How do you transition from the living room to the bedroom?

[SheerBliss 92]

The choreography of swinging is still awkward to me. When you're dating one person things seem to evolve pretty naturally, but the negotiations and arrangements of getting four or more people into bed feels very complicated. What are your tricks for making that transition smoother?

[LFM2 1,482]

Oh gosh... we don't transition sometimes.

 

Yeah, I know what you mean though. It's hard sometimes. I don't have any wise words of wisdom. We all face this at one time or another.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

This is not something that is easy to do, especially for new comers. I have heard Mrs. Swingerset just blurt ok let's fuck a few times when things weren't going fast enough.

 

One good way is to play some kind of game where you have to get naked, Strip anything works well. Truth or dare also works. If you have a hot tub that works as well.

 

We have been at this long enough now that we will just take our partner for the nights hand and lead them to a bed, kissing and removing clothes as we go.

 

The main trick is to start things moving, once someone starts it's game on most of the time.

[Tina and Bob 236]

Can be a little awkward, but just have a game plan upfront. An intro, small talk and straight to the bedroom for us.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I am lucky. It takes a little while for my wife to warm up to some guys (others she warms up fast ), but once she decides she likes a guy she looks to me to find out if I like the lady. If we are both a go, I simply ask if they would like to get a room/go back to our room etc.

 

If it is a couple we have been with before we may have drinks or a bite to eat, then head for the hotel.

 

Once we get to the room my wife doesn't waste time. She puts her bag down, puts her arms around the guy and starts kissing, things move along quickly from there. It makes it easy for me and the other lady, the ice not only broken, but smashed and melted.

 

If we head to their place, we have a few minutes of small talk, but we all know why we are there. She is good at initiating things, and I love it.

 

I think one of the things that makes it easy is we are always clear about what is going to happen that night. If we are out for dinner and drinks, just socializing, we will let the other couple know up front. If we are in the mood to play we let them know up front that we would like to play. Everyone is clear up front whats going on, so there is no need to be coy about it.

[ViSexual 1,008]

Interesting thoughts. I can remember the first time we were with a couple that was preplanned to be a play date. It was the first with this couple too.

 

I was in the living room and was enjoying oral with the wife. I don't remember at all how we got started and assumed that my wife and the husband were somewhere doing something silimar.

 

I remember being surprised when I heard my wife's voice, "You two don't waste any time."

 

My wife and the husband had only gone to the kitchen to get something to drink! LOL!

[dr_pepper 25]

Not really a LS situation, but a fun transition. A few years ago a friend was telling about meeting a couple nice ladies at a professional gathering and when it was over, the two ladies asked him to join them for a drink at the home of one of them.

 

After a couple hours of pleasant conversation and a few drinks, one of the ladies announced that "we would like to fuck". After his heart started beating again, he was pleased to make these ladies very happy too

 

He said that he was taken totally by surprise since these ladies were professional associates... But, sure wasn't complaining!

[MissConfused 67]

We've hit this snag before. And it was awkward the whole way it happened. Next time we're going to be blunt. If that's what we're all there for we'll skip the 3 hour small talk.

 

Kind of funny the very first time. Was with a single male who had played before but he didn't know what was appropriate with a newb couple. It was literally, 3 hours of the boys talking(not about sex either mind you) and nobody making a first move. So I did. It wasn't the mfm we wanted but hubby got his first taste of watching his wife in action. He said he loved it regardless.

 

Still debating on a couple full swap. We'll have a plan if and when that happens.

[Alura 2,775]

I think it's better for the women to get things started.

 

We were sitting on our sectional, Mrs. Alura beside a brand new Mr. Playmate and me beside his wife, talking about the weather or something, when Mr. Playmate asked, "Do y'all know any good ice breakers?"

 

Laura said, "Kissing usually does it for me."

 

"Huh?"

 

"I mean that if you kiss me, enough heat will probably be generated to melt any ice you may be feeling."

 

As usual, she was right.

[Avacado 48]

I can only vouch for how this works for us, if we are out (which we usually are) when we host back to our place usually a drink in the living room rapidly leads to the bedroom and/or spare room for fun.

 

Seems like only minutes though. Good luck.

