No single males? Why not??

[JnCC 24]

If Iwere a single male the last thing in the world I would want to do is swing given the attitudes of a lot of the couples and the utter lack of value that is placed on my ilk that is generally promoted in "the life style". I actually find it rather amusing that couples and EBF's often will place themselves so far above single males in swinging.

The thing that everybody needs to remember is that no matter what our current "relationship status" is, it's only a heartbeat away from changing drastically. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm at that point in life where I see guys my age starting to drop dead, or come down with ailments that affect their ability to have or enjoy sex. I also see women starting to go through menopause, or undergoing surgery that leaves them unwilling to be seen naked by other people. Sometimes, there are no health issues whatsoever...one of them simply loses interest in sex years before the other. The bottom line is the same...somebody is left with physical needs and desires, but no partner to satisfy them.

 

By the same token, I date frequently in the vanilla world. And while I'm not exactly "the catch of the day," there are usually a few reasonably attractive, open-minded women who are trying to cut me from the pack. I suspect that sooner or later one of 'em will do precisely that, and Viola!, a formerly "despicable single guy" will become half of a "fun, dynamic couple."

 

Better get us NOW, people! Before you have to pass the scrutiny of our new wives/girlfriends...

 

On another note, you're right...the only thing that made some kids popular in school was the fact that they believed they were popular, and they had us believeing it too. Going to my 20-year high school reunion and seeing what losers some of them had become cleared a lot of that up for me...

[SBcpl 16]

JustAskJulie said:

So are you a single male? Cuz your profile says Couple, yet your post leads me to believe that "my ilk" is referring to single males.

Hi Julie...

 

If you reread his post the sentence you're referring to says...

Mr.Hyde69 said:

If I were a single male the last thing in the world I would want to do is swing given the attitudes of a lot of the couples and the utter lack of value that is placed on my ilk that is generally promoted in "the life style".

I've added the emphasis to the postulate that I think he intended to apply to the entire rest of that sentence. When he says "my ilk" he's speaking as though he were a single male, even though in real life he is not.

 

But that's just my interpretation.

[Mr.Hyde69 16]

You need to re-read my post. I said if I "were' a single male. I was speaking in the first person as if I were one. As far as your suspicions regarding my marital status, my wife of 12 years would probably have something to say about that one. I actually find it a bit strange that one would automatically assume/imply I was possibly misrepresenting myself. Though I'm painfully aware of how rampant misrepresentation is within the online swinger community(another reason for deactivating our profiles) I don't see the motivation for anyone doing so here. This is a message board,not a personals site.

You don't have to be a single male to defend one. I am a male and I'm only a divorce or death away from being a single one so it is not necessarily too far of a stretch of the imagination to be able to put myself in ones place.

[tribbles 490]

WoodyInSoCal said:

Thank you Mrs-naughty, I am new to the blog world and probably haven't figured out how to make myself clearly understood.

Woody,

I've been wandering around message boards for awhile now and there is NO way not to be misunderstood at times. The lack of voice tone and body language leads to a difficult time with being clearly understood. Don't sweat it, just correct it when necessary and move on.

 

As for the topic of single males....I LOVE them...there just is not enough time to meet them all! And I do want to go to clubs and meet couples as well, since that will be more fun for both of us.

 

Woody has handled himself so well on this thread, we just might have to try out his parties. (Although we are such newbies I don't know if we would fit in).

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Thanks for clearing that up. As tribbles said it's impossible to not be misunderstood at times, and I'm sure that reading your post you can see where I got confused.

[SBcpl 16]

tribbles said:

Woody has handled himself so well on this thread, we just might have to try out his parties.

We're pleased to take credit for having introduced Woody to this Board. And, based on our first hand experience, we can attest to the fact that he is every bit the gentleman who goes far out of his way to ensure that a lady's every desire is fulfilled.

[marvelousmarv 15]

Sometimes we just wonder "if you're such a great guy, why don't you have a wife or girlfriend"

 

Ok, I've heard a lot of valid reasons so far but that one just is so 1800s. I don't swing primarily because of people who throw around statements like that.

 

I have nothing against people who say they prefer not to meet with single men because they don't feel they have nothing to contribute to their swinging experience, but when you start criticizing why we are single, you are insulting those of us who had to make hard decisions concerning family or business responsibilities and those of us who became single due to the death of a loved one.

 

And who says that because we are men we HAVE to find someone else after a breakup or tragedy? I don't see you making that same judgement about women. Don't go there with us unless you want to have your reasons for swinging questioned as well.

About Time!! How come we get this crap every time a single tries to get involved? As a single male that lost the only woman that I ever wanted to be married to because of her untimely death, I can only agree. The other comments that I have been reading sure do try to explain the vast majority of opinions about us guys that are not married. To be honest, at my age I don't want to be restricted or sadled with a woman that has screwball priorities other then Mine! At my income level and age, it no longer matters what others think. It sometimes makes me wonder how any of you ever held a meaningful relationship period.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

marvelousmarv said:

About Time!! How come we get this crap every time a single tries to get involved? As a single male that lost the only woman that I ever wanted to be married to because of her untimely death, I can only agree. The other comments that I have been reading sure do try to explain the vast majority of opinions about us guys that are not married. To be honest, at my age I don't want to be restricted or saddled with a woman that has screwball priorities other then Mine! At my income level and age, it no longer matters what others think. It sometimes makes me wonder how any of you ever held a meaningful relationship period.

 

Quote

How come we get this crap every time a single tries to get involved?

Maybe you are looking for the wrong couples or maybe your approach isn't right.

 

Quote

At my income level and age, it no longer matters what others think.

Why should it ever matter? Be who you are, Fuck what others think.

 

Quote

It sometimes makes me wonder how any of you ever held a meaningful relationship period.

Kind of a bitter statement isn't it?

 

We are all here for a common interest. I think you will find MOST here are open to single men joining the discussions and some are open to single men period, as long as they are honest & respectful.

[curiousagain 326]

I don't think it sounds bitter. I think he is just pointing out that if someone is so quick to judge and so inflexible in their perceptions and narrow minded in their beliefs it would be difficult to meet someone and have a meaningful relationship. If a person thinks only losers aren't presently married they have a problem of perception.

 

I will be the first to admit that far too many single males earn and deserve their bad reputation. But, it's true that jerks come in all genders, sexual orientations, and marriage status. Some of the biggest jerks I have met in the lifestyle both male and female, have been in a married couple relationship . I know some married males in the lifestyle that if not part of a couple couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a sack full of Fifty dollar bills. Yet, they act as if they are "better" than single males and treat their wives as property. I have had couples contact me and send me photos that made me nauseous rather than intrigued, much less horny, then act offended and send abusive emails when I politely declined their invitation. Could these have just been 15 year olds getting their jollies? Perhaps. But then, so might many of the "single males" acting like jerks on the internet.

