No single males? Why not??

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

We pretty much enjoy all scenarios.

 

Couples are hard because you are trying to get four people to click but oh they are sooooooo fun!! Everyone gets to have sex and you can mix it up in various ways too. Plus, Spoo and I can still get to watch each other have a great time.

 

We like singles (male or female) because threesomes are just fun which ever way it goes. It is a special treat for your spouse MFM or FMF to get all the attention It fulfills a fantasy for both of us since we both enjoy seeing each other have a great time and lots of pleasure.

 

So I say mix it up and try it all.

[JnCC 24]

Just cause you have pussy to 'trade' doesn't make you worthy. THAT attitude my friends is what soured us on couples for good.

Welllll......I guess you could be talking about moi, since I'm one of those guys who occasionally attends a swing club with a friend that I don't share a deep emotional involvement with. In other words, a "Fuck Buddy."

 

I'm not doing that in order to "have a pussy to trade." The fact is, there are just some things that are more fun to do if you do them with a friend. Lifestyle events are one of them.

 

Ultimately, you and the Mrs have to decide who's "worthy" and who's not. If you're main interest is in MFM activities, then having a "pussy to trade" isn't going to be a factor in your decision one way or another. In fact, it might even be a hindrance to me, since my friend may be waiting for a signal from you to get things started.

 

On the other hand, if a woman is thinking "Hmmmm, yea!" about me, but her male companion isn't into MFM (which most aren't) then the fact that I have a female partner can make a difference. That's assuming that both my partner and the other man are having the same "Hmmmm, yea!" thoughts about each other. That doesn't always happen. It didn't always happen when I was doing this as part of a married couple either.

 

Nobody knows better than I do, the importance of being married or in an otherwise committed relationship to many couples in the Lifestyle. It was very important to us when I was married. That's why I never make excuses or try to misrepresent our situation at a club. If somebody asks, I'll tell them "We're just friends, here to have a good time. We don't live together. There's no "&" between our first names. She has her own Swappernet profile and club membership card." If they don't ask, we assume it's because it doesn't matter to them, and we proceed at whatever pace is appropriate.

 

BTW, most couples DO ask, and I think that overall, we're more favorably received because we're there with a companion.

 

I never regard my companion as "pussy to trade." If I had any "pussy to trade," I'd trade it for a good carpet cleaning or a tank of gas for my SUV, or something else I couldn't find on Match.com.

 

I hope this clears up the question of why some singles prefer to attend lifestyle functions with a friend.

[Lustman 15]

For the honorable swinger males it is not about a free sex but a desire to be more intimate with the other party

[EvilMJ 65]

For the honorable swinger males it is not about a free sex but a desire to be more intimate with the other party

 

I don't know if this is completely true. I have met single guys who are just in it for free sex. They are completely honest about that adnd that does not make them any less honorable then many couples. There is nothing wrong wtih that in my opinon. I am in this to have fun and to have sex. I don't want a relationship, I already have one.

 

There are a couple of single males in my 'swinging life", one who I message periodically, we have some nice hot conversations and look forward to us all playing together. Hubby knows him and has spoken to him at length and is comfortable with him becuase he is a good guy. The other guy was some quick fun in a hot tub with another friend of mine (female). We all had a blast, I only know his first name, and will probably never lay eyes on him again. Both scenarios are great. I think single males play a part in swinging, it is just up to the couples to determine the type of guy they are looking for and go from there. I treat them the same way I treat looking for couples: do i feel any attraction, do I get any creepy vibes, do I enjoy being around them. If all systems are go then hold on, if not, then move on.

[mycokizyrz 15]

Hi i'm new to the site and just wanted to add my 2 cents.. I'm a single male, and a moderator at an exhibitionist forum. I see posts all the time just saying basically "Hi, want to cam?" Followed by an IM ID. Sometimes they're posted to everyone as a new thread, or posted in reply to a lady's thread. I just laugh and say to myself "What's this idiot thinking??" That's no better than "Hi, Wanna fuck?" I can see why it's so hard for single males with so many idiots like that out there. It's about communicating and getting to know someone, and SHOWING RESPECT. Hear that guys?? RESPECT!

[hilltop 16]

I think single males play a part in swinging, it is just up to the couples to determine the type of guy they are looking for and go from there. I treat them the same way I treat looking for couples: do i feel any attraction, do I get any creepy vibes, do I enjoy being around them. If all systems are go then hold on, if not, then move on.

 

Well said!

