From it could have to it DID Happen!!!

[JAJ 15]

First of all its been a while since being on here. My wife and I are still tossing around the idea of her being with another woman. About a year ago, she says she wants to do it, we start talking more about doin it and the idea just fizzled out. Fast forward to Saturday Night. We are camping with a couple (married also) who are our friends, although they live about an hour away. While some drinking my wife openly admits to other hubby that she has wanted to sleep with another woman, his wife cant hear this. I don't think much about it. However after the women go to sleep(seperately), other hubby and I are talking about what my wife said. He said how much his wife is atracted to my wife, and she wants possibly to do more.

Next day I tell my wife about other hubby's wife and she was flattered, said she wished they lived closer, and could definitely see them gettin together. It has been 3 days since that last conversation about the two of them, now other couple has invited us up to their place in a few weeks. I don't want to make my wife feel like I am trying to rush her into something. I really wanted her to speak to me again about it first before I brought it back up to her. This is her decision and I want her to feel like she has control.

 

So Im stuck. What do I do? I don't want my wife to feel like im rushing her, but I feel rushed by the other couple. Judging by my wifes reaction initially, i think she would be Happy to go there, I just dont want there to be any akwardness, We are all friends (although Not real Close). Otherwise than the timing, I can't think of a better setup, I mean its not like we will be running into each other all the time.

 

Tell me what you think I should do. Any pitfalls you see that I need to address?

[naughty_kitten 56]

Just say, "Hey honey, guess what? The McHotpants invited us up to their place in a few weeks." Let her react and take it from there. Stress the fact that you don't want her to do anything she's not comfortable with. Sounds like everyone's giving a green light though.

 

Sent from my Nexus One using Tapatalk

[Tina and Bob 236]

Perfect answer from naughty kitten. Don't force anything, just let things take there natural course when you get together. The guys might find a good reason to let the women be alone for a few good hours. Maybe go to a sports bar and catch a game not televised locally. Good luck.

[JAJ 15]

Yeah I thought about that, just telling her and seeing her reaction. I have thought about us guys leaving for a little while, but man I would like to catch the show too. I know, I am looking into it as my fantasy now.

 

One more question. Do you feel some drinks would be in order to smooth out the road (akwardness)? That is my biggest fear, I don't want the gals to feel uncomfortable around each other now that we all know that they want each other.

[Zoe&Wash 93]

One more question. Do you feel some drinks would be in order to smooth out the road (akwardness)? That is my biggest fear, I don't want the gals to feel uncomfortable around each other now that we all know that they want each other.

 

Yes, drinks are a good idea as a social lubricant only. If men have too much to drink, they might have problems all their own, and if women have too much to drink, they can toss the night off as a drunken mistake and now you're spending the rest of your life wondering "what if . . . "

 

Stick with wine and beer and then only as much as you'd have if you were driving.

 

Lower your expectations, don't push and see what develops - because whatever develops will be within her comfort zone.

 

Have fun and let us know what happens at Rancho McHotpants in a few weeks!

 

W

[slevin 1,374]

Yeah I thought about that, just telling her and seeing her reaction. I have thought about us guys leaving for a little while, but man I would like to catch the show too. I know, I am looking into it as my fantasy now.

 

I think it is important to have a plan and an understanding between you and your wife before you go. She knows the other woman is interested in her and she must know the implication of you two being invited over so soon after camping. I would tell her about the offer, chat about it with her then be up front about the elephant in the room. Nothing wrong with something like:

 

"I wonder if they are inviting us over to see if you and she want to experiment together. I am happy with us taking our time and not rushing into anything, so I don't think we need to feel like we have to do anything. But I think we should have a plan for how we'll react if they do bring it up, or if they try to initiate something."

 

Much better than just going and seeing how your wife reacts if you leave the two of them alone. Better to attack this as a team than to set things up and see what happens.

