Contacted by a couple that is separated

[slevin 1,374]

It isn't a situation we need advice on, but we thought it might spark some interesting dicussion

 

We were recently contacted by a couple that are separated, but are still swinging together. They say that although they don't work in a relationship anymore, they are still highly sexually compatible. So they're continuing to swing together. We won't be meeting with them because that raises our warning flags too high. It's the first time we've come across a situation like that though.

 

Anyone else ever been contacted by a couple in that kind of situation? Ever played with them?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We won't be meeting with them because that raises our warning flags too high. It's the first time we've come across a situation like that though.

 

That would be our choice as well.

..and no, we've never heard of that one.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

We knew a couple that were divorced but still best friends and they swung as a couple. I don't recall ever playing with them as a couple but we did play with her as single.

[Gordo 618]

Never had that one but we did have a couple on AFF contact us. They were married.....each to someone else! And having an affair and trying to swing all without the other spouses knowing. A big NOOO!

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I have never seen what slevin mentions. I have not given it much thought, but my initial reaction would be to pass. But at least they are being honest and have a working relationship of some sort. Maybe we would consider it, I don't know, but passing seems like the most likely answer for us.

 

Gordo's situation is much more common. We have seen that one several times and have always passed. We don't give any credit for being "honest" with us, which is what they seem to expect, if they are not being honest with their spouses.

 

I got into a bit of a discussion with one of them on the topic. Mainly because we had chatted several times before we found out their situation. I told him we did not play with people that were cheating on their spouses. He could not believe we were not being more gracious to them since they had been honest with us.

 

I told him that they were being honest with us in the hope that it improved their chances of getting something they wanted, he was being dishonest with their spouses because they hoped to improve their chances of getting something they wanted. So I asked him, why shouldn't I expect him to lie to us at some point if it improved their chances of getting what they wanted. He had no answer.

[Ed & Bunny 160]

I wouldn't make a decision not to play based only on what Slevin describes. Let's face it, how often when we go to parties do we delve into anyone's full situation prior to playing? We see them, find attraction, have some light conversation around the loud dance music, then if attraction is mutual, head for the bedroom for some fun. Many of us may have already played with a couple like this, without even knowing it.

 

Now as for them being a couple we would want to be long term friends with benefits. That's an entirely different story. I do see us passing on that.

[LFM2 1,482]

How interesting. I guess I'm pretty much thinking back on my relationship with my ex. We were never sexually compatible nor would we be civil enough to one another to want to even be in the same room. I've always been impressed on couples, although split up, can still be amicable towards one another.

 

[ALilOEverything 901]

I do know a couple who still played together after they were seperated. He contacted us as a single and offered his ex if we would rather have a couple. They had single profiles and a couples profile. After a few months they decided to get back together and take a lifestyle break to work on their marriage. We bumped into them at a party before they were officially back together and I felt it wasn't anything I really wanted to be a part of, just in case.

[lotsoffun201 175]

It isn't a situation we need advice on, but we thought it might spark some interesting dicussion

 

We were recently contacted by a couple that are separated, but are still swinging together. They say that although they don't work in a relationship anymore, they are still highly sexually compatible. So they're continuing to swing together. We won't be meeting with them because that raises our warning flags too high. It's the first time we've come across a situation like that though.

 

Anyone else ever been contacted by a couple in that kind of situation? Ever played with them?

 

This happened to us too. We met a couple at a club who were in the process of divorcing but were still looking to go out together. They didn't tell us until the female got pretty sloppy drunk and he took her home. (nothing sexual happened at that point) When they were leaving he told the story. Unbelievably, he CAME BACK ALONE, after he dropped her off, and now wanted to get with us as a solo male. That lasted all of about 3 minutes before we told him to take a hike...The club owners also suggested it would be best he did not return to the club either. Funny thing is...the club is couples only but he figured since he was there as a couple originally, nobody would notice she wasn't around.

[MN Tom 251]

For us, this all depends on how the couple is. To be honest, at times I doubt you would know that a couple is divorced or not even married in the first place unless they brought it up.

 

Some people spend enough time together that you think they are married. We met a couple a few weeks ago that has kids and has been together for 10 years, not married though. Never would have guessed it.

 

We know a few couples who never swing together, instead they have psuedo permanent playmates that they are always with and swing with.

 

Obviously I'm guessing, the separation would have to be amicable and they would be friendly with each other.

 

Now that other situation of dropping off the drunk divorcee spouse and coming back, that would likely be too much for us. For us to play with a spouse alone, we need to have non drunk confirmation from the other spouse that it's ok. And unless the situation was really friendly, the chance of bad drama appearing would probably be too high, not to mention the potential legal ramifications of being subpoenaed or something for the divorce hearings.

 

So yeah, likely we would pass on a pending divorce unless we really felt it was amicable and wasnt a mess. Which is rarely the case it seems.

[Powerglide 235]

A warning flag but not necessarily a deal breaker. It is certainly possible for people to like, even love, each other, but be unable to live together. You'd have to check out the individual situation.

[sweet_tna 680]

I've not heard of this, but I don't doubt that it happens sometimes. My automatic response would be that we'd probably decline, too. But I know committed couples that are an absolute train wreck and don't know it. So . . . I guess it would just depend on the couple a the time.

[experienced 15]

I'm not one to judge....but I'd probably steer clear of them. That's just me!

[cplnuswing 4,712]

Yes, we have come across this type of situation, in fact it was our first ever contact when we joined SLS, or at least the first one where we were interested from what we saw on "their" profile. We exchanged some messages and even proceeded as far as a phone conversation, with just him of course. As green as we were, that was enough to tell us something wasn't right here, so we just broke off contact.

 

A short time later we were meeting in person with an experienced couple who were sort of mentoring us, and got some unsolicited friendly advice to watch out for this certain "play couple" that wasn't really a couple, and they/he was well known for running the same scam on any new profile they/he saw pop up. The way it sounded, they were just two people who had some sort of past relationship, but were just serving as each other's swinging meal ticket depending on the situation, but in very rare occasions would show up at an event together.