Considering trying a MFM

[CdnCpl4Fun 15]

Hello guys, long time reader. I'm the male half of a happily married couple. I enjoy reading the posts here from time to time. I enjoy some of the posts but other posts scare me.

 

My wife and I have been married for 13 years. We have always been faithfull and have a very trusting relationship. Our sex life is good, not as frequent as we would like, but fun.

 

Over the last 3-4 years I have had the fantasy of sharing my wife with another man. The fantasy developed slowly, at first I dismissed it because it freaked me out a little. When I first told her she was against it and it freaked her out a little as well.

 

Over the years we have discussed it many times. Some times it playes out during sex and we both enjoy it. She has opened up to the idea and it turns her on as well. Occasionally I will write long stories where she gets to enjoy two men. The tall tales really turn her on.

 

We are at the point where she has agreed that she would do it. In fact, we were talking to friends about swinging one night and she openly admitted to that she would enjoy having sex with two men at once.

 

Just the fact that she likes the idea is a turn on for me. However, we have not taken any steps what so ever to pursue an adventure. We have decided that a stranger would be best to avoid any problems afterwards. If it didn't work out, then we don't lose a friend. Plus, it gives us more privacy.

 

I am not a jealous man. I enjoy watching her flirt and she knows it. She has flashed her breasts and this turns me on. I love it when she dresses in revealing clothing and guys make comments. Her confidence has grown since we first met and this has allowed her to show more cleavage than ever before.

 

My biggest fear is that one of us will chicken out during the act or I will suddenly freak out once I actually see another man inside her. I also fear that one or both of use will have huge regrets afterwards.

 

We dipped our toes into the water one night after a party when another couple stayed behind. She sat between us two guys on a couch while he rubbed her pussy through her jeans and massaged her breasts under her bras while I kissed her. Both me and his wife cheered him on. In fact, she took a pic of the action that was quickly deleted.

 

She let him do it for maybe 10 seconds before he pulled away and we laughed it off. I know it wasn't any form of a threesome but it did validate the fact that seeing another man touch her turns me on.

 

The other couple are friends and they both know of my fantasy to share my wife. They have enjoyed a couple of FFM threesomes so I know it didn't bother his wife to see him touch mine. I must admit, it still gives me an erection thinking about it. Even though we all had a good time, we have no interest in having a sexual relationship with them. I think that night things got a little crazy and we had some stupid drunk fun. We have since been with the same couple but nothing happened other than a little flirting.

 

That is about it in a nutshell. Sorry for such a long post.

 

I think we may be ready but why rush things. We both agree that it may probably happen some day, when and if everything falls into place.

 

At least we can both enjoy the fantasy with no risks.

[SheerBliss 92]

You sound a lot like my husband and I. He always had these juicy fantasies about seeing me with another guy and I thought they were just that until I was propositioned by an old classmate and my husband said "you should go for it!"

 

We talked about it for about a year after that. I knew that he thought he would like this, but what if I went through with it then my husband felt horrible? I couldn't un-fuck the guy! Once it's done it's done, so I think that if you get to the point where you are going to go for it, you have to agree that if there are regrets afterwards that you are going to have to let them go (easier said than done). No holding grudges or blaming each other for following through with something that you both agree to ahead of time. Then you can either decide to proceed or call it quits and say "well, that happened".

 

We have just started dating a couple, but my husband's main interest is seeing me (or hearing me) with another guy. He belongs to an online forum for the "hotwife" lifestyle which is a little different than regular "swinging".

If you'd like to get his perspective, I'm sure he'd be happy to get on this site and chat with you about it.

 

One thing we did that helped ease us into things is chat with guys online. I've actually met some really nice men through a chat room I frequent and it turned on my husband (and me) for him to watch/listen/read me having erotic chats with these guys. It's a "safe" way to dally with another guy and gave us some confidence that we were going to like pursuing this lifestyle.

 

Go slow...keep communicating openly and honestly.

