another hates. I'm sure as many people have turned us down due to my looks as we have turned down ourselves.

 

Try some different pictures in your profile to show him off as a start. Maybe post them here and we can all approve them for you.

[lustylearning 705]

Maybe watch the speed with which you respond? My husband and I have had difficulty in the past because he's flirty enough to get to kisses (though he claims he can do this without intent of going further), when the Mr. and I have barely spoken. I have extreme difficulty progressing from that point, because then I feel somehow manipulated or carried down someone else's path. Eh, just a guess. If your husband is the type who likes to draw women in, and your style is very quick and responsive, you'll have trouble achieving the four-way match, because you'll be working at cross purposes. Maybe let your husband be the aggressor in meeting couples?

[DigginIt 1,132]

Every situation we encounter is different. It goes at different speeds, different participation levels, etc. If you are seeing a pattern then I would probably reevaluate what the two of you are doing.

 

There certainly isn't enough communication taking place and with the amount of couples that play separately then you should never assume that just because the hubby is interested that the wife will be also.

 

This isn't the time to be shy and there is a way to be tactful but direct. Sometimes that could be something simple like "Wow, you are sexy but my husband and I only play as a couple with other couples." That should open the conversation at least.

 

Good luck.

[incommunicado 228]

I have a theory as to why ordinary guys can have a harder time of things in the lifestyle. (and it's JUST a theory, so don't beat me up too hard). When it comes to swinging, MOST men, are much more forgiving of variations in women's body styles, than MOST women are in men. I believe that MOST men's biggest fantasy is to be wanted/desired by another woman. So, if someone expresses interest, and enthusiasm, we will do our best to find an attraction. Women want this too, but they also want more from their fantasies. They want them to BE fantasies.

 

To illustrate this point, I just read a profile online the other day, where the couple said they are (both) looking for women who are anywhere from athletic to Rubinesque (sp?), "so women shouldn't worry about a few extra pounds." But, the husband has to be tall and in shape. The woman can fall under a flexible scale of beauty, but the man is held to much more stringent requirements?

 

Sure, women also want a guy to be kind, considerate, charming, and skilled. But, they will start with HOT and work up or down from there. Women don't look at other women's ordinary husbands and do the simple math that "If SHE's HOT, HE must have something serious going on to have gotten/kept her! I HAVE to know what it is!" Or, "If my ordinary looking husband is Spider-man in the sack, her's MUST be too! I must get me some of that!" Why? Because she already has the ordinary looking husband who is Spider-man in the sack. She wants the extraordinary looking man who is THOR in the sack (it's the hammer. Chicks dig it)!

 

So, what does this mean for ordinary guys? Are we doomed to a life of MFM, FFM, or just watching our wives with more attractive couples? Not necessarily, but our job IS harder. Just like it is in every day dating when competing against the lifeguards, and football players of our youth. Not all avenues or venues for swinging will be our friend. We have to find our way into very social swinging atmospheres, where women are more likely to meet us, and get to know us as people (i.e., smart, funny, charming etc.). When given a chance to show what makes us attractive on the inside, we increase the chance that women will find us attractive on the outside. It just takes a little more doing to make this happen. And, sometimes this is easier said than done.

 

But, again, it's just a theory.

[Chicup 41]

I have a theory as to why ordinary guys can have a harder time of things in the lifestyle. (and it's JUST a theory, so don't beat me up too hard). When it comes to swinging, MOST men, are much more forgiving of variations in women's body styles, than MOST women are in men. I believe that MOST men's biggest fantasy is to be wanted/desired by another woman. So, if someone expresses interest, and enthusiasm, we will do our best to find an attraction. Women want this too, but they also want more from their fantasies. They want them to BE fantasies.

 

I would say that for us thats completely true but only in total opposite.

 

I want the women to be hot, my wife is far more open to variation. I know I can be desired by women, but being desired by the women I desire is a different thing.

 

Now that being said we were at a large meet and greet and 80% of the people were in our age range. Should have been a good crop but while there were a number of attractive to very attractive women, there was only one guy there (leaving myself out of it) who was really even anything beyond 'meh'.

 

Good looking guys are actually more rare than good looking women (I read that recently in a study) and a lot of guys seem to let themselves go more than the women after 40.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

When it comes to swinging, MOST men, are much more forgiving of variations in women's body styles, than MOST women are in men. I believe that MOST men's biggest fantasy is to be wanted/desired by another woman. So, if someone expresses interest, and enthusiasm, we will do our best to find an attraction. Women want this too, but they also want more from their fantasies. They want them to BE fantasies.

