What intimate acts do you reserve just for you and your partner?

[Chris&Amelia 253]

What sex acts do you consider to be "reserved" for your significant other and/or very very special friends?

 

You could vote for multiple items on the poll!

[Brit_Pair 62]

Woman to woman: anything goes. For us, it feels completely different, and doesn't threaten the boundries of our intimacy. As for male-female exchanges, we haven't gone beyond the women in the foursome masturbating the opposite male partner, so we haven't exactly charted the boundaries of our intimacy on that side of things. Intercourse without condoms would definitely remain off the menu.

[teknurse 18]

We have two reserved acts: vaginal intercourse without a condom and anal intercourse with or without a condom. Other than that anything goes as long as we are in the same room and both participating parties agree.

[Vjklander 138]

Using the "L" word.

[OhioCouple 40]

That is basically what we reserve for ourselves too. We are pretty open, as long as all are comfortable and the situation is right.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Yeah... saying "I love you" to a playmate would be... bad.

[Roxysbayou 20]

I checked other before I saw the anal choice, I don't think that I would do that with anyone but my hubby. Just because it's not my cup of tea, and I have to be really ready to do it, and he has to be very gentle. I would be afraid that someone who doesn't know me would be to forceful. Plus, the STD thing.

[thump29 16]

I would have to say that vaginal intercourse without a condom and anal sex is reserved for my husband only. To me those things are the most personal that you share with your mate.

[naughty A 23]

vaginal intercourse without a condom

 

and absolutely NO anal penetration... no fingers either, too easy to introduce saliva into the anus...

 

okay so I'm phobic about it...

 

The "L" word has never come up... but would definitely make me uncomfortable... except in a joke setting or group setting applicable to both members of a couple ... as in "I love you guys" but I really don't think it ever has come up????

[BradAndJanet 70]

We really can't think of any physical acts, but would use condoms for intercourse under almost all scenarios. Hearing, "I love you", would be most unwelcome and inappropriate from anyone other than J. "I love what you're doing to me!", would be just fine, however.

 

-B

[Misty&Todd 16]

Intercourse without a condom and anal sex with or without a condom ... those are reserved for only hubby and I.

[bbcpl4cpl 17]

Originally posted by teknurse

We have two reserved acts: vaginal intercourse without a condom and anal intercourse with or without a condom. Other than that anything goes as long as we are in the same room and both participating parties agree.

 

This is us to a T! I would just be echoing this statement for our feelings on this.

 

Love,

 

Tigress xx

[Ashley 22]

Finding it hard to believe that french kissing came in third.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Originally posted by Ashley

Finding it hard to believe that french kissing came in third.

 

I don't. For some, kissing is considered a very romantic and intimate act. Amelia has no problems if I have sex with a another woman, or even go down on her, but I better not kiss her while I'm doing it!

[keila 17]

Intercourse without condom, no anal, and only French kiss the ladies.

[steuge 15]

I would reserved french kiss, and penile-vaginal sex without condom for intimate partner only.

 

I rephrase the questions:

What acts are reserved for your intimate partner? and

What acts would you like your intimate partner to reserve for you?

[lauriern 16]

People with the kissing thing are an automatic "Danger, Will Robinson."

[robnbarb 40]

Been thinking about this a lot.

 

Definitely intercourse without a condom (plus that can be dangerous)

 

Cuddling and snuggling afterwards would be bad (not a simple hug and kiss in the afterglow, I mean lying together for about 20 min).

 

All I have been able to come up with.

[zebrahead7557 15]

Intercourse without a condom. That is way too much sharing.

 

I always tell my husband that he bought the cow, so he can drink milk from the carton & that unless another woman wants to take care of him when he is sick, do our housework, put up with the uncouth inlaws & all of that non-sexual "wife-stuff" everyday, maybe she can have some of his "naturalness"

[KarlnRenee 15]

I voted for vaginal without a condom and anal...those are reserved just for him.

