First Experience... not quite how we hoped haha

[yarly 15]

So I've been lurking on this board for about a week. My girlfriend and I had been talking about a MFF threesome and we put a post online searching for an interested participant. Two weeks, no emails at all.

 

Then, the only email we receive, a couple contact us that is similar age (twenties) and lets us know they are looking for a couple. We think they are both attractive and decide to meet them just for a drink. See how the vibe is. We meet them and they are both very nice and the same as their pictures so we agree to meet again in a week at one of their places'.

 

Fast forward to the meeting.

 

We get there at 8 and my SO has to leave at 10:30. All of us are new to this and we are a bit nervous... end up talking till about 8:45... not sure how to transition into it best. Actually, I had thought of a few ideas but was just too afraid to go out and say it. Eventually both (who had just got off of work previously and not had time to clean up) decide to take a shower.

 

At around 9 we finally get "started", we swap and go to different rooms to get to know each other... kissing, undressing and oral start. It's all exciting and everyone is having a great time.

 

Not too long after my SO and the other M come to join us (I'm in the bedroom with his SO) and we let the girls play on the bed while we watch and fondle here and there. I think we are both excited about what we're witnessing.

 

Up to this point I was quite hard (not 100% but I think close).

 

After this girls have been at it a little while we suggest trying a few of the things we had wanted to do/see... both girls on each of us as well as both of us on each girl. However, I think this is about the time the problem starts.

 

We are both having a little trouble getting and staying hard.

 

We try a few combinations in the bedroom and eventually the other M and his SO go into the living room (to be more comfortable I assume, which was perfectly fine and understandable) and I think he finishes off there. My SO and I continue to fool around in the bedroom but my inability to stay stiff are causing a bit of a problem.

 

We call it quits (my SO and I) not too long after and its already coming up on 10:30 so we sit down and chat a bit before having to jet.

 

So... this reminds me a little of the first time I had "sex". I wasn't able to get it up at all even though I was excited mentally and more than willing. The second time was up just fine but it took me about 2 hours to cum (seriously... not an exaggeration).

 

Since then I've had many partners and never encountered similar problems before.

 

I'm just wondering now if it was the same issue... nervousness... that was the culprit. We were both totally into it and wanted to do more... but physically unable.

 

I'm hoping we will meet up again in the future, and everyone will have a great time and no issues but we'll just have to see.

 

Regardless, had an amazing time I don't think I'll ever forget. Still floating in the clouds.

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

Erectile problems are quite common for guys new to the lifestyle. In fact, I would guess it's the norm rather than the exception. Don't sweat it, it probably won't be a problem next time, and if it is it almost certainly won't be a problem down the road.

 

I know it can be unnerving for a guy. But, it's natural. It happens, and it's almost always nothing to worry about.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

nervousness and the newness of the situation will definitely do it. Many guys experience the same issue. In a way I'd say you were lucky that you were both experiencing it at the same time, I'd think that would have to make you both feel a bit better about things.

[MN Tom 251]

Yeah, sounds pretty typical to me. Especially if you had condoms on.

 

Realize you probably had a lot of firsts in this, first time with someone else (while being with an SO probably), possibly the first time in front of someone else, and you had a time crunch.

 

Nervousness and the mind play some funky games with our equipment at times.

[here4thefun69 16]

I too have experienced this. Im not in the medical field or anything; just my theory. But I jizzed alot the first time me and my wife had a fmf. Because of just the overwhelming excitement of watching my wife with another woman for the first time. This also happened this past year when we were with another couple having same room sex. I was hard all while the girls were playing and watching the other guy play with his wife and my wife playing with her. But when it came time to have sex with my wife I couldn't keep it up even though I was supper turned on. I was very frustrated after this. It actually made me feel very good (no offense intended) to read your story and know that Im not the only guy who has done this. Especially since I can usually stay hard for hours.

[here4thefun69 16]

Also had alot of alcohol both times. Which may be the biggest part of the problem according to things ive read.

[HappyCpl 89]

Also had alot of alcohol both times. Which may be the biggest part of the problem according to things ive read.

 

 

Big-time!!

