Herpes 1 - Vaginally!

[twistedpretzels 100]

After some intense stress etc I broke out in blisters down yonder. My wonderful gyno did a scraping and declared hsv and sent the slides out for a full diagnosis. He put me on 500mg 2x day of Valtrex and I used Lanacane to calm the area. The diagnosis came back as HSV1. My bf did not have a cold sore on his mouth at this time. Never had one in fact, but was married to a woman who had HSV1 for years.

 

After this outbreak clears up what do I tell potential playmates that I had/have(?) HSV1? What does Pete say to his playmates? Do I stay on a lower level of Valtrex to help keep the boogieman away? Is this unusual in the swinging community? I am upset and feel like crappers

[angelkin 1,326]

I don't have any advice to offer...only my support. I wish things had turned out differently for you with your test. There are some physicians here on the board that will surely be able to answer your questions. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

[freakyweds69 15]

First of all let me commend you for having the strength to open up about this and seek advice. I know we're all a bunch of faceless names on this board for the most part (I know some people actually know each other in person). Still, this takes guts.

 

This is definitely something that you should not keep from potential playmates because it will never 100% be removed from your body and can reactivate later. The truth shall set you free!

 

I think it's better for the both of you to let the cat out of the bag right from the start to current and new partners. I'm sure you and Pete would've appreciated a heads up from whoever you picked this up from. Do unto others. It would not only be for your potential playmates' benefit but for your own as well so you can truly enjoy play time without a guilty conscience. You should approach it honestly and let whomever know the facts: that you are most contagious if you have any kind of intercourse during an outbreak & the chances of spreading it when you're not experiencing an outbreak is greatly reduced; by about 90% I believe. Also, let them know that you understand if they are no longer interested but if they still are that you are on a treatment for it and would not object to adhering to any precautionary measures deemed fit by the other person/couple for you to be able to play with them. I know everyone will appreciate your honesty and you'll be surprised how many people will still be interested regardless. One of my friends from high school has it and she still gets plenty of playtime in the vanilla world!

 

I hope someone with more experience in the medical field outside of WebMD can give you some better answers and I am truly sorry that this has happened to you.

 

*Hugs*

[EmptyNestCa 15]

I am curious do you use protection?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Usually this is contracted through oral sex. It is rare for swingers to use dental dams for oral.

[tribbles 490]

Tell people you are getting over a cold sore...it looks healed and watch them want to jump into the sack right there....and some will even tell you they have had cold sores too.

 

Tell them it's a cold sore in or near your vagina and watch many freak right out.

 

You will find the educated ones vs the not so well educated ones re: std's really quick that way. Play with the educated ones....ignore the rest. It's probably the safest way to play!

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Tell people you are getting over a cold sore...it looks healed and watch them want to jump into the sack right there....and some will even tell you they have had cold sores too.

 

Tell them it's a cold sore in or near your vagina and watch many freak right out.

 

You will find the educated ones vs the not so well educated ones re: std's really quick that way. Play with the educated ones....ignore the rest. It's probably the safest way to play!

 

That is one good thing about herpes 1. If someone has had cold sores they can't get it again from you.

 

Asking someone if they've ever had a cold sore might be a good way to open the discussion. If they have you are not a risk to them. If they haven't you can educate them about the risks.

[km34 672]

If someone has had cold sores they can't get it again from you.

 

While it is rare to get HSV1 on your genitals if you already have HSV1 in general, it is possible. People who have had HSV1 for only a few months may not have the necessary antibodies to prevent a genital outbreak. People with weak immune systems are also more susceptible. So, while normally I would agree that if you have cold sores you are in general safe from being infected down yonder as well, it isn't impossible.

[twistedpretzels 100]

Thank you all for your information and assistance. Still in all I am very upset. I have not played in months and months but my bf has had three women in the past 3 months that he did not use protection with (tested. he hates condoms). The following is a note that was sent privately to me that I thought I would share on this thread. It is a little altered to maintain the person's privacy.

 

I am very picky who I sleep with and it is just recently that potential doors have opened up. There are 4 men that I feel I could probably be interested in sleeping with at this point. However, I very much doubt now that any of the four will be interested after I tell them but I will let you all know.

 

"I did my PhD work in HSV. Here is some information you may find helpful:

 

A few items you need to know. HSV-1 and HSV-2 have never respected the belt line. There is significant crossover of one type to the other location. So all you can say is that you acquired it from someone who was shedding HSV-1. That's a large fraction of the population.

 

The virus remains dormant in the nerve ganglia, and recrudesces at times of stress. Your best approach here is likely chronic Valtrex use to minimize recurrences. On the other hand, you might want to see what it's like without Valtrex after this initial event, if only to gage whether taking the medication long term is worth it. If you have an outbreak every month (e.g. with menstrual cycles) it might make sense to time the Valtrex to address same. You get the idea.

