TO BI or not to BI is that the question???

[EbonynJon 16]

Hi Everyone,

 

I just wanted to say that I enjoy reading this board and feel the compassion that is shared by fellow members of this site.

 

I am new at this, so I am not sure if this questions has been posted.

 

If I partake in sexually encounter with a woman, soley for the purpose of pleasing my husband, Am I bi-curious or something else?

 

My husband and I have been swinging for several years now and just this year we had our first experience with a FMF 3some.

 

Sometime after this took place I was helping my husband pack, for a business trip out of town for a couple of Months, and in our conversations about our encounter he said to me" It's ok to invite (third person) over to stay with you".

 

I was kinda puzzled with is statment, since our encounter was soley for his pleasure, I enjoyed see him get so aroused, and know I would do it again...

 

and now just wonder if I am considered bi-curious or a bi-faker

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Sounds like "bi-faker" would be more appropriate since from the way you put it you aren't interested in women at all. Personally, I can't see doing something to that extent just to please your husband tho which makes me wonder.

 

Are you attracted to women at all?

Do you enjoy seeing women together in pornos?

Did you reciprocate (go down on the other woman)?

 

I would say that answering yes to any of these makes you at least bi-curious.

[anandjeff2 15]

I think you have to consider Julie's questions but also to ask yourself if you enjoyed your encounter personally with the other woman. If you did it soleyl for your husbands sake and have no interest otherwise then you are straight perfoming Bi for hubbys satisfaction. If you enjoyed any part of it or think about it with pleasure then you have to examine yourself a little closer and ask yourself why you enjoyed it. You might be Bi but have not faced that tendency in yourself. I myself knew I was Bi years ago but it wasnt exactly something you bring up at the dinner table. If I had known years ago my husband would have accepted it then things would have been very different..however I dont think he was ready to know before the present. It is hard for many women to accept that they are Bi since society is very negative about it..but if you can be honest with yourself about sexual matters then you can probably be honest about your own sexuality with yourself

 

An

[asr999 15]

OK, I know this is going to sound "bi-screwed" to the feminist out there but...

 

I don't care what the mans background is.... He gets off thinking about his woman with another woman.

 

And another dumb thing.... all woman are bi bi... not curuios.... If I met a woman that hasn't entertained the idea of going down on another woman...well, she must be a standin for the real thing.

 

Women offer so much to the world, and most men are greatful for each and every time they get to enjoy a womans offerings. But to think that women were placed here for man and man alone, .... not on our movies.

 

Originally posted by anandjeff2:

I think you have to consider Julie's questions but also to ask yourself if you enjoyed your encounter personally with the other woman. If you did it soleyl for your husbands sake and have no interest otherwise then you are straight perfoming Bi for hubbys satisfaction. If you enjoyed any part of it or think about it with pleasure then you have to examine yourself a little closer and ask yourself why you enjoyed it. You might be Bi but have not faced that tendency in yourself. I myself knew I was Bi years ago but it wasnt exactly something you bring up at the dinner table. If I had known years ago my husband would have accepted it then things would have been very different..however I dont think he was ready to know before the present. It is hard for many women to accept that they are Bi since society is very negative about it..but if you can be honest with yourself about sexual matters then you can probably be honest about your own sexuality with yourself

 

An

 

 

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

We say, that I'm bi-"SOMEtimes". Does that count as bi-"screwed"? *lol*

 

IF/WHEN it happens (the chemistry has to be right), I enjoy going down on my female partner(s) more than being on the receiving end from another female. I prefer hubby between my legs, giving me oral/penetration pleasures ANY day!

 

Not all the time, that we get together with our couple-friends, that we have any bi-experiences at all. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don't, we just stick to the male-female play sessions most of the time.

 

I don't dream & drool over another woman, wanting her body, wanting to feel her up, licking her all over, needing to nibble on her nipples, etc...You know what I mean guys. *lol* I find a male to be more attractive and appealing to me than a woman does for me. Again, it's that chemistry thing that has to be there, or it won't work for me.