 

What about the clubs? I hear of couples arriving then playing separately as if they are singles, but then the male brought a female so he has his ticket and thinks he is owed sex by females who aren't interested. But, they're married, so it's OK. After all, he's married, he couldn't be a jerk. I read of couples complaining that they can't find a single male who can "get it up" with the wife. If the only common denominator in these serial scenarios of failure to perform is the couple, then maybe it isn't the single males that are the problem. Is the male acting as if he owns the wife or the single male? Maybe this is a turn off to the single male. Perhaps the wife is not as attractive to the single male as to the husband. Love is blind and often deaf, lust is not. It is far easier to decry the sad state of affairs with the population of single males than to stare into the mirror and search for the problem.

 

What makes a single swinging male/female different from a married swinging male/female other than a mate? Not a lot. They are jerks or good people irregardless of their marital status. Try to judge people individually and not because they are part of a group. And, realize that different people will have different perspectives, partially because of their own experiences, and we are all at least partially to credit or blame for our own experiences. If you have met mostly jerks and another couple have met mostly great guys maybe they are doing things differently than you or they have something to offer that you don't. If you are having to rent an apartment and buy a convert to get laid and somebody else is not, maybe there's a reason for that. We often find just what we expect to find in any situation or group and are surprised at others who find something entirely different under the same circumstances. Sometimes it's just in how you look at it or what you look for.

[dirtwr04 15]

Here is what happens at a club allowing single guys. There will be a lot of couples talking with each other and having a good time, some couples "intimately" playing around (mostly by themselves sometimes with another couple), a handful of well mannered, civil, respectful single guys who are hoping to get lucky and a significant number of single guys who will swarm a couple like flies on shit if they are engaged in any affectionate embrace even if it is only making out and some petting. Single men tend to invade the girl's comfort zone and or touch without invitation or permission and or make inappropriate comments. Single guys tend to think that all women in the club are there for the sole purpose of being f**ked by them.

 

I have to respect a guy who acknowledges me and treats my girl with the respect she deserves. She's not into guys (other than me) but I know she's hot and I can't blame a guy for appreciating her, however, hell will freeze over before I allow a guy to touch her without her permission. What single guys typically fail to realize is couples tend to respect the sacred feminine, women are treated like goddesses and their boyfriends or husbands enjoy the benefits. Single guys often treat women like meat confusing sexual confidence with whorishness. Lets be honest, these girls can get laid anywhere, anytime - these girls don't need a single guy to grace them with his presence. If a girl wants some cock she can get it from the guy she came with (who tends to respect her), from some other girl's guy who will also tend to respect her, or she can get it from some single guy who treats her like shit. If you were a girl who would you chose. There are a scant few who would pick number three. That number is further reduced becuase there are a lot of girls who only want to play with girls. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason - because their are a statistically significant number of a population that exhibit some trait, not to say their aren't decent single guys out there, it is just that they are so out numbered by jerks who make the girls uncomfortable. After seeing the difference between clubs that allow single guys and those that don't, we will not go to an event with single guys unless they are sponsored by a couple. There is no benefit for us to go to a venue where single guys are allowed but there are a lot of benefits for us as a couple at events where they are not allowed. A lot of couples feel the same way which is evident at clubs which have restricted nights - check out the attendance at the same club on a "no single guys" night and there will be a lot more couples and single girls. If a single guy wants to be successful here are some tips. One, befriend the guy she came with. Two, treat her like a goddess. Three, never, never, never invader her personal space or touch her without her permission. Four, the time to get with her is not when she is already being intimate with someone, it was an hour prior to that when she was on the dance floor or at the bar. Five, go with a sense of humor, and humility because even if you follow my tips and are good looking you will probably go through a lot of rejection - and like it or not the hotter the girl the more likely a single guy will get rejected.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

curiousagain said:

I don't think it sounds bitter. I think he is just pointing out that if someone is so quick to judge and so inflexible in their perceptions and narrow minded in their beliefs it would be difficult to meet someone and have a meaningful relationship. If a person thinks only losers aren't presently married they have a problem of perception.

 

Curious,

My point on being bitter was that he said he wonders if Any of us has ever had a meaningful relationship.

 

That is a bit all inclusive don't ya think?

 

There are plenty on this board who are very friendly and helpful with just about everyone here. There are plenty here who have very solid meaningful relationships.

Because some are not open to single men is no reason to judge or attack their character or relationship. Painting everyone with the same brush is also niave.

[curiousagain 326]

Dirtwr04, I don't blame you for not going to a club that allows singles. That isn't what you seek so why put up with any aggravation whatsoever about it? From all of the complaints I have seen on here about clubs, I have no interest in attending one, period, much less as a single male. Just in foursome situations, I have seen married males treat the female I came with as if they had no respect for them. They had an attitude that they were owed whatever they wanted. I don't tolerate that kindof behavior either and I completely understand your feeling onit. I am sorry you chose to create a new ID rather than use your real one.

 

Mrs. Naughty, I think he just meant the people who think because someone isn't married at this moment, they can't get married. I may be wrong, but that's the way I understood it.

[dirtwr04 15]

Curious Again,

 

I'm not sure what you are talking about re: new ID vs. real one, I am new to this site and fairly new to the lifestyle. Please do not mistake my observations and preferrences about clubs to be complaints. The clubs have provided me a place to explore myself and my girl and our relationship in ways we couldn't comprehend. I think some of them are really great. Even the ones that allow single guys.

 

My post was not meant to offend just voice and opinion based on circumstances we've had. The last club I went to I met a guy who wanted to get with my GF. The s.guy seemed decent and we appreciated his approach even though he didn't fit her desires, after all, we are all there for some variation of the same reason.

 

I know perfectly well that 1) assholes come in all statuses, 2) we are or were all single at some time and 3) there are a higher number per capita of single guys who can't seem to behave. For us, it is not worth it to go where their are a lot of single guys - don't get me wrong, couples don't do it for my GF either, but we have had a lot of good experiences talking with them, and being around them and my girl has never been literally scared of them the way she has been when single guys sit down next to us, get two inches from her, whip out their dick and try to stroke off on top of her in a circle (not to say a girl, or attached male/couple can't do something to scare her or turn her stomache, just that it hasn't happened and we believe it won't happen at least not frequently) which we can't say the same for single guys. Some single guys appear to be normal, but their seems to us to be a disproportionate number of guys who appear to be sick - they tends to have a glassy eyed stare as they are jerking off two inches from a girl's face like if they just stick it in her mouth she WILL want to suck them off because they are such studs - there are a lot of behaviors that single guys at clubs do that border on sexual assault which gives decent single guys a bad name. When a girl (or anyone for that matter) is sexually assaulted or harrassed they feel violated and it really screws up the mood. Most girls who go to these clubs have a higher degree of sexual openness and don't have a lot of the sexual hang ups common in mainstream society. That doesn't mean they want to suck off everyone in the club. Most of these girls are very confident and have no qualms about asking (or demanding ) what they want - if they wanted cum in their hair from four guys they'd simply say you, you, you and you come with me. They need to feel safe and secure and in control and choose who to "play" with and how far to take things, not be thrust upon.

