Telling the Kids

[bear_n_bunny 43]

I've read a few threads about the subject of kids lately, I even went through the archives. Opinions seemed mixed about telling the kids. I have a very curious 13 year old who probably has a better sex education than most of the kids at her school. Unfortunately, this is an education she is more than willing to share with most of her classmates. It's caused no end of dilemmas in our house when she shared the fact Mommy had told her not only where babies come from but about erections and STDs. Or when she told the five year old what condoms were. It's now been made clear that it's up to every childs parent to take care of their sexual education.

 

My parenting technique has always been if a child is old enough to ask the question, then they are old enough to hear the answer. Yet, I don't think I'd feel comfortable in telling her about Mommy's new hobby.

 

My questions on the matter are the following:

 

Is it better to tell your kids rather than let them find out?

If so, at what age?

If you did tell your kids, how did it work out? Good, bad, other.

 

Thanks for the advice.

[alabamafuntonig 20]

I dread the day when I have to school my children on their parents sexual habits. You make a valid point on the subject of sex education and when to tell them. I’m not sure I would ever clue them in on my own sexual practices. I believe it is a personal thing and my children have no right knowing. But kudos for being so open with your children. One day we can only hope to be more open like you.

[OhioCouple 41]

I have always been very open with my girls in regards to sex. So much so that they tell me way more than I need to know.

 

Not long ago, my youngest and most spiciest dropped in a couple of hours to early and I had this board on the screen. She asked me about it , with a wierd look on her face and I immeditaley hit the off button on the power strip with my foot. It did not stop her from going home and bringing up this website and asking why I would visit a place of this nature. Whether or not she has read my postings? I don't know. Do I want to tell any of my kids? No. Will I maybe have to tell my youngest? Perhaps, though I'll be uncomfortable about it all the while.

 

I'd personally rather that my kids NEVER found out, but then how realistic is that?

[dreamers 15]

WOW!

I fully agree, my kids would never understand either and really I have always firmly believed that some things should just be kept private from your children.

 

Our kids are all teens and early 20's, we live in an area that to be known as "swingers" would not go over well at all, so it would be awful if our kids found out too.

 

I believe that like a lot of things in life you can prepare them, tell them what's out there, explain all the facts, and hope like hell they are prepared before engaging in any type of sexual activities themselves.

 

Whats more important though I feel is never looking down on any type of sexual practices, to each his own right? Then if they decide later in life to try something they wont be going in thinking it's wrong or disgusting to try...I believe openness and awareness about sex and the different aspects of it are much more important then telling them what their parents are doing...lol

[twopeople2 15]

Kids catch on fast. My 10 year old must have walked by when I was looking at pictures on a profile since he asked later why I wanted to get a boob job!??! He catches on quick....he also wanted to know what the "serious board" was.

 

I don't think it's something I'd want the kids to know for a long time. Probably more for their sake than mine. Young kids are cruel and this would be very hard to explain to a group of 4th or 5th graders. I agree some thngs are just better private.

[pna42 67]

Several years ago, there was a piece on 48 Hours about Swingers. In the hour they interviewed one couple who had 2 teenage sons who were aware of mom and dad's "lifestyle" and the boys thought "it was cool that mom and dad were so open". Then to top it off, they showed the boys watching good ol' mom getting ready to go to the local swing club and the boys telling her how "hot" she looked. How would you like to have been these poor kids the next day at school? I bet they became popular with the other boys at school. These people are fucked up in the head. I don't care how open and honest you are, ya don't tell your kids about swinging. I know a woman in this area who has her 15 year old daughter "in the lifestyle". It sickens me.

[bear_n_bunny 43]

Thanks for all your feedback. Despite my general policy of honesty, I'm going to do my best to make sure my daughter does not find out about Mommy being in the lifestyle. There is simply no positive spin I can put on her knowing. Being well informed about sexuality doesn't mean she has to be informed about Mommy and Daddy's private time. She has however made it clear she knows we are not always napping because of the noise. If she only knew how very quiet we were being. I did offer to get her ear plugs.