 

But when the chemistry is there between the two of us (females), a woman's body is SO sensual, passionate & sexy, the way she moves, the pleasures she seeks, her smell, the taste, the experience of her in the moment of passion, I'll be more than happy to make it happen for her, in the sense of erotic pleasures. Now you REALLY know what I'm talking about, huh guys?

 

ANYway....Just thought I'd add my 2 cents in! More like $1.50. *lol*

 

 

Wife of CyberMWCouple

[EbonynJon 16]

Ok...to all that have wondered, if I enjoyed it or not (with a sly smile). I don't kiss and tell..lol

 

I had no problem with fulfilling my husbands fantasy, in fact I think want turned me on more than ever was the look on the face of my man. I don't have any hang-ups about women at all. I love admiring and being admired by other woman so actually Julie may have misunderstood my question.

 

What I was trying to say, is quoted frankly very well by the wife of canadianmwcouple." I don't dream & drool over another woman, wanting her body, wanting to feel her up, licking her all over, needing to nibble on her nipples, etc...".

 

The intimacy play with a woman is very nice in the moment, however it is not something I think I need to do on my own.

[Stratecpl 19]

Hi... well you just met your first standin for the real thing...Me!!! Ain't no way in hell I have or ever would consider sex with another woman!!! This myth that "ALL women are bi...never ceases to amaze me or it never ceases to piss me off!"

 

Originally posted by asr999:

And another dumb thing.... all woman are bi bi... not curuios.... If I met a woman that hasn't entertained the idea of going down on another woman...well, she must be a standin for the real thing.

 

Connie..(standin and damn proud of it too!)

My motto..."Dick's..Not chicks!"

 

 

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Originally posted by asr999:

And another dumb thing.... all woman are bi bi... not curious.... If I met a woman that hasn't entertained the idea of going down on another woman...well, she must be a standing for the real thing.

 

The difference between bi & bi-curious is basically whether or not you have acted on your thoughts/ desires yet. As for every woman being bi? I don't think so, that's quite a stretch.

 

Sounds like a line a woman would use - "ah come on, you're bi you just don't know it yet."

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Originally posted by EbonynJon:

I love admiring and being admired by other woman so actually Julie may have misunderstood my question.

 

What I was trying to say, is quoted frankly very well by the wife of canadianmwcouple." I don't dream & drool over another woman, wanting her body, wanting to feel her up, licking her all over, needing to nibble on her nipples, etc...".

 

The intimacy play with a woman is very nice in the moment, however it is not something I think I need to do on my own.

 

I don't think you have to dream and drool over another woman to be bi. It pretty much comes down to did you enjoy it and are you attracted to other woman (do you find them physically attractive)? Maybe it's not on the same level as you do men and maybe you are more picky (I know that's how it is for me).. but when it comes down to the only way I'd say you are a bi-faker (as you put it) is if you are doing this solely for your hubby's pleasure.

 

I have sex with a lot of guys as much or more because I know my hubby enjoys watching it, but that doesn't mean I like guys any less.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by EbonynJon:

What I was trying to say, is quoted frankly very well by the wife of canadianmwcouple." I don't dream & drool over another woman, wanting her body, wanting to feel her up, licking her all over, needing to nibble on her nipples, etc...".

 

 

Ahh, don't I wish.

 

Actually, you're getting the wives mixed up. I believe you were referring to the better half of CyberMWCouple, not us, CanadianCouple.

 

Now, if I ever DID hear my wife speak those magic words "licking her all over, nipple to nipple"...

[Stratecpl 19]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

Sounds like a line a woman would use - "ah come on, you're bi you just don't know it yet."

