No single males? Why not??

[crazycatz 17]

We don't care they respect me or not. T

 

that's a bit worrying, to say the least.

[BigirlandHubby 30]

if there were not restrictions on single males you would end up with a 40 to 1 ratio of men to women, and a bunch of single guys thinking it's a meat market. Just go on AFF and check out who is "camming" right now... 4000 men, and 45 women... the 4000 men have an average of .01 viewers and the 45 women have an average of 150 people watching.

 

Guys don't get it, single men are SO easy to find that when you go looking, that alone is a turn off. You simply don't need or want them coming after you, if we wanted a single guy, we could go to any bar on the planet and pick up the best looking single guy in the place and take him home (if you are a moderately attractive couple and approach a single guy for no-strings attached sex, chances are they will say "uhm... yes")..

 

That's why there are restrictions, we go to a swinger club we are there to find women with men, or women. If we were looking for single men, we could go anywhere, or ask any of our single male friends who we already know and trust (which is Waaaay more likely than a stranger).

 

On the whole, single guys get blasted, act like idiots, think that it's ok to jump in and play without asking, start fights, or think they are so hot they can just run up and start rubbing on a guy's wife. The only time we went to a place that allowed single guys there were fights all over the place, and drunk guys acting like grope-happy tools in a meat market where everything is free and they are god's gift. Never again.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Ah, the ever-dreaded Single Male. Let me preface by saying that I, personally, have no problems with single males. Heck, I was once a single male myself (a long story) back in my younger days. But why aren’t we interested in single men?

 

Most importantly, is because Amelia simply has no desire to have a single guy join us. That may change one day, but right now that’s how it is. She likes playing with women and seeing me with other women. We also like the erotic dynamics of a foursome. And it’s really as simple as that.

 

Now, if Brad Pitt showed up on our doorstep and said he was interested in a MFM, I’m pretty sure she would reevaluate this outlook.

 

Also, it appears at times that single men in the Lifestyle tend to be rather boorish, demonstrating that attitude that all Swinger husbands are tickled silly at the thought of some random guy banging his wife. Before you fire up the flamethrower, I realize that this is not indicative of all single men. Most of the single guys here on SwingersBoard seem to be pretty swell fellows, for example.

 

I had one single male e-mail us on SLS, telling us that “I read your profile and it’s hot”. Now, this was rather confusing because if he read our profile, he would have seen the part where we say we are not interested in single men. Also, I wrote 99% of the profile and even I don’t think it’s “hot”.

 

Anyway, he goes on at some length about the size of his genitalia, how he has received rave reviews about his oral skills, and how we would love to come over and show her “a night she’ll never forget.” Attached to this e-mail is a picture of a rather impressive-sized penis that I’m willing to bet money was screen-capped from a porno movie.

 

So I send him a reply, which states “Sorry, we’re not interested in single men at the moment, but we wish you luck on your endeavor.” His reply was “Whatever, your woman should dump your fat ass and find a real man.” Charming, to say the least!

 

Now, I realize that the type of guy who likes to spam SLS profiles is probably a douche to begin with, but it really gives a bad impression of all single men. And anybody who’s been to Hedo can tell you about the Vinnies and Wallies (singles guys who either think they’re God’s Gift To Women or creepy loners who like to stare and watch, usually while playing with themselves.)

 

And, finally, as somebody else already mentioned, it’s a simple matter of supply and demand. If we want a single man to join us, I imagine it’s almost trivially easy to find one.

[SCcpl40 74]

Sometimes single men think with one head when they should be thinking with two. That may be where the saying "two heads are better than one" came from. For MFM, it's all about the woman. The seduction of being the center of attention is overwhelming. Keep focused on the objective, which is the woman, don't let the "hard" head cloud your vision which could be either one. The moment it's not about her, you're going down in flames.

__________________

[Thrax 384]

SCcpl40 said:

Sometimes single men think with one head when they should be thinking with two.

 

Sometimes single men think with one head when they should be thinking with two.

 

C'mon! We're picked on enough!

[WildMainePussy 15]

The seduction of being the center of attention is overwhelming. Keep focused on the objective, which is the woman. The moment it's not about her, you're going down in flames.

__________________

 

Yup....and already one fella has me flicking my BIC.

 

Last time my head was grabbed and shoved around while giving him oral and he was too ready to cum. Short (like 2 inch) strokes sporadically weren't long enough or steady enough for me to even begin to focus on enjoying feeling anything and it was over very quickly. He noted I didn't cum. But not wanting to hurt his feelings (or show I was annoyed) I said everyone's entitled to an off night now and then.