 

However, I'm going to have to be a lot more careful about where I surf and what I leave out. She's a bright kid, and with enough clues she'll come up with a theory. I'll simply not correct her if she's wrong, nor tell her if she's right. Thankfully, she doesn't know what swinging is. Thanks to the first couple we met, we just call it The Hobby.

[CanadianCouple 18]

If the kids find out, they find out, but I can't fathom any reason why parents would volunteer information about their private sexual habits to their kids.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny

My parenting technique has always been if a child is old enough to ask the question, then they are old enough to hear the answer.

 

Keeping in mind, of course, a wise parent will tailor the answer to suit the child's age and level of maturity.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by pna42

I know a woman in this area who has her 15 year old daughter "in the lifestyle". It sickens me.

 

Please tell me you're kidding.

[BradAndJanet 70]

We are very careful about what we do, so they don't find out. Fortunately, everybody had their own PC, with WinXP, which is locked down tight. We keep the discussion to a minimum when the kids are in the house (Imagine our horror on Friday when we discovered Boy was asleep in his room, not over at his friends house. We had to replay the entire conversation to make sure we hadn't said anything compromising I don't think he heard a thing.)

 

When they are adults, if they find out, I'm not going to worry about it. But, I'm not going out of my way to tell them. It's our business, not theirs.

[CanadianCouple 18]

About two years ago, we met another lifestyle couple while we were searching for potential partners. We were surprised and somewhat shocked when they told us they'd informed their adult children of what they do. Their reasoning was 'in case they popped in unexpectedly', but I suspect the real reason was a deep rooted need for acceptance of what they do, from those closest to them.

[Roxysbayou 20]

Wow, I don't know how I will handle this topic if it ever should arise. I think that I will keep it a private matter for as long as possible. If the question would ever come up and they are old enough, I would be honest and probably explain how and why we ended up here.

[pna42 67]

Canadian Couple, I wish I was kidding about the woman and her daughter. And it's only the tip of the iceburg with this woman. Not to be gotten into here.

[perlwizard 15]

While learning this about my parent(s) would not bother me, I certainly wouldn't ask. Sex was a very taboo subject when I was growing up.

 

It's amazing how liberal I have become, along with my mother. In fact we were in Seattle a while back and she looked over and pointed. I looked and she said "that's the hotel your sister was conceived in".

 

Thanks mom.

[bill&sabrina 22]

Quote

I can't fathom any reason why parents would volunteer information about their private sexual habits to their kids.

 

That is part of a post by Canadian Couple. My response to why every parent should volunteer information about their sexual habits to their kids is so they don't teach the kids to be ashamed of their own sexuality. I would say that most of us would say that we aren't ashamed of what we do. Although I don't think children would be willing to believe that. If you are open about everything else in life, but not this, what is the reason? Sex is not really that different than any activity involving 2 people engaging in the activity to have fun. The only difference's are that a new life could be created, and STD's could be contracted. Both can be prevented to a degree. Most activities that are fun are not without risks though. Why do we continue to put sex up on a pedestal and make it a Holy Grail?

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by bill&sabrina

That is part of a post by Canadian Couple. My response to why every parent should volunteer information about their sexual habits to their kids is so they don't teach the kids to be ashamed of their own sexuality. I would say that most of us would say that we aren't ashamed of what we do. Although I don't think children would be willing to believe that. If you are open about everything else in life, but not this, what is the reason? Sex is not really that different than any activity involving 2 people engaging in the activity to have fun. The only difference's are that a new life could be created, and STD's could be contracted. Both can be prevented to a degree. Most activities that are fun are not without risks though. Why do we continue to put sex up on a pedestal and make it a Holy Grail?

 

Well, following your line of reasoning, since you're "not ashamed of your sexuality" and should be open with your kids on everything, why not perch the kids on the foot of the bed and give them a ringside seat? I'm not being factitious, I'm serious in asking the question. Is nothing sacred within the bounds of your marriage, even from the kids?