 

Fact: Couples and single girls can make unwanted advances to the point of taking away control from the receipient/other girl/couple.

Fact: It doesn't happen nearly as often with couples and single girls as with single guys.

Fact: Some single guys will be lumped in with the bad apples who even if they don't outnumber decent single guys they appear to based on the severity and harshness of their bad behavior.

 

I don't know your personal preferences and I try to live and let live but consider going going to a club with a girl you really care about - it may open your eyes to a whole new world and you may see things from a woman's point of view regarding single guys. You will probably feel like you want her to feel sexually free what ever her preference and comfortable not subjected to a facial or gang bang. Sometimes as guys we tend to forget that we don't have to deal with being less physically powerful. How many guys do you know carry mace? How many girls? I think you'd agree they live with more fear than you or I. Single guys make the girls and by extention the guys they came with, uncomfortable at a rate many find unacceptable.

 

Someone before me said She is A, He is B the other guy is C. For me the other girl is C but you catch my drift. I'm sure not everyone subscribes to that formula but the experiences I've had with my girl and another girl were about us far more so than the other girl (not something I would have believe prior to experiencing it). From talking with other couples this sentiment is often shared. Yes we treat the girls we meet with respect and are attentive to their needs too but to be honest I can't remember what any of them look like even though they were a part of some of my most interesting experiences in my life. Prior to my enlightenment, I thought cool, I'd love to bang two chicks. It was all about my fantasy. After having my eyes opened, the fantasy is the physically the same but now it's all about her and to a slightly lesser extent all about us, but not so much about me. Don't get me wrong, it feels pretty cool to have 2 girls rocking your world, but it just can't compare to the feeling when that experience is with someone who loves you. It the feeling is so much more intense because of the degree of trust she places in me and it makes me humbled and feel honored. For myself and my GF, hooking up with single girls makes us feel like a team and brings us closer together. We get to experience something we both enjoy and at the end of the night, she feels good I am going home with her - our relationship stronger, I feel lucky to be in a relationship where I can be free to be me, how great is it to drive down the road and catch my girl looking at some hottie, or have her catch me looking and not neither of us feels threatened or jealous (it took me a little while to accept that she would be mad if I was selfish and didn't point out some hottie and didn't give her the opportunity to look too), nor do we have to lie or make excuses. We can just be happy knowing we think alike. Most girls I've been with would feel bad if they caught me looking at another. I'd feel bad for making them feel bad. There are a lot of power issues with sex and a lot of empowerment issues. Jealosy is definitely an "issue" magnifier in my book and something I'm glad I don't have to deal with. It allows me to get on with enjoying her and myself in way's I didn't think possible. Swinging requires a lot more trust in your better half than most people can stand, and is directly related to the likelihood swinging will enhance a relationship or destroy it on a one for one basis. If everyone trusted their make like successful swingers do, there'd be a lot more love and love making and the world would be a better place.

 

PS I like your tag line.

My favorite is.

Everything Affects Everything Else.

[midlvacpl 15]

We gave the single males a shot for a brief period. We received more than 300 dick pics the first week and a ton of "dump your husband and let me show you how a real man fucks!" We are into sharing and watching each other and, as one of the other responders put it, the single guy rarely brings anything to the table other than testosterone.

 

Just our $.02

[curiousagain 326]

Great post dirtwr04. Of course I am a little prejudiced, a lot of what you posted, I have posted in some form in the past.

 

I said the majority of single males in the lifestyle earn their reputation. I have several friends in the lifestyle and I am privey to their problems with single males as a whole. If I was part of a couple in the lifestyle I would do what many couples who do occasionally play with single males do and block them. They contact ones they are interested. It is just the easiest to do. A friend of mine read off some emails they had gotten in just one day and I was ready to hunt them down and make them apologize to his wife. Good grief where do these people come from!!

 

I have "filled out a foursome" for some friends on a few occasions. Either going with a single female or being invited by the couple who had also invited a single female. I've seen good and bad behavior from the males of the couples. I think just like some single guys think because they paid to get in a club or join a website they are entitled to whatever they want, some males in couples feel that way because "they brought a woman".

 

One reason I would be hesitant to go to a club even with a female friend/lover/wife whatever is because of scenarios you have described. Are these people retarded?? Don't they get thrown out or something?

 

You bring up a very very imortant point I have tried to get across to so many people. You have to put yourself in the woman's shoes. Here she is, she is the one that decides yes or no most of the time. It's her market so to speak. She is the less powerful physically. Why would she want someone without manners, or who smells bad or she is afraid might hurt her?? Besides, she isn't going to really enjoy herself unless she feels safe and doesn't have part of her attention taken by looking out for her safety. And, if she isn't going to enjoy herself, what's the use for either one of you? While I am on a soapbox why in the world would a male of a couple be ok with a single guy or couple if he thought it was even remotely putting the female in danger either physically or just in harrasement? I just don't understand people sometimes. I know and have met quite a few swinging women. Trust me, they will tell you what they want and if they want it from you, they'll let you know. There is absolutely no need to be the pursuer in a swinging situation. I know in the vanilla world that is our role but not in the swinging world. Maybe that's it, they just become super pursuers instead of changing gears and waiting. I don't know. I wish I had some advice or instructions or magic wand that would change it, but I don't. I have been accused of "not being interested" because I am so laid back and trying to make sure they know the ball is in their court. But, I would rather take a chance on that as take a chance that someone saw me as a jerk or worse yet a danger to them.

 

I might give a club a shot one day, but not just yet. I have been invited to go with some couples but not just yet.

Thanks again for a great post.

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

we just might have to try out his parties

Please consider it. I'm sure you would have loads of fun, even if you just visited with the other party goers and didn't play at all.

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

SBcpl said:

We're pleased to take credit for having introduced Woody to this Board. And, based on our first hand experience, we can attest to the fact that he is every bit the gentleman who goes far out of his way to ensure that a lady's every desire is fulfilled.

I aim to please! Thanks for the delightful recommendation.

 

By the way, for those of you who haven't made the acquaintance of SBcpl, please say hello to them. They are wonderful! ! ! especially Mrs SBcpl.

[SBcpl 16]

In Post #131 at 04-17-2005, 06:14 PM—

WoodyInSoCal said:

I hope you will all remember that males are raised to be the pursuers. We are told to step up and offer ourselves to those females that we find attractive. ...

 

... Swinging is supposed to be primarily for the females. Us males get rewarded by first pleasing the woman we are with and then receiving her gifts in return.

In Post #168 at 04-21-2005, 11:59 AM—

curiousagain said:

You have to put yourself in the woman's shoes. Here she is, she is the one that decides yes or no most of the time. It's her market so to speak. ...

