What am I doing wrong?

[xx769 15]

First... there has to be a better site out there then AFF right? What is it?

 

Second... I'm a good looking single male. Bi-curious, looking for a MF couple to play with. I am a pleaser and a giver... I really get off on the fact that I can give someone pleasure, so i am willing to do just about anything... at least try it once.

 

I think I have trouble hooking up because I come on too strong. Once someone shows interest in me I think I may scare people off, because I'm the "hey let's meet this weekend and fuck" type of guy. I know I do this, so I have been trying to pace myself greatly... but I still get shut down.

 

Someone on AFF will show interest and I'll reply 'Great. Tell me more about you and what I can do for you.' That kind of thing. And then I will never hear from them again. I'll even e-mail just straight out asking them 'Are you still interested?' and I never get a reply back, which seems pretty rude to me.

 

This happens all the time, so I must be doing something wrong. Like I said my only guess as to what I would be doing wrong is that I'm too eager. But I've really tried to go slow lately and the same things tend to happen.

 

I've hooked up with a few women on AFF and had a great time. MF couples I have had zero luck.

 

Any help?

 

Thanks.

[MN Tom 251]

Well, to be honest, the swinging community in general isnt very open to bi male activity. It happens, and plenty of people do it, but it's not something you will see people openly talking about at parties or hear people expressing desires for in an open setting.

 

With that said, Im not sure if there are other communities where you would be more welcome. Ive had a limited amount of contact with the gay and lesbian communities, and they are pretty much the same, albeit in their own way.

 

Keep in mind you can find groups of swingers open to your mindset, but you do have the chips stacked against you.

Just keep plugging away, maybe try some local swinger sites in your area, but expect quite a few "no's"

[Alura 2,774]

MN Tom's right. There's a very small market for you. But if you leave your profiles up, eventually someone will call. Make sure you're completely honest about your interests.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Making connections on-line is problematic for everybody. Don't become discouraged by sudden, unexpected withdrawals by AFF profiles. Many of them are posted by people just trying to jerk everybody off and this happens even at the best Web sites. Have you considered, maybe, getting out to meet-n-greet events and talking to actual people face-to-face. I'll recommend this as it allows you to go around a lot of the problems of searching for people using the World Wide Web.

 

Best of luck in your search.

[twistedpretzels 100]

As a couple it has taken us over a year to hook up with another cpl, a bit less to hook up with a guy. The bi thing wouldn't bother us,,, but that's just us. It takes time, but the the meet n greet thing is a good idea. Try SLS.com for another swing site. I think there are links on SB.

Good luck

[grayfox42104 38]

(1) Try the website SwingLifeStyle - Adult Swingers Personals Service and LifeStyle info.

 

(2) Try saying you are bi-curious rather than bisexual, and (3) Always suggest that you meet them for a drink or a meal to get to know one another first and see if you click and have chemistry before just asking them to meet you and fuck. Some who agree to meet will not show, some will meet you and decide not to play, but some of them will turn out to be lots of fun.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

There are literally thousands of singles out there, compared to the number of swinger couples.

 

Ads in my opinion are a waste of time for most. Remember, you are just pixels on the screen when searching. Thanks VegasLee, have to you credit for that thought.

 

You need to be where there are live people that share your interest.

 

You should evaluate yourself, which appears you have done. You need to tone it down and go at the other people's pace. If you push us too hard it will be goodbye quickly.

 

The couples are there for their on enjoyment. You are just a breathing dildoe to them. They probably don't need a relationship with you. You may find a couple that wants more.

 

If your profile picture is all about your penis, change it. Some people don't like the in your face cock picture. Make it a normal one that highlights you as a person.

 

Take it easy and be cool.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

You have a lot of strikes against you, but I don't see your response as one of them. Unfortunately, there are a lot of flakes out there, as others have said. As couples we have just as hard a time getting people to actually get together.

 

No, AFF is not the best site for swingers, there are better ones. I'd start with SLS, but even there you will have a hard time. All in all, your best bet is probably going to be finding clubs near you that are open to single males.

[likkittisplit 21]

I have had quite a bit of luck. I think a lot of couples are curious about this and want to explore it, but there are not many willing to bring it out in the open. I have found that some bars (straight) with a sexual atmosphere such as dance clubs are great places. The secret is to be friendly to both the husband and wife. Not many men or people for that matter , want to feel left out or looked over. Usually, if you talk to the guy and show him that you are wanting to be friends with him and maybe you and him are checking out the girls together. While you and him are checking out the girls together, you could get a sense as to what he is into. Maybe say something like "Dang she is hot, so is your wife, it would be hot to see them eat eachother." Maybe tell him how horney you used to get thinking about having a threesome with your ex girlfriend or something. Then you could say, "I wish that we had known you back then." Just to let him know that you are into the whole threesome thing. Never ever make the husband feel left out. Motels with swimming pools are great for meeting couples too , some are actally there hoping to meet someone to take back to their room. Good luck. I am about to go out on a date to share a girl with a friend of mine who has been letting me join him and his girlfriend. Quid pro Quo!

[Lascivious L&L 866]

Very interesting reading these posts...

 

You are a single guy looking for a woman or a couple. There are many more of you than there are those you are looking for, no matter the site. So patience and persistence is your must.

 

We are a bi couple who enjoys guys like you, who are bi. But we are very picky. Contrary to the opinion above, you aren't just a live dildo to us. We want a connection, comfort, respect, and communication, because that is what creates great sex. We're not in this for just good sex.

 

We may be unique, so you'll have to be flexible to the needs of the couple who responds. We want more than a few lines before meeting. A photo is necessary, and if it's just a cock shot it tells us nothing. We'll see your cock if it gets that far, but otherwise seeing your face is much, much more important.

 

There are so many reasons why people don't get back to you. We receive many email from men who want to play. Most are one liners. I try to answer all, but keeping track of who is who can be work, until we share something meaningful. So don't be afraid to mention who you are and where the discussion has gone. Don't be afraid to be the one to maintain contact. We've had guys who have recontacted us after months or even a year and it works better the second time.

 

For us it's the guys themselves who drop the ball more often than not. If you want it to happen quickly, then you may have better luck at a bar, which is to say not much luck at all.

[loveto69u 15]

Another site you may wish to check out is bisexualplayground.com. I've had some success meeting folks there. Also met some on the aforementioned Swinglifestyle. Don't get discouraged. When it does happen, it's a wonderful experience.