[whatwewant 38]

It's something we have talked about at length as well and we are still trying to find the right person/people to have those kinds of experiences with. As the male half it is something I would enjoy watching and joining in and she has expressed a lot of interest in as well. Keep the lines of communications open and don't be afraid to tell each other exactly how you feel, that's what we do. My thoughts are that since she's had multiple guys in previous sexual relationships, what's the difference? She might be with other guys, but she'll always go home with me.

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

Everything you've posted (read it all, thanks!) sounds great. I think you're on the right path, and I don't see any red flags popping up. It's great that you've spent so much time talking about it, and that you got a chance to dip your toes in the pool and gauge your reaction. From everything you've posted, I think you'll be fine. I want to respond to one aspect of your post directly:

 

My biggest fear is that one of us will chicken out during the act or I will suddenly freak out once I actually see another man inside her. I also fear that one or both of use will have huge regrets afterwards.

 

As SheerBliss said, if your wife does have sex with another man she can't un-fuck him. Might be fun trying though (and there's a lot of men in this world who need a good un-fucking )

 

You can't *really* know how you'll feel after she's had sex with another man until you're in that chair. There's unknowns to this, just as there are unknowns to just about everything in life. Fear of the unknown is what keeps us safe and alive. It's a defense mechanism, and it's there for a reason.

 

That said, taking counsel of your fears can stop you from doing ANYthing. Living in fear means living as a hermit.

 

So the question becomes; what is real behind this fear?

 

You and your wife have a strong marriage. That's evidence in your post. Neither of you has cheated on the other, you've been together a long time, and are very close.

 

Could her having sex (with both of you wanting and agreeing to do so) with another man threaten that? If she really wants to have sex with another man, and if you want her to as well, I think it's unlikely. Very unlikely.

 

As you said, you are not a jealous man. You seem to enjoy making her happy and fulfilled. If another man is having sex with her, and she's really getting into it, I think you'll enjoy it very much as well. There's a synthesis that will evolve between the two of you in her having sex with others; you both will enjoy it in part because of the sex itself and in part because of the pleasure it gives your spouse. You'll enjoy her having so much fun, and she'll enjoy you enjoying watching/participating.

 

My wife and I talked about swinging for quite some time before taking the first real step. We too reached a point where we voiced concern that taking that step would be something that we couldn't take back. We'd have to deal with the aftermath, no matter what it was. On this we decided we would approach it calmly and rationally, and deal with any negative aftermath together, as a team. We both felt there wasn't anything we couldn't master so long as trust between us wasn't broken.

 

Since then, my wife has enjoyed many men, and there's never been a negative aftermath. Seeing her enjoying having sex with another man is a serious rush, and I always enjoy watching and/or participating. My wife really, really enjoys MFMs now, and we've also had a couple of MMFMs to her great delight.

 

You don't have to now take a giant plunge, and jump over the cliff. You've dipped your toes in the pool. You can take it a step or two further, by getting together with a couple or single male for a soft swap. You can gauge how you feel again after that, and see where you are. My wife and I did that too, and both of us were very ready for the next step.

 

I think you're doing fine, and you will be fine. Just keep those lines of communication wide, wide open.

 

And, keep us posted!

[Tina and Bob 236]

Not much to add here other than if your marriage is strong and you both are confident in that, you will be fine. Sounds like the communication is very open and honest. Bob is not into participating in MFM, but he does occasionally enjoy watching me get pounded by either one on one or multiple guys, and then the sex with him and me afterwards is awesome because he know's this little slut belongs to him.

[CdnCpl4Fun 15]

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement.

 

I suspect that it's only a matter of time before we take the next step. As for know, we are both enjoying the fantasy very much.

[joaninla 162]

Well, good luck to both you. While the fantasy is fun, the reality of an MFM is really great. We too were apprehensive when we first began, and one thing that made it easier for me to relax (a real key in my opinion to enjoying the experience) was that we both knew and trusted the guy we invited to join in. Since then, we've had a lot of MFM's (it's our favorite sexual activity), and in "the good old days" many were with strangers; and while quite enjoyable, I still prefer sex with someone I know. My two cents. Again, good luck and enjoy!