 

... There is absolutely no need to be the pursuer in a swinging situation. I know in the vanilla world that is our role but not in the swinging world. Maybe that's it, they just become super pursuers instead of changing gears and waiting.

Oh, dear! It sounds like you two are in violent agreement. Is that allowed on this thread?

[slowluvr65 16]

I too would like to separate myself from the impatient, desperate, testosterone laced, horny guys. Slow is in my handle for a reason. I believe in making every hook up special. So far I have found I can be quite passionate about it--and when we are finally done, I can walk away. As Woody said, I aim to please--that is what I get off on.

 

I have my problems, I can articulate them in detail if you want. Suffice it to say, I have no interest in displacing your guy. I'm probably not capable of sustaining a long term relationship. But it is rewarding as hell to get asked back for a repeat performance occasionally. It keeps it fresh but still familiar, does that make sense?

 

I guess the simple message is. Judge me and the other guys by the way we behave, not on a blanket categorical exclusion. Occasionally you might find a gem within the rubble.

[tribbles 490]

I don't know where some of you are finding the rude single males. We went to the only club we belong to so far and discovered their Singles Sundays includes males! Their website says no single males, so this was a surprise. Plus, if we had known, we would have brought our own single male... (BYOSM?).

 

No one stared, although they did watch us from a distance as we played in the jacuzzi area. When we stopped playing and were just still in the jacuzzi, the males slowly came in and talked with us. I got the impression they were presenting themselves for inspection. Weird feeling, since we are new to this, but still they were so polite and respectful.

 

We talked and we offered our email address. Only one guy took us up on that offer. The experience taught me that I don't want to do strange single males-I want a chance to get to know them a bit and how they think before any play.

 

Later in the group room, us and another couple were playing, as was a porn movie and a single male came in to the far end of the room, laid down and quietly watched and masturbated. That seemed very polite as well. He was far enough away that he allowed the couples private space but enjoyed the movie and live shows.

[wutchawant 15]

Oops, okay, I made a boo-boo, I thought the "swinging" lifestyle would be a good way for me to meet women that are open to having sex. I was looking for "friends with extras", I'm serious guys, I was. I'm sorry, but after reading some posts about why "single" guys don't get offered to events, I felt horrible. It's because of people like me. Now don't get me wrong, I have not offended anyone or anything, but I did have the wrong idea. Look, in my defense, it's been tough since my wife left me, hell I like making love just as much as the next person, I invested 8.5 years into that relationship for her to just up and leave and go to my best friends house. I got left out in the cold, and yeah it hurt and pissed me off if I might be frank. I'm not a club hopper, and I wouldn't dare disrespect a woman by suggesting she sleep with me after just meeting her. So anyway, that's my story, it DOES bother me that I have "needs" and I'm made to feel "abnormal" because I don't like sleeping alone. Anyway, I don't know if yall care, but I'd like to make friends. I don't have to be invited to any events or anything, but it would be nice to have people to talk to as well. So that's my story. Sorry, I didn't know. Now I do.

[wutchawant 15]

And furthermore, i too would like to learn about my own sexuality, desires and fantasies, I haven't tried anything "exciting" in the way of sex. I believe in romance, I went thru great lengths to serve my ex-wife. Bubble baths, cooking, cleaning (on a regular basis, not when I wanted "some"), I was raised by 5 women, so taking care of women comes second nature, to my own detriment, I might add. I spoiled her, and I got what I deserved, some may say, but I don't care, I am who I am, and I figure, hey her lost. I'd like to see her new 20 year old come home everyday and cook dinner and do laundry and then have the time and energy to give her full body massages with oil and the slowly kiss, lick and suck every inch of her body and then say "okay" after she was satisfied but too tired to return the favor, and not be upset about it. I enjoy pleasing my mate above myself, it brings me pleasure, I love giving soft kisses, massages, I can truly be satisfied by just touching and carressing and pleasing my mate. It's not all about "getting mine", I'd much rather bring a woman to her heights, and then lay down next to her and hold her and sleep, I'd snore loud. I've found that with this method, a woman will be normally more than happy to please her mate after this type of treatment, and if not, she can know that he is there for her pleasure, not his own.

[woodyxyz 16]

Whew! What a thread....

As a single male, I understand that many couples do not seek out single men. But I have been fortunate enough to have wonderful initial experiences with a few couples who, in turn recommended me to others. As a result, I have more intimate friends than time allows for. I also think older, more mature single males tend to be the respectful type and therefore more fun to play with.

[EternallySingle 32]

And furthermore, i too would like to learn about my own sexuality, desires and fantasies, I haven't tried anything "exciting" in the way of sex. I believe in romance, I went thru great lengths to serve my ex-wife. Bubble baths, cooking, cleaning (on a regular basis, not when I wanted "some"), I was raised by 5 women, so taking care of women comes second nature, to my own detriment, I might add. I spoiled her, and I got what I deserved, some may say, but I don't care, I am who I am, and I figure, hey her lost. I'd like to see her new 20 year old come home everyday and cook dinner and do laundry and then have the time and energy to give her full body massages with oil and the slowly kiss, lick and suck every inch of her body and then say "okay" after she was satisfied but too tired to return the favor, and not be upset about it. I enjoy pleasing my mate above myself, it brings me pleasure, I love giving soft kisses, massages, I can truly be satisfied by just touching and carressing and pleasing my mate. It's not all about "getting mine", I'd much rather bring a woman to her heights, and then lay down next to her and hold her and sleep, I'd snore loud. I've found that with this method, a woman will be normally more than happy to please her mate after this type of treatment, and if not, she can know that he is there for her pleasure, not his own.

 

Wutchawant hit a nerve with me. Not just in swinging, but in vanilla dating as well. I was also raised in a house full of women. I also grew up hearing about "how bad men are" and swore I would learn from that and be the kind of man women wanted.

 

Well, I ended up being the kind of man parents and friends wanted for their daughters and friends, but not the kind of man women REALLY wanted. Why? I wasn't selfish enough. Strange, but true. I guess they couldn't reconcile someone being truly generous AND being able to stand up for himself and others. Don't get me wrong. I had plenty of bed buddies and three incredible relationships, but not many real girlfriends. The three relationships, ironically, were with women who were also swingers. I guess they did understand that a guy could be totally giving and strong enough to get the job done at work, in the community, at home, and in the bedroom.

 

So maybe this is the right place for Wutchawant, myself, and other guys like us. My best friend, when he was forced to move, lived with a couple that swings. Lucky bastard. Unfortunately he is sort of a Christian conservative and while he was willing to overlook their lifestyle, he burned his bridges with them because they didn't like the fact that he was into the extreme video games (Grand Theft Auto, Doom, Halo, etc) and they had a big argument about tolerance. Damn. I could have had a very local contact, but now I don't. He won't tell me their names, but I think I know them, anyway.