 

I see couples the same way. An opportunity presented is not necessarily an opportunity taken. It has a whole bunch o' factors. When it's right for everyone then whooohooo! If not, that's life . . .

 

It's one of the biggest attractions of swinging for me. I'm not looking to start

a relationship either. Be it hot casual or including some level of friendship, it's a time of intimacy between people and that's always nice.

[nhcpl1968 18]

My husband and I had been swinging on and off for about 12 years. We stopped. The reason is my husband and I had a single male friends who we both knew, I had my 2 males. One day the single male showed up at my door one evening. My husband wasn't home, he was at work. I let this person in because i knew him. He took advantage, while husband wasn't home. I was raped by this person. My husband and I stopped swinging because of what happened. My husband and I just started again about 9 months ago. We both talked very hard about this. We just started being friends with other couples and single females. We both agree no single males for time being.

[Wellwhatever 15]

Quote

Sometimes we just wonder "if you're such a great guy, why don't you have a wife or girlfriend"

Single men are single because of what single and married women do to damage marriage and relationships.

 

While we're at it, why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

[Perseus 16]

Wellwhatever said:

Single men are single because of what single and married women do to damage marriage and relationships.

 

While we're at it, why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

 

Or even ask if hat couple has such a great relationship, why are the looking for others? Must be to fix their bad relationship... right?

 

/sarcasm off

 

Of course I don't believe that. I say it to point out that everyone has their reasons for where they are in life.

[BlueberryHillCp 15]

I think single men derserve a chance to prove themselves. not all single men act like jerks. I met a really great single man, and now he is the love of my life. Yes I agree most single men do act like jerks, and treat women as sex objects, I've dealt with my share of them over the years. Let's give the single men a chance to prove themselves to be decent...

[dudleydoesit2 17]

I'm widowed now and I'm not about to get married again. My wife and I were active in the lifestyle for more than 18 years and enjoyed it immensely but, since I no longer live in the same location, our old acquaintances are too far distant and although I would like to continue these activities, I have found that single males are more or less ignored on the swinger sites. Looking back on things, while three was our favorite number, the threesomes we had were virtually always with a male or female who was part of a couple that we had previously partied with and the other spouse always knew and approved. Bringing in a single woman was a frequent occurance but it was a rare occasion that we would ever bring a single male into the mix. Now that I'm on the single male end of the stick, although I'm greatly disappointed at the lack of acceptance, I do understand why I'm on the outside looking in.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Wellwhatever said:

While we're at it, why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

 

I remember, when I was a kid, a joke that got told around my house. Of course, I didn't get it as a kid, but for some reason it has always stuck with me... Maybe it has been in my memory for a post like this...

 

A little boy and a little girl decide to play doctor. She shows him her's - and then he shows her his. She is shocked - having never seen a penis before.

 

"I want one!" She says - and the boy just laughs.

 

"It's mine," He says, laughing meanly. "You can't have one!"

 

The girl stomps off upset...

 

The next day, she sees the liitle boy again and she starts laughing.

 

"What are you laughing at?" He asks.

 

She points at her "girl part" and says, "I told my mom that we played doctor and that I wanted a penis. I told her you said I couldn't have one. But she said as long as I have one of these, I can have any one of those I want."

 

 

It's not really a fair question now is it?

[EternallySingle 32]

For those of you that didn't get it, single women swing because 75% of the time they are going to have sex with the person/people they want to have sex with. In fact, women can do that without swinging. Unfortunately, I helped a married woman cheat this summer. I found out she was married when she called to cancel our date because her husband decided to join her for the weekend. When she tried to confront me after I said I didn't want to see her again, she said that she and her husband have a deal. During the summer the kids go to summer camp and they do what they want, no questions, no explainations. That was cool...for them. I cancelled dinner with an ex-girlfriend because I was supposed to go out with miss Open Marriage. Of course, when I called the other woman to say I was free, she had found someone else to go to dinner with.

 

For women it is almost that easy. Men typically have to look for someone to have sex with. Women typically only have to choose from who is available. Different actions, same amount of difficulty. For men, the problem is being taken seriously. For women its knowing who is serious and capable, but its rarely finding someone who is willing. A woman that works at having sex with a particular man is either trying to match schedules or trying to convince him to take her seriously...and she won't do either for long unless she is tunnel vision hire a private investigator to follow him can't sleep because she wants to know where he is every moment has a three hundred dollar a month cell phone bill because she calls him every fifteen minutes in love.

