Wife only swings drunk

[doug39 80]

If you want to know more about my situation, look at my "Jealousy" thread on this page.

 

 

Again, we haven't done any swinging yet.

 

My wife only gets crazy horny and wants to swap (and/or have a MMF) when she is drunk. We have sort of discussed it while sober but I don't think my wife would do it sober.

 

She does enjoy sex when sober, but only gets kinky when drunk. For example I could never put it in her ass or get a full blow job to completion unless she is wasted.

 

I worry sometimes if we do go through with swinging (and she or both of us are drunk) we would hate ourselves in the morning.

 

I doubt my wife would even swing sober.

 

Any thoughts?

[jandscincy 16]

I used a bit of alcohol in the few minutes before the man my husband and I were hosting for an MFM arrived because I was so nervous that I was shaking- no regrets, just social nerves. Hey, its been 18 years since I've taken my clothes off with anyone but my doctor or my husband and this body is NOT 19 anymore (I miss you, 19 year old body- you were lovely....)! I had enough to drink to mellow the nerves but not alter the personality.

 

I'm incredibly new to this and likely others with more experience will offer better answers but I will offer my (very, very) limited view: if you even suspect one or both of you will have regrets that alcohol will mask during the heat of the moment then maybe this isn't a great idea for you right now?

 

I try my very hardest to live life with no regrets. Ironically, that's why we are are here! We didn't want to wake up at 80 years old and say, "Oh, man. I really, really wish we had followed through with that dream of sharing each other back in 2011." The flip side is that I try not to get into situations where I suspect on the front end that I may come out the back with regrets. Good luck to you and your wife!

[doug39 80]

jandscincy I sent a private message yesterday...did you get it?

[jandscincy 16]

Doug- I did get your PM. Thanks for the welcome. I'll try to respond soon and I will watch for you and your wife to work through these little issues and then maybe we can talk! I'd want you guys to be as pleased as J and I are with how things are working out!

[doug39 80]

well to be honest, at this point I think the only way we will ever work out our issues is to actually attempt a swing.

 

Talk is cheap; we can go over the rules a million times but actually doing it will be the true test.

[Danielle87 15]

Doug, we are very new to this as well, so take this with a grain of salt if you prefer

 

My boyfriend was VERY nervous before we got started and to be honest, we both had a couple drinks during the initial meetup with our first couple. On the other hand, the male half of the other couple got EXTREMELY drunk and that is not at all appealing, trust me. If your wife won't do it without being drunk, A) it will be a turnoff to the other person/people and B) she will likely resent you if things go farther than she wants.

 

You're right, it probably will help to just go for it and a drink or two might help with nerves, but I would not get your wife drunk before doing it.

[doug39 80]

but I would not get your wife drunk before doing it.

 

Their is only one person that can get my wife drunk - my wife. I don't control her actions.

[john67a 20]

I used a bit of alcohol in the few minutes before the man my husband and I were hosting for an MFM arrived because I was so nervous that I was shaking- no regrets, just social nerves. Hey, its been 18 years since I've taken my clothes off with anyone but my doctor or my husband and this body is NOT 19 anymore (I miss you, 19 year old body- you were lovely....)! I had enough to drink to mellow the nerves but not alter the personality.

 

I'm incredibly new to this and likely others with more experience will offer better answers but I will offer my (very, very) limited view: if you even suspect one or both of you will have regrets that alcohol will mask during the heat of the moment then maybe this isn't a great idea for you right now?

 

I try my very hardest to live life with no regrets. Ironically, that's why we are are here! We didn't want to wake up at 80 years old and say, "Oh, man. I really, really wish we had followed through with that dream of sharing each other back in 2011." The flip side is that I try not to get into situations where I suspect on the front end that I may come out the back with regrets. Good luck to you and your wife!