 

Wait a minute. Gotta little off track. Where was I?

 

Oh, yeah. He's a good friend, but my swinging experiences are not something I can talk to him about. He doesn't want to hear it. I started to explain the lifestyle to him in a hypothetical way when he brought his experience up, but he got really defensive about his stance. His choice, I'm not going to push the issue. He's one of the few male friends I have. All the rest are women that won't sleep with me. No single males? I don't care. Those who want to meet me will try to find me. I'm just going to have fun and hope someone wants to have fun with me.

 

"If you're falling off a mountain, you might as well try to fly." I think thats from the I-Ching. It sounds Taoist.

[KittKatt 16]

Well heres my thoughts....and I bet alot of people agree..

 

First off, my hubby and I are fairly new to the lifestyle, but we do share OUR FANTASIES with each other. Thats what got us IN the "lifestyle"...

 

Now for us it is very simple...we love str8 mfm 3somes!!!! and as far as we are concerned a SINGLE MAN is our CUP OF TEA for the simple reason..No pissed off wife is going to hunt us down for revenge!!!! Yes we do prefer friendship and I'm not the kind of woman that likes to be treated like a slut! Only gentlemen are welcome here....And guys there is plenty of you that are WONDERFUL GENTLEMEN and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

 

Ok that being said....we would also like to have a bi-fmf relationship as well, but thats a bit harded to find. I think due to the stigma on womens sexuality "I'll be labeled a slut!" But I'm sure in time we will cum across the perfect situation for that.

 

We are listed as seeking couples also, but it is slow going at first, but should meet some couples soon. wooohooo

Now, I don't think we are wanting to CHEAT on each other....for goodness sakes!!! we all have our differant wants and needs and should NEVER JUDGE others in the lifestyle because of their fantasies!!!!

NOT EVEN SINGLE MEN.....that are gentlemen....

 

As for the guys in it for the F***.....not for us....but some may prefer it!!

[SandJinVT 23]

My hubby and I are generally full swap, same room with other couples. I'm bi, but no way will my hubby sit back and watch - we ALL play, or no one plays.

 

That said, we have invited single men into our home - and when that happens, they'd better be respectful, uninhibited, perfectly willing to share me, and have a pleasing personality. That means that from the initial email, I don't want to hear "I'm the best fuck you've ever had", or "I'll take you to paradise" or "Hi! I'm what you've been waiting for". lol I'm not waiting for anyone. I married the best fuck I ever had (and I was single for a long time!), and I already live in my paradise, so none of those lines are going to work.

 

If you want a response from a couple who normally plays with single men, take my advice - be polite, be very open in your first email, be polite, save the physical description of your cock until the second email at least, be polite, send them a G rated pic first not a cock shot, and be polite. Getting the drift?

 

We've met some very nice single men, some I was attracted to, and some I wasn't. I have to be extremely attracted to a single man before we invite them into our home (not I said ME). My hubby accompanies me to a meeting with you, we talk, we discuss what you like sexually, then I go away to decide if you're what I'm looking for.

 

Just my two cents.

[Percy 15]

Hello all. I am a single male. I have only had a few swinging experiences, and they have all been recent. Now to the last post before mine. I have slept with over 100 women, so to your response saying that we can't get laid I find that offensive. Also I do see your point because I have met a lot of guys that way. My only question is why is everyone so quick to shut us down or ignore us instead of getting to know us?

[Chicup 41]

Hello all. I am a single male. I have only had a few swinging experiences, and they have all been recent. Now to the last post before mine. I have slept with over 100 women, so to your response saying that we can't get laid I find that offensive. Also I do see your point because I have met a lot of guys that way. My only question is why is everyone so quick to shut us down or ignore us instead of getting to know us?

 

Because most of us swingers are in this together as a couple wanting to share this with another couple. Nothing wrong with an MFM but its not the primary 'type' of swinging. Add to the fact that there is a seemingly unlimited supply of single men, many of which don't understand swinging at all and you should be able to see why you are mostly unwanted.

 

Its nothing against you, but if we are at a party we only have so much time, and we are there to play. We don't want to play with a single male so we will spend our limited time getting to know couples who we may play with.

[TNT 1,155]

Percy said:

My only question is why is everyone so quick to shut us down or ignore us instead of getting to know us?

 

Not everyone is ....there are NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS couples who enjoy single men greatly and it is their primary way of playing. More so than most people think.

 

The single men who understand about swinging and what couples are looking for are in HIGH demand .

 

The best advice we can give any single man is to only contact those couples who are interested in singles. Once you are in good with one couple, the word does get around to other couples who are also looking for good single men. And on the same note, if you're a disrespectful jerk this too also gets around. (Same can be said for couples as well).

 

Teresa

[Spoomonkey 421]

Percy said:

My only question is why is everyone so quick to shut us down or ignore us instead of getting to know us?

 

When a woman goes to a yahoo chat room - especially a sex chat room - she is immediately inundated with:

 

• "HI!"

• "asl plz"

• "Daddy's home"

• "Wanna be my slut?"

• etc.

 

In the lifestyle, a couple can get buried with e-mail from single guys - and just like a hundred IM windows popping up all over the place, the e-mail can be overwhelming. So many single men, as Chicup said, simply don't understand the lifestyle. And when you sign in to SLS and have a half dozen messages, you have to make some snap decisions - it is simply impractical to give everyone equal time.

 

I am sure that we have missed out on some great guys because they got buried in the volume of things. But, I am also sure that our ratio is probably high in that we have avoided some real creeps.

 

At the club, it just depends on what the couple is looking for. Some go looking for single men - and they may find one, they may be disappointed in the crowd. The majority are probably looking for couples. Single men don't always know who is looking for what, so I can imagine things get frustrating.

[EternallySingle 32]

Yes, Spoo, it does get frustrating. You know what is the most frustrating? Not knowing when the right time is to write someone. I have a rule. One email, then its in your court. If I get instantly deleted because the couple that says they are looking for single men has found two or three and isn't looking for more...oh, well. If I get instantly deleted because the couple that says they are looking for single men gets 100 the day they post that profile and I'm number 99 to write them...oh, well. If someone reads my email and still hasn't responded six months later...oh, well.

 

I don't have time to worry about those things. I'll talk about them. Sometimes I'll complain about it (LOL), but generally, when it comes to hooking up, I only put REAL time and energy into impressing single women. Couples, while they can be fun and good friends, really don't offer anything long term for a single man OR single woman, so why would a single do anything except be polite, funny, and truthful when contacting a couple? Seriously, I understand the "No Single Men" thing. For a while I had a "No Couples, only single women not afraid of a new swing partner" thing on a site. I actually met two women. We never played together, but one I still meet with when we both happen to be relationship challenged at the same time. I did get blasted for that profile, even though there were many single women on that site that said they only wanted to meet single men in hopes of finding someone to do things with as a couple. But it was what I was looking for and only what I was interested in at the time. Now, six years later, I'm willing to meet couples. I'm even willing to write one or two first. But I'm not looking for couples. They are not what I consider a long term investment.