 

You would not believe how many times I have heard that line!!!! LOL now you see why I get so riled up over this subject! LOL

[EbonynJon 16]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

I have sex with a lot of guys as much or more because I know my hubby enjoys watching it, but that doesn't mean I like guys any less.[/url]

 

I don't feel I like woman any less, however I don't fee compelled to seek sexual favors from them outside of our play together. Just as I would not want to with another man.

 

It's more exciting, and sexual when we are together. I guess I am some what of an exhibitionist for him when it comes down to pleasing him...

I am not saying that I am putting my on pleasure aside to please him, because again what makes him lose control is what turns me on...lol YOU GOTTA know what I mean... I LOVE to keep him in awe, and wondering what I will pull out of my magic hat this time...lol.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple:

Now, if I ever DID hear my wife speak those magic words "licking her all over, nipple to nipple"...

 

Now you have just met your second, standing for the real thing lady. As I told Dan, dream honey because it's NEVER happening. I tell Dan, you try it and I'll consider it. You see I tell him this only because I know I'll NEVER have to consider it.

 

Please don't get me wrong. If that is what you like, more power to you. Me personally it is a complete turn-off.

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Connie,

 

Better be careful, some dicks ARE chicks! And some chicks HAVE dicks too! *lol*

 

Which reminds me of a g/f of mine years ago, her...Nevermind, I'll save this one for maybe another forum!

[Stratecpl 19]

Well, concerning the BI issues at hand....

 

OK, I'm one of (probably) the last STRAIGHT men left on Earth who does not enjoy seeing two women together. OK, if you want to throw gasoline on the fire, be my guest. But I do not have any need or want to see two women together. I fantasize about seeing my wife with other men. She, on the other hand, fantasizes about seeing me with other women. Sounds hard to believe??? Maybe so, this day and age. I mean, is there anything WRONG with doing what NATURE actually intended for us to do???

 

I read on another thread that all women are BI-BI whether they know it yet or not. Really???

 

WRONG. No way, man. Not in MY house, anyhow.

 

If you other men enjoy seeing two women together, that's fine with me and my wife. You'll just never play with us, is all.

 

And you women who really, truly enjoy the company of other women, that's just fine too. To each their own, you know.... But if you really do NOT enjoy it but do so just to please your husband, then look who's being controlled. I thought women these days tried to take more control over their own lives, rather than have some guy dictating their every move to them. Why not insist on hubby having intimate sex with another MAN?? I'm sure you'll get some definite answers there, FAST, saying that it's DIFFERENT!!!

 

But is it REALLY different? I ask you. There are a lot of intelligent folks on here, whose opinions I respect very much. But what about it, folks? Is the "Double Standard" fair or what???

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

I think, the "double standard" is fair, only if one partner or the other does NOT want to engage in any bi-experiences, but is being "pushed" into it for the other's sexual satisfaction.

 

Now on the other hand, if the one partner doesn't mind having bi-experiences SOMEtimes, and NOT just to sexually arouse/satisfy his/her partner, then there is no need for that "double standard" issue, and especially if there's respect between the two partners, and respecting each others "limits", so to say.

 

Just my opinion...

[Stratecpl 19]

CyberMWCouple,

 

Thank you, your opinion is one that I hold in high esteem. Sometimes I guess we just have to speak our mind. Sorry to rant!!

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

 

[anandjeff2 15]

"Scary to say, but there are marriages/relationships out there that are like this, where the females feel the need for their male partners to "take control" of their sex life, etc. in this manner. "

posted by CyberMWCouple

 