19 is is just an instant in time and is only a number that we continually worry about, so live life as a pleasant dream and enjoy yourself and stop worrying about the unknown and have fun before you reach a number of real old age. ;-)

[Chicup 42]

If you can only do something drunk you shouldn't do it.

 

Thats my thought.

[MN Tom 251]

What about when she only has a few drinks? Does the idea have appeal then?

 

I have met several gals who become very kinky when they drink, the real key though is how they view that stuff when sober. Are they appalled at it, or is it more of a "nah, I wouldnt do that now, but maybe after a few" type of deal?

 

If someone has to be totally smashed though, Id stay away. A few drinks is one thing, but completely toasted is another.

[weloveeachother 29]

It takes my wife a few drinks to loosen up as well. She isn't disgusted the next day. She gets that sexy little grin when we talk about what happened the night before. Of course, I just slobber all over myself

 

Damn, I love that woman!!!

[VegasLee 1,486]

You have a Jealousy problem and she has to be wasted.

 

You two might want to try golf or something instead.

 

This appears to be a train wreck moving very fast down the tracks from reading your two threads you have started here.

 

Even some of the "attitude" I can see in some of your posts make you a couple we would not want to have an experience with at this time.

 

Maybe you put this on the back burner for awhile and deal with it rather then jumping in as you seem to think you need to do.

[jandscincy 16]

Mr. Weloveeachother- the sexy grin is the best! It is tricky to remove and seems to last for weeks. The "post-game wrap up" as J calls it is nearly as good as the real thing! I am thankful for that because opportunities are a bit few and far between....

[jandscincy 16]

19 is is just an instant in time and is only a number that we continually worry about, so live life as a pleasant dream and enjoy yourself and stop worrying about the unknown and have fun before you reach a number of real old age. ;-)

 

Excellent advice and a good reminder but I really should have spent more time naked in my twenties!!!

[Guest screaminggood]

I believe many people like to be drunk when they do things so that they can blame the alcohol. "Oh, I never would have swung, but I was drunk." Doesn't mean they didn't really want to do it, just that they want/need an excuse to justify it in their own mind.

[doug39 80]

Like I said, we do have good sex when sober, but the wife is just more into it and adventurous after drinking.

 

Thanks for all your advice. The next time the topic of swinging comes up I am going to tell my wife that I feel that the first time we swing we should be sober.

[LFM2 1,483]

Again, we haven't done any swinging yet.

 

My wife only gets crazy horny and wants to swap (and/or have a MMF) when she is drunk. We have sort of discussed it while sober but I don't think my wife would do it sober.

 

She does enjoy sex when sober, but only gets kinky when drunk. For example I could never put it in her ass or get a full blow job to completion unless she is wasted.

 

I worry sometimes if we do go through with swinging (and she or both of us are drunk) we would hate ourselves in the morning.

 

I doubt my wife would even swing sober.

 

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

If you can only do something drunk you shouldn't do it.

 

Thats my thought.

 

You have a Jealousy problem and she has to be wasted.

 

You two might want to try golf or something instead.

 

This appears to be a train wreck moving very fast down the tracks from reading your two threads you have started here.

 

Even some of the "attitude" I can see in some of your posts make you a couple we would not want to have an experience with at this time.

 

Maybe you put this on the back burner for awhile and deal with it rather then jumping in as you seem to think you need to do.

 

Like I said, we do have good sex when sober, but the wife is just more into it and adventurous after drinking.

 

Thanks for all your advice. The next time the topic of swinging comes up I am going to tell my wife that I feel that the first time we swing we should be sober.

 

Hi Doug. Are you seeing a pattern here?

 

I'm genuinely curious about a couple of things.

 

If you get jealous of others and she can't swing unless she's trashed, why are you talking about swinging? Really. We'd would not want to swing with a couple like that. You might be the jealous type, but I get a heavy feeling that you're really wanting this more than you're letting on. In general, if you "get over" your jealousy problem, we still wouldn't want to play because your wife needs to be wasted to have a good time with someone else. Where's the fun in that? If she swings sober and you're jealous, where's the fun in that?

