Should we invite more than one couple to meet at a swingers club on the same night?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Is it ok to offer to meet more than one couple at a club on the same night? If yes, do you tell them you're planning to meet someone else too? If, no, is it ok to meet a couple, but then if you don't hit it off play with someone else you already know at the club?

 

Thanks!

[Learning 160]

I would just say, "Hey we are going to be at the club. Please be sure to stop and introduce yourselves to us". Thus keeping it to an introduction and if more happens...awesome! If not, your plan was just an intro not promising anything more.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I have a similar approach to Learning, I usually say "make sure you say hi and introduce yourself". I think a lot of couples plan on meeting more than one couple. I've gone to a lot of parties and I have to say most of the time someone wants to meet us at the party it doesn't happen for whatever reason. It's nice to have more than one couple to talk to. I find myself bouncing around all night but that's probably because I really see the parties as a social event and not just a big plan to hook up. I can't think of a time at a party where someone contacted us online, we met there and then actually hooked up in the end. Personally, I think it's easier to just go the party and look around when I get there than figure out from profiles who I want to introduce myself to.

 

If there is one thing I have learned, the less work I put into this the more satisfied I am.

[VegasLee 1,486]

We have only been meeting at the club for years.

 

We tell those that contact us on line what nights we are at the club and we would be happy to meet them there.

 

We are very upfront about it. Telling them if we see them there, cool, lets talk. Nothing promised at all. I personally tell them that if we don't click, meeting at the club is best for all because there is always a couple hundred more people there that we all can meet. Keeps any of us from feeling trapped.

 

Honestly, 90% of them never show up but does not matter, as I stated, there are a couple hundred more to meet there.

 

I don't like to get trapped into dinner or even drinks with people I may not want to spend time with.

 

Meeting at the club has worked for us. Gets rid of the online fantasy swingers and does not waste their time or ours.

[crazinred 36]

We normally just tell them we usually meet new people at local Swinger clubs and when the next time we plan on going. We try to be friendly if we see them but let the cards fall as they may as the evening goes on. It has worked fairly well for us so far.

[exploringRM 305]

I see (and we have experienced) two different meets at a swing club.

 

1) The one we do most often is making plans to meet a couple for drinks, dancing, and more if things go that way. When that happens we do not make specific plans to more than 1 couple. Typically this meeting occurs after a few emails or chats to get to know each other enough to see if there is interest.

 

2) We also will meet people where we may have had a quick email exchance. In that case it's "say hi if you see us". There are no specific plans to meet.

 

So we would not plan for more than #1 per night above, but we may plan for 1 #1 and 1+ #2's in an evening. Unless things do not click we would not meet a couple in the #1 scenario above and then play with a couple from the #2 scenario. (unless we all jump in the room together!).

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

When you go fishing there are days you catch a boat load of beautiful fish. Then there are those days the fish just are not biting. But it is not a wasted day. The experience is what counts, the pleasure of the pursuit. THe ability to just take part in something you love.

 

Now, I am not a fisherman, and never really understood that statement above. I don't have the patience for it or find the enjoyment of NOT catching fish. But since we started swinging I get it. Not every trip out is going to be one you catch fish, but every trip can be successful if you go with no expectation, relax and enjoy the ride.

[exploringRM 305]

We've met a few couples on dinner "dates" and M&Gs where things did not click. In those cases there were no on-premise playrooms so a bit less awkward. We have not been in a situation at a swing club or party where we planned to meet a couple and we did not play. We do more house parties than swing clubs, so we've only met couples at swing clubs about 6 times in 2 years.

[JustAskJulie 2,596]

We have rarely ever planned to meet a couple specifically at a club... or at least not in the way you (the OP) initially expressed. It is pretty much always what Learning just expressed. "Hey we will be at xyz club on Saturday. If you are there stop by and say hey". That way there is no misrepresentation that we intend anything more than meeting them. If they take more than that from it, then it's on them not us.

[MN Tom 251]

We always defer initial meetings to events/parties/m&g's.

 

And we never set it up as a "ok lets meet and hook up on site (if possible) if we click." For us that is too hard to judge from profile alone, and you never know how the personalities will flesh out until meeting. We don't want to lead people on into thinking we are ready to play with them until after we meet them, so we try to relay that ahead of time.

 

For us, it's always a low key "we will be there, lets chat if we see each other" type of deal. And I would say it's only about 50% of the time at best that we ended up running into those people at the gathering.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Thank you all for your excellent advice.

 

We went to the club on Saturday and had a great time with old and new friends!