[swing.kidz 367]

I'm sorry, but I don't think you should do anything...for one reason: you haven't heard ANYTHING from the other wife, you've only heard it from the husband. Since these are your vanilla friends, don't run the risk of a "lost in translation" situation coming up. Rather, find out directly from his wife what she wants (preferably letting your wife do this)...broach the subject with open communication before going to their house and "cornering" her with something she didn't necessarily expect...that could really lead to a potential blow up.

 

As these are your friends, the swinger aspect isn't on the table as it would be if you went to an on premise party or met someone from Swing Lifestyle or Kasidie. This is a touchy subject for friends, and could mean permanent damage to your friendship...tread lightly.

[JAJ 15]

I do agree with you swing.kidz. I don't want to overstep anyones boundries. They are our friends (other hubby and I are old friends, his wife and mine just met few months ago), but we rarely see one another, with that said I still value the friendship. On the contrary the other wife has been sort of touchy with my wife, has flirted with me. But I want to make one thing clear, I have no intention of setting this up so I can get with other wife, and other hubby is on same page as I. With that said, I don't think my wife or his would be comfortable calling the other one and talking about hooking up. Like I said, they hardly know each other, but there is the attraction between the two.

Previously when my wife and I spoke about this (about 1 year ago), our biggest concern was finding someone because of the soo many variables involved. I feel this scenario is almost perfect.

1. They like each other.

2. We will not see them all the time, no akward meetings at grocery store etc, as they live about 100 miles away.

3. We don't have to worry about trust issues, as we feel comfortable with them.

4. If this happened and didn't go smoothly, we truely feel as it wasnt a mistake, just a bump in the road.

 

 

About them being vanilla, we are more vanilla than they are, we have no experience with others, but they have had a couple of strip club experiences.

 

I did ask my wife about going to visit them in a few weeks and she said she hasnt thought much about it, but she was smiling, she has been busy. So how do I proceed? Anything I need to take into consideration? Im open for suggestions.

[Zoe&Wash 93]

"Hey, honey? I was thinking that we could either spend that one weekend in September we had set aside to regrout the bathroom, or we could visit Rancho McHotpants. What do you think? The bathroom sure could use regrouting."

[JAJ 15]

Ok so we are going this next weekend to visit them. My wife has made it clear that she does not want to feel like this is set up so they two can hookup (although she has to know why). Sometime when Im texting othe hubby, my wife will get my phone and text him saying how she wishes other wife was here. So she is not naive. So now I am wondering about overcoming the initial akwardness, I mean we will be drinking and Im sure that will help, I just don't want this to turn into a bad evening altogether. I think my wife would like to experiment with the other wife, but sometime its just hard to guage her. I just want to be prepared. I mean if it is going to happen then this has to be the best opportunity she has had.

I need suggestions for the weekend. Like I said before I have no intention of shaggin with the other wife, this is about the girls, but if things feel right who knows what may happen. Thats my question, how many women have on their 1st experience with FF ended up into a full blown screw fest. Ahh the unknown!! Another thing, if I talk about the possible situation with my wife I feel she will be uncomfortable and feel set up. I do not want that, but I do want us to be prepared for the unknown (the other wife can be pretty crazy sometimes I hear). Tricky. Please let me know what you think, I need pointers.

[WildMiCouple 325]

JAJ.........don't overthink this one. You'll only set yourself up to be disappointed. Just hang out with your friends and have a fun time. If the opportunity presents itself for the girls, then let them set the pace and go with the flow. And if they have a hottub......then things will certainly be heating up

 

Good luck and stop worrying yourself over how or what might happen. Just look at it as a getaway weekend with friends.

 

Brett

[Zoe&Wash 93]

Good luck and stop worrying yourself over how or what might happen. Just look at it as a getaway weekend with friends

 

We had one of these a few years ago - we thought we were going to 'party' with them, but instead we ended up partying with them. We'd secured a small play kit in our bag just in case, but we never needed it. Because we hadn't gotten our hopes up too much, we still had a good time.

 

And she made awesome pecan encrusted french toast for breakfast.

