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What would you consider regular?

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We seem to have hit it off great with the first guy we met. Wrote him a thank you email the next morning and we've discussed getting together again. We would very much like him to be a regular part of our experiences. But we are wondering at this point, if there is someone you see regularly, how often is that? We don't want to come on too strongly or seem pushy or anything, but we don't want to seem disinterested at the same time. Also, he's someone who likes the idea of FWB which in his case is fine with us, but where do you draw the line between sending friendly emails to check in and IM'ing as coming off as obsessed? With the IM I usually wait for the guy to initiate the conversation unless I have something we might need to discuss, but again I don't want to seem disinterested.

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There could be a lot of answers for this question, and probably many correct answers. The easiest thing you could do is just talk to him, find out what he wants, tell him what you want, figure out how its going to work. If you communicate openly you don't have to spend so much time guessing what the other person wants or thinks.

 

For us, regular means at least monthly, which I tell guys the very first time we chat. We mainly keep in contact only when it involves getting together, so I don't have a lot of input on the IM'ing in between get togethers, or the "friends" part of FWB. Mostly focus on the "benefits".

 

Nick

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I really think it's what you two want that's most important. You're the couple who is allowing him to share your fantasy. He's the lucky guest.

 

It's nice that you both like him but never think that he's doing you a favor.

 

The only thing I can see wrong with frequent communications with him would be in his becoming too much of a part of your marriage. But it's really just what all three of you enjoy, desire, and feel comfortable with. All three of you, separately, might just write down your expectations and desires and then compare notes and set the rules.

 

And, btw..., it's good that you found a great 'third' on your first try. Too often it isn't so nice of a first and can really make folks hesitant to try again.

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We seem to have hit it off great with the first guy we met.
Have you met him only once? Did you have sex with him on that first meet?

 

I ask because you didn't make that clear.

 

And are you asking how regular (often) most people play with the same person, or how often swingers communicate with each other?

 

LM

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Regular is variable depending on you and the other guy. This is true for vanilla couples, and its true for swinging arrangements too.

 

Obviously you wouldn't want to overwhelm him and say "I [wife] want to have sex with you at least 5-6 times a week, and I want you to only have sex with me, no one else, and you need to be available whenever I call". Obviously underwhelming him isn't a great idea either; "I really like you, let's have sex again next year!" :) Somewhere in between is the balance. There is no 'right' answer or standard 'regular' frequency within the swinging community.

 

What that balance is gets worked out as you go. Expectations and desires can change too as you get more comfortable.

 

Related story; we had one single guy who at first pass was interesting. Things went south in a hurry when he insisted he'd have to have sex with my wife at least 5-6 times a month for him to even begin to be interested. When we told him that wasn't going to happen, he decided to inform us that we were not real swingers. Thankfully we never actually met him. I wouldn't be averse to another guy having sex with my wife that often, and neither would my wife if she really liked him. But, to come on that hard, that fast, and essentially insult us? Thanks for saving us the time we would have spent meeting you. Goodbye. :)

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Yes, what is "regular" all depends on your schedules, his schedule, and how well you guys get along.

 

My wife and I both have someone who we could call a "regular", even though the frequency of our contacts is more feast or famine. We look at it as a desire, do you desire to have this person be around more often? Or how often would you want to spend time with them?

 

For us that works out to about 3-4 times/month. Maybe a few times one week every so often, or maybe twice one week and none the next, just depends.

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I think it was a nice touch that you sent an e-mail thanking him. I hope he responded with equal gratitude. I think any communications should come as being from both you and your hubby, unless your intent is to also play alone with him. Bob and I have a few regular guys we get together with as well as a few regular couples. We all enjoy each others company in and out of the bedroom. One of the guys actually plays golf with Bob from time to time, and I also will meet them for a glass of wine and even dinner with and without Bob if he's traveling.

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Have you met him only once? Did you have sex with him on that first meet?

 

I ask because you didn't make that clear.

 

And are you asking how regular (often) most people play with the same person, or how often swingers communicate with each other?