When we began looking for partners we found a few couples where the wives do Bi for their husbands satisfaction. Then there are the ones who advertise as Bi who really arent they just find that is a way to reel in newcomers and try to get a piece before they get any expereince..bascially try to push them into a relationship they dont want..there are some couples out there where the women are truly Bi and they only want to explore that region, with their husbands in the background. They usually will soft swing with the couple with intercourse but all playing is between the girls..we have met several couples like this who have all met one particular couple in our region that pursue this type opnly to try to force the couples into doing full swap with them. Not a pleasant couple to be around. Then there are women like Stratecpl and Cyber that are straight and have no desire and they are told they just dont know what they ar emissing..I think that anyone who fails to consider the feelings of other swingers are not looking for the right fit but just a "wham bam thank you mam" encounter. Not my cuppa tea nor my hubbys.. you have to accept people in this lifestyle as they are..I would never ask a woman I knew was straight to consider a Bi encounter it just isn't polite...VBG

 

An

[Stratecpl 19]

An,

 

Thank you, you are so right. We have our standards and no one is going to force us to do ANYTHING!! If my wife decides to do something, it's her call, not mine. After all, we all have our own minds, our own likes and dislikes. That's what (to me) is so exciting!! And you're correct, a couple where one is trying to force the other's hand is not a pleasant couple to be around. It's not our cup of tea, either!

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Originally posted by Stratecpl:

CyberMWCouple,

 

Thank you, your opinion is one that I hold in high esteem. Sometimes I guess we just have to speak our mind. Sorry to rant!!

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

 

Thank YOU! And you're welcome!

 

And you weren't "ranting", just voicing your opinion, that's all...

 

anandjeff2....We've never experienced the bad experiences you and some of the other couples here have experienced (so far) in the lifestyle. I guess it's because, we take our time and get to know one another, even before we actually meet them in person. Knowing the right questions to ask, waiting to hear the right responses, the intelligence in their syntax, humor, everything we're looking for in a "friend".

 

And if they don't "fit" our criteria, then it's "friends only", and nothing more. And if they don't like what they hear, where we stand with OUR rules of the "game", then by all means, don't let the door hit your behind on the way out!

 

We are VERY selective, and when we're reading all the responses from our ad(s), we weed the "I don't think so's" out REAL fast from the get-go! And the "keepers", we build on friendship first, and see where that may lead us.

 

So you see, we do "accept people in this lifestyle as they are. And we too would never ask a woman we knew was straight to consider a Bi encounter, because we too, believe that it just isn't polite!"

 

We just keep looking for the ones who ARE right for us, not TRY to change anyone and their beliefs, etc.! Where's the FUN in that?! *lol*

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by anandjeff2:

there are some couples out there where the women are truly Bi ...

 

Ann, the couple we swung with over several months had a woman who was truly bi. I mean, BIG time. She made no bones about that fact, and went on to describe some pretty intense scenes she's been involved with over the years, swinging with other couples with bi ladies, and bi ladies alone. (This is a couple who will swing separately).

 

We made it abundantly clear Janette (my wife) was straight as an arrow, and would never engage in sex with her. The other woman respected that, save for one very benign carress on Janette's calf during our first session. She was reminded once, and never again tried anything, but her desire for my wife was very evident throughout our relationship. It even became sort of a running joke, meant good-naturedly.

 

Dan

 

 

[EbonynJon 16]

Originally posted by Stratecpl:

Well, concerning the BI issues at hand....

 

But if you really do NOT enjoy it but do so just to please your husband, then look who's being controlled. I thought women these days tried to take more control over their own lives, rather than have some guy dictating their every move to them. Stratecpl

 

Actually Stratecpl it's my husband having control over me, not just any guy...Yep a lot of DICK control going on here!!!...lol

 

Honestly folks, before we got married I/we were a straight and arrow kinda people. Brought up in strong religious households and sexually oppressed by the stereotypes of the law and order of doctrine law. Sex was taught by our parents to be purely for procreation purposes only.

 

I love my husband, mainly because of his decision to be honest about what turns him on. He does not demand that I fulfill his fantasies, he shares them with me. Because of my background, sometimes I feel naive when it comes to the issue of sex.

 

He had more experienced (without parents consent...don't tell them!)than I did, so I appreciate our uninhibited attitudes towards one another. And the fact that he trust me enough to tell me what he thinks he would enjoy.