 

W!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

 

So Im stuck. What do I do? I don't want my wife to feel like im rushing her, but I feel rushed by the other couple. Judging by my wifes reaction initially, i think she would be Happy to go there, I just dont want there to be any akwardness, We are all friends (although Not real Close). Otherwise than the timing, I can't think of a better setup, I mean its not like we will be running into each other all the time.

 

Tell me what you think I should do. Any pitfalls you see that I need to address?

 

You said it yourself. YOU feel rushed. Even if it's just the wives playing you need to feel comfortable too. If you don't, then don't do it. And you are right to worry about awkwardness or even lost friendship. If they have invited you expecting things to happen and they don't, will things be awkward? If you go and play does happen, will things be awkward?

 

I'd suggest that you accept their invitation ONLY on the grounds that they (and you) have no expectations of anything happening. And when you all get together, you sit down and talk through your concerns. The only way to stay friends afterward without awkwardness is to be open with them and to have everyone on the same page.

[JAJ 15]

Ok Update!!

We met this couple Sat night and the ladies hit it off just like they had been friends their whole life (Only known each other 2 months). We all have few drinks, call a cab, go to a bar and have a few more drinks. At the bar im alone with his wife as my wife and him were out smoking, so I just bluntly asked her what she thought of my wife. She said she thought she was hot, so I asked when she was going to put the moves on her? She just kind of laughed, so I didnt ask anymore. Meanwhile my friend is out telling my wife how bad his wife wants her and some things they had talked about during one of their "meetings". This got things going.

So were all feeling GOOD. Were not drunk, but we shouldn't drive. So were waiting for a cab to pick us up and having sexy talk. We start asking them what we are going to do when we get back to the hotel, and my wife who is got her arm around the other wife starts pulling her toward her boob (which was still covered, by the way my wife is very tall and the other wife is short, so it lined up pretty well.) They both start laughing.

We get to the hotel and my wife pretty much takes control and before we know it they are in the bed kissing, rubbing, and licking UP TOP. When us guys would leave the room thinking they might want to have some privacy, they would call for us again. At one time the other wife was sucking my wifes nipples while I was eating my wife, that was hot, we all agreed. We eventually ended up in seperate beds, having same room sex mostly covered, but it was still very memorable. Honestly I am very happy the way things turned out, I mean they didnt go down on each other, but now that leaves something for them to try next time.

OOH what do I do with all these mental pictures in my head.

[JAJ 15]

For a little background on my wife and I, read the thread It Could have happened in the curious Forum. This was our first time with another couple. My wife has told me in the past she liked the idea of beig with anothe woman and it finally happened this weekend.

 

 

We met this couple Sat night and the ladies hit it off just like they had been friends their whole life (Only known each other 2 months). We all have few drinks, call a cab, go to a bar and have a few more drinks. At the bar im alone with his wife as my wife and him were out smoking, so I just bluntly asked her what she thought of my wife. She said she thought she was hot, so I asked when she was going to put the moves on her? She just kind of laughed, so I didnt ask anymore. Meanwhile my friend is out telling my wife how bad his wife wants her and some things they had talked about during one of their "meetings". This got things going.

So were all feeling GOOD. Were not drunk, but we shouldn't drive. So were waiting for a cab to pick us up and having sexy talk. We start asking them what we are going to do when we get back to the hotel, and my wife who is got her arm around the other wife starts pulling her toward her boob (which was still covered, by the way my wife is very tall and the other wife is short, so it lined up pretty well.) They both start laughing.

We get to the hotel and my wife pretty much takes control and before we know it they are in the bed kissing, rubbing, and licking UP TOP. When us guys would leave the room thinking they might want to have some privacy, they would call for us again. At one time the other wife was sucking my wifes nipples while I was eating my wife, that was hot, we all agreed. We eventually ended up in seperate beds, having same room sex mostly covered, but it was still very memorable. Honestly I am very happy the way things turned out, I mean they didnt go down on each other, but now that leaves something for them to try next time.

OOH what do I do with all these mental pictures in my head.

