Is it better to come too quick or not at all

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Which would you prefer?

 

For the ladies: If you are having sex with a guy, would you rather he came too quick or that he couldn't come at all and therefore you never recieved the pleasure of seeing him in orgasm... and ended up chaffed and sore from too much sex.

 

For the men: Would you rather come too fast and have the opp. to possibly go again, or would you rather be hard as a rock and unable to blow your load.

[CLITFRIEND 15]

Wow Julie--this really, literally is a hard question. My answer--definitly not cum too fast---but also not being so bad off that I can't blow a load. I would rather be able to have such total control of when I cum to enhance the maximum pleasures of the woman, Or as in my fantsies, the women, I am with.

 

Let's face it--in general--once a man is done--he is done for a good amount of time--the woman on the other hand--yes--pun intended---however--still wants to go through all 15 rounds. This is going to make me look bad---because the only thing--though not bad things--I could use during my recuperating times would be my tounge--(which I assure u I do love to do), or my fingers. How ever--I would be denying her the opportunity to enjoy the my cock--simply because I have to rest it.

 

If I had the power to control --I mean fully control--not just stop and hold back--which someties work--and most times does not, but have total control over when i do and don't cum--I am sure it would allow me to be a better lover and, perhaps received a lot of repeated invitations.

 

So Julie---I do not want to shoot to quick--because that would mean I only pleasured myself--and not the lady--but I definitly would love to hold off a WHOLE lot longer in order to be sure that the lady(ies) I am with are very well pleasured!

[Roxysbayou 20]

I would prefer him to not come at all. I have no problem telling someone when I have had enough. If he's going to wait until the point that I am in pain, then he can wait until he gets home and finish himself off.

[imsnowman 34]

I guess there is only one vote per computer but Mrs. Imsnowman says she'd rather he came too quick as long as his tongue works!

[St. Augustine 20]

(Cathy) Well being with a man that controls when he has an orgasm... and I mean he controls it.. by the time he usually lets go and has a hell of an orgasm I have already had several and feeling satisfied and complete... So my vote of course would be for being able to control his orgasm.

[perlwizard 15]

Given the option of cumming early, or not at all, I'd pick early. Mostly because if we're in a "not at all" situation, it usually means I've had too much lately. Vacation almost killed me in April.

[Vjklander 138]

I voted for not at all, then read the first message

oops

If I knew I was up for a double, getting off quickly the first time wouldn't bother me. In general though, if I don't get off its no big deal to me. It happens some time, very seldom, but it happens. Then again, in the morning before I go to work its just a quickie until I get off (usually oral).

J

[jen 16]

If not at all - then are there do overs later?

 

I don't like unfinished artwork.

[ATAK 15]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

Which would you prefer?

 

For the men: Would you rather come too fast and have the opp. to possibly go again, or would you rather be hard as a rock and unable to blow your load.

 

This is indeed a hard question. I answered cum too fast and here's why...

 

If I am in a new scenario, or am highly turned on by a situation, I'm sure to cum at least 2-3 times in a matter of an hour or so. I can usually be engaged in other activities, like eating pussy or fingering during my recovery time which allows her to be pleased while I regain myself. At least this way we both get to cum, no matter who cums first, everyone has a good time.

[OhioCouple 41]

Given the two choices presented, I voted for him to "Not come at all". I've had partners that ejaculate immediately upon entry and then go soft and be done for the night.

 

I enjoy a hard cock probably more than I enjoy oral, and I love oral. I've always been pretty disappointed when it is over, before it even got started.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Well, I'd never want to come so fast that she's disappointed or (worse still) unsatisfied . . . but then again, I don't really want to miss out on my own orgasm. I quite like orgasms. Selfish perhaps, but true all the same. And I've known women in the past who are quite content to make the most of riding a hard cock, and then send it away still hard. Quite a frustrating experience. So of the two male options, I'd probably plump for the first as the lesser evil. And like ATAK, I'd use the down time to keep her busy with fingers and tongue.

