Well, now we know... they are...lol

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

It seems like more and more often lately we are finding out that friends (or people we know) in the vanilla world are swingers too. In the last 2 years....

 

1. Saw posts on a Yahoo Group that led me to find out that two different friends of mine were hitting up one of the local swinger clubs. One of the clubs happened to be the one we go to, so I figured I should let the friend know (before we ran into each other).

 

2. Had a friend call me a few months ago and outright ask me. Why? Oh because she and her gf had signed up on SLS and found our profile. "I always thought you guys were", she said.

 

3. Got a message on FB from a guy I went to HS with about how they'd seen us on "the other site" and hadn't ever contacted us. But, now that we'd friended each other on FB I guess he figured he should tell me. I never would have recognized him on SLS until I saw his FB picture (people change a lot).

 

4. Today, I get a message on FB from the male half of a couple we've hung out with a couple of times. The first time we met them I told Pet I thought they "looked familiar" and wondered if they were swingers. Today I get a message from the husband telling me "we've dropped our account on SLS, just thought I should let you know". Um... well geez, I never knew you had one, but I do now...lol.

 

 

And, I very well may be missing one, ya never know. I'm starting to think that if you think they might be swingers.... they probably are.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Just remembered, there's more to the story on #4.

 

I went to a housewares party at their house that the wife threw. Before leaving, the lady doing the party went outside with me and quietly said "we know each other". I'd been thinking she looked familiar and the way she said it let me know exactly how we knew each other. From the club that we used to go to.

 

I'm putting 2 and 2 together and I think I know who this couple WAS on SLS.

[sweet_tna 680]

It seems the world gets smaller every day. Sometimes, it's a good thing.

 

=)

[Fundamental Law 2,909]

The world is changing in many dimensions. Sexuality is one of them. Prudence dictates keeping the LS and vanilla worlds separate unless it is obvious and inevitable that they merge, and keeping those merge points (meaning you know people in their LS and in their other lives) discreet is essential.

 

Julie makes the important point. Swingers you know cannot be vanilla. However, some portion of our vanilla worlds--coworkers, merchants, others in the congregation, PTA members, the paralegal in the attorney's office, etc.--either swing or have thought about it.

 

Better to let them find you than go looking for them.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

We have run across many people that we know from other places work, school, PTA etc... If we find them first we always send a note, if it's on a lifestyle site and if it's in person at an event we try and approach them right away. We have found that this is the best way to avoid the awkwardness, getting it out in the open and making sure everyone is OK with it. Besides it's kinda fun sharing a wink at vanilla functions.

[HappyCpl 89]

Mrs. H and I have done a pretty good job of keeping the "other us" private, but it's only a matter of time before we run into someone we know in the real world. We've been living in the same city for a long time, we both went to school here, raised our family here, we have rather distinctive names and appearances, etc.

 

 

I tell you what, though. Our suburban community is a veritable hotbed(no pun intended)of swinger-ness! There are several SLS members who have or community as their location, and a trip to the local Publix and Kroger grocery stores sets off our 'radar' every time.

[LFM2 1,482]

Not too long ago, Dave was on a site, and noticed that there was a new couple in the town that we used to live in. I got a glimpse of what he was seeing and told him I knew that guy!! Turns out I worked with him for several years and even though he'd divorced and is now in this new relationship, he's just as hawt!!

 

For a few years, I've fantasized what it would be like to fuck this man. I told Dave that I thought he was so sexy and so good looking, I'd love to just tie him up and screw him silly. Well, now that he's in the LS, it holds no interest for me. Yep, he's still sexy, still got an incredible face and a great personality, but now that I know him personally, know him in the LS, we'd just have to stay friends.

 

Aaaaah.... fantasies. He and his new GF will just be friends. Maybe he'll show up at a M&G and I can watch his eyes as he sees us walk through the door. SNAP! He's outted! But then again, I don't think he'd care.

 

Did I totally go off track here or what?

[bbarnsworth 2,653]

We haven't found any of our vanilla acquaintances to be in the lifestyle. But, just based on odds alone we know at least a few of them are. My wife is really hoping one couple in particular is but we have no reason to believe they are.

 

We do have a vanilla friend who openly discussed getting into the lifestyle with us. We'd already gotten into the lifestyle by then, so we let him know we were, and offered him a bunch of advice. He was absolutely floored we were swingers

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Now I'm beginning to think we should be asking who's not in the lifestyle. Discovering the fact about regular friends has happened twice to us; once "they" recognized us at a swingers' Web site; the other time, we bumped into people at a private party. It's really just a matter of time before it happens.

