Firearms at the club

[GnJ 15]

We frequent a club that is near our home. I'd say we are regulars there, and have alot of friends there. However there was an altercation on our last visit. While I have spoken with a few of the parties involved, I do not know all of the facts. What I do know is that the owner pulled out a gun and was waving it around.

 

My question is, do I want to continue patronizing a SWINGERS club where the owner is so quick to resort to a gun? Now don't get me wrong, I am a firearm enthusiast, and own (and carry) several guns. My concern is the ramifications that could have followed (for everyone there) if that gun had gone off. Can you imagine the headlines?

 

So would you find a new place to hang out or continue going to this club?

[StewartP 171]

I would be outta there!

 

I would make like an egg.... and beat it

I would make like a tree.... and leaf!

[GnJ 15]

We did, as soon as the gun came out, we grabbed our things and leafed. (lol) but would you go back?

[StewartP 171]

Are there other clubs in the region? If it's the only club that's a bummer. If there are others, I'd go elsewhere and discretely let your friends know.

If it's the only place in town I'd still lie low a while, sound out your friends, try and figure out the likelihood of a repeat performance.

It's the very definition of "drama" isn't it?

[GnJ 15]

It isn't the only club however, my work takes me away from home and I am not able to go out every week. This is the only local club that is open every week. So they are always open when I am at home.

And yes, this is the very definition of drama.

[StewartP 171]

One of the primary purposes of a club is to provide an environment where everyone feels safe enough to let themselves be free.

If that sense of security has been compromised by the very person who should be providing it, it would be a deal breaker for me.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

Was that a "gun" he was waving?

 

"This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for fighting, the other for fun."

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We live in an area of the country where almost everyone is a gun owner.

Seriously, I have a hard time coming up with more than a couple of people that do not own a gun. Most own several guns. It is in the DNA around here.

 

That being said, the understanding in these parts is you don't pull out a gun unless you plan on using it. The love of firearms around here is matched with a high level of respect for them, and it's taught at a young age. "Waving a gun" is unacceptable behavior, no matter the location.

 

We would not return to the club as long as it remained under the same ownership.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Was that a "gun" he was waving?

 

"This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for fighting, the other for fun."

 

Drill Sargent, Yes, Drill Sargent!! Hoooah!

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

We live in an area of the country where almost everyone is a gun owner.

Seriously, I have a hard time coming up with more than a couple of people that do not own a gun. Most own several guns. It is in the DNA around here.

 

That being said, the understanding in these parts is you don't pull out a gun unless you plan on using it. The love of firearms around here is matched with a high level of respect for them, and it's taught at a young age. "Waving a gun" is unacceptable behavior, no matter the location.

 

We would not return to the club as long as it remained under the same ownership.

 

Sounds like you live near us.

 

A weapon is not a toy, it should never be pulled unless it is a last resort and you plan to use it.

 

"Waving a gun around" is open to interpretation, so unless I knew the owner well, understood the situation very well and was satisfied that there was no other option and s/he acted appropriately, I would find a new place to hang, for at least awhile. If things go back to normal after a few months then I might consider returning.

 

There is no sense in taking unneeded risk with your safety or take a chance on the club being busted and everyone rounded up because the locals want to make an example out of the club.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I wanted to clear one thing up. You said "waving a gun around," did you see this or were you told this?

 

When I was much younger, before i married, I had the police called on me for "waving a gun around."

 

I had a neighbor that had been robbed and was interested in a getting a pistol, I gave her some advice and let her look at one of mine (after clearing and checking it). Another neighbor saw her looking at it and had a fit, she was very anti-gun. So I put my pistol away in its nylon carry case.

 

I few weeks later I took my neighbor, who had purchased a small pistol, to the shooting range. Upon returning I took my shooting box and three pistols, all in nylon carry cases like the one she had seen before, and carried them into the apartment.

 

Five minutes later the police were knocking on my door because they had a report I was "waving a gun around." I had left my shooing box and pistols on the kitchen table (I lived alone no kids at the time). I told the police my story, they checked out my pistols to make sure they were not loaded and safe and they double checked it with the neighbor I took shooting. They gave me a short lecture because it was their "duty," and left.

 

So when I hear someone said guns were being waved around I always wonder what that means.

[StewartP 171]

Indeed, since I live in France where the only guns people own are for hunting (shotguns and rifles) our gun-culture is not the same, and any advice I give is coloured by that.

 

You are better advised by the people who live in your world. I am by no means anti gun, and have a shotgun myself, but here only a criminal or a cop could produce a handgun, and my perceptions of a clubowner producing a gun are tainted by that.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Indeed, since I live in France where the only guns people own are for hunting (shotguns and rifles) our gun-culture is not the same, and any advice I give is coloured by that.