[alabamafuntonig 20]

As a man I prefer to cum right away vs. not at all. My major sexual goal for a while has been to control the rate in which I have an orgasm. The longer into the sex the better for the both of us. If she would only come after 10 minutes this could be achieved very easily but Mrs. Bama does not. For her sometimes she just wants me to cum because she wants me to explore other options on getting her to the point of orgasmic bliss.

[keila 17]

I would rather he cum right away,as long as we can work on a second time. Foreplay is such fun.

[CHAMPAGNE DAVE 17]

I personaly say that I love the ability my man has to control his orgasm until he wants to let it fly. we can have extended oral and then go to vaginal or anal for a while as he makes me cum uncontrollably and then back to oral and back again. other times when a quickie is needed 15 minutes he can also do that. so i would say complete control.

 

Denise

[TxCouple98 15]

i'd have to go with...not cumming at all. I guess I've been spoiled and he has always been able to control himself very well, and i can enjoy him for a long time before the ride is over

[willygoat1 16]

This is an easy one. I am very oral and I love to hold a quivering young lady as she cums. So, I help her cum as munch as she desires and then she can do as she wants.

[akamgaxoxo 25]

I am totally cool with the fact that my man or my friend comes to fast....I love to be pleasured, but I also get off on the fact that they are being pleasured too.....I love it when they cum, I love their moans and their pure enjoyment...and plus we are all pretty young and fast to recouperate so I know that I am gonna GET MINE!!

[LIZA 20]

I'm different than a lot of couples because I tend to be able to come MUCH faster than my husband. I can have 3 or 4 orgasms and it is a lot longer for him, so on the occasions when he hasnt come, I felt horrible. I would much rather he came fast...............because he takes a while it can get tiring plus rules out "quickies" but I guess some women would love to have my "problem"

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

I prefer to start slowly, give her the pleasure of me squirting (and me too), continue to stay inside her for the few minutes until I'm hard again and then make sure she cums too!

 

Or sometimes I can't cum until she cums, then I can relax and have a huge orgasm along with her. That's the absolute best experience!

[Sweet_Candy 54]

I voted not at all but wished there had been a choice for control. Since having a vasectomy I've discovered a high degree of control. I can have several smaller ones over a period of time or one long event.

 

Sweet

 

He is Sweet, She is Candy!

[northindycpl 32]

I'd rather he came too fast. Feeling him cum makes me get off like a rocket!

[CandTinLorainCo 16]

I voted not cum at all. I'd say i'm a little confused though after reading some of the respone's to this post. I suppose my confussion lies in the fact that with so many males suffering from "PA" afterall, and most women complaing about that, (ie: the lil blue pill posts) why some of the same said cum fast? Is there truel a definition ass to "fast"? Perhaps "long"? I honestly get confused to easily.

 

 

-C

[curiousagain 326]

As I have said before, if I hold off too long then it's almost impossible for me to finish.

Unless of course they can do that thing with their tongue.

[DBL D 120]

I said I'd rather not come at all...but I would hope to able to screw the whole time. If I think there might be a second encounter or if the session seems just too hot, I may decide to try to come early. I actually think that may aid in regeneration and you could be ready to again sooner. But there's nothing wrong with not cumming as long a I can stay hard.

 

Male D

[valley 25]

I said I'd rather not come at all...but I would hope to able to screw the whole time. If I think there might be a second encounter or if the session seems just too hot, I may decide to try to come early. I actually think that may aid in regeneration and you could be ready to again sooner. But there's nothing wrong with not cumming as long a I can stay hard.

 

Male D

 

 

I've never yet met a man who couldnt come.I'm lucky I've met a good few who also knew how to control themselves. But sometimes its just communication to help a man withhold. However, premature ejaculation is a fact of life,which in some ways can be considered flattery....I can remember when a guy has been too aroused to get it in, because he desired me so much,or other times when they managed only a stroke or two.All women have been there,done that.

 

So, yes, I think it is better to have had it swift than to never have had it at all.For me,I would try hard to assure him I will not suffer unbearably because he 'failed' me.I'd like to wait a little while and try again.

 

Conversely,if a guy is having trouble coming,as long as he is hard,I would endeavour to find out what would do it for him.

