Are male swingers typically larger/well endowed?

[Wallswing 15]

I have many insecurities about my penis. From what I've read I'm not small (6.50-6.75Lx.4.75-5g) but every man we meet is larger than me. Everyone is thicker and most are the same length or longer. We are new to this but over 15 couples we've contacted or met all have husbands who are larger. I think I could handle it if I was sometimes bigger or sometimes the same but I am always smaller. So are men in this lifestyle generally larger or am I really just small and all those studies are wrong?

[StewartP 171]

My experience has been the opposite: I'm the same as you, perhaps a bit smaller. I was self conscious about my size but swinging has shown me that there are all sorts out there. Many guys smaller than me.

Fiona says that what has suprised her is not that there are many big guys but that all the cocks she has experienced are all so different. Different combinations of length, girth hardness, angles, shapes.

[Wallswing 15]

That's wierd. So just bad luck if you will then? I'm not exaggerating, every guy who sends pics or the 2 we met and 1 we cammed with was bigger. It's not helping my already present insecurities. My wife says I am by far harder than every man she's had but I think that's because of her small sample size. Certain men don't have harder erections than others normally do they?

[campgirl2in1 74]

I am 6". Allegedly this is average. In reality it is not. My wife has been with only one guy that is smaller. She claims it is not an issue but I know she likes to be filled with cock, after all I am not blind or deaf.

 

I am a bit insecure over it I guess. Mostly because I am a larger than average guy, 6'2" 230 lbs. If I were 5'9" 175 it would appear much bigger. Thankfully she has small hands.

 

I don't lose sleep over it as I have little interest in anyone other than my wife and she is happy with the sex life we have. I would rather watch her or be involved with her in a MFM that deal with yet a fourth personality.

 

We can't change it so don't sweat it. I do love watching and hearing her take a big one, just wish it were mine sometimes.

[campgirl2in1 74]

That's wierd. So just bad luck if you will then? I'm not exaggerating, every guy who sends pics or the 2 we met and 1 we cammed with was bigger. It's not helping my already present insecurities. My wife says I am by far harder than every man she's had but I think that's because of her small sample size. Certain men don't have harder erections than others normally do they?

 

My wife says that generally the larger the cock the softer it is at full erection. She claims that mine is the hardest she has experienced.

[Wallswing 15]

I am 6". Allegedly this is average. In reality it is not. My wife has been with only one guy that is smaller. She claims it is not an issue but I know she likes to be filled with cock, after all I am not blind or deaf.

 

I am a bit insecure over it I guess. Mostly because I am a larger than average guy, 6'2" 230 lbs. If I were 5'9" 175 it would appear much bigger. Thankfully she has small hands.

 

I don't lose sleep over it as I have little interest in anyone other than my wife and she is happy with the sex life we have. I would rather watch her or be involved with her in a MFM that deal with yet a fourth personality.

 

We can't change it so don't sweat it. I do love watching and hearing her take a big one, just wish it were mine sometimes.

 

Exactly how I feel. I know how she acts when she has a big one and it is different than with me. Sometimes I just wish she would admit it and not try to spare my feelings. I did get her to fess up to preferring my cock to be thicker. So you don't think the 5-6 average is for real huh? Interesting.

 

How do the men in hear deal with a couple where the man is obvioulsy thicker and maybe longer. Do you feel that whoever is with you is losing and whoever gets the other man is winning? I can't shake this feeling right now. A feeling that everyone brings something to playtime but me. Stupid I know but it's how I'm feeling.

 

My wife says that generally the larger the cock the softer it is at full erection. She claims that mine is the hardest she has experienced.

 

Are we married to the same woman? Word for word what mine says. I believe her but it's not easy.

[angelkin 1,326]

Exactly how I feel. I know how she acts when she has a big one and it is different than with me. Sometimes I just wish she would admit it and not try to spare my feelings. I did get her to fess up to preferring my cock to be thicker. So you don't think the 5-6 average is for real huh? Interesting.