 

Hell, I'm not saying I give into every whim...If he asked to brand my ass, I don't think I would like that very much...lol

 

Truth is, I am in control to make the final decision.

[LaylaSusanne 15]

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:

We say, that I'm bi-"SOMEtimes". Does that count as bi-"screwed"? *lol*

 

I don't dream & drool over another woman, wanting her body, wanting to feel her up, licking her all over, needing to nibble on her nipples, etc...You know what I mean guys. *lol* I find a male to be more attractive and appealing to me than a woman does for me. Again, it's that chemistry thing that has to be there, or it won't work for me.

Wife of CyberMWCouple

 

 

Yeah, I guess Bi-SOMETIMES would fit me, too. My first experience WAS purely for hubby's sake, as a birthday present. But I had been attracted to CERTAIN women, and had been thinking about it for a while. That experience was not that great (the "polyamory" girl) because SHE wasn't really bi. It was like the blind leading the blinder.

 

For a while, I decided I must not really be bi, and was going to forget about it. But one particular experience kept creeping into my mind, and my fantasies. And I started REALLY noticing other women.

 

But also, for me, there has to be a LOT of chemistry there, and, I guess because I got "burned" so badly the first time, there also has to be a LOT of TRUST. I really take my time getting to know a woman.

 

I also PREFER men, and actually only enjoy Bi-activities if my hubby is there, too. Yes, a big part of it for me is how turned on it gets him. But it's something I enjoy, too, at times. And if I don't want to, I don't. It's that simple.

 

I also agree that NOT ALL WOMEN ARE BI. I think that is just a load of crap. I have heard that line over and over. To the point where I told hubby the next woman who said it to me was going to be treated like a MAN who gave me such a stupid line. (drink dumped on head, and told off in NO uncertain terms)

 

Just because, in my case, I may actually be Bi, (I still use Bi-Curious, because I'm still not sure) does NOT mean it's true for every woman.

 

In all honesty, I have only had Bi experiences with 2 other women besides "J", the first one. And I did enjoy them. And yes, hubby said he is willing to try it, too, in the interest of expanding his knowledge of himself and his sexuality. It's not something I ever would force, though. But I also see how he looks at certain men, and I think he's feeling that already.

 

Layla

 

 

[CindyB 20]

I sleep with a woman who is not bi or even bi-curious. Me.

[JessicaJamison 861]

On 6/27/2001 at 11:29 PM, EbonynJon said:

Hi Everyone,

 

I just wanted to say that I enjoy reading this board and feel the compassion that is shared by fellow members of this site.

 

I am new at this, so I am not sure if this questions has been posted.

 

If I partake in sexually encounter with a woman, soley for the purpose of pleasing my husband, Am I bi-curious or something else?

 

My husband and I have been swinging for several years now and just this year we had our first experience with a FMF 3some.

 

Sometime after this took place I was helping my husband pack, for a business trip out of town for a couple of Months, and in our conversations about our encounter he said to me" It's ok to invite (third person) over to stay with you".

 

I was kinda puzzled with is statment, since our encounter was soley for his pleasure, I enjoyed see him get so aroused, and know I would do it again...

 

and now just wonder if I am considered bi-curious or a bi-faker

I think its clear you are not Bisexual, but apparently your husband sincerely hopes you are.  No clue why men always hope we are all closet lesbians, that just haven't realized our insatiable thirst for pussy.    

[couplers 4,640]

On 11/24/2020 at 8:50 PM, JessicaJamison said:

No clue why men always hope we are all closet lesbians

Because men hope we part-time Lesbians will bring more pussy their way.  Whenever there is a question as to why men want or do something, the answer is almost always that they are hoping that it will result in being able to put their dick in a female.  The good part for us women is that they'll put up with just about anything (e.g. sloppy seconds) to get there.  I love my two guys and they genuinely love me, but that's the truth.