 

We do refuse single guys as we prefer couples more but this fellow we've known for about 3 years. Nice guy to talk with, we've become very comfortable with him but the last two times...it's been a bit off.

 

What's that rule...three strikes and you're outta the game?

 

It is so hard to find a single guy that my partner will go along with. He has to be fairly intelligent, not a sports nut (we don't do NASCAR or footie) but does like more of the cultural arts -- music, theater, books etc.

That way there's something to talk about over dinner!!

[sweet_tna 680]

Seems to me the single male debate is like any other aspect of life--a few bad apples spoil the bunch. We haven't had any problems with single males, but we aren't looking for them either. We don't have an issue with them in any way, it's just not the direction Mr. Sweet and I are looking to go at this point.

 

But we have encountered our share of MARRIED men that were total jerks. Takes all kinds . . .

[BigirlandHubby 30]

Sometimes single men think with one head when they should be thinking with two. That may be where the saying "two heads are better than one" came from.

 

We are laughing our asses off!!! WELL PLAYED!!! That is the quote of the month.

 

Our first MMF was with a very close friend of Hubby.. He has an IQ in the high 150s, is in amazing shape, is into the arts, and is one of the most fun guys we have ever met (he throws a party in Vancouver every year that, I shit you not, people fly in from as far as Texas for). He is well hung, gentle in bed, can last as long as we want him to, and is pretty much the perfect guy because he is bi and makes the whole night about HER and US, it wasn't about him at all, he was basically a living sex toy for us, and loved being that FOR US. It was really incredible, and we had him back 4 times before we moved from Vancouver (we still miss him)... Those guys are SO RARE! But if you want to be a single male, you need to be like him. A meathead steroid jock with a giant cock is not what couple are looking for. It's not about jealousy, it's about you being a dill-hole and not appreciating the fact that you are a sex toy in the bedroom and maybe a good friend outside of that, but being there for her not for you!

 

Most of us guys in (at least the ones I have met) in the lifestyle are there for the women, we are there to revel in the beauty of our bisexual wives. In bed, when I cum it's like "shit, it's over", when I make or help make a woman cum, I feel fulfilled. That's the kind of lover I have always been. If you want to be a single male in this lifestyle and be successful I think that's the kind of man you need to be (not try to be, I mean at the heart of you, you need to want to get her off more than getting off yourself, if that's not you, then you are not going to do well at all).

[two42lovers 273]

Question is, what is the solo guy bringing to the table? Part of the problem is supply and demand, but there is another issue. If most couples can attract other couples and singles, and most single women can attract couples and singles, what are we to assume about single guys unable attract play partners? He either doesn't want to, or he can't. If he doesn't want to, fine, but why the crying about it? If he can't, why should we invite him to play with us? (There may be a good answer, but let's hear it.) When we play with another couple, we get FMF, MFM, MFFM, & MF/MF. Nothing wrong with just having MFM - but there are a lot of available guys for this relatively small peice of the swing lifestyle. If you are a solo guy, best bet is to get out there and find a play partner, and enjoy the wonderful world of swinging.

 

We know a few very cool single guys who seem to have no trouble attracting couples for MFM play, and attracting single women to bring to our parties. Sad to say, however, high quality solo guys skilled at playing with couples are rare.

[lalov3r 15]

ummm. I think it means no need to bring sausage to the sausage factory..

 

(sausage factory was a joke we made with friend, when at a club there would be very few women and all guys)

 

[NumbskullsX2 24]

I totally agree with everything you said, for the reasons you said. But there is a place for them in the lifestyle, and here is why-

 

two42lovers said:

Question is, what is the solo guy bringing to the table? Part of the problem is supply and demand, but there is another issue. If most couples can attract other couples and singles, and most single women can attract couples and singles, what are we to assume about single guys unable attract play partners?

Not all couples can attract other couples, sometimes one or both of them have either let themselves go physically, or they're just "rough" if you know what I mean. A single woman might be very nice person and all, but in most bars and vanilla clubs there's a threshold of looks and age and once they're past it, they can sit there all night and not be noticed. But a swing club is a great equalizer. There they can be 75 years old and weight 300 pounds and there will still be some single guy trying to get them into a room. So I guess you could say that what the single guy "brings to the table" is that in a swing club at least, he'll have sex with a woman he probably wouldn't be caught dead with in front of his friends.