[Avantgarden38 18]

Gosh, looking over this list and the posts we have done everything most people consider too intimate. Including the use of the "L" word.

 

We have been swinging with one couple for two years. It just isn't in me to play with a woman a hundred times and not feel something. I have hugged her and told her I love her. The word love needs to be divided into at least a dozen sub-categories in my opinion. Of course I don't love her the same as my wife, or my mom, or a nice motorcycle, or chocolate cake, or riding in a convertible, or summer vacation, or. . . . . . . you get the idea.

 

My wife and I are 40 years old and have been together 25 of those years. The thought of reserving something just for us never crossed our minds. I suppose we have such a sense of comfort with each other that sharing something physical with someone else just isn't an issue.

 

Either that, or we are just free-love-hippie-sluts.

[dave110256 21]

Kissing is a must during intercourse...but cumming in my wife without a condom isn't going to happen with anyone but me. STD's are too common nowadays...

[Divemaster 52]

I am surprised by the amount of people who have the "kissing" rule. Kissing to me is so much a part of hot sex. Thats like saying "sex=love" or "kissing=intimacy" I disagree with both these terms. Love is in the heart, and intimacy is in the mind.

 

Joe

[BettyAnnMBSC 24]

any pressure for 1:1 private time or "dating"

[sensuality 2]

Betty Ann and Avant Garden...love your avatars... And, absolutely...there should be no 1:1 or pressure to actually date! Can you imagine someone even trying that? But, you'd be surprised!!

[Katie_and_Mark 46]

Wow, it is hard for us to have any relations with our swaps without kissing. We checked it all ok. We typically use condoms but there have been couples that we have not used them with because of the relationship we have with them. As a matter of fact we have turned couples down for meeting because of their lack of willingness to kiss. It is hard for us to understand how someone can go down male or female and not be willing to kiss the man or women they did it on. Nothing wrong with them just not our cup of tea, if they can't kiss me or my wife than we prefer to find someone who will.

 

We swing to swing and to us that means everything as long as everyone is comfortable going in. I will say this I never, never do anal on another women unless they ask me to. As far as my wife's ass, it is hers and I let her make that decision which she will or won't depending on the man and how he treats her...

 

We make love at home and we have fun when we swap so for us the intimacy is all about the attitude and the heart behind it.

[Mich149 16]

Okay, this is going to sound odd, but in one situation or another, all of the above have been okay with us. The one thing that I can't handle however, is hand holding. I found this out quite by accident and since it's the one rule that is steadfast, we don't even think twice about it, but most people end up laughing at me. lol

[Spoomonkey 421]

The one thing that I can't handle however, is hand holding.

 

Wow!

 

I totally agree! PDA for me... I just don't like it when we are out with friends. But, Mrs Spoo and I are on the same page about that, so it is never an issue. Ihear people talk about it, though and it does make me cringe...

 

Spoomonkey

[good times 991]

The one thing that I can't handle however, is hand holding.

 

I never thought of this before, but I think that would bother me too.

[northindycpl 32]

For me, anything that I would consider to be a romantic gesture. This is going to sound odd, maybe, but if Mr. Indy stroked the ladies face while she blew him, or cuddled with her, or passionately kissed her, it would bother me. Likewise if we were out and he rested his arm around her like he does me, or hand holding.

 

Those are things, IMHO, that are reserved for Lovemaking, not sex. I am very certain when we swap to be playful and avoid all hints of romantic connections with my male partners. And I think they like it best that way, truthfully.

 

Now with women I think it is different. When I am in a FF situation, kissing, softly touching and being gentle doesn't bother me at all.

[Vespertine 31]

For me, anything that I would consider to be a romantic gesture. This is going to sound odd, maybe, but if Mr. Indy stroked the ladies face while she blew him, or cuddled with her

Ditto.

 

I don't think these are odd things to consider too intimate. I feel the same way.