 

Disclosing to partners is the right thing to do, and you'll be surprised to find how many folks are HSV positive.

 

As an aside, not everyone who gets exposed develops lesions."

[twistedpretzels 100]

That is one good thing about herpes 1. If someone has had cold sores they can't get it again from you.

 

Asking someone if they've ever had a cold sore might be a good way to open the discussion. If they have you are not a risk to them. If they haven't you can educate them about the risks.

 

This is a very good idea....thank you!

[twistedpretzels 100]

Here is the update:

I DID ask my potential dates if they ever had hsv1 and both had and I told them my story. They were fine with it - however, I am taking Valtrex.

 

The newest info from Pete is that he told his swing friend about my outbreak prior to us finding out it was hsv1. We had all gotten tested the same week and came up clean, but when he told her about my herpes (we didn't know if it was 1 or 2 at that point) that she said, 'oh wait. let me double check my results....' and low and behold she has hsv2!!! "Golly gosh"... she says...."the clinic said they called me but didn't get through and they put it in their records that they did call me."

 

BULLSHIT. I have gotten tested close to 100 times since 1973 at clinics, planned parenthood, hospitals and clinics. Even with only good news (sans recently) no medical business never DIDN'T get in touch with me. The thing is that this woman is a nurse to boot. Astounding, yes? My nurse friends said this woman just wanted more people in 'her club'. UGH. So Peter is going to get retested soon and we will see-- probably ok. He has stopped seeing her. It went toxic and a lot of other drama came up too (like her having Mersa 3 times....)

 

So I will keep you posted about the updated tests... I know some people think it is shallow to ask for paperwork and yes, it is only good for the few moments or days you get it back but out of respect for others and myself I try and be as careful as I can... even if i am over obsessive. lol

[Chicup 41]

Dodged a bullet there Twisted.

 

The good news about HSV-1 is that it rarely reoccurs. There is some evidence it does offer some protection from getting HSV-2 but I'd not really want to test that personally.

[twistedpretzels 100]

We don't know if WE dodged a bullet or not yet...lol... Pete has to be checked for sure. I essentially was checked from this outbreak thingie, but I am still creeped out over the whole thing. I am so surprised she lied about such a thing. She does not know I have hsv1 -Pete let her think it was hsv2 when 'all this new information came up' giving him an excuse to doeseedo away from her. She had been writing 'since we all have it now, we should all be able to be friends...' (this had some potential of being a poly thingie for Pete-- he wants to play bareback cuz he can't feel anything with a condom...).

 

I have heard that having hsv1 does offer some protection against hsv2. Also that I probably shouldn't have another outbreak and if I do it won't be as painful or long lasting (omg-- I was in pain!).

 

We think I got this from Pete whose ex wife used to get cold sores, and I think I 'did it to myself' because I had been extremely overstressed the past 3+ months and slept 3-4 hours a night etc etc. Thought I would have an episode of depression but rather I got hsv1 (doc agrees about the stress thing).

[tribbles 490]

I have low thyroid and take meds...got tested for my level and needed more and the lab test results in my chart said-in the docs handwriting- what the new rx should be....I didn't find out for 6 months cuz the docs office forgot to call and never called in the new script either.

 

I spotted it and asked them to give me the new rx.

 

I can understand thinking she lied but she may not have.

[twistedpretzels 100]

That's sweet, and I too have been overlooked for iron levels but specifically for STD testing I have NEVER been not contacted. She was a bit too complacent and glib about the whole thing and unconcerned about infecting two new people.

 

Pete's awesome and she wanted him in her club.

[lookingfora3rd 36]

First off I'm so sorry this happened to you but you can get past it very easily.

 

Secondly, and please understand that I am not judging your man but... if he is out playing unprotected then in our opinion he is not respecting you, himself, or his playmates.

 

This is SERIOUS stuff that we are playing with here and you very well dodged a bullet with just HSV1 and not HIV or something much more serious. Again I'm so sorry but remember that this is NOT a big deal and TONS of people have it and don't even know it. I got a few cold sores years ago but after a long talk with my doc I eased my mind, started taking better care of myself, and they have never come back. Stress is a killer, smoking and diet as well play a HUGE role in your resistance.

 

One thing you really should look into is Cimetidine or 'Tagamet', it's a heartburn drug sold OTC branded and generic everywhere. Glaxo Smith Kline lost the patent to it so it went generic OTC. Because the medical community doesn't stand to make huge profits on it they don't push it but in many studies it has been proven as or more effective than Valtrex or Acyclovir but at less than 1/8 of the cost PLUS you don't need a script or possibly embarrassing doctor visit. Google it and read up, it seems so unbelievable that the pharmaceutical companies would purposefully 'hide' a potential breakthrough because they don't stand to make huge profits on it. A real shame and very telling of the mindset and methodology of western medicine.