[wisconsin 58]

One time when we were almost completely newbies we had a small 5 couples get together in a hotel in Vegas. It was a great place and the couple hosting the party made everything perfect. They thought about everything like music,water,drinks,condoms,candles but we still couldn't transition from the living room to the play area. It was taking very long time like 2 hours.

 

Then my husband (he is a smart man) he picked up a cutest girl from the group and they started making out. Later he told me he was afraid to end up with somebody he wouldn't like so he decided to move forward fast

 

In a little bit of time they progressed to him eating her out. We were all sitting there on a couch talking and in a they were naked making out. It was weirdest thing ever but it was our first small group play and we were learning. We all started playing dice and finally a couple approached me and we started kissing and talking and undressing and everybody else started having some fun for 3-4 hours until everybody got their turn.

 

Now when we play in a clubs it's easier . We just a bedroom away from play area so we all start talking and discussing rules and then somebody offers to move to a play room.If everybody agree we go and if somebody doesn't want then we don't.

 

Recently we had played in a hotel takeover and we had a small 3 couples group. We all knew we weren't newbies so we talked a little, found out what the rules are then moved to the play room, we freshened up a little and just got down to our underwear and started playing silly games and kissing and playing. It was much easier and faster. I think this time it took about 20 min to warm up.

 

Looks like when people get undressed things progress more naturally and easier.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Alura said:

I think it's better for the women to get things started.

This really is the safest and most effective way. Relating it to our own experience:

 

-- Most of the time I've decided I want to jump the woman's bones even before the couple has been invited to sit and make themselves comfortable in the living room. Allowing my wife to decide when the time is right prevents the kinds of mistakes I tend to make from being too eager.

 

-- No man has ever offered words of protest when a woman leads him by the hand up the stairs.

 

Hope this helps.

[twohots4u2 188]

We started swinging in a club in NYC where you put your clothes in a locker before you entered the main part of the club. When everyone is naked things start very easily.

 

Then we went to some small private parties and the conversation went on and on and on. In one party, it ended before the conversation did.

 

My gal decided to make sure that did not happen again. So, now she gets two of the guys to sit beside her on the sofa, and when they do, she rubs their cocks in their trousers. Soon they are hard, and of course the little brain takes over when its support staff gets hard. They start kissing and feeling her up. She unzips their trousers and gets their now hard cocks out and starts stroking them. 

 

At this point, she stands up and says, "It probably would be a lot more fun in the bedroom," and heads that way taking off her clothes as she does. Everyone follows her, taking off their clothes and settling on the bed.

 

By then, the party is ON!

 

I am very glad that she knows how to take things in hand.

[ALilOEverything 901]

If it's two on two I think it's better when everyone sits on the sofa. In the beginning when it felt more awkward I would bring out things for us all to look at together (websites on my laptop, photo albums, whatever) so we would have to huddle close and I would often find myself creeping onto someone's lap and start to do a little petting and go from there. Usually it just takes one person to initiate. Once we put on music in the living room so we could dance and exchange partners while dancing and that would always lead to something too. I found it better if the foreplay at least started in the living room. Now it's pretty easy. Sometimes I'll invite the female half back to the bedroom to show my lingerie/toy collection and then when she's all relaxed ask the guys to come back and check it all out for themselves.

[carl01tx 17]

Our first preplanned meet-up with another couple was after a lot of online chatting with them and a few phone conversations. We discussed most of our limits and expectations. Still after all the “planning” when met we sat and continued with vanilla conversation. I for one was at a loss of how to proceed. The other couple had previously had a similar meet-up and came to the same impasse. The couple that they had met had a set of dice with sexual suggestions. He explained the history of their introduction to swinging with the other couple and told us that he had brought a pair of these dice. We took turns rolling, losing cloths, and all started to flow well. The transition to the bed was not only smooth after that but a little rushed.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

we let it happen naturally, which means sometimes we don't transition at all, we just stay in the living room. Usually, if we end up in a bedroom it's after most of the clothes are already off and someone speaks up with a "maybe we should take this someplace more comfortable".

 

Then again most of our play occurs in a hotel room where the living room is the bedroom so it's a non issue anyway.

