Naked by 9PM

[exploringRM 305]

Several years ago we attended two parties hosted by different couples but at both there was the same couple attending. At both parties, they left between 9PM/9:30PM. I talked to the host of the second party and she said their mode of operation is that if play is not happening by 9/9:30 they are gone.

 

Leap forward to a recent party where the hosts invited everyone over following a social event. There were 5 couples and all knew each other pretty well. My wife and I wound up playing with the hosts, after some time in the hot tub. So that left 3 couples. I was focused/in-the-zone with my playmate, and we played for quite awhile (well by my reckoning), about 45 minutes. After we came up for air, things seemed pretty quiet. Turns out while the 4 of us were playing the other 3 couples left. I talked to the guy half of one who left early and asked what was up? He was pretty beat and had a long drive home was his story, but he mentioned that one of the couples left almost right away (after the time in the hot tub) as no one was playing with them.

 

Most parties we attend, there is a social aspect in the beginning that eventually turns in to playtime. I'm sure a lot of parties are that way. I guess what I can't get my head wrapped around, is the immediate bailing on a party due to playtime not happening soon enough. Anyone have any insight into this? I know we've been to parties, where it too several hours before I played. It all gets down to timing, being in the right place at the right time, etc. Why bail early? I would have been happy to play after the first round with any of the women from the other 3 couples.

[Alura 2,775]

We often played early so we could pick up the kids at 10:00PM from their grandparents.

 

Alura

[TheSwingerSet 205]

We see this alot, if the clothes are not on the floor by 10 then people take off, our rule of thumb is that if play hasn't started by midnight then we usually call it a night as well. Our reasoning is that neither of us are at our best after that, we both usually are up early 7am at the latest and by midnight we are pooped. When we are going to a party however we try and catch a nap mid afternoon so we can keep going into the later hours.

[exploringRM 305]

I can see if the entire party is still in social stage at 10, 11 or 12midnight. But if things are happening and you are not quite yet in the mix of play why leave and give up an opportunity? (assuming you don't have to pick up the kids or get up early, etc).

 

We have a pretty regular party group of people we hang with, 10-15 couples. Parties every few months or so. Not everyone always attends, but most people know each other. Even in that group, while the play usually starts early, there are times where the opportunity is not there right away.

[Poly Dog Tags 15]

The parties we go to, "start" at 8 pm, but folks usually begin arriving around 9. We are usually playing not long after that, with the early arrivals. Leaving by 9 is way too early.

[angelkin 1,326]

We attend a lot of house parties and clubs, we're the couple who arrives early and leaves late. Sometimes, the opportunity or interest just isn't there and we don't play with others. We're ok with that as we simply enjoy meeting new people, making connections, and the conversation/atmosphere. We've not been to a party where people leave early and we've never left early due to lack of play.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Perhaps some don't realize, but there are differences in the whole lifestyle of time for people. Partiers tend to be late night people. Their time is often after midnight. There are those like me who are early risers. Weekends aren't any different, I still rise early. So 9 PM is bedtime. Getting home at midnight is very late. Yet for partiers, midnight is when things are just beginning.

 

We don't party much for that reason. Staying up till midnight is a serious commitment and I am rarely at my best that late. We prefer afternoon barbecues when the day can be fully enjoyed.

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

As the years accumulate, we find that our days are shifting progressively earlier.

 

Candidly, even in our late fifties, we get sleepy as the clock creeps past 10 pm unless there is some specific activity to hold our attention.

 

There is much to be said for starting the social hour in the late afternoon...

[sweet_tna 680]

For most of the parties we attend, it seems that folks are still arriving around 9:00 or so, and play doesn't tend to happen until after/around midnight. I'm a night owl, so that's not an issue for me, but Mr. Sweet gets up at 4:30AM on weekdays, so if he doesn't get to sleep in or grab a nap on the day of the party, he's gonna' be flagging unless there's something going on.

 

That said, we won't leave because play doesn't start as early as we'd like, because you never know. We go when we feel ready to leave (whether or not we're getting any action).

 

=)

[Guest SexyRed76]

In past experience at clubs, usually things started happening by 10pm however the rooms got real busy by midnight and on. I have never been one to leave early just because when I am out for an evening I am in no rush to go home. However, if I want to have a heated night of sex then I tend to want to start early

 

SexyRed76

[exploringRM 305]

I agree that starting early makes for a better experience, but I have been to parties where I socialize more or hang in the hot tub, and an opportunity to play did not happen until later. The play started early, but depending on dynamics, couples, singles, girl/girl there may be no opportunity right away.