 

Dan

[dpdarling 16]

I don't have children, but wouldn't dare tell them my sexual habits. I work for my mother in the real estate business, and I wouldn't dare tell her. Swinging is a great excuse for leading two separate lives.

[bill&sabrina 22]

Dan,

Your response did make me feel like you were trying to be an ass. How else did you think it would make us feel. Telling our kids about sex, and showing them while we do it are two totally different things. Your remark really seemed more a smart ass one than a question that you had no idea what the answer would be. You can wait until Hell freezes over before you get a real answer about what is sacred in our marriage.

[bear_n_bunny 43]

Quote

Originally posted by bill&sabrina

That is part of a post by Canadian Couple. My response to why every parent should volunteer information about their sexual habits to their kids is so they don't teach the kids to be ashamed of their own sexuality. I would say that most of us would say that we aren't ashamed of what we do. Although I don't think children would be willing to believe that. If you are open about everything else in life, but not this what is the reason. Sex is not really that different than any activity involving 2 people engaging in the activity to have fun. The only difference's are that a new life could be created, and STD's could be contracted. Both can be prevented to a degree. Most activities that are fun are not without risks though. Why do we continue to put sex up on a pedestal and make it a Holy Grail.

 

This is not a matter of being ashamed of what we do. It's a matter, at least to me, of emotional and mental maturity, which is something that kids lack, and yes, that includes teenagers. Sure, Bunny's daughter (my stepdaughter) has been fully briefed on the ins and outs (pun intended) of human sexuality. But in terms of her maturity, she has no clue of what sex is really all about, nor does any other kid. These are things that come only with time, growth and experience. Hell, the swinger group I was a member of last year had some people in their early twenties as members, and after talking to them it was obvious that they had no business being there; they had not finished growing up yet.

 

And knowing our daughter as I do, if she did find out, one of the first things she'd do is blab about it to all and sundry. I've seen many cases where a couple's children found out that they were in some kind of "alternative lifestyle", and in most cases the results were unpleasant to one degree or another.

 

And don't forget the fact that, quite simply, it's none of the kids' damn business, any more than it's anyone else's business who is not directly involved.

 

Again, it's not a matter of shame or putting sex on a pedestal, but it is a matter of an ability to fully understand the issue (something that kids lack), and personal privacy.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by bill&sabrina

Dan,

Your response did make me feel like you were trying to be an ass. How else did you think it would make us feel. Telling our kids about sex, and showing them while we do it are two totally different things. Your remark really seemed more a smart ass one than a question that you had no idea what the answer would be. You can wait until Hell freezes over before you get a real answer about what is sacred in our marriage.

 

I wasn't being a smartass, I was merely following your thread of logic. You plainly stated in your first post (at least strongly alluded to) you believe sex is no different than any other aspect of life, and I'm assuming you're two people who strive to expose their children to as much of the great wide world as possible, and all it has to offer. You also state in your post above that telling your kids about sex and showing them are two different things. True, but telling your kids about sex and telling them mom and dad do the hootchie kootchie with other people are two different things as well, capice? And it stands to reason, if you're willing to bestow that kind of intimate marital information with your kids, why wouldn't a reasonably astute person assume not much else was off limits as to what your kids see, hear, and are told by their parents?

 

Actually, I DO have a pretty good idea 'what the answer would be', but I'll ask anyway. Why WOULD you tell your kids, Bill? Not being judgemental in the question, just curious as hell.

 

Dan

[Tarnished Halo 16]

I would not want my family to know about our sexual interests. I am sorry I prolly' should be more willing to be open about it, but I simply don't want ANYONE involved in our personal private life. It is none of their business, and I can't imagine us wanting to involve others in the knowledge. To what purpose? So that we can say we are being honest? How about being discreet? Isn't that what we are all counting on in the "lifestyle"?