[Learning 160]

Damn, could have used this post a year ago...lol! We did not transition well I always felt that in our relationship that I was the one to get things semi rolling because Mr. Learning was so laid back. I also got from the ladies noting that Mr. Learning did not act interested enough... was but he just didn't jump all over people. It's just so much easier at a club because you are already rolling with each other.

[talltim123 69]

My observations on how to get things started the first time with another couple or a third person:

 

I had a long time lady friend and FB who had had a long-lasting fantasy of being in a threesome with two men. I also had a single male friend who is interested in participating in that and he also had lots of experience in the lifestyle.

 

With both of my two friends knowing what the agenda was for the evening we met for dinner at a local restaurant in order to let them get to know each other a little bit socially before advancing the game. We had a great time socialize and dinner and discussed a wide range of topics and exchanged ideas on many things but the subject of sex was never among the discussed topics. I thought that perhaps one of the other or possibly both of them were not attracted to each other. So far it was a great social time however. As it became obvious that we could not continue occupying our seats at the restaurant I suggested we go to my home and take my boat out on the water. I was divorced and my three teenage sons were home that evening so we could not easily continue the social activities in my house. It was a very warm summer evening and my boat was on a lift on a pier in my backyard. The river was wide and the water very calm at night and we anchored out in the middle of the river where there was no other boat traffic.

 

Even with the change in venue the talk continued in a social vein and I was beginning to think that the evening, while a great social evening, was going to be a bust with respect to what had been planned. In order to get things started I went behind my lady friend and began massaging her breasts through her blouse while my male friend clearly enjoyed the view. It only took a minute or two of breast massage to inspire her to remove her blouse and bra. At that time she sat on a small bench on the boat and each of us gave individual attention to a different breast and this is enjoyed by all. The 23 foot boat was not large enough to really engage in much more activity and so after enjoying her breasts for a while and returning to the pier, the evening ended but by now we all knew what we wanted to do together. We made a date for a week later at a local hotel room, brought in some fast food which we hastily ate and then had a wonderful evening together.

 

I also occasionally see a married couple either alone or with an inexperienced lady friend who would like to try a foursome. If that lady is new to the lifestyle then the social aspects of the afternoon or evening often occupy a lot of wasted time before if subject moves around to what all four of us knew was the main agenda. On two occasions when introducing a new lady I would try to be sitting next to her as we made social small talk with the other couple. After the conversation was going well and it appeared that everyone was socially comfortable each other I would slowly and gradually begin massaging one of her breasts and this often inspire the other couple to engage in similar activity. Again, as the social discourse continues I would gradually remove her blouse and bra and continue to play with her bare breasts and the other couple followed suit. From there it was usually a natural and very easy transition to the bed and more intimate activity.

 

To me it is important for people to socialize and to gain a degree of comfort with the other couple or person but then there comes the indecision or uncertainty as to how to escalate the activities to the intended purpose of the evening. By incorporating affectionate gestures and advancing to breast play is a natural and gradual progression to intimate activities and seems to make things flow well. Of course the female partner could also be the initiator of touching her partner intimately through his clothing. On two of these occasions described above the lady who was my date had never had a lifestyle experience before so that the fact that I was petting her seem to make the transition easier, more acceptable and enjoyable.

 

I do agree that a bit of social interaction is important to assess the mutual attraction of the parties and if the conversation transitions to sexual topics of interest then that certainly is great. However, if the situation or encounter seems stuck at the social level, then gradually escalating intimate touching of one's partner can help create an atmosphere that makes advancing to more intimate play an easier transition.

[strathmore 20]

How about asking if they want to play. if they don't you'll save a lot of time.

I find they always say yes. Isn't that why we were there?

[jiggernbobo 15]

TheSwingerSet said:

This is not something that is easy to do, especially for new comers. I have heard Mrs. Swingerset just blurt ok let's fuck a few times when things weren't going fast enough.

My wife does that same thing most times as well. Which sometimes catches the other couple off guard because it's me who does all the online chatting and setting up of playdates.

[boomer3 16]

Re: how to transition from living room to bedroom

 

My wife is a flirt but shy at same time. She has to like the man to start anything with him. Usually she will slow dance with a man, single or married, exchange kisses with him. She likes to kiss and if she likes his kisses everything will happen. Maybe a trip to the hot tub naked before the bedroom or right to the bedroom. Then she likes oral next and then anything can/will happen.