 

two42lovers said:

why should we invite him to play with us? (There may be a good answer, but let's hear it.) When we play with another couple, we get FMF, MFM, MFFM, & MF/MF. Nothing wrong with just having MFM - but there are a lot of available guys for this relatively small peice of the swing lifestyle. If you are a solo guy, best bet is to get out there and find a play partner, and join the wonderful world of 2-on-2 swinging.

But some couples don't want 2-on-2 swinging, they want another male because that's what turns them both on. In that case, having another mans penis is more of a turn-on than having a penis and a vagina.

 

Why waste a perfectly good vagina on a husband who doesn't appreciate it?

[lovinher 505]

SCcpl40 said:

Sometimes single men think with one head when they should be thinking with two. That may be where the saying "two heads are better than one" came from.

 

Hey, isn't two heads what it is all about?

 

As long as there are people (and clubs) who tolerate the the jerks, there will always be jerks in the lifestyle. I think if couples were a bit more selective they would find that there are some good ones out there. I have no sympathy for anyone who picks up a guy at a club they don't know at all, only find out he's a jerk after the fact. There is nothing wrong with an anonymous fuck but your rolling the dice in doing so. Think about why many single guys, or women for that matter, are there in the first place. I said MANY, not all......Thrax.

 

[VegasLee 1,486]

I agree 100% with what lovinher just posted.

 

Something that needs to be added though is that everywhere you wrote "single" the word couples can be inserted also.

 

Being a jerk is not exclusive to just "singles." At the club and conventions and parties we have met just as many couples or part of a couple that are jerks as we have single people over the years.

 

If clubs need to start being selective then they need to include everyone, single or couple in that selection process. I am using the term "single" for single men and single women. We have found that single women can cause more drama in a club then any single man ever thought of causing.

[WildMainePussy 15]

The few meet n greets we've attended really sock it to the single guy at the door --- one place had the nuts to put out the word NO SINGLE MEN will be admitted. It was single ladies and couples only and that was $20 a pop for 'membership' and $20 for the entrance fee.

 

So how can a single guy get out there to meet couples who might want a MFM without paying $50 plus for a 3 hour party? If the clubs want to limit single guys, do it by head count...first 20 in the door only.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Because a lot of couples simply won't partake in a club that allows single males. And no business owner is going to intentionally antagonize their major clients to satisfy a sense of fairness or entitlement. It's a fact that most couples are looking for either other couples or single females. They simply aren't looking for a single male. So why have them take part in a event where, generally speaking, they simply aren't desired by most of the attendees?

 

There are other ways for single guys to meet couples (SLS, for example) for those couples who want a MFM. But I know I wouldn't want to attend a Meet & Greet or Club who allows every Tom, Dick, & Harry in.

 

I'm sorry, I know it's not "politically correct", and it may sound elitist. But there it is.

[Christian 15]

I have been swinging with woman since I was 18,its about respect,privacy and mosly having FUN,this is very simple,i am single know because my last girlfriend just flew back to Paris to take care of her father,there is no reosen to discriminate on the men,it"s not right. We are all not the same.Some single man such as my self are classy and fun and good people.:)

[lustylearning 705]

After re-reading my late night post I thought I would go ahead an issue a disclaimer before someone flames me. I do not think that all couples and single females have a sense of superiority to single males. Just like all single males arent clueless creeps that are just looking for easy pussy. It's just something that if you really pay attention to all of the intricacies of the social dynamics in group sex/swinging environments you dont have to look very far or hard to witness that kind of mentality. We personally like swingers of all classifications equally. We believe that s. males,s. females and couples all have their pros and cons but each catagory is of fairly equal value to us sexually. If I insulted anyone it really wasnt my intention to do so. I just hate to see any group (especially underdogs so to speak) getting picked on/ganged up on.

 

I'm glad you clarified. I hate seeing people play the one upmanship game too.

[NumbskullsX2 24]

Chris&Amelia said:

Because a lot of couples simply won't partake in a club that allows single males. And no business owner is going to intentionally antagonize their major clients to satisfy a sense of fairness or entitlement.

When we first started this, most of the clubs in our area (OH,IN, & KY) were either couples-only, or restricted the areas that single males could go within the club. In the past few years, we've noticed that almost all those clubs have relaxed those rules considerably.

 

We've also noticed that some clubs have closed, others have gone through several changes of management, and attendance seems to be down at the ones still in operation. I have to wonder why this is all happening at a time when there are more couples signed up on SLS and SN, and more private parties than ever before.