 

 

 

When we go out to the club or meet another couple, we(well, me.. as I have more of a fondness for the drink than her)take it easy on the booze, as it has a detrimental effect on my ability to "get and maintain". For nights when we feel like drinking and not playing we usually go somewhere other than our club, as I imagine being around us when we're drunk is about as much fun as we have when the other couple is smashed. A few drinks to loosen up is one thing, but if someone has to be shit-faced in order to play, then maybe it's time for that couple to check their priorities. If we feel like hanging out with our friends at the club and getting our drink on, we call it " Bark at the moon and shoot out the lights" night, and playing isn't the focus of our evening. They're fun, too, but not all the time.

[here4thefun69 16]

Big-time!!

 

 

 

When we go out to the club or meet another couple, we(well, me.. as I have more of a fondness for the drink than her)take it easy on the booze, as it has a detrimental effect on my ability to "get and maintain". For nights when we feel like drinking and not playing we usually go somewhere other than our club, as I imagine being around us when we're drunk is about as much fun as we have when the other couple is smashed. A few drinks to loosen up is one thing, but if someone has to be shit-faced in order to play, then maybe it's time for that couple to check their priorities. If we feel like hanging out with our friends at the club and getting our drink on, we call it " Bark at the moon and shoot out the lights" night, and playing isn't the focus of our evening. They're fun, too, but not all the time.

I dont really get shit faced but Its just i drink alot in several hours of being there. And we hadn't planned on anything happening those nights just kind of went with it lol. I know from now on I want do it that way lol. I by no means have to get bombed to want it anyway lol. Just hard to not drink when everyone else is.

[HappyCpl 89]

What a friend of ours does to ensure she doesn't drink too much at the club is to pour a measured amount of rum into a separate bottle, so that's all she gets for the night. It makes sense to me, too, as my "Crown Royal" math gets a big fuzzy and I lose count of how many shots I've done.

 

 

The point of having a few drinks is to loosen up, not to drink to excess. Mrs. H and I have been in situations where one, or both, of the other members of the couple had too much to drink, and conked-out while in the act. It's happened to me when we were starting out, but I learned from my mistakes quickly.

 

 

Good luck!

[Juniper 17]

I just posted a thread about this and like another member said, no offense but your post makes me feel better about myself too! It is good to read that this seems to be pretty common for first (or second) timers and not to worry. How did your girl react to the situation?

[Juniper 17]

So mine and my SO's first night there was a bust. I didn't get a full erection once. But last night was another story! Wow. What a difference a little familiarity makes. I'm not positive whether it made a big difference, but I also picked up a bottle of herbal supplements from Whole Foods called Charged for Men. They also have Charmed for Women if your girl has a hard time enjoying herself. I took three of these to start (it says take one twice a day but I wanted to load up on it since I only had a few hours before playtime), and I didn't have any difficulties with erections.

 

I felt a bit jittery, and had a headache the next morning but I don't know whether to attribute the jitteryness to the supplements or just nerves. I really enjoyed myself, but I was just a bit shaky almost like I took a couple Stacker pills or chugged cappuccino. YMMV, but I think I will continue to take it on days I am going to the club, at least until I get to the bottom of the bottle.

[BravoEcho 15]

So mine and my SO's first night there was a bust. I didn't get a full erection once. But last night was another story! Wow. What a difference a little familiarity makes. I'm not positive whether it made a big difference, but I also picked up a bottle of herbal supplements from Whole Foods called Charged for Men. They also have Charmed for Women if your girl has a hard time enjoying herself. I took three of these to start (it says take one twice a day but I wanted to load up on it since I only had a few hours before playtime), and I didn't have any difficulties with erections.

 

I felt a bit jittery, and had a headache the next morning but I don't know whether to attribute the jitteryness to the supplements or just nerves. I really enjoyed myself, but I was just a bit shaky almost like I took a couple Stacker pills or chugged cappuccino. YMMV, but I think I will continue to take it on days I am going to the club, at least until I get to the bottom of the bottle.

 

I have actually tried Charged for Men. It was probably the Yohimbe in it that gave you the jittery feeling. It worked okay for me but there are other supplements without Yohimbe in it that still work. The one I am taking now doesn't have any Yohimbe in it and it works really well for me. I used to have issues with (ED) and had issues being able to "finish". Now my wife complains because I make a mess after

[meumeu 46]

I really appreciate these posts and responses because my wife and I have been talking about the LS for a while now...I find myself wondering what it would be for the first time. Will I be able to perform? will I dissapoint potential playmates? I know now to just lower the expectations and worry too much about my first performace, chances are it will be better the next time...I hope. I also want to say thanks to everyone here, I've learned quite a bit since my first visit to the board.