 

All of this is my personal opinion and situational observations, I can only speak for myself...Gentlemen, I for one have not found that men in the lifestyle are vastly bigger than 6-7 inches (about the norm) - which statistically is larger than the average penis size (reference link to Andropenis website removed by request of website owner).

 

Perhaps it's not the penis size that makes her enjoy the encounter so much. For me, it's the excitement of a different partner...in addition, I tend to be more vocal when I am with someone unfamiliar to me, it helps give the feedback needed for great sex without giving direction.

 

Give me a man with an "average" cock who knows how to use it any day over a man with an amazingly large cock and an equally big ego to go with it. Furthermore, men with larger members seem to not be as hard and/or not always able to get or maintain an erection at all. They are all different and enjoying the difference is part of the fun in swinging. Just like people and personalities, I can usually find *something* I like about a cock - the curve, the mushroom head, even a smaller one with a skilled user can be fantastic! I could go on and on, but I think you might have the idea that I love cock - in all its glorious forms.

 

Would you say there's one pussy better than another? Or perhaps, like me, you can see the beauty in each one...

 

Consider me ~ just an "average" woman.

[Wallswing 15]

That actually helps me Angel. Thx. This theme of bigger men not being as hard is fascinating.

 

The problem I'm having the most trouble with is girth. I'm under 5 inches around and it seems every guy is thicker and all you hear from women is that length doesn't matter much but girth does. Is a woman let down if they play with a partner who is noticeably thinner than what she's used to?

[angelkin 1,326]

That actually helps me Angel. Thx. This theme of bigger men not being as hard is fascinating.

 

The problem I'm having the most trouble with is girth. I'm under 5 inches around and it seems every guy is thicker and all you hear from women is that length doesn't matter much but girth does. Is a woman let down if they play with a partner who is noticeably thinner than what she's used to?

 

I am NEVER disappointed with an eager and skilled partner, no matter what tools he brings to the engagement.

 

If you truly want to be a good lover - with your wife and others - do everything with gusto. Kiss passionately, tease with every touch, eat pussy like there's no tomorrow, pound her like you are packing the big salami, and show her you are absolutely concerned that she is pleased and satisfied in every way.

 

Actually, I tend to shy away from men with cocks bigger than my husband's. They can hurt when fully hard...and I am not into pain. Also consider, a man with an "average" cock (you sound bigger) can be great for DP action

[Wallswing 15]

I am NEVER disappointed with an eager and skilled partner, no matter what tools he brings to the engagement.

 

If you truly want to be a good lover - with your wife and others - do everything with gusto. Kiss passionately, tease with every touch, eat pussy like there's no tomorrow, pound her like you are packing the big salami, and show her you are absolutely concerned that she is pleased and satisfied in every way.

 

Actually, I tend to shy away from men with cocks bigger than my husband's. They can hurt when fully hard...and I am not into pain. Also consider, a man with an "average" cock (you sound bigger) can be great for DP action

 

I do all that with my wife but just need to get over the penis insecurity to do it with others. Our first times was MFM, couldn't get hard. Second was a couple, couldn't get hard. Third was a Skype session and couldn't even get hard for that. Depressing. I tell myself just do the things I do on my wife to her but my mind starts thinking if she will be disappointed and many other things. Frustrating!

[Baconheads 426]

Mine is an even six. Never had any complaints. Not the biggest in the club, but big enough to touch bottom.

 

You bring lots to the table, dude! You may not have the biggest weiner, but you could be the best lover!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

So are men in this lifestyle generally larger or am I really just small and all those studies are wrong?

 

No, you're not small, and your experience does not match ours.

Your size is not going to be a problem for you.

[Wallswing 15]

Mine is an even six. Never had any complaints. Not the biggest in the club, but big enough to touch bottom.

 

You bring lots to the table, dude! You may not have the biggest weiner, but you could be the best lover!