[Lovinlife59912 17]

I would rather he cum and then pleasure me in other ways because the night is still young.

 

If he is having a little trouble, a nice oral stimulation always does the trick.

 

If your going to excel, excel at something good.

[staugcpl 15]

Tough question because you obviously want to come at some point during the adventure but you don't want to come too quick. I have found myself holding off so long that when I want to cum, or feel it is the appropriate time to cum, I can't. Also, a lot of times we want that moment to last forever that we hold it off so long that we lose sensation. I guess we have to really be aware of the situation that we are in and come whe we feel is most appropriate for everyone involved.

[asiantiger 15]

Too Quick was my answer but only because I know that I can keep on going... very little or no recuperation time for me. That combined with how sexy my wife is leads to a quickie to start especially when she starts having multiples...it's hard not to join in the fun. After that we can continue with various positions until we're both completely spent.

[The Big A 18]

I don't have any problems when it comes to cumming....(except for maybe the 4th time)...So I chose "too Fast"...Cause I can always get it going again in about 10 minutes.

[honeybee77 15]

This poll just made me giggle! Tough choice! I think I'd rather him finish early and then I can play with my toys until I felt satisfied, rather than feel raw from too much friction.

 

Of course the goal for me is a mutual pleasurable experience.

[crazi429 16]

If I cum quick and keep going I can keep it hard until we are done giving my partner all she wants as long as she doesn't worry about me getting off again.

[cj22s 15]

I would much rather him cum to soon than not at all. At least I know he really enjoyed him self and I know he will do what ever is necessary to finish me off.

[prettylady 221]

Up until recently I would have said come to fast. But as it turns out Dog has been having the intense feeling of an orgasm but not cuming. At first this bothered me until I realized that since he is not cuming he can keep on going and going. How, I wonder, can this be a problem?

If the man is getting pleasure out of the sex, then, if they are ok not cuming then I am ok with it.

Your friend,

Prettylady

[willyoats 324]

This thread was for the ladies, I suppose, but I have to answer for Jill, as she would not reply.

 

The ideal for her is about 5 minutes of good intercourse after an hour of really good foreplay.

 

She has had the guys that pound forever and can't come. Bummer!

 

I doubt I have ever lasted inside much more than 5 minutes with a new partner (excitement is a factor there), but most invite me back because I spend the time (up to 2 hours) before penetration to make them feel like Queen for a Day. That has worked well for me with Jill for 43 years and the others for somewhat less.

[knc7275 16]

I would rather he cum too fast. Maybe we could work on getting it up again or let his toungue take over for me. I don't think it fair for him to not cum at all.

[hedonhorse 15]

I put down cum too quick, cause if I don't cum in her I can just stay hard and continue until she has hers. Sometimes I will cum again on the same erection. Sometimes not. But I am always able to be there for hers. (knock on wood!)

[Mr.T 16]

Being a One shot Wonder(lucky me ),I'd prefer not to cum at all.I love to make it last as long as possible,and make sure my partner is well satisfied.And if she's walking like John Wayne in a western movie afterwards,all the better .

[ohash01 20]

I had to go with too quick. If a guy knows how to use his tongue/hands, I could care less that he's already cum. What annoys me is when they WON'T. It makes me feel inadequate. I want to see that I was good

[couplewanting50 65]

I had to go with too quick. If a guy knows how to use his tongue/hands, I could care less that he's already cum. What annoys me is when they WON'T. It makes me feel inadequate. I want to see that I was good

 

There is no reason for a woman to feel inadequate because a man did not orgasm. There are men who do not want to have an orgasm, as it maintains a peak of arousal for play, and particularly for extended play.

 

As for knowing that you are good, there is an array of responses that you can see in the man that will tell you if you are good. If he comes, that does not tell you anything about yourself, he could have come with anyone.

[daisy girl 34]

I have a memory of a situation where I had to stop action because it had gone on way too long. I was really really tired and the end was no where in site. I ended up feeling very "deflated." OK, that is my hang-up. But, there is almost something sexy in a guy that "just can't hold it". Like i am so incredible that he just can't hold back. mmmmmm

[hubajuba 15]

I (male) would generally to go as long as she can take it, and would be satisfied with not getting off myself (this is to a point. after so many times of this I would want to get off).