 

Quote

It's a fact that most couples are looking for either other couples or single females. They simply aren't looking for a single male. So why have them take part in a event where, generally speaking, they simply aren't desired by most of the attendees?

It's "money" on the part of the clubs, and general cluelessness on the part of the single males. It's hard to be successful in the nightclub business, because you have to pay rent and taxes every day of the month but you make most of your income (hopefully with enough left over for a little profit) in just 2 days each weekend. Many swing clubs make their monthly expenses on what the couples bring in, and whatever profit they make on what the single males bring in. As a business person I understand why they have to do what they do, but as a customer, I prefer to take my business elsewhere. It's a vicious circle.

 

Most of the single males we've met at clubs are clueless about this lifestyle and what it takes to be successful at it. Part of that is because of their own inability to read people and situations, and part is because they've been lied to by those who sell "memberships" in swing clubs and various adult websites. Nobody ever tells them what their REAL chances of hooking up with somebody are and they can't figure out out on their own, which makes them easy targets for those people. It's a variation of the "Olongapo Hustle" (you ex-navy types will understand)

 

"Buy me drink, sailor-boy? Sign up my website, sailor-boy? Many pretty pictures my pussy my website sailor-boy! Maybe even I meet you my club some night and we have big fun-fun time, just YOU and ME, sailor-boy!"

 

Quote

There are other ways for single guys to meet couples (SLS, for example) for those couples who want a MFM. But I know I wouldn't want to attend a Meet & Greet or Club who allows every Tom, Dick, & Harry in.

You might not have a choice if it's the Toms, Dicks, & Harry's, (or "Marvin the Mouth-breather's", "T-shirt Tom's" and "LeBaron da Ladies man!") that are keeping the club open. Maybe private parties aren't so bad after all.

[Playful1 434]

Unfortunately in my experience a great number of single men act horribly at parties/events/etc. They are rude, aggressive, and make all sorts of assumptions. Additionally, there tends to be a much greater number of single men than single women in swinging, so, if there are too many single guys, you wind up with a sausage fest. Because of this, most places find it easier to simply limit the number of single males, or require that they be vouched for by a couple first.

 

I know there are single men who are good, as i am friends with a couple, but, the ones that are not, have ruined it for those who are good and have made their job much harder.

[Malachista 170]

Chris&Amelia said:

Because a lot of couples simply won't partake in a club that allows single males. And no business owner is going to intentionally antagonize their major clients to satisfy a sense of fairness or entitlement. It's a fact that most couples are looking for either other couples or single females. They simply aren't looking for a single male. So why have them take part in a event where, generally speaking, they simply aren't desired by most of the attendees?

 

Surprisingly enough one of my favorites clubs has doubled the number of couples and females at parties in the past 4 months, since they also let in single men.

 

Pretty much everyone new there was happy to finally have a club that allows single guys because that was what they searched, and they had no interest to go to party in a club without the men

[JandCMI 15]

My wife and I have zero use for single males. I certainly understand what the appeal of single men is for those couples that choose to use them, but that is not for us. We both like women and we would both feel cheated if we played with a single man. It isn't about one of us having fun, it's about both of us having fun.

 

Beyond that, we don't have a very high opinion of single men as a whole. They have no god-given right to be invited into a couple's bedroom. They have no god-given right to be admitted to the clubs at the same price as a couple or single female. They have no god-given right to be allowed onto SLS or any other swinging ad site. It is this attitude that they are entitled to something that makes us take exception to most single men.

 

And as others have said in this thread, there are a few bad apples that ruin it for the bunch. Someone should start a thread where we share single male horror stories.

[Thrax 384]

JandCMI said:

My wife and I have zero use for single males. I certainly understand what the appeal of single men is for those couples that choose to use them, but that is not for us.

Fair enough.

 

JandCMI said:

We both like women and we would both feel cheated if we played with a single man. It isn't about one of us having fun, it's about both of us having fun.

And the other couple or the single woman, too, I hope.

 

JandCMI said:

Someone should start a thread where we share single male horror stories.

Ha ha.

 

 

With a little bit of searching you can find those threads on this board. There are also the couples "horror story" threads, and the much-less-frequent, but still existing, single female horror story threads.

 

There ARE a lot of single male "bad apples." Unfortunately, as far as I can see, the rot doesn't exclude couples or single females either.

[JandCMI 15]

There ARE a lot of single male "bad apples." Unfortunately, as far as I can see, the rot doesn't exclude couples or single females either.