You two need to be able to think and COMMUNICATE more than what you have. Put swinging on a back burner and really talk about this before you go too far. You need to make damn sure this is what you're BOTH wanting to do. I'm not saying never, just give it some time. I'm also curious to hear what Mrs. Doug would have to say about this. Has she had a chance to read your threads or the other threads here?

 

I'm a lot kinkier when I'm drunk, too, but I don't swing drunk. We're those sober (~ 2 drinks apiece) kind of swingers because we wanna remember and be in total control when we're playing. Why wouldn't you want that for yourselves? You're also disrespecting your play partners when you have to be drunk to fuck them. Just giving you something to think about.

[twistedpretzels 100]

You have a Jealousy problem and she has to be wasted.

 

You two might want to try golf or something instead.

 

This appears to be a train wreck moving very fast down the tracks from reading your two threads you have started here.

 

Even some of the "attitude" I can see in some of your posts make you a couple we would not want to have an experience with at this time.

 

Maybe you put this on the back burner for awhile and deal with it rather then jumping in as you seem to think you need to do.

 

Vegas Lee has sage (and oregano) advice. REALLY... think about this more!

[rainbowskye 102]

I couldn't agree more with vegaslee on this one.

 

Me and my guy wouldn't play with someone when they are wasted and we don't drink at all when playing. It is not only a respect thing, it is also a safety issue.

 

Many people can let go of inhibitions when under the influence, but if you have to be under the influence to have a good time there is a problem.

 

In all honesty, I think you want the swinging to happen more than the spouse does and more than you are letting on to it.

 

If you are struggling with jealousy as it is, you don't even need to consider swinging until you can get a grip on that.

 

In addition, if your wife needs to be intoxicated to enjoy sex, well that is a major red flag.

 

It sounds like you guys might need counseling or something. I am not saying that to be funny, I am saying that with sincerity.

[Just Passing By 140]

I am not strictly prohibionist , The occasion glass of wine , or distilled Kentucky beverage during the relaxed social stage either in meeting , or pre playtime can be ok , but not mandatory. It would not be uncommon for vanilla socialing.

 

But when it is : a. Nesecarry to be wasted to want to ( xyz ) b. Want to do (abc) when wasted , yet be opposed when sober.

 

There are communication and relationship issues.

Underlieing sexuality issues.

Quite possably alcohol issues.

 

Not trying to be mean , but adding extra people before getting a handle / understanding on these things would be throwing kerosene on the fire.

[doug39 80]

Well the whole reason I am here is because I am curious about swinging.

my wife suggested it about a year ago and we did do a FFM but I really didn't enjoy it.

Yes I have jealousy issues and I really don't want to see my wife fuck and suck another man or do a MMF. But if this is something she wants to try, I must go along with it.

 

We are both 48 years old and my wife feels that she only has a few great wild sexual years left. One thing that she always wanted to try was a MMF. My wife is a strong woman who gets what she wants. I fear that if I am not one of the guys in her MMF, she will go out and find the people that will give her what she wants and leave me.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Well the whole reason I am here is because I am curious about swinging.

my wife suggested it about a year ago and we did do a FFM but I really didn't enjoy it.

Yes I have jealousy issues and I really don't want to see my wife fuck and suck another man or do a MMF. But if this is something she wants to try, I must go along with it.

 

We are both 48 years old and my wife feels that she only has a few great wild sexual years left. One thing that she always wanted to try was a MMF. My wife is a strong woman who gets what she wants. I fear that if I am not one of the guys in her MMF, she will go out and find the people that will give her what she wants and leave me.

 

This whole posting shows you really know nothing about swinging and have no business trying it.

 

No one "has" to do what another person wants. If they feel that way they have already lost the real meaning of their relationship.

 

You two need to forget this idea and work on your relationship.