 

You are better advised by the people who live in your world. I am by no means anti gun, and have a shotgun myself, but here only a criminal or a cop could produce a handgun, and my perceptions of a clubowner producing a gun are tainted by that.

 

I hope you do not think I was implying anything negative toward you at all. I certainly did not mean to do so if it came across that way and I apologize.

 

I am just familiar with how stories can change as they are relayed, particularly when it comes to hot button topics, and handguns certainly fall into that category.

[StewartP 171]

I hope you do not think I was implying anything negative toward you at all.

 

No, no not at all, please don't worry. I genuinely feel that the culture of the place and time is very relevant here.

[lotsoffun201 175]

You did the right thing by leaving.....Don't patronize that place again.

[GnJ 15]

I wanted to clear one thing up. You said "waving a gun around," did you see this or were you told this?

 

When I was much younger, before i married, I had the police called on me for "waving a gun around."

 

I had a neighbor that had been robbed and was interested in a getting a pistol, I gave her some advice and let her look at one of mine (after clearing and checking it). Another neighbor saw her looking at it and had a fit, she was very anti-gun. So I put my pistol away in its nylon carry case.

 

I few weeks later I took my neighbor, who had purchased a small pistol, to the shooting range. Upon returning I took my shooting box and three pistols, all in nylon carry cases like the one she had seen before, and carried them into the apartment.

 

Five minutes later the police were knocking on my door because they had a report I was "waving a gun around." I had left my shooing box and pistols on the kitchen table (I lived alone no kids at the time). I told the police my story, they checked out my pistols to make sure they were not loaded and safe and they double checked it with the neighbor I took shooting. They gave me a short lecture because it was their "duty," and left.

 

So when I hear someone said guns were being waved around I always wonder what that means.

 

Yes,i said, "waving a gun". I saw him holding the gun. Pointing it in the direction of the problem, and at the ceiling. Then I heard him charge the weapon. Yes, I am prior service military, as is the wife. We know what a gun looks and sounds like. We also know how to recognize a threat.

As for as my opinion on guns, as I've stated, I own several and support the second amendment. My concern is his decision, as club management, to take it to that level when no one had any other weapons.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Yes,i said, "waving a gun". I saw him holding the gun. Pointing it in the direction of the problem, and at the ceiling. Then I heard him charge the weapon. Yes, I am prior service military, as is the wife. We know what a gun looks and sounds like. We also know how to recognize a threat.

As for as my opinion on guns, as I've stated, I own several and support the second amendment. My concern is his decision, as club management, to take it to that level when no one had any other weapons.

 

It was not my intent to challenge your knowledge of firearms or threat recognition, I was simply asking for clarification based on my experience. As you stated you did not have all the facts and it was not clear from your OP that you saw the actual "gun waving."

 

Given what you have said I would avoid the place, at least for a reasonable time, if not permanently. There is not place for that behavior anywhere let alone in a crowded establishment.

[bbarnsworth 2,636]

With absolutely no disrespect to you GnJ, is this really a question that needs asking? It's kinda like "I just took a stroll across that busy interstate, and nearly got killed several times. Should I go back?"

 

As usual, the gun isn't the problem. It's the person behind it. If this sort of thing happened with the manager of a grocery store you frequent, would you go back? How about a hair salon? Manager of the bank you frequent? That it's a swinger club doesn't change this equation in the slightest. It's a blatant, obvious, NO WAY IN HELL.

 

I agree with other posters above; you don't pull a gun unless you intend to use it. It's not a toy used to win an argument or calm a dispute. It ends things in one of two ways; either the problem leaves in a hurry, or the problem is dead. Deadly force isn't authorized to clam disputes. Anyone cavalier enough to pull a gun and wave it around like that is NOT someone I would spend any more time around, period, end of discussion.

 

Swinging is recreation. It's not life or death.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We are also regulars at a club and like it a lot. However, if we witnessed this we would not return.

 

It's a really dangerous situation when someone feels pulling a gun is a way to control a situation like a fight. What if the gun went off and killed someone, what if the people fighting were also carrying guns?

 

Besides the small issue of getting killed by a stray bullet, I wouldn't want to be at a swingers club when the police arrive. If word gets around the police will get involved. Depending on the club's relationship with the community they may be setting themselves up for a police raid.

[celtic239 297]

My advice would be to find another club regardless of the time and distance. The owner put everyone's life, liberty and anonymity as risk if the gun had discharged and hit someone.

[tribbles 490]

I'd want to know more of why. As it was mentioned, it's a part of the world where many have guns and guns are pretty accepted items to have around.

 

I'd also check out other clubs when I could but I might be willing to go back if I understood what happened more.

 

Can you talk to the owner/host?