 

Hmmmm, ok,I can agree with this to some degree. As a general rule, guys, from an early age, put a lot more emphasis on getting "laid." So, in general, guys are much more accepting of "variation," maybe.

 

I think in part it goes back to being "picky" ( I don't like that word) or discriminating. I know we both have a wider range of variation for those we would have sex with than if we were looking for someone to have a life with. Some people might deem that as not being "picky" enough. But I would disagree.

 

Take this example. Recently my wife and I were discussing guys she might be interested in. I am still on a quest to figure out her taste so I can do a better job of finding potential playmates. I pointed out a pair of twin guys. Other than facial hair and hair length they were identical twins in every way; looks, height, body type and even dress. The first one I saw and pointed pointed out to her. Her reaction was pretty blah, "nah, not really interested in him." Then she sees the other twin a few minutes later and she is"oh, yeah, I like him." Ironically, she liked the one I would have ruled out because of her previous preferences on hair length and facial hair.

 

On the other hand, she recently pointed out a well built blond that most people consider attractive, even hot. She was also similar to woman I have pursued, been with and that I thought were hot. For some reason, even I don't know why, I did not find her the least bit interesting. If I were to describe her as "taking one for the team" then most guys would say I was crazy, but it would have doing that for me. My wife tried to figure it out, pointing out that this woman was very similar to another woman I found hot. But for whatever reason I was not interested at all.

 

On another occasion I was interested in a woman that does not fit my typical ideal at all. My wife figured I was pursuing her because I thought my wife might be interested in the husband. It took some work to convince her I was not "taking one for the team" because this woman was so different from my "norm." I can't explain that one either, but I found her hot.

 

The point is I don't think who we are attracted to can be boiled down to a check list, a set of feature that are a go/nogo. Even if we could, al la Weird Science, create the perfect playmate, I think we would still find others that do not fit that mold attractive at times.

 

I think that is why I cringe when I see someone create a list of "requirements" - must be blond, 5'4" to 5'6", 110-135 pounds and size C or above. Sure it might be their fantasy to be with someone like that, but they are ruling out so many potentially great playmates.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I am still on a quest to figure out her taste so I can do a better job of finding potential playmates.

 

Good luck with that. I've been trying to figure out Mrs two4you's tastes in men for 7 years now, failing miserably almost every time. No biggie though, I find my ineptness in this arena rather amusing.

[sweet_tna 680]

When it comes to swinging, MOST men, are much more forgiving of variations in women's body styles, than MOST women are in men. I believe that MOST men's biggest fantasy is to be wanted/desired by another woman. So, if someone expresses interest, and enthusiasm, we will do our best to find an attraction. Women want this too, but they also want more from their fantasies. They want them to BE fantasies.

 

To a point, I think you may have hit the nail on the head. I know it's affected Mr. Sweet's and my luck finding playmates. Neither of us is svelte, but it seems more guys are interested in me than the ladies are in him. The kicker is, he tends to be the "pickier" (I don't like that word, either) of the two of us.

 

What this all boils down to is that one of the biggest challenges in swinging is to make a four-way connection, no matter how attractive they are, or what they do.

 

If the others have suggested something that resonates with you, then try to see if you can make those adjustments. Otherwise, just hang in there . . .

 

=)

[LFM2 1,482]

Good luck with that. I've been trying to figure out Mrs two4you's tastes in men for 7 years now, failing miserably almost every time. No biggie though, I find my ineptness in this arena rather amusing.

 

You and Dave. However, I find it amusing that he has no clue.

[exploringRM 305]

Good looking guys are actually more rare than good looking women (I read that recently in a study) and a lot of guys seem to let themselves go more than the women after 40.

 

Not sure of the statistical results, but I tend to agree. My wife always laments the fact that there are not that many guys she is attracted to and so many she's hot he's not couples. We are 51/50 and nature (as well as lifestyle) is not always kind to men.

 

For us, I have a wider range in what I find attractive in a women than my wife in men. And sometimes there's no explaining what specifically attracts me. Neither of us are Ken and Barbie, I need to lose 25 lbs and wife needs to as well, so we are not expecting people we interact with to be 9% body fat.

 

I do notice that checking out couples in vanilla bars, my wife finds the guys more attractive in general than in the swinging world. It's not like she wants some hot supermodel guy. I know she's not into XXL men (weight wise, the teddy bear type), does not like "furry" guys and needs to like their eyes. Her preference is men my height (5'11") and taller though that's not always a deal breaker.