 

I know a few people that have this (my Dr. for instance) and with proper diet, 400 mg. of L-Lysine daily, and some form of Acyclovir at the first signs of an outbreak they remain symptom free for years.

 

Good luck to you and if i can help with anything at all please feel free to email anytime.

[celtic239 297]

This may seem like a dumb question but does the site of the outbreak indicate the point of infection (HSV1 on genitals from oral sex or Type 2 on mouth from oral sex)

[twistedpretzels 100]

No question is dumb Celtic.

 

I've been told hsv1 does not respect the belt line, and Pete eats me...A LOT.

 

Pete feels he gave it to me down yonder cuz of our activity. I am not totally sure.

 

As far as the hsv2 his x-friend he says she had it on her hand. Unusual I guess, but supposedly she didn't know she had hsv2 until she got back in touch with the free clinic and found out she had hsv2...and it was on her hand???? I don't know. I do not fully understand how she did not know and then figured out it was on her hand????

 

So i had hsv1 vaginally and she has hsv2 on her hand.

[tribbles 490]

On her hand? No wonder she had no clue....

Everything I've read says on the hand it's type 1 and it is suppose to hurt horribly. Like so bad she would not touch anyone with that hand...too ouchy. But what if...it didn't hurt? Didn't look like a herpes sore? Even at her docs they might have thought it was just an infected wound of some kind and told her to be careful and that they would swab it and let her know if she needed antibiotics.

 

I've taught STD info in colleges and never heard of type 2 on a hand.....but I do believe it could happen.

[twistedpretzels 100]

hi lookingfora3rd, Thank you for your comments. I appreciate them.

 

We know numerous couples that bareback after they have gotten to know each other. But that's just it, communication.

 

The woman who has hsv2 was to be more of a poly relationship than swing - that is why we all supposedly got tested at the same time. Pete was more interested in a regular friend he could fuck without a condom once or twice a month and she was agreeable to that (prior to it going toxic). So much for our well laid (haha) plans.

 

We are both feeling a bit gun shy at this point and want to take a breather. Pete says getting a blow job isn't as satisfying to him as fucking someone. I say sex (no matter the form) with someone else isn't as satisfying as having sex with him, so in my opinion we should just stick with soft swapping.

 

But there's still the hsv2 question there... tangled webs here.

[twistedpretzels 100]

hi tribbles,

i never met the woman or saw her blisters... hsv2 can happen wherever nerves end i am told...which includes the brain... the eyes... anywhere really i guess. that is what a nurse friend told me... i am not sure... feedback out there?

the women herself was a nurse ... she went back to check her results because 'no one called her' and then she got her results of hsv2 and she found out it was 'on her hand'????

[twistedpretzels 100]

And I'm sure having a hsv2 outbreak on her hand was painful, but an outbreak vaginally was horrific. I couldn't walk easily and cried and yelled each time I had to pee. The area throbbed and hurt for close to two weeks. Having blisters on my hand would have been a picnic

 

HSV's do not respect any belt lines I am told.

 

I have not heard that on the hand would/should be hsv1. I think they have to do scrapings of the blisters (which also hurts) and send them to a lab to find out for sure

[tribbles 490]

Yeah but the beltline info is new. For years....decades, the info was that it was type 1 above the waist and 2 below except for the very first outbreak could be type one on the genitals and two on the lips...but that they did not re-occur.

 

Keep in mind that means medical professionals you meet were probably taught and still only know what they were taught unless they are very up on the newer info.

 

I taught that straight out of the books and I know the newest edition of the book being used where I used to teach still has the belt line info.

[Chicup 41]

We don't know if WE dodged a bullet or not yet...lol...

 

Oh, I missed that he played with her. Well I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[HerpesMWC 55]

Rest assured, your first outbreak will be the worst. Take it from a couple who has had have for 15 years. Not sure why people are saying that you dodged a bullet! Symptomatically, Genital HSV1 is no different than HSV2. After the initial outbreak, further outbreaks will lessen in occurrence and severity. 20% of the white female population has it, 40% of the female black population. Most of them are asymptomatic, they have no idea they have it. Most pass it off as BV or a UTI. And its on the rise, some say doubling every decade. Also, any standard STD battery your doctor will request is VERY unlikely to include HSV in the list. Unless you have an immunodeficiency disorder, eventually, an outbreak will be far less issue than the common cold as far as how it affects you. It's so common and causes so few issues, research into has all but ceased since the initial overrated scare 30 years ago. Certain strains of HPV are likely to cause you more serious issues than HSV. That's why an HPV vaccination was researched and released. So, relax.

[shrevecouple 252]

I think maybe since you have had it so long that it's a "no big deal" subject to you HMWC. But not matter how common it is, for those who don't have it would prefer to stay that way. So I would be like them hoping I dodged a bullet.

