Mixing with vanillas

[MN Tom 251]

Last week we went to a bar meet that wasn't a full takeover. Early on in the evening it was very obvious, there were some families having dinner. Finally they migrated out, and enough swingers came in that it ended up being close to a takeover in our end of the building, probably 90%.

 

There was one large table though of vanilla's that while resistant early ended up blending in by the time the night was over. It was a pretty interesting thing to see.

 

Early on, the vanilla wives were giving the swinger gals the evil eyes, many of the gals were commenting on it, even though they werent touching the vanillas or anything.

 

After seeing what must have looked like a very fun yet confusing mess though, the vanillas ended up mixing into the crowd, with the single vanillas even dirty dancing and kissing. The married ones didnt cross that line, but they at least stopped the evil eyes and started to enjoy themselves.

 

It was a really nice thing to see, and when the bar closed down, one of the married vanilla gals even commented to my wife that it was the most fun she'd had in years, and most of the others agreed. They couldn't quite grasp what the setup was though, with most of us having hands on many others and seemingly mixing couples at will on the dance floor. We just said we liked to go out and have fun, we are all adults, so why not.

[exploringRM 305]

We've experienced similar situations and at times it can be hard to tell the swingers from the vanillas apart. I recall a group of us were at a winery that has outdoor live music. We were dancing together and this one couple sort of go in the middle and seemed to enjoy being among the crazy people. A playmate and I talked shortly after,discussing should we tell them what we do, should we hand our cards..invite them to teh dark side! We never really came up with a plan or consensus on what to do and/or how to go about it.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

There is a local vanilla bar here that has a strong swinger following. We went there off and on for years not knowing it was a swinger hang out until we got involved in the lifestyle.

 

There are three groups of people, vanillas, swingers, and interlopers. The interlopers are married and single men that have figured out it is a swinger hang out and are looking for action.

 

The interlopers stick out like a sore thumb. They are either way too aggressive or get real anxious when around the swinger couples. They usually get rebuffed from both groups.

 

But the vanillas and swingers get along great. You can identify the swingers because you already know them or through association with other swingers. In our experience talking to both groups, most of the vanilla's have no idea we are swingers, they just think we are really fun people.

[BravoEcho 15]

Both myself and my wife were vanillas only a few years back and its funny how naive we were to it. Like you said, we would meet couples and think "wow, what a fun couple" but not really think there was anything else to it. It took us both going down to Fantasy Fest in Key West a few year ago to get "introduced" to the lifestyle.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

This seems to be true for most bar meet type of events. Leah and I have turned a few couples from vanillas to the dark side at these events.

The interlopers are married and single men that have figured out it is a swinger hang out and are looking for action.

This is why we try and not host events at the same location every time. For some reason, these types just are a downer to the party.

 

We go to a "alt bar" for some of the bar meets which can be fun as well, but for some reason the Lesbians look down on the bisexuals and give them a hard time.

 

At one event a few years ago Leah was dancing with a T-girl and kissing him/her on the dance floor. When he/she figured out that Leah was married and a swinger he/she ran for the hills, we still laugh at his/her reaction.

 

K

[Chicup 42]

We go to a "alt bar" for some of the bar meets which can be fun as well, but for some reason the Lesbians look down on the bisexuals and give them a hard time.

 

Bisexuals as a whole are not 'accepted' by many in the gay community, and if you want to be looked down on try being a straight male in the section of a bar 'claimed' by lesbians

 

The gay community as a whole are like swingers, and vanillas. Very tolerant of others until they are intolerant.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

Bisexuals as a whole are not 'accepted' by many in the gay community, and if you want to be looked down on try being a straight male in the section of a bar 'claimed' by lesbians

 

The gay community as a whole are like swingers, and vanillas. Very tolerant of others until they are intolerant.

 

The thing is that I have personaly found that the lesbians don't have a issue with me (male half). It only seems to be the bi women that they have an issue with.

 

Back in my younger days (Eek what a long time ago) there was a group of lesbians who hung out at my favorite bar and we got along great, playing pool, darts and dancing.

 

Might it be that while men are not a threat to them, the Bi women are since they are trying to pick up the same sex?

 

I don't know if that holds water either because as straight men we are also trying to pick up women.

 

K

[Dont.Stop 339]

Might it be that while men are not a threat to them, the Bi women are since they are trying to pick up the same sex?

 

I don't know if that holds water either because as straight men we are also trying to pick up women.

 

K

 

Ahh, but men are not picking up lesbians, but bi women could be.

[2 in C-bus 21]

We were at a Meet and Greet at a bar over the weekend, it was very much like the OP. Not a complete takeover but mostly swingers. We were with a couple out on the porch and I remarked that I wondered what the vanilla people at the bar thought of all this; women and men seemingly swapping dance partners at random, girls making out with different guys and then with different girls. Hell, I knew this was a swinger’s night and I was having a hard time figuring which girl went with which guy. I’m sure the vanillas were quite confused. The male half of the couple related that he got outed at the bar. There was a bachelorette party going on at the bar that night and he was talking to the bride for a few minutes while he was waiting for a drink. She asked him what he was doing at the bar and he said he was a fan of the band. “Do you know this band has a swinger following?” the bride said.

“Really?” he stammered, “Um, well…”

“You hesitated,” she said, “You do know this band is big with swingers.”

Busted!

“Are you one of them?” she asked.

“Um, well…” he stuttered.

“You hesitated again, you are one of them.” the bride accused him.

Double busted!

On the other had I wondered how she knew.

[MN Tom 251]

Yeah, in that case I would be saying the same thing back to her.

 

Not that "busting" me in some random bar would mean a hill of beans anyway, "oh no someone Ive never met is calling me a swinger in front of other swingers!"

 

[2 in C-bus 21]

Not that "busting" me in some random bar would mean a hill of beans anyway, "oh no someone Ive never met is calling me a swinger in front of other swingers!"

 

 

 

 

No, it was not a big deal-more of a funny story. He thought it was funny and so did the bride.