[Chicup 41]

I do notice that checking out couples in vanilla bars, my wife finds the guys more attractive in general than in the swinging world. It's not like she wants some hot supermodel guy. I know she's not into XXL men (weight wise, the teddy bear type), does not like "furry" guys and needs to like their eyes. Her preference is men my height (5'11") and taller though that's not always a deal breaker.

 

I've seen this as well but I don't know if its a swinger thing or just a cross sectional coincidence just because you have more men to sample in the vanilla world.

 

I'm always surprised to see a swinger wife dolled up and sexily dressed while the man is wearing a sweatshirt and every day jeans who hasn't shaved since the morning and its 10pm.

[sexcupid 809]

I'm always surprised to see a swinger wife dolled up and sexily dressed while the man is wearing a sweatshirt and every day jeans who hasn't shaved since the morning and its 10pm.

 

This always gives me a vibe of either pimping the wife out or just using her as bait which, either way, doesn't really sit well with me. lol

 

I do notice that checking out couples in vanilla bars, my wife finds the guys more attractive in general than in the swinging world.

 

Perhaps she is able to "relax" her standards in a manner because she's just window shopping so to speak? I mean, what's the harm in finding a guy attractive just to enjoy looking at him, but once there is a possibility for clothes to come off (in a swinger club) the ante is upped and the more stringent criteria apply? Or depending on what kind of vanilla bars/clubs you are in there are more attractive people out on the prowl. Interesting observation

[exploringRM 305]

Perhaps she is able to "relax" her standards in a manner because she's just window shopping so to speak? I mean, what's the harm in finding a guy attractive just to enjoy looking at him, but once there is a possibility for clothes to come off (in a swinger club) the ante is upped and the more stringent criteria apply? Or depending on what kind of vanilla bars/clubs you are in there are more attractive people out on the prowl. Interesting observation

 

Hmm hard to say. I was going to post it may be an age thing, that the guys are maybe a little younger, but even thinging among our vanilla friends in the same age group, many have held up very well. Now one thing to mention is that myself and many of our friends are into fitness activitess, biking, running, etc. So perhaps our sample is skewed a bit.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Good luck with that. I've been trying to figure out Mrs two4you's tastes in men for 7 years now, failing miserably almost every time. No biggie though, I find my ineptness in this arena rather amusing.

 

Yeah, I have given up on the expectation that I will get it right, even though I continue the effort. At least that way when I do get it right we are both pleasantly surprised. Like they say even a blind squirrel.

[GPHTallCouple 69]

Not sure of the statistical results, but I tend to agree. My wife always laments the fact that there are not that many guys she is attracted to and so many she's hot he's not couples. We are 51/50 and nature (as well as lifestyle) is not always kind to men.

....

I do notice that checking out couples in vanilla bars, my wife finds the guys more attractive in general than in the swinging world. It's not like she wants some hot supermodel guy. I know she's not into XXL men (weight wise, the teddy bear type), does not like "furry" guys and needs to like their eyes. Her preference is men my height (5'11") and taller though that's not always a deal breaker.

 

When we go to a night club or local hot spot, the men are better looking than most husbands that swing. Husbands that swing haven't gone through the transformation that the vanilla guys out at the clubs have. The transformation I'm referring to is the divorce transformation. They've gone through hell and back, often losing a ton of weight, perhaps going to the gym, reclaiming themselves and reinventing themselves, often getting a new clothes and a new hairstyle. The guys out at the vanilla nightclubs and hot spots are not the typical cross section of guys, they are guys looking for that special someone or to just get laid, and they are working hard at it. They aren't the typical cross section of men.

 

The corner bar or dive bar may have more of a typical cross section but the hot spots will have the men and women looking. That's my theory on why the guys look better...

[exploringRM 305]

Soooo back to the original question. Is there a profile that can be viewed online with pictures? I saw the OP mention posting pics in a response but did not see them, iunless I missed them.

[Chicup 41]

Soooo back to the original question. Is there a profile that can be viewed online with pictures? I saw the OP mention posting pics in a response but did not see them, iunless I missed them.

 

I was semi-joking about the pictures when I asked so I'm glad there are not any. The reason being what do you say if he is in fact not good looking at all?

 

"Well, gee, ummm we don't know why they are not attracted to your, umm, husband."

 

There is a reason why most threads on attractiveness and weight go over like a lead balloon here.

[savcpl912 15]

We have found that it seems to be more the woman is Bi but wont come out in the profile and say it. And the hubby doesn't want to share either. So many times its lies in the profile.