Wife opposed to kissing others

[daveandkelly 15]

My wife is opposed to kissing others and I am all for it, how do i resolve this problem?

[TheSwingerSet 205]

Hate to say it dude, but if she says no kissing that is what you are stuck with unless she changes her mind.

 

On a good note I don't know of many couples who have the no kissing rule that have stuck with it for long.

 

K

[daveandkelly 15]

That makes me feel a little better, we just ran into a couple recentlt that we were really wanting to hang out with but the other couple had to have kissing as a part of the fun, long story short we had to cancel.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Welcome to the Swingers Board, Dave & Kelly

 

Just to clarify. After reading your previous post in the bisexual thread, are saying that you both are bisexual ?

 

How did you determine that with out "kissing others" ?

 

Could you give us a little more background information ?

[good times 991]

That makes me feel a little better, we just ran into a couple recentlt that we were really wanting to hang out with but the other couple had to have kissing as a part of the fun, long story short we had to cancel.

You will find most folks feel that way, I know we won't play with anyone with the "no kissing" rule. Unfortunately, it will severely limit your pool of prospective playmates. Hopefully your wife will see the problem and rethink her decision. Wouldn't count on it though. Our experience, and the main reason we don't play with folks that have a no kissing rule, is that it is often a symptom of more serious underlying insecurities with swinging.

 

The only thing you can do is hopefully find someone that you are compatible with that does not find "no kissing" to be a problem. If it is the case that your wife does not have any other issues with swinging, then usually the "no kissing" rule goes out the window after the first play date. That is the point when most people that have rules like this realize that all those rules do is get in the way of the fun. Good luck.

[Alura 2,774]

We had only one rule. We could fuck in any way possible but we would not "make love" with anyone else. That was easy; we couldn't have done it, anyway.

 

Ask your wife it that might be a good compromise.

 

Alura

[two4youinswva 3,068]

You will find most folks feel that way, I know we won't play with anyone with the "no kissing" rule. Unfortunately, it will severely limit your pool of prospective playmates. Hopefully your wife will see the problem and rethink her decision. Wouldn't count on it though. Our experience, and the main reason we don't play with folks that have a no kissing rule, is that it is often a symptom of more serious underlying insecurities with swinging.

 

The only thing you can do is hopefully find someone that you are compatible with that does not find "no kissing" to be a problem. If it is the case that your wife does not have any other issues with swinging, then usually the "no kissing" rule goes out the window after the first play date. That is the point when most people that have rules like this realize that all those rules do is get in the way of the fun. Good luck.

 

Agree on all points. Not being able to kiss would be a real challenge for us, especially Mrs two4you, and we would politely decline an offer, mainly because kissing comes so natural, we'd be more focused on making sure we didn't cross that line while playing instead of enjoying the experience.

 

Continued communication and exploration of concerns and fears will let you know if this is going to be a temporary hangup, or a symptom of another issue.

 

Good luck!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I have to agree with the others if she's against it the best thing is for you both to not do it.

 

If she is ok with you kissing others but just not with her doing it, you could attempt that but I tend to believe that with rules like this its best if both parties follow the same rule as to not leave any confusion or doubt.

[boomer3 16]

We agree on kissing as the starting point. Without kissing there is no connection or reason to go any further. If my lady likes the man, she will start with kissing. Then anything can/will happen like getting naked for the next step before the bed for a good time.

[glamfet 15]

Our 1st post............

 

My wife has a "no kiss rule". She loves the girls and she will kiss the other ladies. She loves to fuck guys with the right equipment but she doesn't like to kiss. In recent outings we have one couple that we have played with for 5 years, she will occasionally get slightly affectionate with the other guy, but that has only been in the last couple of months. She absolutely will not kiss any of our other male playmates.

 

On the other hand, I am very intimate. I enjoy kissing and other forms of intimacy. We have talked about this at length and it is no problem. We enjoy sex differently and that's ok. But be sure you talk and communicate the parameters with each other.