 

LM

 

We have met him only once and yes things went well enough that we comfortable having sex on the first meet.

 

And I'm asking both, how often do people here play with the same person, and how often do you keep up communication with that person.

 

bbarnsworth, I can't believe he had the nerve to talk to you like that. As soon as a guy made that kind of demand of us, he'd be gone. We're in this for us, not anyone else. Not that we don't care about the guys and recognize their feelings as well, but we are the ones inviting them to participate and they should be mindful of that.

 

We had been chatting a little and set up another meet with him and he had wanted to have his gf join us which was going to be fine. Then they had a little fight so she cancelled, and we decided it was best for the time to go ahead and reschedule at a later time so he could work on things with her. That was this past Saturday. Do you think giving him a week and emailing this Saturday to keep in touch and offer a new time would be ok? I'm thinking we'd like to see him at least once a month. He's a little far away for anything more regular than that. I guess I'll address it more in the next email I send.

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It doesn't really matter what any of us consider as "regular". You have to do what works best for ya'll. But you need to make it clear to him what you're looking for, then work that out with his schedule/interest level.

 

I'm glad to hear ya'll had such great luck on your first try, and that you're able to sort things out to your satisfaction.

=)

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We have met him only once and yes things went well enough that we comfortable having sex on the first meet.

 

And I'm asking both, how often do people here play with the same person, and how often do you keep up communication with that person.

 

Can't say, as what little we have had in repeat territory has been limited. Within that, it's been quite variable.

 

bbarnsworth' date=' I can't believe he had the nerve to talk to you like that. As soon as a guy made that kind of demand of us, he'd be gone. We're in this for us, not anyone else. Not that we don't care about the guys and recognize their feelings as well, but we are the ones inviting them to participate and they should be mindful of that.[/quote']

 

My wife and I are looking for a 'regular' single guy for her. We've been looking for quite some time now. In our discussions regarding this, we recognize that such a 'regular' is going to have sexual needs that he would likely hope to have fulfilled by my wife. So, at times there may be times when she is going off to play with him when she's not really in the mood to do that. We both figure that's ok, so long as she's willing and available. If she only played with him when they were both horny, they might not play very often at all!

 

I remember reading from a woman who posted here who had a regular. She noted that at times it took a fair bit of work. You're seeing to the sexual needs of another person in addition to your husband. Yes, it's about _you_, but in order to get what _you_ want, some effort has to go into making sure that you keep the regular interested, happy, and content. Not sure if that makes sense :)

 

We had been chatting a little and set up another meet with him and he had wanted to have his gf join us which was going to be fine. Then they had a little fight so she cancelled' date=' and we decided it was best for the time to go ahead and reschedule at a later time so he could work on things with her. That was this past Saturday. Do you think giving him a week and emailing this Saturday to keep in touch and offer a new time would be ok? I'm thinking we'd like to see him at least once a month. He's a little far away for anything more regular than that. I guess I'll address it more in the next email I send.[/quote']

 

I'd be concerned about the fight he had with his girlfriend. For my wife and I, we tend to shy away from couples that aren't married, and we absolutely will not play with a guy who is playing with permission unless we can verify permission from the other woman...in person. The girlfriend doesn't have 'rights' to this guy per se, but she more than likely has expectations of his fidelity. I'd make sure that she is aware and approves of her boyfriend playing with you.

 

As to your plan to e-mail this Saturday, that sounds fine.

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we recognize that such a 'regular' is going to have sexual needs that he would likely hope to have fulfilled by my wife. So, at times there may be times when she is going off to play with him when she's not really in the mood to do that. We both figure that's ok, so long as she's willing and available. If she only played with him when they were both horny, they might not play very often at all!

 

I remember reading from a woman who posted here who had a regular. She noted that at times it took a fair bit of work. You're seeing to the sexual needs of another person in addition to your husband. Yes, it's about _you_, but in order to get what _you_ want, some effort has to go into making sure that you keep the regular interested, happy, and content. Not sure if that makes sense :)

 

 

When I think of someone being a "regular" I don't equate that to being exclusive. So I wouldn't have the expectation of playing unless we were both fully up for it.