 

It certainly doesn't. But since single men are the most "dispensable" commodity in the swinging world the bad single males get singled out and people are a lot less likely to put up with much bad behavior out of them than they would from couples or females, so it seems. Just sayin...

[Energine 9]

One person's bad experiences or intolerances do not make a phenomenon. Personally, and whilst I'm not single, I'll be damned if I'm going to generalise and put in some petty self-opinionated black and white view about single men like some do in posts here. Yes some men are "bastards" just as some women and couples are "bastards". This site, unless I'm mistaken or there is false advertising is for human swingers of all persuasions not just an elite club for married couples and married men who believe they own their wives (permission is two way in a democracy fellas). The advice regarding single males on this site is arguably rather biased if not discriminatory even if it was designed (no doubt based on experience) to try to educate and guide some single men about basic human etiquette and dignity. I think that some married men and women also need education on basic human rights it would seem and not just re single men.

[Bama0468 93]

Energine said:

One person's bad experiences or intolerance do not make a phenomenon. Personally, and whilst I'm not single, I'll be damned if I'm going to generalize and put in some petty self-opinionated black and white view about single men like some do in posts here. Yes some men are "bastards" just as some women and couples are "bastards". This site, unless I'm mistaken or there is false advertising is for human swingers of all persuasions not just an elite club for married couples and married men who believe they own their wives (permission is two way in a democracy fellas). The advice regarding single males on this site is arguably rather biased if not discriminatory even if it was designed (no doubt based on experience) to try to educate and guide some single men about basic human etiquette and dignity. I think that some married men and women also need education on basic human rights it would seem and not just re single men.

 

I take a bit of offense to this post, as while there may be a feeling of a slant it does not exactly exist. I would venture to say that most of those against single males have a personal experience that made their view that way. I know my wife and I do, by the same token as said previously we have one for females as well.

 

We prefer married couples, committed relationship types,why? for our security and sanity for one, the other is IF we have a committed couple and they are willing (as we are on occasion) to play alone, after all sometimes schedules do not click, age of children etc, we KNOW the single guy, what he's about, the agenda if you will. We also know that as COUPLES we can reciprocate, and may even flow the other way for the ladies. We have the single most education in this site on human rights, and to try to interject Politically Correct Standards here simply is not PC

 

Now that being said here is a wee bit of advice for the single Folks, and I am fairly CERTAIN there is a post some where with all the guide lines in it (Don't act shock that there are rules, every swinger (couple or otherwise) has some sort of rules for their own interaction when it comes to Play time)

 

BE respectful when your communicating with the couple (as individual or otherwise).

Their Rules for Play are the LAW don't break them and Don't ask for them to be later on.

If asked to back off, by all means Back off.

If asked to Join in, if your comfortable doing so, Please do, if not Communicate it.

Just because you were asked once, don't expect it again unless asked (begging makes you look bad)

They are the couple and you are their for their fantasy/Pleasure, so make sure YOU know what is desired ahead of time.

 

There is more but that's off the top of my head

 

Please don't take my comments as a slamming hatred, it is not, nor is this site set up for or to be used for insulting anger, it is for

 

1) Friendships

2) Education (from those who have the experience to assist)

3)Connecting (so we all know we are not alone nor the only ones)

4) FUN (after all that's what Swinging is about ..isn't it?)

5)Communication (between spouses, expressing ones self and discussing wants, desires and needs)

 

For with out proper, thorough communication between spouse and between Couples and playmates there is only disaster, heartache and nightmares.

[wetpanties 5]

Single Men don't have any human rights in our bedroom! STOP trying to open the door where they just aren't wanted. What part of NO don't you understand?

[Energine 9]

It's good to see some lively reflection and debate about attitudes, beliefs and values about sex, communication and tolerance. I do take the point that some single males have been less than sociable or nice and that has coloured some people's opinions. As to no human rights on this site for single males - doesn't even deserve a response.

[rachan 53]

I'm somewhat amused by some clubs that 'welcome' couples and women but not single males. I love sex with my husband and other men and as I'm writing this there are two men in my house.

[Thrax 384]

Bama0468 said:

Now that being said here is a wee bit of advice for the single Folks...

 

BE respectful when your communicating with the couple (as individual or otherwise).

Their Rules for Play are the LAW don't break them and Don't ask for them to be later on.

If asked to back off, by all means Back off.

If asked to Join in, if your comfortable doing so, Please do, if not Communicate it.

Just because you were asked once, don't expect it again unless asked (begging makes you look bad)...