[tribbles 490]

why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

 

This question was asked and just FYI...we have actually started asking this question since we have had more drama from being with a single gal than all the males put together.

 

It makes us think there is something to the swinging is for couples concept.

[guteman 15]

I guess we were lucky! Our first was with a very respectful, intelligent single male. He was so great, we returned the next day! He was very cool to the mrs. and made her feel special. It was his first MMF too. Unfotunately, he moved away a couple of day later. We keep in touch, just in case he should ever come back for a visit. The mrs. had the best orgasm I have ever seen. I hope the rest of you can have the experience we had. I think it's unfair to group all single males in the "scmuck" categorie.

[tmbttd 15]

Re. Single Guys...this is what I wrote to BettyAnn's comments: "As my profile indicates I am married but I also categorically state that my wife and I have swung together and separately. Since my wife has and is battling a most difficult menopause heightened by a recent total hysterectomy, and cannot take traditional hormone supplements because she is susceptible to migraine headache and they acerbate that problem, but more importantly she is being treated for ovarian cancer. A once, very sexually vibrant woman is so only in her mind and memories. As noted in my profile it was MY wife who noted that I seemed "out of sorts" and as we've always been tremendously open and frank in our union-in-marriage-in-friendship-in-each other, she picked up on the fact that I missed sex and even missed the social aspects of the lifestyle. We have moved to a different state and been here for some 8 years now and have only traveled to be with old friends back from where we came...meaning we have not made any new lifestyle relationships here. Consequently my wife suggested I open up a profile on the Swingers Board, be most candid in my profile and see what happens. Of course I am acutely aware that non-coupled men are way, way down on the totem pole of other couples and groups invitations.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you that there are some situations that are NOT part of the mold one normally associates with being a couple or a "single" male.

 

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest." Situation #1 is NOT always Situation #2.

[wetpanties 5]

We think there might be a decent single male out there but we haven't found any. The ones we've met were obnoxious, pushy sob's and we won't go anyplace that invites them. Single males are all over and easy to find if someone is looking for one. Long before swinging became the politically correct name - this activity was called "wife swapping". Single males would be similar to going to a high stakes card game with no money. They have nothing to swap, nothing to loose and everything to gain.

[curiousagain 326]

I always thought wife swapping was a part of swinging or one thing that some swingers do. If a couple has a FMF with a single female, it's hardly wife swapping, but people would call it swinging. Everybody has their own perceptions, no harm, no foul.

[hilltop 16]

We think there might be a decent single male out there but we haven't found any. The ones we've met were obnoxious, pushy sob's and we won't go anyplace that invites them. Single males are all over and easy to find if someone is looking for one. Long before swinging became the politically correct name - this activity was called "wife swapping". Single males would be similar to going to a high stakes card game with no money. They have nothing to swap, nothing to loose and everything to gain.

 

There’s poor behavior on both sides of the field.

 

I think if you read through some of the other posts on this board you’ll find couples that only swing with single males or females because the hassle and drama surrounding couples is more than they’re willing to deal with. As a single male I’ve certainly encountered rude, pushy, obnoxious behavior from many couples as well.

 

So using your anecdotal approach, do I make the determination that couples are not worth the effort you have to put into meeting them? No. I prefer to gain a perspective on others as individuals knowing I’ll have to take the good with the bad. Welcome to life.

 

Sure, we have plenty to lose. Being treated rudely and with disrespect on a regular basis with complete disregard whether offense is being given. Constantly being relegated to some “sub class” only there for the pleasure of the couple. Most of this is experienced with no “gain” whatsoever.

 

If swinging with single males is not your thing, then don’t. Pretty easy eh?

 

Curiousagain is right; wife swapping is one part of swinging not its only definition.

 

Back in the 70’s and 80’s (before the PC craze) we always called ourselves swingers. In our area wife swapping was the term used by people who were not in the lifestyle.

[Dynamar 246]

Sure, we have plenty to lose. Being treated rudely and with disrespect on a regular basis with complete disregard whether offense is being given. Constantly being relegated to some “sub class” only there for the pleasure of the couple. Most of this is experienced with no “gain” whatsoever.

And the behavior is sometimes not just directed at single males, but single females as well. Points well taken, hilltop.

[JnCC 24]

We think there might be a decent single male out there but we haven't found any. The ones we've met were obnoxious, pushy sob's and we won't go anyplace that invites them.