 

If you feel you "have" to do something then chances are you will do it and you are going to lose in the long run anyway.

 

What you are talking about is not swinging, it is mind games and manipulation within a bad relationship.

 

I hope for the sake of your marriage you two do the right thing here.

[Alura 2,777]

Well the whole reason I am here is because I am curious about swinging.

my wife suggested it about a year ago and we did do a FFM but I really didn't enjoy it.

Yes I have jealousy issues and I really don't want to see my wife fuck and suck another man or do a MMF. But if this is something she wants to try, I must go along with it.

 

We are both 48 years old and my wife feels that she only has a few great wild sexual years left. One thing that she always wanted to try was a MMF. My wife is a strong woman who gets what she wants. I fear that if I am not one of the guys in her MMF, she will go out and find the people that will give her what she wants and leave me.

 

I think you have two, maybe three, choices, Doug.

 

You can go along with what she wants; I think that's what you usually do. Or,

 

You can refuse to go along with it and see if she leaves you. Or,

 

You can tell her you won't put up with her selfishness and alcohol abuse one minute longer, and walk out the door.

 

At 48, y'all might want to discuss these options at length. It's a tough time to start a new life.

 

Alura

[doug39 80]

Yes it is true that I mostly go along with what my wife wants. And yes this a tough age to start over. I have many divorced friends in their 50's who are lonely and miserable.

 

I guess I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

[shrevecouple 252]

I understand you love your wife and want to please her but you also deserve the same respect. She's not wrong for having or even wanting this fantasy but she would be wrong to think you are obligated to provide it.

 

If you are a couple contemplating swinging then as a couple the choices should be made. Your fears and concerns should override her fantasy because of her love for you.

 

I think many of us are guilty in getting caught up in our own wants at times, I know I have. I have looked back on things that I made and ass out of myself because I thought it was what I "needed". I sincerely hope you don't ignore your gut on this and sit her down and explain to her that this is something you aren't comfortable with. I hope if she has been pushing for this despite your discomfort that she "wakes up".

[LFM2 1,483]

Well the whole reason I am here is because I am curious about swinging.

my wife suggested it about a year ago and we did do a FFM but I really didn't enjoy it.

Yes I have jealousy issues and I really don't want to see my wife fuck and suck another man or do a MMF. But if this is something she wants to try, I must go along with it.

 

We are both 48 years old and my wife feels that she only has a few great wild sexual years left. One thing that she always wanted to try was a MMF. My wife is a strong woman who gets what she wants. I fear that if I am not one of the guys in her MMF, she will go out and find the people that will give her what she wants and leave me.

 

Doug, if you didn't enjoy the FFM, why in the world would you want to do it again? That's like going to a dentist and not having Novocaine. And, NO, you DO NOT have to along with it. Dude, get a backbone and stand up for yourself. You need to have a say-so in whats going on in your sex life. You really need to fix your own relationship before you even think about going outside your marriage for more fun. If you've ever read any threads here, there are more than enough to prove that us successful swingers have GREAT marriages. We do this as a selfless act. Not selfish act. I want my husband to have fun. I want him to enjoy his sexual life.

 

I'm 48 and I know I have more than a few years of sexual fun left in me. YEARS!! What follows in your paragraph sounds like pure manipulation to me. If she goes outside your marriage to find those things, then you have to decide what to do with that. I wouldn't let fear stand in my way. Life is too short to live in fear.

 

Yes it is true that I mostly go along with what my wife wants. And yes this a tough age to start over. I have many divorced friends in their 50's who are lonely and miserable.

 

I guess I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

 

I don't even know what to say to this. Maybe it's time to stand up to your wife and let her know exactly what your feeling instead of letting her run the show. Maybe it's time to get some unbiased help from a professional therapist on your marriage. Doug, we're trying to save you from a train-wreck. swinging is only going to magnify what's going on in your marriage. If you go in with trouble and drama, it's only going to get worse. It's not fair to you, and it's definitely not fair to any play partners that you'd come into contact with.