[JennyMac 15]

We haven't actually done this yet, but the romantic/intimate things Ms. Indy talked about are right on target with us as far as what we have discussed. Those gentle gestures are for me and me alone. I know we haven't thrown ourselves into this completely, but if I ever look over and see him "making love" to someone instead of having sex (and to me those things are characteristic of making love) our swinging time will be put on standby until we work it out or our swinging days will be swung out the door...

 

Jenn

[graygo98 148]

This is a really hard one.... most of the people who have posted above have more experience than us ... sometimes a lot more ... and I have come to really respect their views. But, on a few points I just see things differently.

 

I know that swinging isn't making love. And, it isn't about a relationship... already got one, and its more fulfilling than I had ever imagined possible. And getting better every day.

 

But I also just can't imagine receiving oral sex from a woman and keeping my hands rigidly at my side. I can't imagine that stroking her face is unacceptable ... it seems so natural to me. If I looked over and saw the same scene being played out with my SO it wouldn't bother me, quite the opposite.

 

Now, the male of a couple we met last summer told me of one occasion when his mate really liked the guy and they spent a long time after sex cuddling and whispering sweet nothings to each other. He and the other woman left them alone to enjoy their privacy. That seemed a bit much for me, but they were just fine with it.

 

So, where is the line? A different place for different people, and probably at a different place for the same people at different times. Don't know if that makes any sense to you folks, but its the best I can do so early in the day.

[curiousagain 326]

Body language is full of communication if you listen but it is filtered through the viewer/receivers filters. That guy might be ok with his wife cuddling and whispering sweet nothings. I would be freaking out.

 

Personally, if I am with a couple, the husband finishes first, then I, and the woman wants to lie together for a moment as our breathing slows, stroke each others hair, kiss, stuff like that, sort of a cool down. No problem. If she wants to cuddle up later and bury her head on my chest while stroking my stomach?? Big red flag, because to me that part is not sex, it is affection and I don't want to go there. Say inbetween round you're all lying around talking. She should be cuddled up with her husband, not me.

[Vespertine 31]

Personally, if I am with a couple, the husband finishes first, then I, and the woman wants to lie together for a moment as our breathing slows, stroke each others hair, kiss, stuff like that, sort of a cool down. No problem.

Guess we look at it the same way. I'm guilty of being sprawled across a playmate, after the fact, while I try to catch my breath. I might lick the sweat off his neck or something equally as goofy, but in no way would I linger there and cuddle.

 

All my cuddle time is saved for my husband.

[intuition897 2,179]

I checked other before I saw the anal choice, I don't think that I would do that with anyone but my hubby. Just because it' snot my cup of tea, and I have to be really ready to do it, and he has to be very gentle. I would be afraid that someone who doesn't know me would be to forceful. Plus, the STD thing.

 

Same here. Some women just love anal, but unfortunately I'm not one of them. Missed that checkbox.

 

We don't have any restrictions per se except perhaps deep eye-fucking (aka prolonged intense eye contact) and very intimate or exclusive conversation (like, "I love you", "You're so much better/sexier/fun/etc. than my wife/husband", "What do you think about you and I (fill in the blank with some activity that leaves out the other two)", etc.). There are certain intangible emotional barriers that we all have set up and when someone invades our emotional personal space, it makes us uncomfortable. If we find ourselves responding to someone else's emotional advances, we take that as a sign that we need to examine what's going on between Mr. and I that is allowing for that to happen. No need to panic, just time to review.

 

As far as physical stuff, pretty much anything goes as long as it feels good and we are all comfortable with it.

[graygo98 148]

Curious and Vespertine

 

Pop! The "line" just got a little clearer. Thanks for sharing two examples that help me to understand in my own mind the degree of intimacy that I am comfortable with. In both examples, context is everything. If its a part of passion or in the immediate afterglow, some things are ok that are completely unacceptable otherwise. Its not a black and white rule.

 

Thanks again...

[graygo98 148]

Oops! Posted too soon. Intuitiion, a very elegant summation of what I was groping toward.