I don't blame you one damn bit. When I was involved in this as part of a couple, we didn't go to them either, for many of the same reasons you cited. Call it the "Groucho Marx maxim" or whatever, but it's the main reason I don't go to them now..."I wouldn't attend any club that would have me as a member"

 

However... whether it's your cup of tea or not, there are couples who occasionally enjoy a single male. I think that for those people the search for the right one can be extremely tedious, and is probably exacerbated by the fact that they tend to look for them in the traditional places, I.E., swing clubs and websites. I would think that finding one there is like finding a good job in the want ads. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but based on what I've seen, I'm just skeptical, that's all.

 

(I'm sure somebody will say what a "great single male" they found at a swing club, and I have no reason to contradict them. After all, I once knew somebody that secured a "really great job" in fast-food management from an application that was printed on the back of their tray liner. It was a "really great job"...for them)

 

Long before swinging became the politically correct name - this activity was called "wife swapping".

It doesn't matter what it's called, "A rose by any other name would still be a rose," This is still an activity that's rooted primarily on the needs both men and women have for variety in their sexual relationships, while preserving their primary, emotional bond with each other. Who, other than another couple who's facing the same dilemma, can better understand those needs or the responsibilities and limitations that being in the lifestyle imposes?

 

Single males would be similar to going to a high stakes card game with no money. They have nothing to swap, nothing to loose and everything to gain.

It would seem that way, but I believe that the presence of single males does bring something to the swinging enviornment, although what they bring is intangible, and therefore, unappreciated. Any woman knows that when a man is faced with "competition," he will respond by becoming more attentive to her...we're all much better lovers and companions when we know we can be replaced. In addition, it's been fairly well-documented that a mans orgasm will become more powerful and produce a greater quantity of ejaculate when other males are present and available to the female as well. So, while you may detest single males in the swinging enviornment, you ought consider thanking them instead. You're having more and better orgasms because of them.

 

There's another way you, as a husband, benefits by having "extra" guys around, and that is that by having other men show an interest in your wife, she becomes more confidant in her ability to please whatever man (or men) she ultimately chooses. Women, especially middle-aged women, are often full of self-doubt about their bodies and their ability to attract men. That's especially true in swing clubs where there always seem to be younger, prettier women around. If you believe (as I do) that a women of any age who feels sexy is sexy, then what better way to boost her ego than by having a half-dozen young guys on the other side of the room who would "do her in a New York second" if offered the chance?

 

In short, her sexual self-confidence translates into good sex for you. Your knowing that she's desireable to other men translates into good sex for her. It's a win/win.

 

(Well, except for the poor single-schmucks that got you two all wound-up in the first place, but that's a different subject)

 

When comparing single males to paupers trying to enter a high-stakes card game, remember that not all single males are created equal. "Young, attractive, fit, single males" seem to be moderately successful in some swing clubs, while "old, ugly, fat single males" almost never are. What those successful males are "bringing to the table" isn't another woman for you to fuck, it's an attractive, personable young man for your wife to fuck. Judging from what I've seen of the single guys who DO score at clubs and the married women they're scoring with, I'd say it's the guys, by and large, who are on the short end of the deal. (Just a personal note, and one more reason I don't go to clubs alone)

 

So, back to your analogy about card games...while I don't have the balls or the money to be seated at a "high stakes poker game," I'm sure that were I "Jenna Jameson" or "Jeanine Lindemuller," I would have no trouble finding somebody to stake me.

[HappyPeople 17]

A single person, be it male or female, just isn't our thing... We're more into the whole "puppy pile" type of sexual interaction. A single person just doesn't do it for us.

 

One thing about the single guys that does get annoying is that dispite our very friendly "No single guys" mention in our profiles, they continue to email and attempt chat. Why don't some of them get it? The sinlge males that suffer from "Male Pattern Optimism" and pester folks who aren't interested in them probably give the good and decent guys a bad rep.

[NLAngel 15]

Our issue (husband and I) living in Portland, is the amount of "gay" single males that respond to our ads feigning interest in me and going to the swing parties. My husband is really good at weeding out the losers who respond to the ad, but underneath it all want to get it on with Brett... So, finding a male that is part of a hetero couple is a good way for us to find a straight guy straight off......

[longmale 15]

Male Looking For Some Fun

[Alura 2,774]

Thank you, Longmale, for an excellent example of why single men have a tough time in the lifestyle. TeeHee.

 

Mr. Alura

[Sweet_Candy 54]

Thank you, Longmale, for an excellent example of why single men have a tough time in the lifestyle. TeeHee.