 

I like to swing because it was fun way back when I was part of a couple, and I had some good experiences when I was single. But I was in a different part of the country, where people had a slightly different view on life, and I had an edge: I was the bed buddy of one half of a female-female couple, and she introduced me to two more of their female firends and several couples they would swing with.

 

That situation was one I got into due to PURE LUCK! I was in the right place at the right time. Sure, I said and did all the right things, but that really didn't matter that much. (Single guys you really need to pay attention to this) Being the perfect gentleman means nothing if noone is interested when you meet them or write to them. No matter what they say in a profile, when a couple (and especially a single woman on a swing site) is interested in meeting someone, most are going to choose the last guy that contacted them and meets their criteria, not the first. Not unless they met that guy IN REAL LIFE! So unless you are fortunate enough to be able to attend a swing club regularly, your chances of meeting someone to swing with is very low. So don't sweat it. Read profiles, join in the chatrooms, write in the forums, and try to say something that will catch their eye in a good way.

 

Sure, there is a lot to be frustrated about. Yes, there are valid reasons to complain, but thats life. I had a great time today looking for someone that could help me learn proper vacuum forming techniques, which I will need to make some extra money selling custom joysticks. I also wandered into an adult bookstore and had my butt pinched by a woman buying a dildo.

 

At least I hope it was a woman. She had breasts. Then again, she was with another woman. I tried to say hi, but she just smiled and whispered something to the other woman, who laughed.

 

Dang, I hope at least one of them was a woman

 

It was a fun day, anyway. Thats whats important. Thats ALL thats important. Have fun today, and don't worry about who doesn't want to play with you. You might miss out on meeting someone who does.

[NVFun 15]

We enjoy playing with couples AND singles. And we really enjoy and TREASURE, those single guys (and couples) that are on our "regulars" list. There are just some things in our sexual repertoire that require more than one cock to accomplish. (And NO, toys aren't a satisfactory substitute to us.)

 

Having said that, we DO understand and share the distaste that many couples have for the all-too-common, aggressive, egocentric, single male jerk that we have all collided with at one time or another.

 

As an earlier post said, "I hear way too many -- "if your husband can't satisfy you then I can" and "can't we get together alone?"from single guys."

 

All of our regular guys understand that we are interested in FUN. We are not involved in this hobby in order to repair something that is "broken" in our relationship. It's just that we are lucky enough to have no insecurities about our relationship and that allows us to enjoy light-hearted sex with single guys.

 

So, short answer - some egotistical bad-apples are making it hard on ALL of the single guys out there - but that's the way the world works...

[JnCC 24]

...generally, when it comes to hooking up, I only put REAL time and energy into impressing single women. Couples, while they can be fun and good friends, really don't offer anything long term for a single man...

If you're talking about "romantically" or somebody to snuggle with on a cold night, that's true. But you can't discount the fact that couples, esp the female half of most couples, know a lot of single women. Some of the best 1-on-1 experiences I've had have come about from introductions made by lifestyle friends.

 

I like to swing because it was fun way back when I was part of a couple

The key word is "was." When I lived in Hawaii, surfing WAS fun...snorkeling WAS fun. When I was part of a couple, swinging WAS fun. Now, the thought of not being able to cuddle, or fall asleep with a person I've just made love...errr..."had sex" with, leaves me a little turned-off. I feel the same way about snorkeling in the Ohio river.

 

I enjoy sex...the before, the middle, and the after. Maybe I'm a little sensitized by the fact that I'm not in a romantic relationship at the present time, but swinging sex was always, for me, a compromise at best. There was very little "before" or "after" to it. It was mostly just "middle," and even that came with restrictions. It's not that it was bad sex, it just wasn't very good sex. At least, not compared to a 1-on-1 with my wife (then) or a single woman (now).

 

I'm enjoying the single life...so much so that it's hard for me to imagine being in a committed relationship again. But if I am, swinging will be a regular part of it, just as it was before.

 

I also wandered into an adult bookstore and had my butt pinched by a woman buying a dildo. At least I hope it was a woman.

Were they pretty? Women don't usually dress up to go to porn shops, because they don't want to be noticed. And how big was the dildo? "Real" women usually buy cute, "girlie" dildos. Trannie's and fags generally buy the biggest, nastiest looking thing they can shove up their ass. The reason is that although they may grow tits, they never outgrow the "bigger is better" philosophy we men are born with. How many guys do you know who've had dick-reduction surgery?

 

Dude, this is the kind of shit you need to know if you're going to hang around porn shops and the fringes of society, LOL!

 

It was a fun day, anyway. Thats whats important. Thats ALL thats important. Have fun today, and don't worry about who doesn't want to play with you. You might miss out on meeting someone who does.

That may be the single most important piece of advice that's EVER been offered on this board, to singles OR couples. This should be fun. If it's not, or if you're working too hard or worrying too much about connecting with somebody, step back and take another look at your options. Chances are, somebody's been trying to get your attention and you've been too busy or preoccupied to notice.

 

"On a clear day, rise and look around you

and you'll see who you are"

Robert Goulet

 

"Places to go, things to see, people to sniff"

Big Dog

[EternallySingle 32]

If you're talking about "romantically" or somebody to snuggle with on a cold night, that's true. But you can't discount the fact that couples, esp the female half of most couples, know a lot of single women. Some of the best 1-on-1 experiences I've had have come about from introductions made by lifestyle friends.

 

I can believe that. Most of the single women I've met outside of swinging were introduced to me by a couple, usually the wife. But when it comes to couples, I meet them, I laugh and talk with them, I hang out with them, but I don't try to go further than being friends...because it won't go any further than being friends. Even with couples that swing. Even if the husband said 1-on-1 was okay, I would never let anything resembling an exclusive relationship develop. To me, someone that would leave their partner for me would leave me for someone else. I wouldn't be able to trust them.

 

The key word is "was." When I lived in Hawaii, surfing WAS fun...snorkeling WAS fun. When I was part of a couple, swinging WAS fun. Now, the thought of not being able to cuddle, or fall asleep with a person I've just made love...errr..."had sex" with, leaves me a little turned-off. I feel the same way about snorkeling in the Ohio river.

 

I totally relate to that. Ever drove halfway across the state, had a great dinner with a couple, two hours of great sex, then had to spend the rest of the night alone? I'm not saying its bad, but its not as good as actually sleeping with the person you just had sex with. No matter how fun it was, something feels like its missing. Again, couples are good for the friendship and sex part, but it won't go any further than sex, and that makes it a little less appealing. Especially since with the same amount of effort I can meet someone single face to face and she'll usually want to spend the night together (or at least until I fall asleep, then leave to avoid the awkward morning after conversation).