 

But I voted for too quick. This is due to recent occasions (twice in a row, a few days apart) that I just could not finish. Plenty of rigidity, just not juice. One was a morning quicky with no foreplay and starting to get sick and the second I had major conjestion and generally felt like crap. But, her perception of this completly wrong. Being newly active in swinging, (and this was after our third playdate) she started worry that was the cause. It took some talking and more talking and more talking to help her understand the reason.

 

Her reaction was a little difficult for me because we have went with very short breaks between before (less then 5 min both before and since becoming active swingers).I wouldn't have thought it would be an issue. But I understand it is a growing thing and am happy to work through all of them that arise to keep her happy.

 

Even if I was too quick and no rebound we have plenty of toys that wotk nearly as well that I can employ.

 

R

[curiousswingers 17]

Well I voted for cum too fast mainly in part because that is one of my favorite parts of sex is to see my partner cum. Don't think I'd be happy with not at all.

[BCinIN 52]

With my wife, I'd rather come too quickly. I can recover afterwards, and go again--that's a good thing, because with her I can't stall my orgasms for very long. With someone else, I'd rather not get off at all, because they may be expecting longevity without having to wait for Round 2, so to speak. Fortunately, I can sort of "disconnect" my mind from the activity to stall an orgasm with other people, so this isn't a problem either.

[Majikcream 15]

I would much rather cum to quick , wait three to five, then start again. While waiting, I can still be very attenative facelick to keep her intrest peeked. Just for the record, she feels the same way. She would'nt know what to think if I couldn't cum. She would think she don't turn me on. And that just simply is'nt so...

[Tia Vampire 167]

We voted not at all. If it's just the two of us, then of course we want each other to cum. If the guy of our play partners did not cum, it would not bother me at all. Not everyone likes sloppy second. So not at all gets our vote. It just makes for a long night of hot, steamy, erotic sex.

[Rackir 159]

I had Mrs Rack answer this one and she said "I'd almost say too fast, because if the guy doesnt come at all I'd think I was doing something wrong. Too fast and I just think he was just that excited for me and I'd be sort of flatterd".

I know she feels that way too, because whenever I lose control early it just pushes her over the edge in a BIG way . Of course I still have that feeling that a guy should be able to go for hours (not that I can, but it's still there), so I would have choosen "not at all".

[mixtupcpl 169]

I just think it is incredibly fascinating that more women responded "too fast" and the reason was that it makes them feel sexier (Mrs has actually said that), yet more guys were going for the MARATHON WIN (male results are heavily weighted in favor of NEVER CUM!!!)... LOL

 

It just shows how stubborn guys can be

[PB&J 1,086]

Since I am into marathons (5+ hours is not too long for me!) I would be very disappointed if it ended too soon. I have one friend I've played with maybe a dozen times for extended sessions and he's only cum twice, because he's having so much fun that he doesn't want it to end. Now, while I would feel it would be more fair (and fun) if he managed to cum every time, and believe me I do my best to make it happen (just not too soon), he's built for endurance rather than speed, and we both prefer it that way. And sadly, we usually run out of time or energy in the end. Need to work on those rousing finales.

[jim41537@sbcglo 15]

I checked the {cum to fast] for two reasons. The first is that sometimes the woman feels like it was her fault that a man can't cum no matter what the man says and of course the other reason is I like to finish with my own orgasm and then I can please her with the fingers and tongue. I am not however disapointed if I don't cum as long as I can please her because I will probably want to do this again and I sure want her to say yesssssssssssss. Ain't good sex wonderfullllllllll.

[N8ture Girl 318]

I would much rather my partner cum too fast than not at all. I mean really, isnt it the ultimate goal? Man pleases the woman, and a woman pleases the man, pretty simple. Why have sex if you have no plans to have an orgasm? A male half of a couple the we regularly play with is one of those who never cums and will go on for ever, he says "its too good to cum". What the hell does that mean? I guess I will have to ask him, but it is a little bit of a let down when a guy doesnt cum....