[hotcpl4unfla 19]

My question for you is this: WHY would anyone want to consider telling their children ANYTHING about their sex life? I may be old fashioned, but I firmly believe that a parent's sex life should remain a mystery to their children. My wife and I "do our thing" when the kids are out or when we are out. It is NONE of their business what goes on in our bedroom, kitchen, backseat, etc. Honestly, a 13 year old has no concept what swinging entails, mentally more so than physically, and telling them about this facet of human sexuality will no doubt confuse them. If I had to play devil's advocate, I would say grown children who are out of the house may EVENTUALLY be privy to SMALL details about our experiences, but that is still questionable. My wife and I have close relationships with our children, but NO WAY will they ever know what we do behind closed doors with those special friends we have over once in a while. First and foremost, we are parents. Don't blur the line of parenting and friendship too much; you will regret it as your kids age and begin to rebel.

[Guest Seymore]

While my wife and I don't have any kids (yet), I'm sure that if we did I'd want them to grow up with what I feel is a healthy attitude about sex. I'd want to teach them that sexuality is a good, healthy thing AND that their sex lives are nobody's business but theirs own. To me these things go hand in hand. My sexual relationship with my wife is no ones business but ours, whether or not we choose to include others.

[CanadianCouple 18]

One of the greatest tragedies of modern times is the loss of childhood innocence.

 

Why do some people insist on pushing too much knowledge onto kids, too early in life? For what reason?

 

Can't we just let kids be kids, the way it used to be?

[bear_n_bunny 43]

Quote

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

One of the greatest tragedies of modern times is the loss of childhood innocence.

 

Why do some people insist on pushing too much knowledge onto kids, too early in life? For what reason?

 

Can't we just let kids be kids, the way it used to be?

 

I, as a mother, agree with this statement in theory. However, as I read about more and more teen age mothers and pre teen sex, I had to wonder just when childhood ends these days. The fact is that curiosity can kill these days. I made the decision that my daughter would have the honest facts about sex and sexuality. The rule of thumb is I keep giving her information until she tells me enough. As well, the manner in which I've given her this information has changed with her age and maturity.

 

I truly wish that I could let her to be an innocent child for as long as the fates allow. Yet, I think with that approach, you don't find out your child is no longer in a state of innocence until far too late.

 

Another reason I chose to start her sex education as soon as she asked, is to illustrate that there is nothing embarrassing about sex. That it is a good and wonderful thing but it's not a care free activity. I don't believe in teaching the mechanics of sex, without also giving her my opinions about respect and trust which are essential for good sex. In addition, I want her to feel free to ask me the tough questions as she gets older.

 

As far as telling her about my swinging, the answer is no. She can make her own decisions about her sex life, just as I can with mine. I just want her to make an informed decision that she can feel good about all her days.

 

Bunny

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny

I, as a mother, agree with this statement in theory. However, as I read about more and more teen age mothers and pre teen sex, I had to wonder just when childhood ends these days. The fact is that curiosity can kill these days. I made the decision that my daughter would have the honest facts about sex and sexuality. The rule of thumb is I keep giving her information until she tells me enough. As well, the manner in which I've given her this information has changed with her age and maturity.

 

I truly wish that I could let her to be an innocent child for as long as the fates allow. Yet, I think with that approach, you don't find out your child is no longer in a state of innocence until far too late.

 

Another reason I chose to start her sex education as soon as she asked, is to illustrate that there is nothing embarrassing about sex. That it is a good and wonderful thing but it's not a care free activity. I don't believe in teaching the mechanics of sex, without also giving her my opinions about respect and trust which are essential for good sex. In addition, I want her to feel free to ask me the tough questions as she gets older.

 

As far as telling her about my swinging, the answer is no. She can make her own decisions about her sex life, just as I can with mine. I just want her to make an informed decision that she can feel good about all her days.

 

Bunny

 

I can't argue with anything you've said in this post. With kids being bombarded from all sides with sexual messages, some subtle and some not so, childhood innocence never really has a chance anymore.