 

Mr Glamfet

[Tina and Bob 236]

I agree with the majority of the responses that feels kissing is required, part of the foreplay. My only rule is have good oral hygiene, no smokers and no garlic eaters. Seems silly to me that you will do oral sex and penis penetration but no kissing, really?

[MsGoneWild 182]

You will find most folks feel that way, I know we won't play with anyone with the "no kissing" rule. Unfortunately, it will severely limit your pool of prospective playmates. Hopefully your wife will see the problem and rethink her decision. Wouldn't count on it though. Our experience, and the main reason we don't play with folks that have a no kissing rule, is that it is often a symptom of more serious underlying insecurities with swinging.

 

The only thing you can do is hopefully find someone that you are compatible with that does not find "no kissing" to be a problem. If it is the case that your wife does not have any other issues with swinging, then usually the "no kissing" rule goes out the window after the first play date. That is the point when most people that have rules like this realize that all those rules do is get in the way of the fun. Good luck.

 

That's our rules. We just LOVE TO KISS, and if a couple has that rule, we'd have to politely decline.

[essexcouple 15]

we have a no kissing rule, its just something that we save for each other. I have to admit we have broken it a few times in the heat of the moment! But its all about what you BOTH want, its a relationship and you're swinging together so you have to make decisions together. Sometimes you give a bit, somtimes you take a bit.

[leftcoastcouple 32]

We haven't played in ages, but we consider kissing an act of affection, rather than something sexual. With that mindset, it's something we keep for us.

 

Contrary to Tina and Bob's comment about it being silly—though not to say we're right and they're wrong—we feel sex is just sex, while kissing is so inherently intimate, it's best kept between us. After all, don't most prostitutes have a "no kissing" rule, basically for that reason?

 

Then again, part of why we feel this way is due to a situation we dealt with in the past. A guy we used to play with—and whom Mrs. LC freely kissed because it added to her enjoyment—grew so emotionally attached to her, to the point that he felt he should have access to her any time he wanted, that we had cut things off—and lost a good friend in the process. We won't allow that to happen again.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

—we feel sex is just sex, while kissing is so inherently intimate, it's best kept between us. After all, don't most prostitutes have a "no kissing" rule, basically for that reason?

 

Then again, part of why we feel this way is due to a situation we dealt with in the past. A guy we used to play with—and whom Mrs. LC freely kissed because it added to her enjoyment—grew so emotionally attached to her, to the point that he felt he should have access to her any time he wanted, that we had cut things off—and lost a good friend in the process. We won't allow that to happen again.

 

We really like kissing. It's just not as fun or sexy without it.

 

As far as the prostitute reference. That really bothers me. I am not a prostitute! If you are thinking of your swing partners that way I find that very offensive. I don't want to play with anyone who doesn't consider me an equal with feelings and desires.

 

I don't think any specific sex act causes someone to become emotionally attached. Kissing is not the reason your situation happened. It could easily happen again with another partner whether you kiss them or not. It's fine for you to not want to kiss, but don't think that is going to prevent attachments.

[Alura 2,774]

We haven't played in ages, but we consider kissing an act of affection, rather than something sexual. With that mindset, it's something we keep for us.

 

Contrary to Tina and Bob's comment about it being silly—though not to say we're right and they're wrong—we feel sex is just sex, while kissing is so inherently intimate, it's best kept between us. After all, don't most prostitutes have a "no kissing" rule, basically for that reason?

 

Then again, part of why we feel this way is due to a situation we dealt with in the past. A guy we used to play with—and whom Mrs. LC freely kissed because it added to her enjoyment—grew so emotionally attached to her, to the point that he felt he should have access to her any time he wanted, that we had cut things off—and lost a good friend in the process. We won't allow that to happen again.

 

Since you don't have kissing to "heat things up," how do you begin your playtimes?

 

Al;ura

[celtic239 297]

With play partners I kiss but my wife doesn't (she says it's because she smokes). My wife likes getting "warmed up" by getting a massage by the other male.