[MN Tom 251]

We really enjoy the social aspect, so the only time we would leave a party early is if something really bad happens or if we have sitter issues or one of us is ill.

 

We have seen this happen too, some people just have some high expectations, and it's kinda tough since they usually aren't the ones "getting the party started" either.

 

I can understand if someone tries to get the action started and nobody else wants to, but when people stand in the corner and then leave, and then complain later that nobody did anything it's a bit much.

[sexcupid 809]

While we have yet to be at a party where the action gets started by 9pm. We did get tired of going to events where seriously the playtime was still not started by 1 am or later. So we joked with the hosts that we were going to get things started no later than 1130p. That gave us time to get to the party around 930 or 10 and still have 'social time' before play time. And we had a countdown going "1 more hour! 10 more min!" etc. It got people asking what the seemingly random countdown was for.

 

That was so successful that we ended up bumping the start time earlier. Basically I think at some (most?) parties, no one wants to be the first to toss the clothes and kick things off so to speak. So we would start with each other and within 5 or 10 minutes people would trickle into the play area. For a number of reasons, usually my sweetie's work schedule, we hardly ever arrive 'early' at a party...but we certainly can't wait until 2am for things to get started.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Years ago the party I regularly attended would pretty much flip the lights at 11 and it became time to get naked. Before that it was all social, games of pool, karaoke, the the lights dimmed and people got naked and a pile of females usually started the action. Not to say that some folks weren't already playing before then.

 

9 still seems really early to "call it a night" unless you've got some other better plans locked and loaded.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

At nine, things are still warming up. We do like to be gone by 2 so things have to be swinging before then.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

When we first started, we couldn't understand why playtime took so long to get started...but we've come to realize that socializing is fun and is a warm-up to the fun. Personally, I prefer playtime to be earlier in the evening because getting home late, going to sleep late, and waking up late makes me feel guilty when it comes to the kids. But going out early and missing time away from them also makes me feel guilty so it's one or the other! If people would just be punctual, we could schedule an hour and a half for socializing and then clothes need to come off right at 9:30.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

I am a morning person and asleep for ten normally. Club nights are hard for me to keep the energy up and my eyes open. I actually feel bad the day after because my sleep cycle is off and I am tired.

[LFM2 1,482]

I've thought of this before as well...

 

As most of you know, I work nights, but during the play time, I like to get in and get out. I want to be home by 11pm if all possible. If that means being undressed and naked by 8pm, so be it. For the life of me, I have no idea why I find it so hard to keep my eyes open past 10:30pm.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . If people would just be punctual, we could schedule an hour and a half for socializing and then clothes need to come off right at 9:30.

 

With this I agree. I will add that the socializing can wait for after sex.

[LFM2 1,482]

I will add that the socializing can wait for after sex.

 

Now I can agree with this about 100%. Have sex and THEN socialize. Does this kick us back to bonobo like behavior? On the other hand, do they act like this?

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I think the socializing is nice when you have a group that isn't well acquainted with each other. But if everyone knows each other and is open to play with everyone, clothes should come off once they walk through the door.

[exploringRM 305]

Our group actually enjoy socializing, sometimes at the detriment to playtime. We all are friends and do alot of non-swing things too and can be chatty. But usually by 10 there are people naked. Though some parties start as dinner parties/cocktail hour etc.. that takes time..then time to unwind after dinner.

 

As far as playing earlier I do much better early in the evening, but in recent times many have been past midnight.

[shy_couple 460]

Seems that inn our area no matter what time the party starts, most people

don't really start arriving until 11PM. Then they have a few drinks, socialize, and finally start playing around 12:30 or 1AM. We still have a life, family, and babysitter waiting at home for us. If it nor happening between 10:20 and 11, we usually hit one of the play rooms and do our own thing.

 

We met a couple once. They told us that they belonged to a group called "Down and dirty by 9:30" What an awesome concept.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

I have to be in a mood to have sex to be able to have sex. My social time at the club is dancing and seeing what works for me while I work the mood farther up.

 

The Rose

[Chicup 42]

Generally the hardest thing for younger swingers to do seems to be to pull the trigger and get to playing. I'm going to guess that the older and more experienced couples get to playing a lot earlier than the younger ones as a rule. We still tend to play with the younger crowd and sometimes playtime won't be until 2am.