[WeHoos 41]

We have been in the lifestyle a very long time and we have seen you situation time and time again.

 

Unfortunately they have all ended the same way, separated or divorced.

 

Swinging can do one of two things for a relationship.

 

1. Make it incredibly strong.

2. Tear it apart.

 

If anyone in the lifestyle has to rely on being trashed to swing, you should not do it. As for us, we stay away from people that have to be trashed to get down.

 

We do not want to be around when the crap hits the fan. And if one of the couple is trashed, it usually happens in public where a big scene is made.

[doug39 80]

I guess I will just wait and see if we can even find a couple to swing with.

 

And if we do, I will insist we are sober when we do it.

 

I will take it from there.

 

Again thank you all for your help in this matter.

[rainbowskye 102]

Swinging shouldn't be an option right now. It should be the farthest thing from your mind.

 

If you are having jealously issues, and didn't enjoy a ffm, you are going to be more miserable after a mfm.

 

 

Anyone having to be wasted to have sex, shouldn't be having sex in the first place.

 

If your wife is so selfish that she always gets what she wants, that's a whole different issue .

 

A marriage is a two way street, it is about compromise. If one person isn't comfortable doing something, it shouldn't be done.

 

If one person is so selfish they would step outside the marriage for what they want, they shouldn't be married.

 

If you two can't compromise, and you can't control your jealously, and she has to he wasted to play, you guys need to invest in a marriage counselor, alcoholics anonymous, and alanon. Not being funny, being dead serious. It sounds like she might be mentally abusive toward you.

[doug39 80]

Swinging shouldn't be an option right now. It should be the farthest thing from your mind..

 

Who are you to tell us what should be on our minds.

 

If you are having jealously issues, and didn't enjoy a ffm, you are going to be more miserable after a mfm..

 

You don't know that. I fantasize about my wife doing a MMF everyday.

 

Anyone having to be wasted to have sex, shouldn't be having sex in the first place..

 

She doesn't HAVE to be wasted to have sex. Booze makes her more wild when she has sex. We had hot sober sex this past Sunday morning.

 

 

If your wife is so selfish that she always gets what she wants, that's a whole different issue ..

 

She isn't selfish. She is a strong woman who knows what she wants. She is the greatest. She earns 4X what I do and is the greatest person I know. She would do anything for anyone and has raised 10's of thousands for several charities.

 

 

A marriage is a two way street, it is about compromise. If one person isn't comfortable doing something, it shouldn't be done..

 

It depends who has more to lose if the marriage ends.

 

If one person is so selfish they would step outside the marriage for what they want, they shouldn't be married..

 

OK that may be true.

 

If you two can't compromise, and you can't control your jealously, and she has to he wasted to play, you guys need to invest in a marriage counselor, alcoholics anonymous, and alanon. Not being funny, being dead serious. It sounds like she might be mentally abusive toward you.

 

Come on lighten up. My father was an alcoholic and I was through all that Alanon crap as a kid. AA is a bunch of dry drunks talking shit. Again my wife doesn't have to be drunk to fuck.

 

I know your reply....I am in denial.

[shrevecouple 252]

You did end your original post on this thread with "Any thoughts". These are just everyone's thoughts based on your input. We don't believe you should force yourself to do something that you aren't ok with. You don't seem to really want to have sex with other women and don't really want your wife having sex with other men. You seem to think that your wife is gonna do this with or without you and you expect others to believe this is a selfless woman?

 

We can lead you to water but sure can't make you drink! It seems you have made up your mind you'd rather be miserable than alone. Good luck. I hope for the best for you.

[doug39 80]

You did end your original post on this thread with "Any thoughts". .

 

OK you are right. I guess I was really looking for some support.

 

I just felt like many people were attacking my wife. She is a great person and she probably won't choose swinging over our marriage but I have learned from the past that if she doesn't get her way she isn't easy to live with.