 

Funny. I say I have enough to hurt her and gag her. If she wanted that of course. I was actually doing good with my size until every single guy we contacted was larger. Like I said, probably just bad luck. I felt and still feel actually like I will always be the small male of the two. It's not a requirement that I be larger and I actually like the thought of my wife being with a larger man but I would like to feel average normal too. With time I guess.

[tribbles 490]

I've enjoyed a bit bigger and a lot smaller....I also can't take the bigger ones without pain. I've seen all sizes at parties.

 

One: figure out with each woman what spot inside you can rub with your penis and she will like...you can stroke the gspot with your penis if you aim carefully!

 

Two: since so few females cum just from penetration, use those fingers on her clit...or position her so she can and let her know it's a turn on for you!

 

For the few who only want/need a larger cock, no, you won't do but so what? You will get the ladies who don't want the bigger cock....and we are out here.

[Wallswing 15]

I've enjoyed a bit bigger and a lot smaller....I also can't take the bigger ones without pain. I've seen all sizes at parties.

 

One: figure out with each woman what spot inside you can rub with your penis and she will like...you can stroke the gspot with your penis if you aim carefully!

 

Two: since so few females cum just from penetration, use those fingers on her clit...or position her so she can and let her know it's a turn on for you!

 

For the few who only want/need a larger cock, no, you won't do but so what? You will get the ladies who don't want the bigger cock....and we are out here.

 

I'm prepared for being with many women who don't cum through penetration. It will be strange for me because my wife is extremely lucky in that department. Lucky like 5+ in a 20 minute period. Another thing that amplifies my anxiety is that I met my wife in high school and have never been with another woman. Knowing this you probably can understand why I have so many things running through my mind. I really want it and I love my wife to death. We'll get there. Thanks for everything.

[Goingood 48]

Wellswing, the reason you seem to think you are small is because you seldom find guys with smaller than average (5 to 7 inches) interested in letting everybody know they are stuck with the small one.

I'm sure there are exceptions, but most smaller guys prefer to be the one to supply their wife's orgasms, simply because they suspect just as you do that their wives might better enjoy the bigger ones.

[Wallswing 15]

So you feel that the average is a bit higher in the swinging community?

[LFM2 1,482]

Why so insecure with an above average length and girth? I'm not getting it.

 

You should do just fine with what you've got. I've had bigger, smaller, and some in between. It's all good. Shouldn't be a problem for you.

[Wallswing 15]

Why so insecure with an above average length and girth? I'm not getting it.

 

You should do just fine with what you've got. I've had bigger, smaller, and some in between. It's all good. Shouldn't be a problem for you.

 

My girth is not above average to be clear. It's on the thin side. Why so insecure? Good question. Probably because I watch porn, listen to the size my wife's past lovers, never had a woman besides my wife give me input, only gotten replies from larger men in our early career, and a host of other early development issues.

[LFM2 1,482]

So, you're believing that all male swingers (in general) have a bigger penis than you?

 

I'm with angelkin... I have never been disappointed with an partner who was confident and eager to please.

 

I am NEVER disappointed with an eager and skilled partner, no matter what tools he brings to the engagement.

[Wallswing 15]

So, you're believing that all male swingers (in general) have a bigger penis than you?

 

Yeah, for the most part.

[tribbles 490]

Are there clubs near you that you can go to with your wife and NOT play with anyone but get to watch others?

 

After a bit, you will find all sizes....

[Wallswing 15]

Are there clubs near you that you can go to with your wife and NOT play with anyone but get to watch others?

 

After a bit, you will find all sizes....

 

Yeah there are. Good idea. The single guy we had our first experience with (where I failed to get hard) contacted us today. My plan is see the doc for some blue pills just for the extra confidence boost and give it another shot. He seems like a nice respectable guy too. This sounds funny but if we have a drink and get to know him better I think it will help me.