Good advice for singles AND couples.

[LFM2 1,482]

 

BE respectful when your communicating with the couple (as individual or otherwise)

Their Rules for Play are the LAW don't break them and Don't ask for them to be later on.

If asked to back off, by all means Back off

If asked to Join in, if your comfortable doing so, Please do, if not Communicate it.

Just because you were asked once, don't expect it again unless asked (begging makes you look bad)

They are the couple and you are their for their fantasy/Pleasure, so make sure YOU know what is desired ahead of time.

 

There is more but thats off the top of my head

 

I totally agree with Thrax, this is should include couples as well.

 

One thing that struck me is that as a couple, we do have rules -- but, so does our single male. I'm sure, or at least I'm hoping it's been mentioned before -- I think it needs to be a mutual agreement, just like it would as if we played with a couple.

 

I don't know, we've only had one single male that we play with so we can be quite ignorant on this subject. We've always treated each other with a mutual respect. We're not so vain and arrogant to think this is just about us. We, as a couple need to think of his needs, too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he's not there to just be our slave and do what we want. We want to make sure he's happy as well and that we've filled his wants and needs at the same time.

[Bama0468 93]

I totally agree with Thrax, this is should include couples as well.

 

One thing that struck me is that as a couple, we do have rules -- but, so does our single male. I'm sure, or at least I'm hoping it's been mentioned before -- I think it needs to be a mutual agreement, just like it would as if we played with a couple.

 

I don't know, we've only had one single male that we play with so we can be quite ignorant on this subject. We've always treated each other with a mutual respect. We're not so vain and arrogant to think this is just about us. We, as a couple need to think of his needs, too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he's not there to just be our slave and do what we want. We want to make sure he's happy as well and that we've filled his wants and needs at the same time.

 

LMF I conrgatulate you on finding not only a single Male Playmate but what appears to be an extension of your family , and I never said the single didn't NEED anything, thats where the communication comes in. And yes the same can be said of the rules for Couples as well. I do know for a fact that there are etiquette posts in the archives area under swing does don'ts and how to's.

 

Lets face it EVERY aspect of the lifestyle no matter what your choice boils down to communication, MUTUAL Respect, Mutual fun, and mutual pleasure.

 

If there is no communication-

if there is no Mutual Respect-

if there is no mutual fun -

The relationship will fail

If there is no mutual fun - the Single/Couple will likely not get revisited or be asked over again. ( yes I know anyone can have off nights, but we all know what I am speaking of)

 

Everyone has to do what "FITS" for theselves whether they be a Single or a couple, if the couple does not want Singles (Male or Otherwise), such as my wife and I as I stated in my earlier Post, then that should be respected and not berated, Just as I do not berate those who choose to invite singles.

 

As the old saying Goes, one bad apple can spoil the lot, and this applys to couples as well as singles. Too many times I have read about a couple PUSHING activities on a couple, activities they had said in the beginning they didn't want, and what are the rules of engagement? Stick with what the less experienced or the more Vanilla. Some Singles are the same way or get clingy afterward and want to push more into the couples lives.

 

lets be honest whats right for one is not right for all, and had our experience with a single been different then maybe we would have invited them back or even looked for another.

 

maybe I will Start another thread and share our Stories of Singles, and perhaps those who partake of the singles in a positive manner could do the same, Although I can not imagine this site being here as long as it has and there not being some pro and con postings in here already.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

As to no human rights on this site for single males - doesn't even deserve a response.

 

No one said they have no rights on this site, she said that they have no human rights in HER bedroom.

 

Single Men don't have any human rights in our bedroom! STOP trying to open the door where they just aren't wanted. What part of NO don't you understand?

[Thrax 384]

Bama0468 said:

...maybe I will Start another thread and share our Stories of Singles, and perhaps those who partake of the singles in a positive manner could do the same, Although I can not imagine this site being here as long as it has and there not being some pro and con postings in here already.

I'm sure threads devoted to stories of single males in a negative light, and a thread devoted to single males in a positive light, would generate lots of stories, some of which have already been told in other threads.

 

I'm a single male who tries hard but admittedly commits the occasional faux pas. I would appreciate it, if anyone does start single male negative story and/or single male positive story threads, that the threads are devoted to stories about single males, and will not knowingly include stories about married men pretending that they are single. Those of us single males who try to be respectful have to fight the single male stereotype; we don't need to carry the baggage of the cheating married males, too.

 

Thanks for your consideration.