 

I'm 45 years old, old enough to remember a time when parents didn't have to be embarrassed with what was on TV during the evening hours after supper. I can remember a time when music lyrics didn't glorify murder, rape, and machine gunning cops. I can remember a time when 4 out of 5 kids weren't used as chattel in judicial tugs of war during custody hearings.

 

I can remember what it was like, just being a kid. Waking up on a beautiful sunny morning in early July, an entire two months of summer vacation stretched out in front of me, with not a care in the world....

[bill&sabrina 22]

Well Dan I gave you the reasons as to why I will tell my children about what me and mom do. Although it will be when I think they are mature enough to understand. Maybe you should try to digest what you read before you make smart remarks about it. I do apologize that I didn't include the fact that it would be done when they reached a level of maturity where they could understand. I will remind you that before you hint that someone doesn't hold anything sacred in their marriage you are a swinger. To the majority of the public you don't hold you marriage sacred either. Remember the old saying about people who live in glass houses.

[wrnakedru 38]

Firstly, to pna42, a plea! Actually, begging you - from my knees - PLEASE in the name of whatever you hold sacred. Call the local Children's Protective Services and get that 15 year old away from a mother who is using her, abusing her. Your name will never be known by the mother, the daughter, or anyone else (unless you share that information yourself). The agency will conduct their own investigation and any actions taken will be based on that investigation. I believe you must share your identity with them, as well as a method to contact you. That is to protect those whom may have false reports made against them by those with personal axes to grind. [in such situations, identity is still not given to anyone, but it is possible an officer would visit the false reporting person to discuss possible charges.] Despite what may be said by the mother, or even the daughter, a 15 year old is protected by law from this flagrant abuse. The law will not care if she says nothing is going on against her will. She is a minor, and you are talking the same kind of abuse as having a three year old locked in a closet all the time. A mother who is capable of this is not a mother who deserves the respect your silence is giving her. I am aghast to know a lifestyle community has held this information from the authorities.

Please pick up the phone and do the right thing. There is no possible rational to do otherwise.

[wrnakedru 38]

Back to the sharing of information with ones children. Hot topic - some areas of agreement, some of disagreement, and too much effort expended batting at one another, rather than communicating. We are all very territorial about our families, especially our children. Our rights with them are certainly viewed under a microscope by many they come into contact with in their schools. Their rights are spelled out to them by these folks in a manner meant to protect the children, and let them know what is an "okay" manner for them to be disciplined, and what is not. Some of them truly need to be reassured of this information, most don't need to be handed a potential weapon for their use like that. At some point in their growing pains, even if just to fit in with their peers who complain about their parents, we become "the enemy" to them. That is okay - it is our job as parents to be strong enough to allow them to hate us. It is their job to exercise their expanding psyches in scattershot directions. They do not need or want us to be their friends. They have friends. They need us to be their parents, and not to assuage our own egos by trying to be their friends. And what seems like at least a century later, their more human and humane identities reassemble in them. Our sanity seems perhaps possible.

 

During these chaotic years (remember them?), their opinions are vehement, very vocal, and often vindictive. And they are also usually a reflection or echo of the last one voiced to them by their current friends.

 

Acknowledge this: during these years these beings are not old enough to have experienced enough to have sinned enough to have repented enough to know what the hell they are talking about. (about 90+% of the time) So to hand live ammunition to them to insert in that aforementioned gun they are carrying around, is like begging to be their target.

 

The so-called straight (moral) communities we all live in are filled with folks who conduct their private lives according to the "American Way". They may stray from between the sheets on occasion, but they do it like they are supposed to. They sneak around and lie.

 

They are also the very first (don't ever doubt it) to call those couples who by choice live a lifestyle of caring, communication, sharing, and loving openly, without rancor, with trust and honesty - SICK, PERVERSE, DEVIANT - so sayeth those moral many. And they are the grownups.

 

While we grant there may be those exceptions that make the rule, we doubt if many (if any) of our children will achieve the maturity, the depth of emotional experience, and the appreciation of all the nuances of adult sexual relationships to be of accepting nature regarding anyone's lifestyle choice at variance with the community. Especially if those folks are theirs. We think quite possibly the majority of these beloved children of ours will not have that capacity until they have been out of our nests at least 10 to 15 years.