 

I enjoy sex...the before, the middle, and the after. Maybe I'm a little sensitized by the fact that I'm not in a romantic relationship at the present time, but swinging sex was always, for me, a compromise at best. There was very little "before" or "after" to it. It was mostly just "middle," and even that came with restrictions. It's not that it was bad sex, it just wasn't very good sex. At least, not compared to a 1-on-1 with my wife (then) or a single woman (now).

 

I'm enjoying the single life...so much so that it's hard for me to imagine being in a committed relationship again. But if I am, swinging will be a regular part of it, just as it was before.

 

I can't really say that I'm enjoying the single life. I'm enjoying my life, but sometimes friends and family aren't enough to talk to. While I'm not LOOKING for a romantic partner, I do enjoy meeting potential romantic partners and seeing where things can go. Again, couples don't offer that, and you usually have to know a couple a rather long time before they know you well enough to suggest somebody that will actually be compatible with you (or at least not get on your nerves all the time).

 

Were they pretty? Women don't usually dress up to go to porn shops, because they don't want to be noticed. And how big was the dildo? "Real" women usually buy cute, "girlie" dildos. Trannie's and fags generally buy the biggest, nastiest looking thing they can shove up their ass. The reason is that although they may grow tits, they never outgrow the "bigger is better" philosophy we men are born with. How many guys do you know who've had dick-reduction surgery?

 

Dude, this is the kind of shit you need to know if you're going to hang around porn shops and the fringes of society, LOL!

 

Well, they were both a little butch, but the one that didn't pinch me bought a slightly smaller than normal dildo that looked more like a piece of art, and the other woman kept picking up different vibrating ben-wa balls, then glancing at different men. Maybe I shouldn't have bent over to check out Michigan Connections magazine. Thats when I got pinched.

 

That may be the single most important piece of advice that's EVER been offered on this board, to singles OR couples. This should be fun. If it's not, or if you're working too hard or worrying too much about connecting with somebody, step back and take another look at your options. Chances are, somebody's been trying to get your attention and you've been too busy or preoccupied to notice.

 

"On a clear day, rise and look around you

and you'll see who you are"

Robert Goulet

 

"Places to go, things to see, people to sniff"

Big Dog

 

If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. And nobody wants to know someone thats always wrong.

[Tat2 15]

I am a single guy and although I am new to this site I have been a member of another adult site for 4 years and always as a single guy. I was told recently by two different couples that I am different from most single guys. When I asked why I was told because I am nice and because I do not just "offer my services" If you treat it with the same respect as you would in your normal life you will receive a similar degree of good and bad responses from people.

 

True to say that many couples are only interested in other couples. However there are also a lot of couples out there that are interested in single males. LMAO I have the pics to prove it but you will never see them!!!

 

As a single male I feel quite confident that I will continue to meet people in the lifestyle and that I will continue to have fun. The secret is to have fun and expect nothing.

 

Not sure who I am writing this to in particular but I hope it might help someone who is down about being a single and thinking they are wasting their time. If you treat people the wrong way then you are wasting your time. If you treat people right, the right people will find you.

 

Just my thoughts on the matter.

[SluttyWife 17]

Tat2 said:

I am a single guy and although I am new to this site I have been a member of another adult site for 4 years and always as a single guy. I was told recently by two different couples that I am different from most single guys. When I asked why I was told because I am nice and because I do not just "offer my services" If you treat it with the same respect as you would in your normal life you will receive a similar degree of good and bad responses from people.

 

True to say that many couples are only interested in other couples. However there are also a lot of couples out there that are interested in single males.

 

Agree!

It's a matter of looking in all the right places.

 

Searching for couples actually seeking single male experiences

 

firsthand. I've seen one altogether different approach lately and that is meeting couples online and getting a correspondence going there and following that up with a meeting in the non-threatening atmosphere of a swing club. Quite an effective approach IMHO.

 

And yes...the golden rule of "niceties" and keeping "pleasantries" going should always be followed..couple or single.

 

[Tat2 15]

SluttyWife thank you. I am glad that it is not all in my head. When you think you are headed in the right direction it always helps to see a sign that confirms it.

 

Here's to all the singles and all that love 'em!

[magnum 78]

BettyAnnMBSC said:

In my experience, single men generally don't understand what's really happening here.

 

I hear way too many -- "if your husband can't satisfy you then I can" and "can't we get together alone?"from single guys. I also have a problem interacting with many single guys -- a single (never married guy) just never seems to understand that paying the rent or washing clothes or cooking dinner or cleaning house are really important.

 

Sometimes, I find that single guys are way too pushy -- it's all about sex now! and rarely about well what do you like? -- the number of "hey wanna f**k" I get from single guys I never saw before is astounding -- what makes a single guy think I'm a total slut or whore just because my husband and I share this lifestyle?

 

The simple matter is, we are into sharing -- this is not about get what you can -- now, I do understand that there are many women who are after 1:1 time and a single guy is an acceptable choice -- except that many husbands/SOs prefer that we women not get involved with single guys, to much chance of emotional attachments forming on his part. That love word comes up with single guys too often.

 

Sometimes we just wonder "if you're such a great guy, why don't you have a wife or girlfriend" and if you have a wife or girlfriend but are playing alone then you are cheating and most of us don't like that attribute in a mans character.

 

I am not "looking for love" and for the most part, no guy is gonna show me anything I've not seen before. I'm not "a lonely housewife" or a "horny slut". But that seems to be the mentality of most single guys looking for playmates. My husband doesn't fail to satisfy me and your pecker probably really isn't "10 inches long and thick as a beer bottle" and if it is then please leave it in your pants around me. 10" is the distance from my elbow to wrist!

 

If you want to have a chance with a couple then there are some things single men must do:

* read about the lifestyle and begin to understand what it is really about.

* never ever ever treat her like a whore or slut unless that is what she wants.

* never ever ever assume that you're "the best lover ever" -- you're a different lover whose been invited to share. That's all!

* she probably isn't interested in falling in love with you and living happily ever after.

* if you're a homophobe then there is likely to be a problem -- when playing with couples, sometimes the husband will see your penis and you will see his sometimes, they will even bump into each other....

 

Just a few of my thoughts -- looking forward to reading those of others.

 

I have replied to this thread a few times...Sorry to hear that you have had such bad experiences with single men...We are not all bad...Maybe you should go to clubs that allow single men and talk to them more before you decide to play with them.

 

I for one am not looking to break up your marriage or anyone else's for that matter, I am not looking to fall in love with you either, I am hoping to develop a friendship though, it makes for a more comfortable, understanding, fun play time.

 

I have never thought of the wife or a single female as a slut or whore, I see them as women that are secure and open minded enough to pursue her fantasy's and explore her sexuality.

 

I have been single on and off since I have been swinging, not all women are into the life style, which is fine.