[Energine 9]

Yes you are absolutely correct there and I apologise to wetpanties for my jumping in way too quick before thinking.(? a case of my premature ejaculation of words).

[Guest screaminggood]

Thrax, and others: Be reassured. Those of us who adore single men will always find you, and there's going to be a place in our beds for you. I've found that the single men at our favorite club are respectful gentlemen...and extremely good at the game.

 

I'm the opposite of most posters in that I prefer single men over the married men! The single men I've been with have focused much more on my pleasure than their own, and there's been ultra longevity. Is it just happenstance? I don't know, but rest assured, I'm not giving y'all up no matter how many rants there are on the Board.

[Hot Raleigh Cpl 164]

Single males are welcome here. Or groups of males. Most of our adventures are males for L. She loves it, and we have hot times afterwards.

 

As long as you're clean d/d free (like us), sane, and treat L like the lady she is, you'll get no barriers from us. The few jerks we've met have been a low percentage of the guys who've contacted us. YES, we play with couples and single women, too. But most of our play is L and guys.

[Rae and Lynn 17]

We have been swinging since May 2002...we are an in love interracial married couple (she black, he white)...75% of our swinging is mfm threesomes for a variety of reasons (she loves being the center of attention, loves to have two dicks to play with and pleasure her, I am recovering from prostate cancer) and we always start with a social meet and greet to see if we all get along and to see if my wife and the new guy have a sexual attraction. The show rate for the guys is 33% (for constrast - the couple show rate is 100%). We have found out that our best bet for a successful meet and greet followed by successful play time are guys who are in fact married that are playing with their wife's permission (we were surprised by how many there are) - we know they have their wife's permission as we meet with both so we have it right from her in person......they turn out to better lovers, have fewer issues, want more than a one night stand....just one couple's view but you asked for opinions....this is ours..

[jnbsmokin 29]

I'm just sick of being hammered with single male emails! Single men are a dime a dozen, any woman or couple has their pick, with plenty to share. I agree with bear and bunny for the most part, any couple can walk into any bar and pick a single male up for free. We are looking for the couples and unicorns, but if we want a single male, we will find you! I think the single men should stop being so pushy!! We have stalkers on SLS and AFF. Look, if you are wanted, we will tell you, and if we tell you yes, and that we will give you a weeks notice of when we can play, take it as "Stop buzzing us everytime we turn im on, and quit writing daily emails asking to keep you in mind, or if I'm sure J wouldn't go for 1-on-1!" The bad apples ruin it for the singles to the point that we would rather pick up a single vanilla in a bar, than deal with any swingles (as I sometimes call them) on a site. I'm sorry, but that is my blunt answer....

[visaman 15]

What if the single guy wants to bang the wife's husband?

[sar308 15]

Quote

What if the single guy wants to bang the wife's husband?

 

Oh man, now that's funny! But like anything else it probably happens.

[asiancplemd 15]

JustAskJulie said:

No one said they have no rights on this site, she said that they have no human rights in HER bedroom.

 

We have been swinging since 1999 and have had our shares of single guys. It all depends on her mood as to whom she want to play. Some of them have been very good and some just say.... pencil dicks.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Ya' know, it is amazing to me that this thread is still going after 24 pages. Swinging is all about choices, and only we control those choices. In our case, after being on SLS for only a short period of time, we blocked single males. Not because we do not play with them, but because the ones on there were a pain. So, if you don't want to hear from single males, block them and you don't have to deal with them.

[Wildthingplus 47]

I only go to clubs that allow single men. In my case I am the only one that plays; my husband watches. I do not like the drama that occurs in couples-only clubs. My experience with single guys has been only positive: They are polite, respectful , and attentive. I love having sex with more than one person in a night; only the clubs that allow single guys provides this opportunity – it just doesn’t happen in a couple-only atmosphere. Clubs that allow single guys as well as couples provide the best mix for everyone: There are plenty of couples for those looking only for couples, yet there are enough single guys to mix things up for people like me.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Wildthingplus,

 

I agree with you that the single guys we have met at the clubs have been polite and fun. It is the online jerks hiding behind the Internet that are a pain in the butt.

[Doug19482000 18]

Swinger-----Maybe. Swapper Impossible

[Chris&Amelia 253]

I love having sex with more than one person in a night; only the clubs that allow single guys provides this opportunity – it just doesn’t happen in a couple-only atmosphere.

 

Oh, I have to disagree with this wholeheartedly.