 

Just ask yourselves this: how long, and what chain of experiences, good and bad, did it take for the two of you to get where you are RIGHT NOW, today. And you still have to work on some of the details from time to time.

 

So be honest, and save yourself the frustration of throwing magnetic darts at a cork board.

 

They will make their choices and decisions sometimes because of, and sometimes despite all you have attempted to convey.

 

Your private life is yours, and the details of it belong to be kept right there. Who you are, what is of value, all those things will be conveyed in many ways to them. That is what they will value you for, that you have taught them to make decisions with their brains. As they have seen by example you have done. They don't need the details, and you don't need to tell them.

[alabamafuntonig 20]

So in a nut shell you are not *happy* telling you kids about *sex* and the mom with the 15 year old should be in jail like a drug *addict*.

[OhioCouple 41]

Quote

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig

So in a nut shell you are not*happy* telling you kids about *sex* and the mom with the 15 year old should be in jail like a drug *addict*.

As the mother of three grown children, two of which are girls... Yeah, I think this parent needs to be reprimanded in some way for 'having her 15 year old daughter in the lifestyle'.

 

There is a big difference between TALKING about sexual behavior and encouraging it. I think that I can speak from a tad bit of experience here as I became pregnant with my first child at the age of 15. I was a pretty grown up and intelligent kid, reared by sexually repressive parents (Mostly because after my mother's stroke when I was 12 she was unable to communicate well and my dad didn't know how to talk to girls.) That being said. I had absolutely no business having sex at the age of 15. I wasn't emotionally ready or physically ready. For a parent to condone that sort of activity for a child of that age, in itself is appalling.

 

I firmly believe that kids need to be kids, not adults, for as long as they can be. I also happen to believe that marriage should not occur between two people before they are about 25 or so. They need to gain life experience in the real world and sow their oats before making a commitment to another person. I just don't believe they should be 'sowing' those wild oats at the age of fifteen with the parent telling them "GO Honey, Go Honey, Go Honey Go."

[alabamafuntonig 20]

I agree in total, maybe I should have made my sarcasm clear. 15 year old girls have no place in *sex* to begin with. These people are *addicts* in their own sense and must be punished.

[wrnakedru 38]

Okay, can do.

Short, sweet.

Complete.

No problem discussing sex.

Answering questions.

We raised four kids.

3 girls.

1 boy.

Now have 8 grandkids.

Our kids are raising them.

 

Again, no problem whatsoever discussing sex. Relationships. STD's. Sexuality. Definitions of sexual preferences, choices.

 

Describe OUR sexual activities, choices, preferences.

I don't think so, sugar.

+++++++++++++++++++

Drug addicts reach a stage in their addiction they are no longer in control of their choices, driven only by their body's dependency.

A mother who pimps her daughter for what ever self rationalized reason is not good enough to share a cell with a drug addict.

+++++++++++++++++++

Clear?

 

P.S. See that you have children. Enjoy these years, take lots of photos. You will want them to look back on in the future, and remember these days.

Until your daughter has reached the 14 to 16 yr age group, or your son has reached the 16-18 yr age group, you don't have a full appreciation of your "parenthood" role.

 

Don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes; then if you piss them off, they are a mile away and you have their shoes!

[BradAndJanet 70]

Quote

Originally posted by wrnakedru

...Until your daughter has reached the 14 to 16 yr age group, or your son has reached the 16-18 yr age group, you don't have a full appreciation of your "parenthood" role. ...

I could not agree more with that one And we've only done the girl so far Good thoughts!

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by bill&sabrina

Well Dan I gave you the reasons as to why I will tell my children about what me and mom do. Although it will be when I think they are mature enough to understand. Maybe you should try to digest what you read before you make smart remarks about it. I do apologize that I didn't include the fact that it would be done when they reached a level of maturity where they could understand. I will remind you that before you hint that someone doesn't hold anything sacred in their marriage you are a swinger. To the majority of the public you don't hold you marriage sacred either. Remember the old saying about people who live in glass house's.