 

I must admit, I did have a concern "when I first got into the life style" about having another cock, let alone a hard cock that close to mine, I am waaaay over that now. We "the couple I play with" did a double pussy penetration the last time we played, matter of fact.

 

Any how, didn't mean to ramble on, but I felt I had to say something. Happy swinging.

[Tat2 15]

SluttyWife after reading your comments above I decided to check out your profile on SLS. Very interesting and very eloquent. Nice tasteful pics too. I wanted to send you mail there but as a free member that is not possible. I wish you all the luck in the world finding your femme fatale. Feel free to contact me anytime.

[HotMoCpl 20]

I would prefer a guy cheating on his wife before a single male. I've been a single male and know how most of them think. I said..."MOST", not ALL. Knowing myself is reason enough. Find a woman that wants to get laid and then you try to fall in love. WRONG!

[JnCC 24]

I would prefer a guy cheating on his wife before a single male.

Interesting...because of the few offers I've had to "play without the wife," most came when I was still married, as our Swappernet profile clearly indicated.

 

I've been a single male and know how most of them think. I said..."MOST", not ALL.

Hmmmm...so how DO we think? I'm not asking the question in a pejoritive way...there is no 'wrong" answer. I'm just curious as to how we're perceived by married couples in this regard. Of course, I have my own ideas, having been married myself. But I'd be interested in hearing yours.

[Spoomonkey 421]

HotMoCpl said:

I would prefer a guy cheating on his wife before a single male.

 

Really?

 

With a single guy, you can get to know him and try to figure out his motives... We have met a couple of great guys - and I am not the least bit worried that they'll try to (or be able to) steal my wife.

 

A married guy - cheating - he has a wife. I've said it before, and it bears repeating, I won't be a part of one person hurting another. If a guy/gal is a cheater, they are on their own - but not to worry, there are plenty of people who could care less, so they'll hook up eventually... Just not with us.

 

Call it judgemental - call it whatever - but a person who will cheat isn't the type of person we'd want anything to do with. We put far too high a value on marriage.

[EternallySingle 32]

I would prefer a guy cheating on his wife before a single male. I've been a single male and know how most of them think. I said..."MOST", not ALL. Knowing myself is reason enough. Find a woman that wants to get laid and then you try to fall in love. WRONG!

 

I have to challenge your opinion with a question. Were you a single man in your late 30s/early 40s? Had you been in a relationship, however casual, that also involved swinging while you were a single man? How old were you when you got married? Was it in your early 20s or late 30s?

 

Everyone is different. EVERYONE is different. EVERYONE is DIFFERENT! Just because you were a horny little toad that tried to hop everyone at every opportunity, no matter how slight, you can't say all single men are looking to do the same. Some of us do have self control. Some of us do have great respect for women. Some of us even have a great amount of respect for other people's relationships and don't want to do anything harm them.

 

You don't believe you can trust single men around your wife. Thats your opinion. My opinion is that if you don't take the time to get to know a single man you would to get to know a single woman or couple, you are more than likely meet the bad ones. There are just more single men trying to get into swinging than there are people who have experience. When good people have to try and get someone's attention with a bunch of bad people getting more attention, you only see the bad people. Thats true in politics, religion, business, and swinging, among other things.

[Doug19482000 18]

Too many posts to read them all, but this seems pretty simple to me. You, the single guy, gets my beautiful lady and I get what?

[curiousagain 326]

Too many posts to read them all, but this seems pretty simple to me. You, the single guy, gets my beautiful lady and I get what?

 

You get to help your wife fulfill a fantasy or experience something she finds pleasurable. Maybe in return she will get someone to help fulfill one of your fantasys or double your pleasure. Who knows?

 

Maybe a MFM is on your or your wife's "to do before I die" or "fun things to do occasionally" list. Who knows?

 

Different people do the same thing for different reasons at different times. Wives are not property to be traded, borrowed, or bartered. They are partners. If a couple are partners in sexual adventure, hopefully they both will "get" what they seek. It's all good, or at least that's the way we always plan it.

[EternallySingle 32]

All I can say is this. When I was with my past swing partners, it was not about a one for one swap. It was about the adventure. The whole "What do I get out of a single man joining us" doesn't sound like the adventure is as important as having sex with someone new. Yes, that is part of the adventure, but a bigger part should be exploring new sensations. Of course, if all you want is to swap partners and watch each other, yes, a single person, man or woman, isn't for you. But if you want to experience new sensations, you should limit yourself based on a misconception.

 

Limits are fine, but as a recovering adrenaline junkie, I can tell you that by not trying something before you truly investigate it, might be missing out on something you would really enjoy. For example, if I had listened to everyone that said black guys don't surf, I never would have gotten a date with my neighbor's best friend that only dated surfers. I learned that she was actually into guys that road fiberglass and wooden boards on waves, not just guys that dressed the part. It didn't work out, but we did have three weeks of incredible fun. I actually rode a board to shore once.

[danterra 15]

I understand why most couples are not looking for a single man. This however does not mean a single man should be considered. If they come up to you with a sincere heart and a friendship waiting to be explored, couples could be missing out on future double dates.

 

I am not looking to try and break up a marriage. I am presently looking to meet new people who share similar interests in sex so we can talk openly and honestly. I find that most people I talk with would never consider the lifestyle. I have a lot of friends but I wind up on the wrong end of conversations. As one of my friends once put it...

 

"My moral compass is broken." And I don't even want to sleep with them.

 

So open your heart and maybe your relationships to a single guy. If anything, you guys may find a good golfing buddy.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Doug19482000 said:

Too many posts to read them all, but this seems pretty simple to me. You, the single guy, gets my beautiful lady and I get what?

 

 

This is exactly our point!!! YOU GET TO SEE YOUR WIFE HAVING THE BEST TIME OF HER LIFE!!! Just cause you have pussy to 'trade' doesn't make you worthy. THAT attitude my friends is what soured us on couples for good.

[TNT 1,155]

Doug19482000 said:

Too many posts to read them all, but this seems pretty simple to me. You, the single guy, gets my beautiful lady and I get what?

 

So...you're wife could say the same thing about a FMF....the other woman gets you, but what does your wife get?

 

Kind of a selfish attitude there don't ya think?

 

During our MFM threesomes my husband gets his favorite fantasy fulfilled, watching me receive awesome pleasure .

 

Mr&Mrs-naughty said:

This is exactly our point!!! YOU GET TO SEE YOUR WIFE HAVING THE BEST TIME OF HER LIFE!!! Just cause you have pussy to 'trade' doesn't make you worthy. THAT attitude my friends is what soured us on couples for good.

Dito

 

Teresa

[Chicup 41]

You guys need to hang out with more fun couples

 

Most experienced swinging couples seem a lot less worried about being ‘even’ in our experience. Not long ago I was the 'extra' M for an MFM with good friends of ours, he has been the extra M for us at times, and we still get together for a good old foursome.

 

Win win win.