[cari and mar 45]

Nice write-up! Your excitement shows, and it's good to hear that your first experiences went well. We were lucky in that respect also.

 

C&M

[JAJ 15]

It Happened again!!! They invited us last minute to their place for the evening, kids included. We arrived had dinner, drinks while the kids played. After we finally got the kids to go to sleep in the bedrooms, we started playing in the living room. It started off with them watching us fool around, then they joined us on the hide-a-bed. Yeah 2 couples on a full size hide-a-bed, it was pretty tight.

To set the stage. On the the bed the guys were on the outside and the girls were in the middle. So the girls start touching and feeling each other. MY wifes hands were pretty busy and I realize she is very aggressively rubbing her friends clit, which she responds with moans. Us guys are just enjoying the show for the most part. Next something happened that baffled me. My wife wanted us to do it, and I was no where near hard, so she does her job and gets me there after a few minutes. We start to do it, the other wife starts rubbing all over my wife while I am screwing her. Things are going Great until BAM..... In walks my 7 year old daughter

We scramble for cover. The other couple play like they are asleep, I try to cover myself while searching for anything that resembles underwear. So I manage to cover myself and get my daughter back to bed. But that ended the night for my wife and I. We enjoyed another encounter with our friends and have another set up already.

So Question, If all we do is what I just described above, we are not really swinging, correct? Maybe my wife is by being with the other woman, but we only have these two experiences under out belt and neither myself or my wife want it to go further than Girl-Girl Fun while the guys enjoy their wives. I would like to know what you all to think?

[naughty_kitten 56]

I would say if you're enjoying sexual experiences with other people, that constitutes swinging. I don't think swinging = swap.

 

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[a_d_xxx 663]

The Lifestyle is what you decide to make it. There are lots of couples in the LS that are into voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc. and don't actually swap.

 

In your case, I would say that your wife having sex with another woman would definitely fall under the definition of "swinging". But I wouldn't get too hung up on what it's called. As long as everyone is having fun and the experience is enhancing your relationship then the labels are immaterial.

 

D

[slevin 1,374]

Also, best to avoid doing these sort of things when there are kids in the house

[JAJ 15]

Thanks for the replies. I am not into labels, but I was just curious as to if it had a proper name. It seems most the post I read on here involve some sort of swapping for the most part, whether soft or full.

 

What about the problem I had. How do I say it, well I had trouble getting hard. Thats tough, I've never had that problem before in my life. We were drinking pretty heavily as we were the first encounter and it happened then also, but not to this degree. I talked with the other guy afterwards and he said he was in the same boat too. Do you feel this is a alcohol thing or just the situation? I've never had trouble getting it up when drinking before, so I am leaning to the situation as the cause. I wasn't nervous, now my wife was actually shaking at one point, but she got back in the game pretty fast.

 

Is this something that is common? I need some pointers here, any tricks or tips to help me out? I do not want this to happen again.

[slevin 1,374]

Is this something that is common? I need some pointers here, any tricks or tips to help me out? I do not want this to happen again.

 

Yes, it's fairly common. Tricks to help avoid it:

 

• Drink lots of water
  
• Get plenty of sleep in the days before you meet
  
• Don't drink at all, or drink very little alcohol
  
• Enjoy what is happening, but try and avoid stop/start situations where you get hard, then soft over and over
  
• If it happens, don't freak out. Just do something else for a while and enjoy yourself
  

[JAJ 15]

Also, best to avoid doing these sort of things when there are kids in the house

 

Yea, we had no intention of anything going on that evening other than just enjoying each others conversation. But after the kids went to bed on the other end of the house, everyone started getting a little brave. I don't think we will make that mistake again.