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I'd be concerned about the fight he had with his girlfriend. For my wife and I, we tend to shy away from couples that aren't married, and we absolutely will not play with a guy who is playing with permission unless we can verify permission from the other woman...in person. The girlfriend doesn't have 'rights' to this guy per se, but she more than likely has expectations of his fidelity. I'd make sure that she is aware and approves of her boyfriend playing with you.

 

We're pretty certain it's really ok. They each have their own singles profile where they mention each other, as well as a couples profile. I checked out all 3 profiles before even contacting him. And while I know it's not as much of a confirmation, I did chat with her on yahoo a couple of times. Very different style of pretty much everything than he uses. But I do totally agree about shying away from couples unless you can verify in person that it's ok if they play separate. In fact, that's why we've completely blocked couples from our profile altogether at this time. I was tired of the promises that their wife was ok with it.

 

Thanks for all the insight, everyone. :)

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When I think of someone being a "regular" I don't equate that to being exclusive. So I wouldn't have the expectation of playing unless we were both fully up for it.

 

Didn't mean to imply that it would definitely be an exclusive relationship. It might be, but we aren't looking for and haven't asked for that. But, there's a bit of reality at play here; when a single guy has a regular, he's lucky. Most single guys in the lifestyle don't even get one play time very often, much less a regular. So if they're in the mood and want to have sex, they'd probably ask their 'regular' firs.

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We had a fairly steady other guy for several years while he was single. The threesomes were always a lot of fun.

 

Then he got married and it tapered off. I have sex with his wife three times (MFM) while my wife was out of town. I don't recall After that my wife ever had sex with him after he got married. It just kind of petered out.

 

Bummer. They were both terrific.

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Hey, I believe bbarnsworth had mention me in regarding to doing hard work on getting the guy to become a regular one.:)

It took me probably about 6 month to get to the point where we became regular ones and he even damped his GF in the end. I didn't ask for it, she just disappeared...

We did thanked him when we met and played first time. He did return the compliment, and we got an invite to play in a month or so.:D

He wasn't very nice in communicating with us and it took me, mostly me a while to get us where we are now. He always responds to calls,texts, almost never declines offers to meet. If it wasn't my gentle persistence we wouldn't be where we are. I was assertive but not pushy, I would give him his space, and I would always offer an A game. I would disregard a lot of things I wouldn't in a regular relationship. Single guys in a LS they still have a lot of pride, I think that is a misconception that it they don't see a pussy on a regular basis they would fuck anything. Some guys yes maybe, but in most cases we don't need those ones. We need ones who are good who have a personality to match it and they know they are good. They get invited back...

He wasn't just a nice experience, he was the one I wanted, liked and I wanted to make sure I get him and I wanted bareback which we never do in LS.

So in response to your question it all depends on your preferences, schedules. Sometimes we meet once in 3 weeks,sometimes 3 times a week. Sometimes I am not in a mood to play or have my period and I still wouldn't decline his offer to meet or at least would stop by to blow him. But he never refuses to play with me either when I want. It's kind of give and take. Although my hubby thinks I am doing too much. What can say, from all guys I played with I never wanted to see any of them more then one time...and I never get bored with him.

Let me just warn you that with regular ones you may get some unexpected outcomes. People do connect, they fall for each other,they get addicted to each other so unless you are ready for it be careful.

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Hey, I believe bbarnsworth had mention me in regarding to doing hard work on getting the guy to become a regular one.:)

 

Perhaps yes :)

 

Let me just warn you that with regular ones you may get some unexpected outcomes. People do connect, they fall for each other,they get addicted to each other so unless you are ready for it be careful.

 

For us, this is as yet uncharted territory. My wife and I have discussed it at length. We both know and acknowledge that if she has sex with another guy many, many times she's going to develop feelings for him and he most likely for her. There's definitely a lot of possible unintended consequences. We don't know as yet how we'll approach such consequences.

