Worried about how long we can last sexually

[Guest Unregistered]

So here's the deal. My wife and I are considering full swap and currently soft-swap only. We are well-educated both in academia and non-vanilla topics. However, we are aweful when it comes to intercourse. Our partners are not let down when we soft swap, and they have always came back for more.

 

The Mr. has issues with premature ejaculation (even if its his 2nd go). His best times are still under 10 minutes (thrusting) and averages about 2-3.

 

The Mrs. can only be penetrated for a short time because she gets sore (no amount or variation of lube helps with this either.

 

This odd and ironic fate actually works together for us.

 

But we are afraid we will be terrible in bed with partners because of it too. Do we warn possible partners about our horribleness? Do we just not full-swap and keep things soft? Any advice would be much appreciated!

[LFM2 1,483]

Hmmmm....

 

Can I let you in on a secret? I don't like to go for more than 10 minutes myself. Even then, sometimes that 10 minutes seems like eternity.

 

I still remember a episode of Dr. Drew Pinsky's show and he said that most women get sore after about that much time. Our epithelial cells can't stand the friction. I'm one of those women.

 

Not too long ago, we got an PM from a single male who said he could last for hours. I think my eyes bugged out and we told him, "Thanks, but no thanks". He might be able to last for hours, but I can't.

 

I don't think 2-3 minutes is bad, especially when they can recover and go at it again. He'd have no trouble in my book.

 

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[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

The people who are attuned to our rhythms, likes, dislikes talents, capabilities and limitations seem to stay in our lives. The ones who are not attuned pass out of our lives.

 

Nothing you describe is a defect. Keep looking. You'll will find people who will make perfect full-swap partners. Trust me on this.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here-- My husband Ed, would thoroughly enjoy your wife and I would thoroughly enjoy you. As with all things, Swingers are a diverse group. I think you need to change the yardstick. From my point of you, your husband could enjoy me so well he ejaculates twice. That's an amazing turn on. I could swallow during oral (something I enjoy) and he can still ejaculate during intercourse (even with a condom on, I find that thrilling).

[Alura 2,777]

The only time Laura seemed to like thrusting was when she was in character and playing to her audience. She was always sore afterward.

 

Her favorite was to be brought to a climax by oral and to be entered when she began to come. Even then, deep probing was preferable to thrusting.

 

Sometimes, like Holly suggested, stamina is overrated.

 

Alura

[Playful1 434]

he sounds like the perfect partner for me. while i can go forever with my main male partner, that is because we have a deeper connection. With a partner at a party or whatever, a few minutes is good. Longer, and I find I need to stop.

 

dont worry

[sweet_tna 680]

While I don't have a problem with extended thrusting, I'm all about the foreplay. So as long as I'm happy with that, it's all good. Same goes with my honey.

 

Really, ya'll aren't giving yourselves near enough credit. I say if you want to full swap then give it a go. I don't think you'll have trouble finding others who will "click" with ya'll in that department.

 

=)

[MN Tom 251]

I'd follow what all the others have said. Foreplay and "other stuff" can easily fill the void if the actual intercourse is shorter than someone would like.

 

Another thing to keep in mind is doing it with another person isn't the same as your spouse, especially if you are using a condom and dont use them with your spouse.

 

Now if you only wanted to keep the whole play session to less than 10 minutes, that might be a problem. But keeping the intercourse itself to a shorter timespan should be fine with a number of people.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I think you should talk to potential play partners and let them know. Personally I would be disappointed if I knew someone didn't like to or couldn't have intercourse for a longer period of time. Sometimes a short time is fine, but I wouldn't want it to be that way most of the time.

[slevin 1,374]

Hmmmm....

 

Can I let you in on a secret? I don't like to go for more than 10 minutes myself. Even then, sometimes that 10 minutes seems like eternity.