[JDApopka 54]

I too was nervous about how I would feel watching my wife with another man and it was my idea to do it. I'm very happy to report that it was as great as I dreamed it would be and we have been having fun ever since

[Alura 2,774]

In fact, we were talking to friends about swinging one night and she openly admitted to that she would enjoy having sex with two men at once.

 

We dipped our toes into the water one night after a party when another couple stayed behind. She sat between us two guys on a couch while he rubbed her pussy through her jeans and massaged her breasts under her bras while I kissed her. Both me and his wife cheered him on.

 

The other couple are friends and they both know of my fantasy to share my wife. They have enjoyed a couple of FFM threesomes so I know it didn't bother his wife to see him touch mine. I must admit, it still gives me an erection thinking about it. Even though we all had a good time, we have no interest in having a sexual relationship with them. I think that night things got a little crazy and we had some stupid drunk fun. We have since been with the same couple but nothing happened other than a little flirting.

 

Why not?

 

I know a lot of members here frown on the idea, but my late wife and I had pretty good success with friends. We learned that it was important to find out if they communicate well with each other. Then, it's necessary to communicate with them. It sounds like y'all are doing well in that department with your friends.

 

We would have continued to flirt and talk about the possibilities, which includes every way two couples can be fitted together, including several varieties of threesomes. Also talk about the negative possibilities, jealousy, etc. Nothing may ever come of it but if the four people involved agree early-on to be honest and to protect the marriages and the friendships above all else, the sky's the limit. At least it was for us.

 

Your friends show several traits that tell me they'd be great playmates. They've not pushed y'all nor have they failed to talk things out. Laura and I would have made a dinner date with them. After salad, she would have turned the conversation to sex and when the time was right, she'd have asked, "How do y'all feel about swinging?"

 

Alura

[Let's Play 15]

It sounds to me like you two would likely be good candidates for trying out mfm. Your communication seems to be going great, plus you had the chance to try it out just a little and you both did well with it. My husband had the fantasy of watching me with others, and for a while he only mentioned wanting to see me with another woman. I wasn't fully on board with that (I've never been with a woman, though a bit curious), and he never pushed the issue at all. It was just something we discussed. Then one day we were talking and he asked how I felt about another guy. I was quite a bit more excited by that idea. Since we had been discussing swinging, an open relationship, and those topics in general for 7 years, we talked about it for a few more days and started up a profile on sls just to see how things went. We dealt with a couple flakes and a cheater right off the bat, but have since found several great guys who we'd both love to see again. We're actually meeting someone new tonight and we're both really excited. If you're interested we have a post both on our very first experience where my husband just watched, and another on the first mfm we had under the "first time experiences" forum.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

One caveat about online chat is the difference between what happens there and what turns out in real life. We've had a fair bit of experience with that, both before and after we met. People can be exactly like they are online and they can be completely different. How different can be stunning and only believed by experiencing.

 

As for MFM, it is delicious. There is nothing like being with the woman you love and entering sexual geography not reachable by only a couple. Two men in sync can be so much fun with one woman, as much fun for the men as for the woman.

 

Of course if you are open to the full sexual geography available in a threesome, then there is even more fun for all.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

No reason to rush. Just go at the pace you are both comfortable and take baby steps. You've taken the first one and you've seen that all was ok afterward, no big regrets and you didn't freak out at seeing another guy touching her.

 

Have you considered playing with another couple? It sounds like this couple might be a good one to test the waters with a little, perhaps a soft-swap. Or if they are open to the idea just have him play with your wife and take things a little further than go back to your own partners.

 

Each small step you take will allow you to better see that you can handle things (I think you can) and that there will be no regrets. I doubt there will be regrets as long as you each continue to talk through things both before and after. And if, at any point, one of you isn't comfortable you stop things.