 

The only hard and fast rule we have at this point is that if she feels she is "falling in love" with the guy, or we feel he is doing the same in respect to her, we'll call it quits, cold turkey. Neither of us expects her to remain unemotional towards him or he towards her. Loving him is fine. Being IN love is not. The English language really lacks sufficient vocabulary with respect to emotions.

 

So far, we're willing to proceed and continue to try to find that regular guy for her. Hasn't happened yet, but we'll see. We feel there are a great many rewards to having a regular guy that one-or-two timers do not bring to the table. For one, the sex gets better as they will each become more familiar with what each of them needs. For two, a much greater chance of availability as the mood strikes. This one has been very noticeable at times; there's times when my wife wants another man right now, this instant! and he of course isn't available because we don't have a regular for her yet. And on, and on.

 

One timers just don't have as many advantages as regulars, we think. But, it's all supposition as yet. We hope we're right :) Even so, the attempts to find such a guy are still quite rewarding.

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Yes, bbarnsworth, you right.

 

With regular person you can get to know him better and you know what buttons to push, people get more relaxed and willing to experiment, you can possibly play bareback. You can enjoy booty calls.

As I said I do accept them from my BF and he does same thing. It's fun and more exciting when you just feel you are in a mood to play and you are a call away from it. I know now if he can fit me in his schedule he always will even for a quickey.

There are some problems with falling in love or loving this person as you can call it and we are dealing with it on day to day basis. If you think your wife will just stop seeing him if she falls for him you maybe wrong thinking this way. I am hooked up and won't do it over my dead body. Unless he decides he doen't want see me anymore I am not going anywhere.

It feels like I have to juggle two relationships now. One is a primary and another one is a secondary.

They both want spend time with me I feel bad if I want to go see him twice or three times a week because I don't want upset my hubby and I miss my BF if I don't see him often.:sad:

We couldn't say in a beginning how often we wanted to see each other. It was too premature. It was once a month in a beginning and then it turned out to be as often as we want.

Mostly you have to make yourself available if you want have a regular one otherwise when he is horney and you refused to play he will move on on his list of playmates to the next one. You decline to play couple times and you won't get invited ever. When he makes this decision where he want spend his time and with whom you want to make sure you would be on a top of his list.

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There are some problems with falling in love or loving this person as you can call it and we are dealing with it on day to day basis. If you think your wife will just stop seeing him if she falls for him you maybe wrong thinking this way. I am hooked up and won't do it over my dead body. Unless he decides he doen't want see me anymore I am not going anywhere.

 

My wife's stance on this is exactly that; if she feels she's falling IN love with him, rather than just loving him (as you would, say, a good friend) she wants to call it quits. It's her choice, not me pushing a rule onto her (though, I wouldn't want her falling in love with someone, and our overall decisions might be different if she wasn't wanting to call it quits if he or she fell in love).

 

It feels like I have to juggle two relationships now. One is a primary and another one is a secondary.

 

Which sounds a lot like polyamory! :)

 

I was briefly involved in a poly relationship before I met my wife. I researched a lot, spent a lot of thought time, and gained a pretty good understanding of what it really meant to me at the time. I've also decided that at this point in my life, I don't want to share my wife's heart. She doesn't want to share hers. We both recognize there may come a time down the road when we're both more comfortable with that, but that time is not now.

 

 

You decline to play couple times and you won't get invited ever. When he makes this decision where he want spend his time and with whom you want to make sure you would be on a top of his list.

 

Which is excellent advice! My wife and I have discussed this very point. There's going to be times when he's horny and she isn't. But, if she wants to maintain the relationship she'll need to see to his needs too. That's not just a her thing, it's a me thing too. Sometimes, she'll 'need' to leave on short notice, even if I'm not really ready for that at the moment. That's all for the sake of our overarching goal of having a regular for her. I'm ok with that, in as much as I can be before it's ever happened.