 

Mr. Alura

 

So true Mr. Alura

[Thrax 384]

Male Looking For Some Fun

Disneyland is probably open today...

 

Thrax

[visaman 15]

Instead of MFM, how about spicing things up with MMF? Anywho, I have been at orgies, and gangbangs, but I have a partner, and we are going to our first couples only party this month. She is older (late 40's) and almost all of her teeth are missing, but she has a great rack, she is nervous, but willing!

[visaman 15]

Our issue (husband and I) living in Portland, is the amount of "gay" single males that respond to our ads feigning interest in me and going to the swing parties. My husband is really good at weeding out the losers who respond to the ad, but underneath it all want to get it on with Brett... So, finding a male that is part of a hetero couple is a good way for us to find a straight guy straight off......

 

I was in Portland this April, I will have to go back to catch all that I missed. Do you go to the Jefferson?

 

Why are "gay" men losers? That's Homophobic talk if I ever heard it, and besides more likely bi than gay almost 100%. Tell your hubby to Try it, you'll like it!

[Thrax 384]

Why are "gay" men losers? That's Homophobic talk if I ever heard it, and besides more likely bi than gay almost 100%. Tell your hubby to Try it, you'll like it!

NLAngel did not say that gay men are losers. She is labeling as "losers" the guys that contact them and feign interest in her, but appear to be more interested in getting in her husband's pants. There is no way you can tell from that post that she might be homophobic, but it seems to me that she and her husband are liar-phobic.

 

From her post, it seems abvious that her husband is not interested in MM play, and she supports him in that. And maybe he doesn't want to "try it" because he isn't interested in it.

 

Thrax

P.S. And I apologize to some longtime posters if I have now encouraged ANOTHER flogging of that poor, dead horse...

[Sweet_Candy 54]

Thrax said:

P.S. And I apologize to some longtime posters if I have now encouraged ANOTHER flogging of that poor, dead horse...

Well I guess since "dreaded" doesn't come to mind when I think "Thrax" we can overlook the flogging this time. Watch it bud you're on notice!

[3sumff 31]

Very simple....were just not interested in the other male factor.

[prettylady 221]

I understand why the single males appear to be frustrated and at times angry. For the most part the gentlemen on this thread have been trying desperately to make a valid point. Sadly on a couple of occasions they have been made guilty by association. I have seen throughout this board about threesomes. I for one am not interested in being one of two females in a threesome. Dog has suggested a threesome with another man (NO!! he is not gay or bi. he just wants me to be pleased) But how do we find another man, without the other woman being left out??? Perhaps a single guy? I for one would like to know that there are single men here to chat and get to know before committing to this act. By the way, so I don't sound like I am selfish. I will not agree to a MFM because I can not agree to a FMF. It is not my cup of tea.

 

I hope this thread has not driven the gentlemen away from this forum. But that one guy with single male posting is welcome to leave as far as I am concerned. Your 0.02 wasn't worth it.

[Thrax 384]

visaman said:

Anywho, I have been at orgies, and gangbangs, but I have a partner, and we are going to our first couples only party this month. She is older (late 40's) and almost all of her teeth are missing, but she has a great rack, she is nervous, but willing!

Chicup said:

I read his post and then I wondered if her head was flat enough to hold the requisite beer can...

 

Yeah, it's an old joke...but so am I.

[JnCC 24]

I have a partner, and we are going to our first couples only party this month. She is older (late 40's) and almost all of her teeth are missing, but she has a great rack, she is nervous, but willing!

I read his post and then I wondered if her head was flat enough to hold the requisite beer can... :rollseyes

Yea, I caught that too.

 

I've said this before, but it bears repeating. It's not just women who are "tickets" in swinging, it's BOTH. Any time you see a woman who is being used solely to gain access to this lifestyle, look closely. The guy is her ticket into some hitherto unattainable lifestyle, as well...

[Guest stangstud36]

The problem is some spoil it for the rest of us. Women and couples get harrassed online by desperate single males who don't take no for an answer. I feel that there are plenty of swingers out there and if one doesn't want to play with me I can live with that. I am not for everyone just as everyone is not for me. I am very respectful and feel that I have made a good name for myself in this lifestyle. However I don't even get a chance with some people because single guys have already turned them off all together from meeting with guys.

[JnCC 24]

...I don't even get a chance with some people because single guys have already turned them off all together from meeting with guys.