[shrevecouple 252]

I think you are getting support. The support comes in concern for your well being as a couple not just for one half of that couple. Encouraging you to move ahead (knowing the details of your situation) is like encouraging you to play Russion Roulette. I for one would not cheer someone on playing RR and hope for the best!

[john67a 20]

Swinging shouldn't be an option right now. It should be the farthest thing from your mind.

 

If you are having jealously issues, and didn't enjoy a ffm, you are going to be more miserable after a mfm.

 

 

Anyone having to be wasted to have sex, shouldn't be having sex in the first place.

 

If your wife is so selfish that she always gets what she wants, that's a whole different issue .

 

A marriage is a two way street, it is about compromise. If one person isn't comfortable doing something, it shouldn't be done.

 

If one person is so selfish they would step outside the marriage for what they want, they shouldn't be married.

 

If you two can't compromise, and you can't control your jealously, and she has to he wasted to play, you guys need to invest in a marriage counselor, alcoholics anonymous, and alanon. Not being funny, being dead serious. It sounds like she might be mentally abusive toward you.

Compromise:

A settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

 

As you can see, to compromise is the opposite of what you are suggesting, what you are sujesting is a stalemate situation that will only create more friction within their partnership, I am in a similar situation and it has a negative effect on our sex life. John

[rainbowskye 102]

Who are you to tell us what should be on our minds.

 

 

 

You don't know that. I fantasize about my wife doing a MMF everyday.

 

 

 

She doesn't HAVE to be wasted to have sex. Booze makes her more wild when she has sex. We had hot sober sex this past Sunday morning.

 

 

 

 

She isn't selfish. She is a strong woman who knows what she wants. She is the greatest. She earns 4X what I do and is the greatest person I know. She would do anything for anyone and has raised 10's of thousands for several charities.

 

 

 

 

It depends who has more to lose if the marriage ends.

 

 

 

OK that may be true.

 

 

 

Come on lighten up. My father was an alcoholic and I was through all that Alanon crap as a kid. AA is a bunch of dry drunks talking shit. Again my wife doesn't have to be drunk to fuck.

 

I know your reply....I am in denial.

 

Your previous posts contradict what you have replied here with. It is my perception from your own words you only want to hear words of encouragement to do something you don't want to do. I simply won't contribute to a train-wreck in waiting. Do as you wish, and enjoy the wreck.

 

 

 

Any thoughts?

 

It seems as if you only want to hear thoughts that will make you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. However, in this case, telling you such thoughts would not be fair, as there are many red flags to all that you have posted in multiple threads that indicate this is a train wreck about to happen. I’d rather someone tell me the truth based on their perception of what I have posted then to encourage me to do something that is going to cause more damage than good.

 

 

 

My wife only gets crazy horny and wants to swap (and/or have a MMF) when she is drunk. We have sort of discussed it while sober but I don't think my wife would do it sober.

 

She does enjoy sex when sober, but only gets kinky when drunk. For example I could never put it in her ass or get a full blow job to completion unless she is wasted.

 

I worry sometimes if we do go through with swinging (and she or both of us are drunk) we would hate ourselves in the morning.

I doubt my wife would even swing sober.

 

Any thoughts?

 

This indicates a problem. If you have to be drunk to do anything, you shouldn’t be doing it. It is that simple. If she has to be drunk to ‘swing’ then it isn’t for her. If she is drinking on a regular basis to have sex, there is a more serious problem.

 

Yes I have jealousy issues and I really don't want to see my wife fuck and suck another man or do a MMF. But if this is something she wants to try, I must go along with it. .

 

You must go along with it? This is a sign of control. It isn’t a sign of two people agreeing to do something because they both want to do it.

 

One thing that she always wanted to try was a MMF. My wife is a strong woman who gets what she wants. .