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      Sue then looked at him and said, "John, I've known we were heading to this based upon our conversations, and I didn't want to stop it.  Obviously, we can't do anything in your office, but all you need to do is invite me to your house."   And then she said, "And to be honest about it, my husband knows and is ok with it." 
       
      John was a divorced man so he lived alone and didn't have to worry about sneaking around.  And with that, Sue came home after work and told me that that Friday she would be leaving work right at 5 pm and going to John's house.
       
      I made arrangements with my best friend to go out to a sports bar for the night, to help me keep my mind off things to help the time go by quicker.  I got home at 10 p.m. wondering if Sue would be home.....and I waited and watched as the clock hit 11 p.m., midnight, and then I finally called her at 12:30 in the morning and she answered her  phone stating she was on her way and would be home by 1 a.m.  John lived 25 minutes in the other direction from work so he lived about one hour from our house. 
       
      As soon as Sue got home she looked at me and all she said was "I don't care how tired  you are, you need to take me to bed to re-claim me."  I asked her how it went and she said she'd tell me when we got to bed.  I was surprised she spent so much time with him.  Apparently John came inside her three times, telling her that he "was inspired" by her.  Sue told me that even after cumming in her, that he'd leave his cock in her pussy because he wanted to take advantage of every minute he had with her.  And they would either spoon after cumming or they would be facing each other with his cock still in her and they'd just talk....and they did that all three times he came. 
       
      The next morning was Saturday and it looked like she was getting dressed for work.  I asked her what she was doing and she said she had to go back into work as they were working on a major project with pressing deadlines.  For the 1st time in all these years of being open minded it really bothered me knowing she would be with him again after just getting fucked by him about 10 hours earlier.  I didn't like it because I felt their relationship was getting more "personal", rather than just about the sex. Little did I know what would happen later. 
       
      About 2-3 years later we were in our bedroom getting ready to call it a night and Sue looked up at me and said, "I have to tell you something and I'm worried about you getting mad but I can't live like this, keeping a secret from you."  I asked her what she was talking about and I never even thought of John being brought up.  She then proceeded to tell me that after that first night with John that she saw him a couple more times.  That three times she went to his house when she told me she was going shopping and that one time he was out sick and he had called her at work, and that during lunch she went to his house to visit him because when he called her he jokingly said, "I'm in the mood for a blowjob right now, can you come over at lunch time"...and that's what she did. 
       
      I went silent when she told me this and all I said was, "leave the room, I need time to think through this."  I didn't speak to her that night and didn't respond to her trying to bring up conversation for the next couple of days.  Finally she came to me and said, "All right, I understand you're angry but can you please speak to me.  I don't know what I can do other than keep apologizing to you."  She said that she would be willing to do "anything to earn back your trust." 
       
      I looked at her and told her that she was right about me being angry and that I felt betrayed and I didn't know how long it would take me to get over that feeling.  I also told her that I couldn't get it out of my mind that she had made arrangements with another man, to fuck him, and she kept it from me.  We had always been open with each other about this.  I mentioned how hurt I was by the deceit rather than the physical act of having sex and developing a friendship with John but that at the same time I felt myself being turned on by it. 
       
      I then asked her if she was serious about doing "anything" to earn back my trust?  She said "yes", and I said, "you might not like what I'm about to say." She said it didn't matter if she liked it or not, she just wanted to earn back my trust.  I proceeded to tell her that I would be going on Adult Friend Finder and that I would find a guy that she would have to start fucking. 
       
      So I eventually found another person named John and met up with him.  He was a divorced guy who owned his own small construction company that included two different crews.  They would build homes, and do high end renovations.  He lived alone, and his schedule was fairly flexible.  All John asked of me was to bring pictures of Sue as I told him I needed to meet him alone first as I knew the type of guy Sue would be interested in. 
       
      I told Sue what I was doing.  She said she understood.  I told her I needed to take a few pictures of her in fairness to John to see if he would be interested.  Sue again understood. 
       