That may be true of "some" people, but the more likely reason they don't respond to you is that swinging is primarily a couples activity, and you (and I) are not "couples." You can't blame others, no matter how cretinous or ill-mannered, for the failure of single males to be assimilated into this community. The reason "we" are not a part of this community is primarily because we don't have pussies, and we don't bring pussies.

 

A few years ago, I sold my Corvette, let my membership in the Corvette club lapse, and bought a dad-mobile. Guess what?

 

I don't get invited to go on Corvette rally's anymore.

 

The reason I'm not invited to the rally's is NOT because I bought an SUV, nor is it because of how "other" guys drive their SUV's. It's because I no longer have a Corvette with which to participate in them.

 

This community is no different. If being a part of it is important to you, you know what you have to do...find a partner.

[Amanda69 24]

We live in an area where many clubs do allow single males, some unrestricted in numbers. At first this was a big problem.

 

You would get men who had no clue what swinging was about, they just saw an opportunity to get laid. Many had the attitude that if you were a female and a swinger that meant you would sleep with anyone.

 

After some great policing at the door and lessons given by many swingers (usually in the form of a berating lecture in front of many other singles) the guys finally started to get the picture.

 

Many who attend the clubs now are knowledgeable and respectful. They understand their place is as toys until such time they find a regular partner.

 

There are still the married singles (those who love to tell you all about how their wives either don't know or don't care that they are there) but those are quickly weeded out and shown the door.

 

The singles at the clubs do make for edgier evenings and in my case led me to meet the man I am currently living with...

[Alura 2,774]

To do what we choose to do, we need both a man and a woman. Why is that so hard for singles to understand?

[Thrax 384]

Alura said:

To do what we choose to do, we need both a man and a woman. Why is that so hard for singles to understand?

It is apparently difficult for some singles, or even many singles, but not all singles.

[flossyor 15]

BettyAnnMBSC said:

In my experience, single men generally don't understand what's really happening here.

 

I hear way too many -- "if your husband can't satisfy you then I can" and "can't we get together alone?"from single guys. I also have a problem interacting with many single guys -- a single (never married guy) just never seems to understand that paying the rent or washing clothes or cooking dinner or cleaning house are really important.

 

Sometimes, I find that single guys are way too pushy -- it's all about sex now! and rarely about well what do you like? -- the number of "hey wanna f**k" I get from single guys I never saw before is astounding -- what makes a single guy think I'm a total slut or whore just because my husband and I share this lifestyle?

 

The simple matter is, we are into sharing -- this is not about get what you can -- now, I do understand that there are many women who are after 1:1 time and a single guy is an acceptable choice -- except that many husbands/SOs prefer that we women not get involved with single guys, to much chance of emotional attachments forming on his part. That love word comes up with single guys too often.

 

Sometimes we just wonder "if you're such a great guy, why don't you have a wife or girlfriend" and if you have a wife or girlfriend but are playing alone then you are cheating and most of us don't like that attribute in a mans character.

 

I am not "looking for love" and for the most part, no guy is gonna show me anything I've not seen before. I'm not "a lonely housewife" or a "horny slut". But that seems to be the mentality of most single guys looking for playmates. My husband doesn't fail to satisfy me and your pecker probably really isn't "10 inches long and thick as a beer bottle" and if it is then please leave it in your pants around me. 10" is the distance from my elbow to wrist!

 

If you want to have a chance with a couple then there are some things single men must do:

* read about the lifestyle and begin to understand what it is really about.

* never ever ever treat her like a whore or slut unless that is what she wants.

* never ever ever assume that you're "the best lover ever" -- you're a different lover whose been invited to share. That's all!

* she probably isn't interested in falling in love with you and living happily ever after.

* if you're a homophobe then there is likely to be a problem -- when playing with couples, sometimes the husband will see your penis and you will see his sometimes, they will even bump into each other....

 

Just a few of my thoughts -- looking forward to reading those of others.

I so, 100% agree with you. I could not have said it better myself.

 

While I am not specifically looking for females, I do like that kind of playtime too. Had some great experiences like that.

 

I hate it when any man (married or single) says: "I love you." Greatest turn-off ever.

 

Thanks for making the effort of writing so succinctly and to the point.

 

[sereneiders 263]

supershadow said:

I find that it is mostly the husband fear that we WILL fuck their wives better than they can. If the wife is satisfied why is she out fucking another guy? This is like working at the buffet but are still hungry, why would that be? It is because the food is into satisfying. So hubbies try to make themselves more important by cock teasing with their wife. Yes it is cock teasing same as a woman or same as a gay man. Anyways the wife is being polite to her husbands pocketbook by keeping him around, and fucking us real men.