[T-Rex 148]

I agree with tribbles. It may be worth talking to the owner. He may be as bothered by his actions as you (we) are. How he reacts to you may help you to understand him and may help you to make your decision regarding continuing to patronize the club. However, if you don't feel that you want to talk to him, and you certainly have no obligation to talk to him, then it's time to find a new club.

[Palladin 36]

I grew up in Michigan with guns and hunting and Hemingway's Nick Adams short stories. I am not a second amendment nutjob, but this guy waving a pistol at your club is a perfect example of their mantra, "guns don't kill people; people kill people." GTF outta there and don't go back!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My question is, do I want to continue patronizing a SWINGERS club where the owner is so quick to resort to a gun?

 

 

Um HELL NO! (but maybe that's just me). There are non-swinger clubs locally we won't go to because we know people are quick to draw. I certainly wouldn't want to be caught in a swinger club when the law is called, and I'd even less want to be within sight of the person holding the gun.

 

 

So would you find a new place to hang out or continue going to this club?

 

Again HELL NO!

[GnJ 15]

Ok, I has some more details about what went down.

There was a group (couple and a guy) that were wanting to play. They were looking for a room to play in. All of the doors to the rooms were closed so, (this is where the couple screwed up) the lady stood on a barstool and looked over the top of the wall, into the room. Her story was that they didn't know if anyone was in the room. she got down and went to the bathroom. And didn't think anything of what she did.

At this point another customer, not working at the club, got in the husband's face tell ing him that they can't be doing that. The husband tried to explain that they didn't know that they had broken any rules. Then another customer, who claims to be a bouncer at the club, got involved and grabbed the husband from behind, in a choke hold. When the wife came out of the bathroom she was sucker punched by the wife of the "bouncer". This was about the time that the owner came out with his gun.

About a week later, the couple that was attacked got an email from the owners, saying that they would be allowed to go back to the club.

It is my opinion that the couple did break a rule by looking into a room when the door was closed. However, this should have been handled by the management and not by other customers. (the "bouncer" is just another customer that likes to think he's important) they management should have either warned or ejected the couple. But that is as far as it needed to go.

As for us, we have decided to visit other clubs. We are not saying that we won't go back to the other club but we do tend to stay with what we like and if we find a club where we feel at home, we will probably continue going there.

[junglecouple 127]

One of my pet peeves is "doors".

At our place, there are/were NO DOORS. Only curtains.

I don't like the thought of "behind closed doors.

During the first visit, guests were given a complete tour and given the guidelines/rules.

"Closed doors" raise the hair on the back of my neck.. We had a "group room" where the rule was, "C'mon in". Anyone in here is here to play, so "YES" is the fairly assumed attitude. (but you can be turned down)

The private cubicles had curtains, NOT doors. The rule was if the curtain is drawn, it's occupied.. you can peek in just to see if it's vacant but that's all.

 

The voyeur / exhibitionist are was surrounded by bar stools and mirrors... the rule was "enjoy the view, but NO touching, or interfering in any way or YOU'RE OUT.

The person/persons on the exhibitionist platform could invite anyone they wanted. I would jokingly tell couples.."so that's the rules here, and Mr "xyz", I recommend you DO NOT PISS OFF YOUR LADY BEFORE THE PARTY because that rule applies to everyone, even you.. So if your lady is on the platform, alone, or with someone, even YOU have to be invited..LOL.

[celtic239 297]

Let me get this right, a man and his wife get the shit kicked out of them by members of the club's management for what appears to be a misunderstanding of the "no peeking" rule and somewhere in the mix the owner of the club pulls a weapon and the club sends them an email saying that the couple will be allowed to return to the club!! WTF!! The club owners are lucky these people didn't call the cops and have them hauled off to county jail. This couple would have to be out of their fucking minds if they went back to that place again.

[rainbowskye 102]

I am from Texas . we come out of the womb knowing how to shoot . I've been around guns all my life. i own 4 and go to the range on a regular basis.

 

I have actually seen several employees of my company at the range. It is against company policy to have a firearm on premisis . one of the guys i saw was salty over not getting a promotion and told the powers that be that i had one at work. They launched an investigation.

 

As a teen my sister and her friends were in two different cars using a super soaker to blast each other...someone called 911 and reported gun fire between the two vehicles . they left out water guns!

 

Combined i learned two lessons . don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.

 

If you saw the gun then no i wouldn't go back. If you didn't , i might. I would give it some time though .

[rainbowskye 102]

I didn't i see page two when i replied . In this case seeing and hearing it, no i wouldn't return. A gun with a trigger happen person behind it does not belong in any environment , especially a club!

 

It should only be used in case of emergency. If there was a problem at the club, he should have bounces there.