[bigunite69 15]

Trust and manners are the key.Me being the other M most of the time I wait for the invite and I take Qs fro the Wife and hubby.Its amazeing I always get invited back.Enjoy the ride

 

Art

[MacNfries 123]

MMF is our favorite as well ....but, all this is harder to arrange than one might expect. She and I are both professionally employed, so secrecy is of the upmost requirement.

 

I find that if you have a casual conversation with a few of your buddies when you're golfing, or whatever, and bring up the subject of fulfilling fantasies, you almost always get a volunteer that will say ... "hey, if you need any help, let me know". Then you have a private conversation with that person later on ... determine if he is serious, and go from there. My wife & I prefer bareback sex, but its always safe sex the first time or two around. We call it the "no harm, no foul" sex. Trolling for single guys on the internet is just plain scary to us.

[couplers 4,648]

Hello, Petra reporting. There needs to be a balance between not rushing it and postponing it too long. Think of what you are missing! Your wife likely had sex with men before you, and if you were to leave this earth she would have sex with other men as well, so there is no big deal about doing something you both want to do now while you are married. This is from a woman that had two great experiences with men that are my current bf and husband respectively, and one not so good fling with a third guy. Hubby supported me the whole way and overall, no regrets.

[whatwewant 38]

Hello, Petra reporting. There needs to be a balance between not rushing it and postponing it too long. Think of what you are missing! Your wife likely had sex with men before you, and if you were to leave this earth she would have sex with other men as well, so there is no big deal about doing something you both want to do now while you are married. This is from a woman that had two great experiences with men that are my current bf and husband respectively, and one not so good fling with a third guy. Hubby supported me the whole way and overall, no regrets.

 

This +1000.

 

Life is short, and sometimes we trip on obstacles we ourselves, put in front of us. Sometimes looking at things from a different perspective makes those things seem really small.

[Fantasy01 11]

Hi the male half here...for a long time like other men Ive read about on here getting hot just watching their wife with another man. Well it seems Im no differant but when I first suggested it I got no response. About 6 months ago we talked about a mfm again and now she is taking steps to locate one on a swinger site we are on.. Since we are both Bi I would like to have a Shemale join us...but now thats a problem cause I havent a clue where to find one..

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

Since we are both Bi I would like to have a Shemale join us...but now thats a problem cause I havent a clue where to find one..

 

That certainly would be a niche 'market' to be looking in, but you can find it if you look long/hard enough. My wife and I are frequently looking for prospective single males for her, and we periodically come across various transgender types.

 

Start with SLS. Use the search functions. Not sure how to layer in the search words you might be looking for, but see if you can. If you can't, then keep reading until you find one that seems to match. A trick I use is to add notes to single males we review, and you can select against that so any search where you select against that allows you to see only profiles you haven't looked at before.

 

As with any subset of the population, there are swingers within that subset. Swingers come from all walks of life, all backgrounds. You will find what you are looking for, it just may take time.

 

One question to be certain to answer before contacting such a person though; is your wife comfortable with the idea of an MFM with such a person? You both need to be on the same page.

[CdnCpl4Fun 15]

I'd second the great alura on this (along with others).

 

Unless of course you have no attraction to this other couple or something (and were really drunk), why not explore more with them? They sound like they arent pushy and are going at your pace already.

 

If there are other reasons though that you do not want this couple around, then possibly look for someone else.

 

Life is short. Enjoy it.

 

He's fun to hang out with but my wife don't want a threesome with him. We were having fun that night and all had a few too many. Besides, he's all for a threesome with the two girls and wouldn't want me involved anyway.

 

We both agreed that it would most likely be a stranger. We have another friend who we played strip poker with once. My wife thinks he's great but she says he's too small. She said if she's going to do it she's rather try it with a larger guy.

 

For some reason, my fantasy also involves a guy larger than myself. It don't have to be but that would be ideal.