      I met with John and he was absolutely interested in Sue based upon the pictures and I could tell he had a personality that would go well with Sue's.  When I came home after meeting John I told Sue about meeting John and felt that he would work out well.  I also told Sue, that if things went well after the three of us getting together the first time that "earning my trust" would require a longer term Friends with Benefits situation, until I got the previous situation out of my system  Again, Sue said she understood.  
       
      We met at John's house and got pizza delivered to help start the relationship and eventually I just said, "Are both of you comfortable"?  They both said yes, and with that John took Sue into his bedroom and they fucked each other.  When they were done, they both came out of the bedroom fully dressed.  I then told Sue to take off her shirt and pants as I wanted her to just be standing in front of John and me with her sheer green bra and matching sheer green panties.  She gave me this look, and I just shrugged and said, "you know why." 
       
      She did what she was asked and we visited for about another 20 minutes, giving John the opportunity to stare at Sue's totally sheer bra, still exposing her tits and nipples the entire time...and left for home.  On the drive, Sue did say that John was a very friendly person.  I told her that John and I would be talking the next day to get his feelings but that she needed to be prepared for anything because of her prior indiscretion with the previous John.  All she replied with was "OK, I understand."
       
      John and I had our conversation and he said the night couldn't have gone better and that he was very attracted to Sue, and that he also just had a very good feeling of a relationship between the three of us.  I told him I agreed. 
       
      When I got home, Sue asked how my conversation with John went.  I told her that he was attracted to her and he enjoyed the sex with her.  I asked Sue if she would be upset if I told her that he was the one I was going to pick for her to start fucking on a regular basis and she said if that is what she needed to do to regain trust that she could do it as she also felt they were compatible in bed, and she also liked the conversation the three of us had and felt we all could be friends. 
       
      But Sue didn't know what would be happening next.  I told Sue that John and I discussed how "moving forward" would look like and that we both were in agreement.  I then gave Sue John's phone number and told her he was expecting her call.  That from now on the two of them would communicate with each other but Sue, unlike with the previous John, needed to tell me every time she and John would be getting together. Again, Sue understood and said she promised to be totally honest with me about anything to do with John and she was willing to do whatever I wanted her to do, given what had previously happened. 
       
      I then looked at Sue and told her to call John, and I wanted her to be "forward" with him on the phone and that she first needed to ask him if he felt comfortable after meeting the two of us (I already knew how he was going to answer).  I then instructed Sue to specifically say on the phone that she was "also very comfortable both in conversation, as well as being in bed with him."  Sue then stated, at my request, "I'm interested in seeing you on a regular basis if you are.  And if you can commit to not dating any women on the side, I'll commit to having sex with you, pretty much whenever you want.  And, one more thing, if you are ok with it, I'd rather you no longer wear a condom." 
       
      And that started what turned out to be about a 15 year relationship where we are all still friends today. About two months after they started seeing each other, John called me and asked about the possibility of Sue working for him part time.  He was thinking about her going to his house two days a week, just half days.  One day would be to work on calling back customers who call to set up an appointment with him, and another half day to take care of sending out the bills, and making bill payments to suppliers, etc. 
       
      I had an idea pop into my head because I was still of the mindset of "punishing" Sue for cheating on me earlier.  John really liked my idea and now I was going to tell Sue.  When I told Sue what John had asked and what he and I decided she initially thought it was asking too much...but I reminded her about how hurtful her cheating had been and that I really needed her to do this. 
       
      Sue was a teacher and was about to have almost three full months off.  I told her that John would be paying her to work part time out of his house for two days a week.  She needed to be at his house around 7:30 in the morning to review his schedule so she could set up appointments for him to meet with people calling asking for a quote of construction work, and then on the second day she would handle all the billing that needed to be either paid, or invoiced. 
       
      She looked at me perplexed as if to say, "Ok, what's the big deal?" I then told her that EVERY day she went to his house to work that she was not allowed to wear a bra, and had to wear a top that was revealing either because of sheerness or being low cut. 
       
