SsHubby 56 Posted April 6, 2011 Ok so we experienced our first full MFM this past Sunday. OK, no problem. EXCEPT our kids thought we were going to see a movie. Ok, that works. We did get into a movie theater, our "friend" was happy to come along. Well due to the distraction and increasingly lower and lower ability to be discreet, we left about 20-30 minutes in. Not a subtle exit to see 1 guy then my wife then me walking out of a theater. Ok so fast forward to tonight. Our daughter goes to see the same movie. Well I had decided to say we changed our mind about the movie. So when our daughter just got home, that's what I said, only to have my wife go "Yes, we did, I told her how it made me jump." The movie did make her jump when she was watching it! So then there had to be some serious tap dancing about how I couldn't concentrate because of her jumping. So we left. :lol: Wow, that is too funny!:lol: Quote Share this post Link to post
Coupleerotic22 1,419 Posted April 6, 2011 The best cover story for us is always the truth, not the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but the truth none the less. We always tell people that we need some "us" time, or we are going to dinner or meeting friends for drinks, etc. All of which is true. We do not get into the details and never have to remember a cover story. Makes life much more simple. Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 6, 2011 The best cover story for us is always the truth, not the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but the truth none the less. We always tell people that we need some "us" time, or we are going to dinner or meeting friends for drinks, etc. All of which is true. We do not get into the details and never have to remember a cover story. Makes life much more simple. Well here is where our problem came from. My wife & I had planned to go out on a date. Well she was chatting on IM with a friend who she had been wanting to meet, so she asked if she could invite him, I said, yes. It was "last minute" so we had already told the kids about the movie plans and didn't think to change that before we left. And we DID go the movie but right before we left, I realized that we had no clue what was going on, one lady was getting caught staring in our direction a lot, so we left. So the movie was the plan, it just didn't work. Good advice, we will go "simple" next time. No details. Quote Share this post Link to post
ALilOEverything 901 Posted April 6, 2011 I used to come up with more specific cover stories but ran into similar problems. Now that I'm more vague I still get into trouble. A couple months ago my mom stopped over and asked what we were doing for the weekend. Since my mom knows I'm always one to give details and I was being vague she turned to my husband and said "she's being awfully vague, so what are you guys REALLY doing". He looked at her stunned but said "that's because she doesn't know, it's a surprise for her and I don't want her to know yet". I don't think she bought it but at least quit asking questions. Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 6, 2011 I used to come up with more specific cover stories but ran into similar problems. Now that I'm more vague I still get into trouble. A couple months ago my mom stopped over and asked what we were doing for the weekend. Since my mom knows I'm always one to give details and I was being vague she turned to my husband and said "she's being awfully vague, so what are you guys REALLY doing". He looked at her stunned but said "that's because she doesn't know, it's a surprise for her and I don't want her to know yet". I don't think she bought it but at least quit asking questions. That's too funny. Sounds like my mom but my parents are off RVing it far, far away! Our entry into this lifestyle comes shortly after we started having an older child at home all the time. We have hers, mine & ours and one of hers turned 18 recently and ended her visitation rotation and by coincidence we started the lifestyle, so it is a learning curve. In Sept this one heads to college and so we lose an easy sitter but we gain some weekends we could actually host if we choose to. I figure by then we will be able to make the decision knowledgeably. Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,726 Posted April 6, 2011 We don't have children, but do have most of our parents living not too far away. Since the four of us in our poly relationship are known to the parents as friends, it's not too unusual for us to be together, at each other's places, even when hubby or I is in public (always acting very properly) with our respective lover. My parents are to the point where they know it's not unusual because of work scheduling reasons for me to join Clair and hubby after they have have arrived together some place. I make a point of saying things like that have or will happen in front of the parents. Our two rules are: stick to the truth and only hide the details, and do not give a key to anyone (i.e. parents) you do not want walking in on you. We have garage door openers for the other's places to zip in the car for the times when it would be improper (in a vanilla way) such as when the other spouse is out of town and someone is spending the night. My mom has expressed worry and concern that hubby will become angry if he ever finds out that my bf Red and I used to be "sexual." I just tell her not to worry. Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 6, 2011 That's ok, I lie poorly anyways. Most of the time when I have tried, people see right through me. Honestly, my wife and I have fooled around in movies for years, this same theater for over 10 years. I guess being new I never realized the additional person in the mix would lead to as much distraction as it did. Live & learn. My wife & I are only into the MFM right now and even as things progress we have decided to stick with togetherness in this lifestyle. You never know what the future will bring. I never thought we would be here. But right now, here seems to be a pretty cool place to be. We still have 4 out of 6 kids at home. Will be 3 of 6 by Sept and thank goodness the next youngest is of babysitting age too. Quote Share this post Link to post