[Breezyinhislove 15]

A few weeks ago my husband and I had some group sex with my sis and her b/f.(who btw is fucking crazy) My sister and I started out by licking eachother's pussies. She wanted me to sit on her face, so then it was ON! I was grinding my pussy into her mouth and watching Lover's cock get hard, and the more I watched him, the more turned on I got. (He thinks I am a raging lesbian, which I have had more female partners than male, but watching the excitement and lust in his eyes is captivating to me.) knowing that he is watching our wet pussies grinding and thrusting into each other and the glistening of our faces from the drippy boxes we're sucking dry. So I pull my head from between her legs to see that hard dick waiting to go into only me. (Its all mine, and its fucking huge.) I can get off with only like 30 seconds of head from him, and sometimes my pussy cums with the first full thrust of penetration on that wonderful love stick.

(hes 8 yrs older) . The first guy mostly just like to fuck me in the ass (we were only 14 at the time and he was terrified of getting me pregnant. We were however very much in love, so even tho we did have vaginal intercourse 3x over 3 years and his cock just wasnt hitting it (or even getting close) but the memory of it always made for erotic convo as we said our goodnights over the phone everynight. (We obsessively had phone sex) and so I would get myself off dbl time to make up for what he lacked, and loving me was enough.

 

The second guy fucked the hell out of me daily for a month starting the first night we met. He lived in my closet secretly bc his mom had kicked him out and my parents were clueless, so I would "go to bed" every night at 7ish, and really be up getting fucked until just before my alarm went off bf school. He was an exciting lover. Exposing me to the pleasure of pain while getting fucked, the joys of letting me be watched by other guys, dirty talk, slapping, choking, role play, we did it all, and NOT ONE orgasm. EVER. Thats fucking pathetic. My lover now gets me so hot with talking dirty that sometimes my pussy starts clenching in climax bf he even penetrates me. And role playing with Lover, oh HELL YES! I like to be his sister. mmm. My big brother is my hero.

 

Anyway, back to the original POINT, my sister's bf was so intimidated by the size of his cock that he couldnt get it up. BAHAHA. (i dont blame him)

 

Dont worry tho, it really does happen to every guy at some point, just have your mouth ready for backup.

[JAJ 15]

WOW Breezy, what a story.

 

Just Thought I would update everyone and get a few opinions. After Thanksgiving we invited this same couple to our house for the evening after we went out on the town. Get back to the house, started playing around some, girls start getting frisky and actually go down on each other. Wow! We all end up in our bed and my wife and I start doing our thing, they are doing theirs. My wife is blowing me and she reaches for the other wifes hand and puts it on my cock=Mind blown. Next thing I know the ladies switch, and I am with other wife. We are not having intercourse, just everything else. We stay like this for a lil while and then swap back. My wife and I get our pleasure. Next morning we do much of the same before they left.

 

Now there gone, my wife is very emotional, crying saying she cant believe we did that. I comfort her and reassure her we do not have to do it again. I let the other couple in on our conversation a few days later. They were fine and understanding.

 

Fast forward to New years eve, they invite us out with them and another couple(just for fun no fooling around). AFter the ball dropped, my wife and I kissed, then asked if I thought she should to Kiss the Other Hubby???? I was like I dont think that is a good idea with us in a bar and our vanilla friends around. But I couldnt understand her change in attitude. Now we were all drinking, but WTF. She was also VERY friendly with the other Wife, they did not DO anything but she was flirting with her in a way.

 

Now the other couple is wanting to get back with us again soon, my wife seems game with it, but I do not want to see her having an emotional breakdown again, that was hard. So Do I just go with the flow or what???

[dayhiker 83]

Can she verbalize what's going on with her emotions and why she wants to flirt after being so emational? Would want her to be able to express that before going forward.

[weloveeachother 29]

Now we were all drinking, but WTF. She was also VERY friendly with the other Wife, they did not DO anything but she was flirting with her in a way.

 

Sounds to me as if your wife is up for things when drinking. Then the next morning, after realizing what happened the night before, freaks out. We have been there, done that. I read time and again on here that if you have to be drinking to do something, then you shouldn't be doing it. Just my 2 cents....

[djjwp 129]

Buyers remorse in the morning. Talk it out and ask what if it does happen? What if you go all the way? Tell each other honestly what you think and then go from there.