 

When I read something like "the outbreaks aren't that bad", I shiver. Really? I think I'd prefer no outbreaks at all.

[HerpesMWC 55]

I think maybe since you have had it so long that it's a "no big deal" subject to you HMWC. But not matter how common it is, for those who don't have it would prefer to stay that way. So I would be like them hoping I dodged a bullet.

 

When I read something like "the outbreaks aren't that bad", I shiver. Really? I think I'd prefer no outbreaks at all.

 

My apologies. I confused the username of the OP and thought the bullet comment was directed towards them.

 

No one wants it! And no one is saying go out and get it. But there is also no need for her to be terrified over the matter. I guarantee that most people with herpes would rather have a simple outbreak, than a common cold. Most people have no concept of having herpes. So they naturally view it as a horrific affliction. It is not. The stigma surrounding it is far worse than the virus itself. My intent was to inform her and everyone else here. MANY members claiming DD free have contacted us wanting to swing. Only to find out that one, or both, of them has it. Swinger Beware! And yes, an outbreak for most isn't that bad. No more than someone could claim that a pimple is severe. I think the scare of the 80's and some pics on Google of immunodeficient people with herpes make it far worse than it is. Again, my apologies for my post.

[twistedpretzels 100]

When we all got tested we got a standard std profile (privateMDonline. great company) along with a test for the antibodies for HSV2. Pete and I were neg for H2. Nurse was positive. She had a rash on her hand that was not scraped. As a nurse, it is common and they have a high incidence of herpes whitlow (or something like that). She had it on her hands before and also lost a fingernail to it. Google for pics. My nurse friends all thought her not knowing was bull crap.

 

Peter got the test for the antibodies hsv2 again last week and he is negative. YAY.

 

Nursie girl has been put out to pasture.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

A statement like "those who don't have it..." is interesting in the light that most people who have it don't know they have it. HSV-1 is much more common than HSV-2, which affects about 20% of the adult population. HSV-1 affects closer to 60% of the population.

 

So unless you've been specifically tested for both 1 and 2, you don't know that you don't have it. And even if you have been tested, you only know till your next sexual encounter, then you don't know again.

 

The herpes scare has been overblown. Most people who have been infected will never know they were exposed to herpes and have antibodies; that is the real proof of how overblown the hype has been.

[Wondering2 20]

Research on the virus indicates it has been around for possibly as long as 60,000 years. It wasn't until the 70's that it was stigmatized. The power of the mighty drug companies is sickening. This is an excerpt cut from Wikipedia. Of course it that doesn't make it gospel, but it is food for thought.

 

Herpes simplex was not always stigmatized. It was merely a cold sore in an unusual place until the 1970s. As late as 1975, a study of "Psychological morbidity in a clinic for sexually transmitted disease” does not mention herpes simplex because at that time, no significant morbidity problem (i.e. mental anxiety or illness) was associated with the virus.

 

Pedro Cuatrecasas states, "during the R&D of acyclovir (Zovirax), marketing [department of Burroughs Wellcome] insisted that there were 'no markets’ for this compound. Most had hardly heard of genital herpes...” Thus, marketing the medical condition – separating the 'normal cold sore’ from the 'stigmatized genital infection’ was to become the key to marketing the drug, a process now known as 'disease mongering’.

 

Since the creation of the herpes hype, some people experience negative feelings related to the condition following diagnosis, in particular if they have acquired the genital form of the disease. Feelings can include depression, fear of rejection, feelings of isolation, fear of being found out, and self-destructive feelings.[95] These feelings usually lessen over time. Much of the hysteria and stigma surrounding herpes stems from a media campaign beginning in the late 1970s and peaking in the early 1980s. Multiple articles were worded in fear-mongering and anxiety-provoking terminology, such as the now-ubiquitous "attacks", "outbreaks", "victims", and "sufferers". At one point, the term "herpetic" even entered the popular lexicon. The articles were published by Reader's Digest, U.S. News, and Time magazine, among others. A made-for-TV movie was named Intimate Agony. The peak was when Time magazine had 'Herpes: The New Scarlet Letter' on the cover in August 1982, forever stigmatizing the word in the public mind.

[intuition897 2,179]

and I'm sure having a hsv2 outbreak on her hand was painful, but an outbreak vaginally was horrific. I couldn't walk easily and cried and yelled each time I had to pee. The area throbbed and hurt for close to two weeks. Having blisters on my hand would have been a picnic:lol:

 

TMI alert:

 

I've had two cold sores on my lip in my lifetime, so it's not exactly the same thing, but at age 17, I had chicken pox so bad I could hardly stand it. YEAH. Chicken pox blisters...in the vajayjay. No so much painful, but the ITCH was indescribable. For what it's worth, I feel for you.