 

Two words: "Room Party"

[jimnjan 16]

We host monthly parties (usually around 150+ people). We allow single males. I will tell you this, on our sign up list, we'll have about 75-100 sign ups, and about 25 of them will be single males...HOWEVER...only about 10 show up! Why, I don't know. But that's what we've found. Some people are NOT looking for single males for whatever reason (personally, I think it's insecurity, cuz they sure as hell are looking for single women, even to the point that they show interest in the couple but tell you they only want the female).

 

I hate those parties where you have to 'sponsor' single males or ask the hosts permission to bring them. Why? Well, it's no one's business who I'm meeting, and M&G's are a great place to meet them without wasting 2-3 hours of your time and $75 (dinner/drinks). You don't like them, you walk away, harder to do over dinner/drinks.

[Mr.Essex 264]

If I'd read this thread prior to becoming a single swinger, I would have never entered the lifestyle. But I did, and I'm (possibly) all the better for it.

[mixtupcpl 169]

Its really awe inspiring that such a basic, common sense, thing has generated years of discussion!

 

The thing I don't get is why so many single guys feel the need to take this shit so personally. As if they're unaware that the vast majority of guys DO behave like assholes and that a VERY small percentage of men can even CONTEMPLATE this LS outside of them "fucking some dudes wife! huh huh"

 

My litmus test for single males if that was an interest area for us (it isnt) would be "if/when you get married/attached, do YOU plan to discuss sharing with her?" I wonder how many "single male swingers" would answer yes? My guess? Few. That means we're just on different wavelengths which, for me at least, isnt cool. Now of course some would say YES and mean it. And those guys, to me, are real swingers.

 

If we decide to let some guy fuck my wife, why wouldnt I want the comfort of another couple I know is like minded and shares our basic belief system on it?

 

For the single guys who can't get past these simple, fundamental, realities, just stick with the ladies (who ARE out there), who are into the MMMMMMMMMMM gang bang kink or the cuck guys (who I *think* may be really out there) who just want their wife serially fucking.

 

Interesting to note, though, that those two particular kinks above seem to be HUGE pay site fodder which makes me think they appeal to the fantasy of lots of horny, single, guys whacking off in the dark which makes me wonder how many REAL couples are into those lifestyles. But still, I KNOW there are some, and Im sure those areas offer the least barrier to entry for a desperate single (cant be too selective when the goal is for the wife to fuck most of the east coast before her 40th bday ).

 

The other thing is that most of this shit doesnt apply at all to most of the SM here who seem genuinely thoughtful and respectful of the ladies, the LS and the husbands and you guys should know that. Just by registering here, posting thoughtful comments, and sticking around, you're already WAY WAY ahead of "normal" guys. For guys like that, any couple that seeks a SM to add some spice will be happy to consider you, but you WILL have to fight through ALL of that noise mentioned above. Thats just how it is.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

You know, funny that you mention that, mixtucpl. True story...

 

I've been talking to a friend of ours. We've known her and her husband for 11+ years, and they're the only vanilla couple that knows we're swingers. Well, she's been picking my brain on the entire "swinging" thing, and she has admitted to me (like I couldn't figure it out) that she's interested in trying it.

 

This is no surprise to me... ever since I've known her, I know she's had a fairly liberated view on sex*.

 

So one day she's talking to me and she says "Hey, we discussed it and we're interested in trying it out. You know, taking it slow at first."

 

Me: "Great! You can come with Amelia and I to the next Meet & Greet if you like, maybe meet some new people, make some new friends.**"

 

Her: "Well... uh...."

 

Me: "What's up?"

 

Her: "We we wondering if you guys could... you know... show us the ropes."

 

Me: "Uh. Wow. I don't know, I would have to discuss that with Amelia."

 

Her: (looking a little uncomfortable)

 

Me: "You want to say something?"

 

Her: "Well... he says that he couldn't stand to see me with another guy, so he was wondering if it could be a threesome... you know... Amelia and us."

 

So, long story short, while he's a nice guy, and we consider both of them good friends, he wants to have sex with my wife and not share in return. I think it has more to do with jealousy then selfishness, but I could be wrong.

 

As promised, I discussed it with Amelia, and we agreed that she really wasn't interested in a threesome with them, especially if I was going to be left out of the loop. But I referred them to SLS on the off-chance they could find a single female, and our offer to take them to a M&G still stands, but it appears that their consideration into the Lifestyle ended with our rejection of their "offer".

 

* - No, we never hooked up.

** - Would we play with them? I don't know. They're an attractive, young couple. But... well... we've known them for so long. It would be weird.