      After her saying, "Are your serious?", I responded, "You are damn right I'm serious, and frankly it's all because you were fucking the other John without telling me.  Now I'll know for the next three months what you'll be doing, and the plan is that you and John will be fucking each other each day, and sometimes 2X a day (when you first get there, and when he comes home for lunch). 
       
      She said, "Ok, I get it, but I hope this is coming to the end of it."  I then had her call John and had her say the following to him, "I hear  you have a job opening for me, can you confirm the dress code and expectations that I just heard from my husband."  She listened to his response and said "When do you want me to start?.  And for the next three months she arrived at John's house, always with a sweater on in case she got stopped by a police officer or if something weird happened on her way "to work." And the first thing she did when she got in the house was take her sweater off. 
       
      The very first time she was to go to work she came downstairs and took her sweater off and said, "Does this meet  your approval?"  She was obviously braless, wearing a thin, low cut tank top with low arm holes exposing plenty of side boob, and you could make out the color of her nipples through the top.  I told Sue I couldn't have picked out better work attire and then she went to work. 
       
      During the three months doing this I had to go on a business trip for a few days so I called John and told him to call Sue and ask her out to dinner and make plans to spend some time at his house.  I also told John I wanted "photo proof of him fucking her so I know she went."  This was also going to be a test to see if Sue would be honest about telling me what she was going to do. 
       
      About 30 minutes after talking with John, Sue called me.  She told me that John had asked her out to dinner and wanted to make sure I was ok with that?  She said it felt like she was going "on a date" rather than just being a friend with benefits.  I told her it felt the same way to me, and considering that she pretty much "went on dates" with the previous John without my knowledge, that she now needed to realize that she was about to start dating John WITH my knowledge.  She asked how much longer she needed to go through with this and I told her I hadn't even started to think about that yet because I had been hurt so much. 
       
      So Sue and John had their first "date" while I was away on business.  John sent me an email that included an attachment.  He laughingly wrote: "As you requested, my first date with your wife happened.  I also told her that you asked me to inform her that you wanted her to agree to start "dating me" rather than just me fucking her.  And she agreed to it, so once she's back teaching and can't come over during the summer anymore, she is going to start seeing me for longer periods of time rather than coming over for an hour to fuck each other, we'll grab dinner or take a drive somewhere."
       
      John also told me to watch the attachment as he sent "more than a photo".  I opened the attachment and saw two things: a photo of my wife's face with his cock in her mouth, pressing her cheek from the inside so I could see his cock bump pushing out her cheek. And he also sent me a video that lasted a few minutes of him fucking her.  He told me not to worry, that he'd delete both the photo and video, but I told him I wanted him to keep it so he'd always be able to look back on how they looked fucking each other. 
       
      And that relationship lasted around 15 years.  After fucking John about 10 times Sue told me that she noticed something different and wanted to be honest with me.  I asked her what she was talking about.  She said it felt like John was "fucking" her at times like he was paying for it but other times it was more emotional, it was starting to feel like he was "making love" to her. I told her I guess that would be normal after seeing someone consistently that you liked.  I told her I was ok with that. 
       
      She then said she was starting to feel like she was making love to him at times, that it was emotional for her as well feeling like she was giving her body to someone she cared about as a friend.  She wasn't having any feelings of being in love with him, but she was getting some emotional connection where she wanted to give herself to him when they saw each other.  It turned me on. The frequency of sex got less over the last couple of years but he and I estimated, that not counting the three months she worked for him and they fucked anywhere from 2-4 times a week, that he had fucked her somewhere between 50-100 times. 
       
      And to this day, years later, the thought that she's been fucked so much by the same guy is a turn-on.  We all still remain friends today.  I thought that would be the end of our openess in our marriage but there would be two other men that would enter our lives, both of which got substantial time with my hotwife.  And she wanted it. 
       
      If you'd like to read about it, let me know and I'll write it up.
    • By SteelRidge
      For veteran swingers, how often do you swing, swap? How many different partners do you have in a swing "event"?
       
      Also how do you add an avatar? Having difficulty there.
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