It has nothing to do with being strong. If a person has to get what they want, this is a sign of being selfish, It doesn’t matter how much money one puts into charities, this is still a sign of being selfish. I for one do not disrespect my mate that way.

 

 

 

I fear that if I am not one of the guys in her MMF, she will go out and find the people that will give her what she wants and leave me.

This is either a case of someone being so selfish they would risk their marriage or simply someone who doesn’t care enough about their spouse’s feelings to not act on it. Either way, it isn’t healthy.

 

 

Though a post in a previous thread contradicts this statement by you:

 

She always trusts me, lets me live my life and supports everything I want to do. I do need to let my insecurities go and let her do the same.

 

Isn’t a part of a healthy relationship to also understand things you don’t want to do?

 

 

 

 

From Jealousy Thread :

 

 

 

My wife and I have discussed swinging but have yet attempted to try it. My wife really wants to have sex with two guys at the same time ( another guy and myself). We act out this fantasy with dildos, but a few things bother me about really doing it.

I don't know if I can handle my wife "getting another guy off" and I worry that another man might get my wife off better than me.

 

If you don’t think you can handle it, simply don’t do it. It won’t make you feel any better in the end, it will only make you miserable, unless, you want to be miserable.

 

The FMF threesome that my wife and I had with her friend wasn't planned and not really that enjoyable for me.

 

If this was not enjoyable for you and in most FFM the male is the center of attention, do you really think you will be able to enjoy your wife being the center of attention in a MFM?

 

My wife then told me to get a rubber and fuck her friend, I did the friend doggie style for a minute then went limp.

 

If this happened with another woman, do you think you would be able to stay erect while doing a MFM?

 

 

I believe that my wife only wanted me to fuck her friend so she can get her MMF fantasy. This way it is hard for me to say no to it since I fooled around with her friend.

 

If this is so, this is a selfish and manipulative act. If a mate is manipulative to get what they want, this is a sign of mental abuse.

[shrevecouple 252]

Originally Posted by doug39

My wife then told me to get a rubber and fuck her friend, I did the friend doggie style for a minute then went limp

 

If this happened with another woman, do you think you would be able to stay erect while doing a MFM?

 

You know rainbow this completely slipped my mind. This is something to really consider. Food for thought if you may. My husband had this issue with our MFM. Up down up down, anxiety was playing tricks on him. Although he had no jealousy issues he was very upset over this. It threatened his manhood for it to happen in front of another guy.

 

If this happens again to you Doug, do you think she would stop in middle of the action if that's what you needed her to do? You could be left feeling sidelined and basically watching another guy having sex with your wife.

[rainbowskye 102]

You know rainbow this completely slipped my mind. This is something to really consider. Food for thought if you may. My husband had this issue with our MFM. Up down up down, anxiety was playing tricks on him. Although he had no jealousy issues he was very upset over this. It threatened his manhood for it to happen in front of another guy.

 

If this happens again to you Doug, do you think she would stop in middle of the action if that's what you needed her to do? You could be left feeling sidelined and basically watching another guy having sex with your wife.

 

I know if my guy would have had issues it would have been with the mfm. But thankfully we had no issues.

 

This would damage my ego if I were unable to perform. If we were doing a fmf and I wasn't able to, i'd certainly let him keep going. However, in this case I wouldn't recommend it at all because there are so many red flags. What if she kept going and jealously kicked in and emotions ran high? Not good.

 

I wouldn't feel right encouraging someone to try something who has so many red flags. It would only be setting them up for disaster, and I'm not the one to do that.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Many have given great advise here but if you look, he is not really looking for any advise.

 

Most here agree from experience this is a couple that really has no business stepping into the Lifestyle at this point in their relationship.

 

His replies, a few times is ok, we will just find partners and swing.

 

He is not looking for truth, he is looking for us to tell him the world is great and that he should jump right in. Any of us with a clue are not going to do that.

 

There are many others that come here really looking for advise. That would be the ones we should spend our time and efforts on.