[MN Tom 251]

We havent come across any friends or close neighbors yet.

 

We did see this situation happen firsthand tonight though.

 

A friend of ours who works in a large office (400+ people) invited us to a pre party. They invited about 10 couples, and told us that we could bring a friend if we wanted.

 

One of the couples brought a friend, who happened to be a coworker of the host.

 

Coworker walked in the door, and the host started to laugh, and the coworker froze on the spot.

 

Later we find out that the host discovered the coworker on a local website about a week ago but didnt say anything. So the host wasnt too shocked, but the coworker was since this was her first knowledge.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

MN Tom said:

One of the couples brought a friend, who happened to be a coworker of the host.

 

Coworker walked in the door, and the host started to laugh, and the coworker froze on the spot.

 

Later we find out that the host discovered the coworker on a local website about a week ago but didn't say anything. So the host wasn't too shocked, but the coworker was since this was her first knowledge.

 

This is why we try and say hi to people that we know, as soon as we see that they are on a site or at an event. In know that we don't like to be surprised in that way and try and making others feel uncomfortable.

[sassycouple 15]

I never realized that there were so many swingers out there until we started. Now when I look back, I remember couples that were flirting with me and wanted to meet. It all went over my head. Now that I know the looks, ect.. I missed out on alot of fun....

[Tncuple 21]

A few years ago wifey and I visited a swing club in the city we used to live in, we had never been there when we lived in the area and have moved 500 miles away and thought it would be fun to visit a new club while we were on vacation. Anyway this was an on-premise club and was very full. We were having a good time getting into the fun, we were on the dance floor with several topless women (wifey too), I bumped into someone pretty hard and turned to apologize and was shocked to be face to face with my topless cousin. She was speechless and ran off the dance floor and disappeared for a while. She is about 5 years older than me and lived with my family for about a year until she got married.

 

Wifey and I sat for a while and talked about it for a bit, just as we were getting ready to leave she and her husband came out and sat with us for a few minutes.

 

She said she ran off because she was embarrassed but finally realized we were there for the same reason.

 

I hadn't seen her for several years and I have to say it was really good to see her . It seems they come to this club quite often and had never ran into anyone they knew.

[Brian and Jo 344]

This has happened to us a few times. In two cases the female half of the couple was a colleague of Brian's in a large government department. We ran into them at meet and greet parties at a local swing club. In a third case we were contacted by a couple on SLS. It turned out that they were fellow members of our golf club. We subsequently played with all three couples a few times while still maintaining our non-swinger contact with them. It made us think that swinging may be a more widespread activity than we originally thought.

 

We are nudists as well as swingers and in several cases friends we made at our nudist club turned out to be swingers too. That perhaps is not so surprising.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

It just happened again.

 

I just got a message on FB from someone who used to be on my friends list (I think we met once, then he posted something completely stupid so I removed him). The message said:

 

"Looks like we are planning to be at the same event this weekend. We were friends on the Facebook at one time. Didn't want any strangeness from seeing different social circles overlapping."

 

Given that we met through a vanilla social group that I sometimes still interact with, my first thought was "what did I sign up for this weekend". Then I realized the only thing we are signed up for this weekend is our favorite swinger party.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I just got a message on FB from someone who used to be on my friends list (I think we met once, then he posted something completely stupid so I removed him).

 

That must have been some seriously stupid posting.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

JustAskJulie said:

Given that we met through a vanilla social group that I sometimes still interact with, my first thought was "what did I sign up for this weekend". Then I realized the only thing we are signed up for this weekend is our favorite swinger party.

 

It got more interesting after we did some digging to try to figure out who they are (they being him and his gf). Pet and I were both going through the profiles signed up for this weekends party trying to narrow it down when he came across the profile for a couple that used to be a single female. About 2 years ago (almost exactly) we were at a party and met a single female. Both Pet and the male half of another couple we were there with were into the SF (and she into them). She messaged us on SLS afterwards. Pet saw this and noted that the SF was now listed as a couple. Since we had the message history, we had her name. Putting 2 and 2 together, we figured out it was also the name of this guy's GF. So, yeah, we've met his GF.

 

I briefly considered commenting back to him something to this affect "oh yeah, I think we met your gf a couple of years ago". Since they use the same profile now it's not like he doesn't already know this or at least have access to know this. In the end, I decided to leave it alone. While we might have been interested in her, I'm not remotely interested in him, so I'd just as soon leave communications at pleasantries only.