[Vespertine 31]

I know what you mean, graygo98.

 

There isn't exactly a definite line.

 

I say that I don't want anything intimate, but when I think back, some of my actions my be considered intimate...but the intentions behind them aren't intimate, if that makes sense.

 

I might come up to a partner, before things get rolling and sit on his lap and cuddle while whispering things of a suggestive nature into his ear. More often than not, when I do this, I'll keep eye contact with my husband & tease him too, or look over at the wife, and wink and smile.

 

I'm a physical person. I love to touch and be touched.

 

Now I wonder if this can be interpreted to being too intimate.

[mf69_98 20]

Wife won't do anal with anyone (bad experience with old BF once). We have reserved playing with her toes for just the two of us - she loves having them massaged while having sex & sometimes sucked.

[eager4more 15]

For us there's restrictions for safety reasons (condoms), and one restriction for intimacy - I chose "other" because we reserve for us alone falling asleep with each other at the end of the night, with grins on our faces!

[adventureUS2 25]

There are not too many things we have reserved for just us. Maybe all night snuggling after sex. I don't think we would swap for the after sex snuggle and fall asleep time.

 

Anal is reserved people we have played with for a while. Sex with out condoms is also reserved for people we know very well.

[Iplay 16]

I voted None - we have no restrictions with other playmates because me and my wife like exploring anything and everything.

[YZF 8]

Though we haven't taken the plunge my girlfriend and me have agreed on some "don't even think about it" rules.

 

1: No cumming in another woman's mouth. This is something my girlfriend had never done before and started doing with me so she wants no other woman having that. If another woman gives me a blow job, my girlfriend gets the cum.

 

2: No woman gets a mustache ride. I can go down on a woman, but no woman gets to straddle my face cowgirl style and grind one out. This is reserved just for her.

 

3: No cuddling or spooning.

 

4: No anal. I introduced her to this and it is to be done only with her. This works both ways, no one in her booty but me.

 

5: Kissing is okay during sex, but no kissing after a quick "thank you" kiss after sex.

 

These are pretty black and white so there will be no "I thought it REALLY meant" later.

[CuriousInOregon 16]

Well we have not had our first swing session as of yet, But have plans for it soon the only limitations we have put on it for Full Swap is Same room, No anal w or w/o condom, and no vaginal Sex w/o condom...... I think of it as a learning experience for us to explore ourselves Why put so many limitations on Fun? Doenst that take the "FUN" Out of it When we do have our first meet up I will let everyone know how it went I suspect nothing but GREAT things

[txduo2000 18]

Anal is totally off-limits with anyone but each other.

 

As far as vaginal, we use condoms with those we don't know very well, but if we get to know someone very well, our preference is definitely without condoms. We both hate using them. So that's one of the drawbacks for us.

 

We both perform orally without condoms, but I (female) half will not allow play partners to cum in my mouth. That, too me, is dangerous at the least, and far too intimate at the most ... while I like to swallow, it is reserved for my hubby.

[ALilOEverything 901]

About the only thing on that list that's too intimate is sex without condoms, and even then, that doesn't have anything to do with intimacy.

[Jamie&Kieth 36]

We enjoy a group sex atmosphere with our friends who we have been having sex with for some time now. We pretty much have the attitude that everything & anything goes as we/ are all pretty physical.

 

We enjoy being physical with our partners and yes I do enjoy watching my husband being physical-intimate with his partner(s). WE HAVE FUN!!!

[jennandjamesinm 87]

One of our very strict rules is no condom, no intercourse. This is more a precaution. As far as intimacy goes we really do not have any rules set.

 

J and J

[kas 15]

Finding it hard to believe that french kissing came in third.

 

It was my third... mostly because I'm a germ freak. Being a teacher for many years, has caused me to be hyper sensitive about somethings... so for me, it went like this

 

1) vag without condom

2) any anal

3) french kissing

 

Kas