 

We are the same as well. Although from time to time we will go a lot longer, in general it's 5-15 minutes. With the most often being 5 minutes or so. I don't think you guys are unusual and I think you'll find a lot of other couples that will be the same as you. Also, if you and your husband enjoy going multiple rounds then it's even better

[JM153 346]

I wouldn't say anything. First of all I have read that the average male doesn't last more than 3 to 5 min. and many 2 to 3. So he is not alone. In the event she encounters a man who lasts so long that it begins to get painful she should speak up then and ask for a break. She can start oral on him and he should not mind stopping intercourse at all. In real life it is not like porn movies where the guy goes for a long time. I think both of you are normal and I certainly wouldn't call you horrible lovers. If you are you have a lot of company.

[truckerbuddy 127]

While I don't have a problem with extended thrusting, I'm all about the foreplay. So as long as I'm happy with that, it's all good. Same goes with my honey.

 

 

 

=)

 

I have to agree, the foreplay and the after play is where it is. the act of intercourse is the cake, its the frosting that makes the cake,

[willyoats 324]

I wonder why guys think that thrusting for 10 minutes or more is so great. My wife never liked it for more than 5 and that was often too long. Foreplay...foreplay...foreplay. That's the name of the game for most women!!!!!!!!!!!

 

So, if you get a woman who wants to go on and on, you are not right for her. Find another who likes it for a shorter time. For goodness sake, stop worrying about it and enjoy the moment. If you are with the right woman, you will both be happy.

[Brian and Jo 345]

We agree with many of the comments you have already received. For both of us it is the build up to intercourse which is the key to the whole experience. The kissing, touching, stroking, licking, sucking etc during a lengthy session of foreplay are very pleasurable and stimulating. The actual intercourse is, as we all know, the climax to a sexual encounter. Depending on the degree of excitement which we have achieved during foreplay the thrusting can last anywhere from a couple of minutes to over five but not much longer than that. Brian usually ejaculates after 2-3 minutes and that length of time is fine for Jo too. She does love to feel a cock thrusting in and out of her but after more than a few minutes she gets sore even if she is very wet and that is uncomfortable for her. So don't worry, you'll be fine. Go for it!

[wifes_toy 53]

Sounds like "normal sex" to me. We are close to doing full swap, just not been in the right situation yet. Tho tonight is the night for our first MFM:)

I am one of those guys who could fire off a warning shot before it's in or I can go for hours. Typically I can go a second round if desired. Some times she likes it short, other times she likes it long and hard. Some times I just can't cum in her and we are getting tired. At times like that I know she is satisfied so I pull out and finish with a hand job.

 

One concern I have is can I even cum with a condom? Guess I will find out because that is how we will play with others. The point is every one is different, even from them selves at times. There is more than one way to have fun and sex is not all about plowing pussy for hours, unless it is for that time:hahaha:

[JustAskJulie 2,596]

As others said, I doubt you'll really have any issues at all. Those who "go for hours" are the exception not the rule. One of my favorite playmates was always quick to cum. I knew this and I played to it. I'd always suck him off first and maybe even a second time (seriously the guy would come about as soon as I put his cock in my mouth). To me is was kinda cool knowing I could make him cum that fast (even though I know it wasn't just me). He was great at foreplay and I always enjoyed how I felt around him. That was far more important than how long he lasted.

 

As for me, I'd rather not go for hours. There are rare occasions where Pet and I will do just that, but they are rare. I need lube after about a minute of intercourse and even with it I will be sore if we go for a long period (and by long I mean more than about 10 minutes).

[Tina and Bob 236]

I agree with Sweet Tna, for me it's the foreplay and oral that really sets up the finale of intercourse. I am multi orgasmic so fingering and oral gets me off as well as penis penetration. I enjoy slow gentle thrusting, but when the male starts fast hard thrusting/pounding very rarely has it gone longer than 5 minutes. Keep in mind that the male has already been stimulated visually as well as physically through touching, kissing, breast and nipple play as well as masturbation and oral. They are usually more than halfway there when vaginal penetration takes place, so as others have said, 3 to 5 minutes of intercourse is pretty typical. To me a quick recovery is preferred to extended intercourse, but I'll take what I can get. Tina