djjwp 129 Posted April 6, 2011 Keep it simple ...silly. KISS principle. We never give details about what we are doing, just a cell phone number. Quote Share this post Link to post
celtic239 297 Posted April 7, 2011 Most of our play time is when we are on vacation in Florida. Last year I told my kids we were visiting the Orlando area to look at real estate and visit Univeral Studios. In fact we went to a three day swinger's party. We did get to Universal and I took a ton of pictures in the four hours we were there and made sure we hit a few bars and restaurants to make the trip "legit". Quote Share this post Link to post
JustAskJulie 2,595 Posted April 7, 2011 I just gotta ask - What was the movie? Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 7, 2011 I just gotta ask - What was the movie? Insidious. Since it was $10 a ticket, I'm not sure it was the wisest use of money but not only was the play time worth the money, the look on the face of the woman about 7 seats over was priceless when I caught her staring. Quote Share this post Link to post
TheSwingerSet 205 Posted April 7, 2011 We go with the KISS principle as well, A little easier for us because we do go to town over night when we just want to get away together too, so staying away all night is normal for us. We just tell the grandparents that we are going out for some us time. K Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 7, 2011 Well I think that since we have iPhones, the 2 oldest kids have iPhones that "We are going out, contact us if you need us." will be our route. Can't get much more simple than that. Quote Share this post Link to post
TheSwingerSet 205 Posted April 7, 2011 Well I think that since we have iPhones, the 2 oldest kids have iPhones that "We are going out, contact us if you need us." will be our route. Can't get much more simple than that. Thats what we do as well, But we add that if they call, someone better be bleeding, or on the way to the hospital. K Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 7, 2011 Thats what we do as well, But we add that if they call, someone better be bleeding, or on the way to the hospital. K Yea, I've told them that before when we have gone out on our vanilla dates. Quote Share this post Link to post
fun4Ds 1,098 Posted April 7, 2011 Just want to say thanks for sharing this It brings back the days of mischief and secrets from our family. Our kids, were way to snoopy in our lives. Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 7, 2011 Just want to say thanks for sharing this It brings back the days of mischief and secrets from our family. Our kids, were way to snoopy in our lives. Our kids aren't that interested in our lives like that. But we still have kids in the ages of 18, 14, 8, & 2 at home. and while we have gone out a lot and they are used to it, the "dates" this past weekend had us out later then any other time and they have the potential to be even later. Our oldest about fall out of her chair when I told her that we were going out last Friday and that all we knew for sure is that we would be home in time to get her to a 10am nail appointment on Saturday morning. She is just convinced we are having a mid-life crisis. :lol: Quote Share this post Link to post
sweet_tna 680 Posted April 7, 2011 LOL, I have to laugh at that story! We really haven't had issues with the kids questioning our whereabouts, since we just say, "We're going out with friends." Mr. Sweet's mom knows not to call unless it's something serious, and she doesn't bother to ask questions, either. Of course, once our kids get older, things might get more challenging . . . =) Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 7, 2011 Well having older children has taken care of the babysitter problem. Allows more flexibility in our schedules and we are going to take advantage of it big time until the oldest head to college in the fall. Quote Share this post Link to post
two4youinswva 3,068 Posted April 7, 2011 Since my mom knows I'm always one to give details and I was being vague she turned to my husband and said "she's being awfully vague, so what are you guys REALLY doing". You know, I've never thought about that being an issue, because I've been naturally vague my entire life. I guess that would be tougher to get away with for someone that usually gives details on things. Thanks for sharing that perspective. Our general correspondence with others: "Where are you going?" -"Out". "When will you be back?" -"Later" Quote Share this post Link to post
SsHubby 56 Posted April 8, 2011 We have always given a heads up where we are going to. And where we have met the 2 guys is the same place we have been going our entire relationship. It's a great place with a lot to do. My wife & I had the first date of our entire relationship at this place. What has changed is the fact that we got home about 2-3 hours later than we ever have and it could get later if we actually get into a "marathon" situation where the sex repeats. Our first time was just a once around the block. I'm sure it will work itself out as we go along. Quote Share this post Link to post
MN Tom 251 Posted April 10, 2011 We try to spread the babysitting out a bit to defray some of the potential questions. Our families are both highly involved (we see most of them weekly) and inquisitive, so they ask where we are going whenever we use them for sitters (and at other times). So, we mainly use them for overnight sitting about once every other month. Aside from that we have a handful of regular sitters for the weekend night activities, and we try to use different ones every other weekend or so. Quote Share this post Link to post
Dont.Stop 339 Posted April 11, 2011 Funny story, I must agree. We have a 15 year old & and adult child at home, plus 2 away at college. When we head back to the Loft this weekend we'll just be going "to a party". That whole bit about coming home at 4 am.. well, no one is up anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post