 

You are the married guy who want to cheat on your wife with swingers because you cannot get "what you deserve" at home.

 

I can see your point here: YOU wouldn't dare to ask your wife to swing because YOU KNOW she'd get way more than what you're able to provide her. Then you believe every guy in the world thinks the way you do, that no one is better than you, so we all (necessarily) are doing this because of what your few neurons allows you to figure out.

 

And you want to prove us all you're the "real man" able to give our wives the fuck of their lives, while you cannot give it not even to your own wife. But you're the one thinking you have the right to keep your wife behind seven locks to ensure she won't be able to compare you against other guys, our wives have plenty of experience to compare you. I can tell, you'll loose, just because you don't get it, for you a woman is just a set of holes to provide you fun.

 

Well, let me tell you.... you'll get what you deserve: no chance to fuck any of our wives, nor the chance to get some decent sex at your own home.

[She_n_Jaybee 15]

I've seen a LOT of places that put great restrictions on the number of single males that can attend, plus a lot of personals that say "no single males, please". What is the problem with single males?

 

The problem is, too many single males see swinging as an easy chance to get laid (it isn't). Clubs that allow single males in tend to be overrun. I've been a single male swinger in the past (okay, I was just thinking it was an easy chance to get laid). Here is what I've seen many times in clubs that allow single men in. A couple moves off to an open play area because they are turned on by having a few people watch them. Four to ten single men follow them, stand back and watch. As they start playing the crowd grows and starts moving closer. Within 5 minutes there are 20+ single men crowding to within inches of the couple. One man reaches out a hand and the couple doesn't stop him. Thirty seconds later, dozens of hands are all over her and sometimes him. Most of the guys closest are masturbating with their free hand. The woman (and often the man as well) are overwhelmed, and have to break out of the middle of this crowd. Often they go home and never return.

 

Meanwhile, the single males that are respectful are out sipping their beverage wondering why this club has so few couples? Even clubs that allow in "select" single males and enforce a very strict "don't touch without asking" rule have somewhat of a problem like this. When the men see a couple starting to do something, they swarm and start to masturbate. Most women don't want to see this. Us men are visual, most women aren't. Women are more about touch and feeling. You don't have to show a woman, she already knows you have a penis.

 

With all that said, i honestly do wish you good luck as a single male swinger.

[She_n_Jaybee 15]

I find that it is mostly the husband fear that we WILL fuck their wives better than they can. If the wife is satified why is she out fucking another guy? This is like working at the buffet but are still hungry, why would that be? It is because the food is nto satisfying. So hubbies try to make thenselvs more important by cock teasing with their wife. Yes it is cock teasing same as a woman or same as a gay man. Anyways the wife is being polite to her husbands pocketbook by keeping him around, and fucking us real men.

 

I realize I'm not the first to notice this response, nor the first to comment on it. But sometimes I just can't resist.

 

I've no doubt that you could "fuck" her better than I can. Because your sole interest and intent is to do just that. Us committed male partners have to juggle fucking, nurturing, protecting, providing, supporting, loving, caring, feeling, listening, holding, cuddling and just being there when they need us. We can't get by with "Hi, I have a penis. Spread 'em. Okay, you've been fucked".

 

I'd be more than happy to make you a friendly wager. Say $1000. You can come to our area, we'll arrange to meet you. You will have 12 hours to fuck my wife (technically, just a committed partner) better than I can. At the end of the 12 hours we'll ask her opinion. The loser hands over the money.

Feel up to the task? I can always use the extra money and just love sure things.

 

Of course, the punchline is you'd never get the chance. With your attitude, not only would you not get past 2nd base, you wouldn't even get up to the plate.

[Merric 21]

I realize I'm not the first to notice this response, nor the first to comment on it. But sometimes I just can't resist.

 

I've no doubt that you could "fuck" her better than I can. Because your sole interest and intent is to do just that. Us committed male partners have to juggle fucking, nurturing, protecting, providing, supporting, loving, caring, feeling, listening, holding, cuddling and just being there when they need us. We can't get by with "Hi, I have a penis. Spread 'em. Okay, you've been fucked".