 

My visual digestion is just fine, thanks. And to be perfectly blunt, I don't believe you necessarily meant when your kids were older, I think you're valiantly trying to backpeddle after discovering that, thus far, you're a lone voice in the wilderness in this thread.

 

Yep, we're swingers, thanks for the reminder. We're also parents, and damned conscientious ones at that. And wouldn't think for a moment to share this intensely personal information about ourselves with our children, at any age.

 

You're comparing the public's opinion of our swinging activities with including your children in what you do? Surely you jest, sir. While the 'majority of the public' would indeed think we're violating our sacred vows, an even greater majority would think you to be sick by verbally sharing that activity with your kids. Our glass walls will take far more stoning than yours, I promise you.

 

Quote

"Your response did make me feel like you were trying to be an ass. How else did you think it would make us feel."

 

How about guilty?

[bear_n_bunny 43]

Originally posted by wrnakedru

That is okay - it is our job as parents to be strong enough to allow them to hate us. It is their job to exercise their expanding psyches in scattershot directions. They do not need or want us to be their friends. They have friends. They need us to be their parents, and not to assuage our own egos by trying to be their friends.

 

That sums up my view of parenting. Thank you for stating it so clearly.

 

Now, I must admit to being a bit confused by this thread. I'm not sure when people are posting about the 15 year old girl who's parent ushered her into the lifestyle (which is wrong on so many levels it's hard to even think about) or telling your kids that you swing or just telling them about sex. Therefore I must refrain from futher comment.

 

There is one thing I can say about the people on this board. They are passionate.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny

 

There is one thing I can say about the people on this board. They are passionate.

 

So true. Few people consider apathy an asset.

[alabamafuntonig 20]

Let’s say you did tell your children about your lifestyle? What would it accomplish! Would they feel better? Or would you? My children may see me an my wife run around the house in our underwear but I'm not going to have my son go pick out a thong for my wife. Some things are private. A parent child relationship does have secrets. We close the bedroom door to make love, we shower alone without them, we watch porno’s in bed alone without them, we don’t give them a beer even thought we have one, etc. There are tons of things children should never learn about their parents . This I think is one of them. I would have a hard enough time explaining to my 7 year old if he caught me and my wife making love imagine if it was someone else... (Henry rubs his temples and hopes they teach this sort of thing at community collage so he can go take a class)

[M&B 21]

About swinging: Haven't, won't. That's my business.

 

About sex: As much as necessary. So far, no pregnancies, no one on base and no outs.

 

In another 5 years, I can let my breath out.

[bill&sabrina 22]

Dan,

I could care less if I am the only person in this thread that feels the way that I do. I'm not backpeddling either. Just clearing up some confusion for the people that are at least nice enough to ONLY say that they don't agree with me on this subject. And if you live in a glass house you live in a glass house. If it makes you feel better to consider yourself less perverse than me so be it. You know my opinion on this subject and no one short of God Almighty is going to change it.

[wrnakedru 38]

Quote

Originally posted by BradAndJanet

I could not agree more with that one And we've only done the girl so far Good thoughts!

 

Found this story - only use this as a last resort!

 

Frustrated Parents Chain Up Wild Teen Boys

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A Lakeland, Fla., woman who told police she would chain up her teenage sons to keep them from committing crime is now behind bars herself.

 

Karen Abe, 35, and her ex-husband, Allen Abe, 61, tethered their 13-year-old and 16-year-old sons to their bed with heavy chains and padlocks from 9:30 p.m. until 6:30 a.m. for about a week, according to a police affidavit. The parents were arrested Saturday and charged with felony child

abuse.

 

But Karen Abe had told authorities she could not control the boys — who were arrested on charges of stealing a neighbor's car — and said that she did not want them back when police released them from a juvenile facility. Chaining them up was the only way to control them, said the mother, who has no past criminal history.