Friends among swingers, swingers among friends

[Fundamental Law 2,940]

Two observations...

 

1. People we have met through websites such as SLS are perhaps a bit friendlier than those we have met otherwise--through hobbies, workplace, etc.

 

2. When something bad happens to friends who simply happen to be swingers (for example, we know two different couples [not playmates] who recently received news of serious medical conditions) the offers to help from other swingers of their ken was nearly instantaneous and extraordinarily generous.

 

Acknowledging the common wisdom of keeping playmates and friendships separate, does anyone else have the impression that couples who swing approach other types of relationships a little more warmly than those who do not?

[TheSwingerSet 205]

We don't subscribe to the theory of keeping swinger Friends at a distance, most of our close friends are swingers, we do all kinds of vanilla activities with them even if we don't "play" with them. So of course if one of them has a problem, medical or otherwise we offer to help in any way we can. A few years ago a friend of ours lost his job and his company vehicle went with it. So we lent them a car that we had that we weren't using.

We helped another "friend" insulate and drywall their new addition. What I am trying to say is that we are more than willing to help out our swinger friends as much as we would do with any type of friend.

 

We really don't understand those who keep "play" friends at a distance. Friends are friends no matter what circumstance we meet them under.

 

K

[Dont.Stop 339]

I get the bit about you can make friends out of swingers, but not swingers out of friends (though it was some friends that kinda brought us into the LS, but we were considering it anyway).

 

I would personally enjoy swinging with someone I knew, and conversely would love to know the people I swing with (we're still very new to this, so I use the word "would"). Maybe I'm just showing my age.

 

Mrs. feels the same way, but says she, "Ain't nothing wrong with a hit-n-run." And there's not. But sex is more enjoyable for me with a connection. Naturally, don't go falling in love with your swinging friends.

 

I know two women who are best friends and they swap husbands. More power to ya! Heck, I'd enjoy a swap with my wife's best friend. Wife is not so enamored with her BF's hubby. Ah well.

 

The only problem I could see is if your LS friends are not as discreet as you are. Or vice-versa.

[exploringRM 305]

Both my wife and I have had some serious medical situations in the past year and a half. Her a 4 level cervical fusion after bruising her spinal cord, she recovered very well. And me colon cancer surgery a week ago (of which I just found out about 3 weeks ago). The outpouring of concern and support from our swing friends in both cases was amazing. Not that our family, co-workers and vanilla friends did not do the same, but in many ways we are closer to our swing friends than anyone else. 3 l/s couples even came to visit me at the hospital which made my wife turn red, lol.

[Fundamental Law 2,940]

And me colon cancer surgery a week ago (of which I just found out about 3 weeks ago). The outpouring of concern and support from our swing friends in both cases was amazing. Not that our family, co-workers and vanilla friends did not do the same, but in many ways we are closer to our swing friends than anyone else. 3 l/s couples even came to visit me at the hospital which made my wife turn red, lol.

 

Exploring...glad you came through surgery smoothly. Best of luck.

[dr_pepper 25]

Not to overstate the obvious, but I would think that the very nature of LS relationships would bring about rather close friendships in many, if not most cases. At least in my mind, I need some kind of connection with my partner to have an intimate relationship, and that would bring about a friendship, if we weren't friends before hand.

[Emmywammy 45]

I agree with the OP. I also notice that open minded individuals in regard to anything, not just sex, seem to be more intelligent than those unwilling to experiment.

 

I've honestly never met a brilliant homophobe. Internet hate-mongers usually seem to be grammatically challenged.

[SsHubby 56]

We would very much like to be lucky enough for these types of friendships to form.

[padoc 1,704]

We have found that our swinger friends are a lot more fun, a lot more understanding and much more reliable in many ways than vanilla or workplace friends or even family. We have concluded that a big reason is that we are more intimate (go figure) with our swinger friends.

[Chicup 43]

Personally over the years, while swinger friends are more 'fun' and less guarded than vanilla ones, I have found swingers to be just as flakey, and unpredictable as vanilla ones, perhaps more so.

[LFM2 1,484]

I have to agree with Chicup. Maybe it's just my area, but going through a serious medical illness, I didn't notice a difference between my vanilla peeps and our LS friends.

[Lascivious L&L 868]

I think it has more to do with how you form friendships. The more open you are to real connection, the more likely your friendships are going to be deep, whether they are vanilla or swingers. If you keep a wall between yourself and those you swing with, the friendships won't be as close.

 

In a like manner whether you form intimate and connected vanilla friendships determines the depth of those friendships. Some people call friends anyone they have more than a passing acquaintance with. We tend to use the word friend for those who know us deeply, so we don't have that many friends, vanilla or lifestyle.

[JustAskJulie 2,597]

I think it's because we can be so open with our swinger friends that allows us to be more open and them in return when things happen. Oddly, it's more likely to be my vanilla friends I keep at a distance because there is so much of me that I don't feel like I can share. I often end up being that person who listens to my friends but rarely shares much. Whereas with those friends who know about my swinging I can be completely open without worries.