 

I'd be more than happy to make you a friendly wager. Say $1000. You can come to our area, we'll arrange to meet you. You will have 12 hours to fuck my wife (technically, just a committed partner) better than I can. At the end of the 12 hours we'll ask her opinion. The loser hands over the money.

Feel up to the task? I can always use the extra money and just love sure things.

 

Of course, the punchline is you'd never get the chance. With your attitude, not only would you not get past 2nd base, you wouldn't even get up to the plate.

 

Although married I'm the male half and single of the two in my lifestyle beliefs. But even with that I have to applaud and thank you She_n_Jaybee for your response to this arrogant fellow and his warped point of view. And this is because far as I can tell women and men in the lifestyle aren’t looking for sex outside the relationship because their home sex life is not up to par. They seek sex outside their relationship together to be adventurous. And in so doing they can add further, erotic, inspiration to their private sex life so it will remain always exciting and interesting. At least that’s why I would do it. So Bravo to you

[shadylazyinmesa 15]

So if males are just horny guys that want to get laid what does that make a single female that really isn't all that interested in being with a female? I attended an open party tonight and left within a half hour when it became clear that single females were not welcome by the married females if I didn't want to have anything to do with them. Its not that I want their man for anything more than sex either, but I am just not interested in the females. So I won't be attending anymore open parties like this.

[absingleman 178]

shady...

 

In many cases single straight women have as little to offer to many swing couples as single men. Its not that they are looked down upon, but swinging is about fantasy. Unless you find where you can fulfill your fantasies AND the fantasies of others, you are not going to have a good time.

 

Figure out what fantasy you are looking to fulfill in the lifestyle and look for people that are looking for the same thing. It will take you longer, but it will also be less frustrating because you will then know that people just don't like/want what you have to offer and you can find the ones that do with less effort.

 

I'm curious, though. I get what single bi females get out of swinging. What DO single straight females get that they can't get by contacting single men?

 

Inquiring minds have to know. You women are strange. LOL

[shadylazyinmesa 15]

shady...

 

In many cases single straight women have as little to offer to many swing couples as single men. Its not that they are looked down upon, but swinging is about fantasy. Unless you find where you can fulfill your fantasies AND the fantasies of others, you are not going to have a good time.

 

Figure out what fantasy you are looking to fulfill in the lifestyle and look for people that are looking for the same thing. It will take you longer, but it will also be less frustrating because you will then know that people just don't like/want what you have to offer and you can find the ones that do with less effort.

 

I'm curious, though. I get what single bi females get out of swinging. What DO single straight females get that they can't get by contacting single men?

 

Inquiring minds have to know. You women are strange. LOL

 

I don't need to fulfill some "fantasy" - and there really are not many ways for me to find single males - one or two - to have that type of freedom to get laid and go home - or move on to another or two. I prefer to live in real life with my sex life and never have been into any fantasy since if I can think about it then I have done it or can make it happen - I just don't happen to want to make it happen with another female. Different attitude I am finding here than in the clubs in Illinois and Missouri where I would go with a male friend as some company to not go by myself and he went off and did his thing while I did mine. Isn't having two men for a woman a "fantasy" of sorts? Or at least a different experience that alot of women wouldn't find as a single in a normal dating scenario.

[sexcupid 809]

absingleman,

 

i would assume that a straight single female can offer the same thing as a straight single male....it would be 2 women teaming up on one man. i imagine that he would be the focal point for the entire encounter, instead of having to sit back and watch the girls get it on for part of the time.

 

i would imagine that is what some men have in mind when adding another female to the mix, not just letting the wife get her jollies with some bi action and him not be the center of attention for the festivities.

 

i've been the 3rd in a situation like that...there was very little contact between me and the other girl and all of our attention was on him.

 

Maria

[shadylazyinmesa 15]

absingleman,

 

i would assume that a straight single female can offer the same thing as a straight single male....it would be 2 women teaming up on one man. i imagine that he would be the focal point for the entire encounter, instead of having to sit back and watch the girls get it on for part of the time.

 

i would imagine that is what some men have in mind when adding another female to the mix, not just letting the wife get her jollies with some bi action and him not be the center of attention for the festivities.

 

i've been the 3rd in a situation like that...there was very little contact between me and the other girl and all of our attention was on him.

 

Maria

 

For me at least I have been in the situation of another woman and I with one male and it always turned into, in spite of me being upfront of no contact with her, that they inevitably tried to make it so or the man did also. So I just gave up on anything to do with women and myself. Besides I can pretty much make a man feel like the center of MY attention and dont need the help in that area