 

EDIT: I forgot to mention. I have never taken viagra before. Do you get hard even when you're not thinking about sex or is it triggered by desire?

[Just Passing By 140]

Answer #1 - there are a wide variety of sizes out there.

 

Answer #2 - You well within the average to upper side of average.

 

Answer #3 - what do horses for sale , and guy's personal ads have in common ? A lot of them all are claimed by their owners to be an inch and half more than they are in real life. ( I thought it was me until I started bring a horse tape to measure every horse myself ) . At one point were looking for guy substantially larger for her variety for her , and never came accross one substantially larger in real life.

 

Answer #4 - much like Anglekin said unless there is extreme mismatch between dimentions of the male and female parts , it is generally minor to non issue.

[Wallswing 15]

I'm slowly coming to grips with my size. Thank you for all the replies. From now on I'm only concentrating on being the best lover I can and if my penis prohibits that with certain women then so be it.

[Dancing2Some 57]

For me it's all about the total experience and not just penetration. If a partner gives good oral, I've usually reached an orgasm or three before it ever goes further.

[PTTimeDC 120]

Ms. PTTimeDC agrees that the bigger ones are "squishier" than the normal (6") ones. I'm as average as it gets, except for the size of my cumshots, and have no problems with size. I don't care what a guy is packing as long as the Ms is happy with me and what the other guys do to her.

[Wallswing 15]

Ms. PTTimeDC agrees that the bigger ones are "squishier" than the normal (6") ones. I'm as average as it gets, except for the size of my cumshots, and have no problems with size. I don't care what a guy is packing as long as the Ms is happy with me and what the other guys do to her.

 

I can't believe there is some truth to larger guys not being as rock hard. When I get hard there is no bending it and I can't push it down to face the floor. I guess I owe my wife an apology for doubting her. Squishier....hmm

[Crosswords 92]

I agree with those who say larger guys can be painful. In addition, it's much easier to give a good blow job to or have anal sex with an average or smaller guy. As a result, I personally prefer average or smaller cocks. Much more versatile.

 

Mrs. C

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

An erection is caused by blood flowing into and accumulating in the penis. Everyone has about the same amount of blood which is needed to supply the whole body. Therefore, it is easier for the body to divert blood to fill a smaller penis than a larger one. You should just take your wife's word for it though, lol.

[Wallswing 15]

An erection is caused by blood flowing into and accumulating in the penis. Everyone has about the same amount of blood which is needed to supply the whole body. Therefore, it is easier for the body to divert blood to fill a smaller penis than a larger one. You should just take your wife's word for it though, lol.

 

lol. I already apologized for doubting her. I never put two and two together but when I give blood it takes hardly any time at all to complete. I will come in after tons of people and leave before. Maybe this has something to do with the hardness factor that she says is unique. I've never heard of differences between mens erections or even thought about it until we started this journey. I guess it makes sense though.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I might have missed this response but my wife isn't in the lifestyle for the sex.

 

She is in it for the stimulation. The excitement she feels when a guy is attracted to her and the attention he gives her. It's everything that leads up to the sex that is the best part for her.

 

Once we are in bed, yes, like everyone else she wants to get off but the best part was everything you did to get her there and everything past that is a bonus.

 

Also, she is one of the ones that only O's through oral so penetration is more about using her body to show you a good time and make it the best time for you. It's less about how your cock makes her feel.

 

That made sense in my mind when I was typing it, lol...hope it came out right.

[swing.kidz 367]

I can empathize with your feelings of insecurity, we all have traits that we feel are short comings. However, in the cases of my physical traits that I'm insecure over, as I've gotten older, I have begun to rationalize my insecurities by asking myself 'what can I really do about it?' 'Why do I feel this why?' Etc.

 

When I'm truthful with myself, it's my answers to those questions that give me the most peace...answers like: there's NOTHING I can do about my physical 'short comings'. So, what's the point of worrying about them? I know I've been conditioned by mainstream media to hate myself, but we have to see thru those lies to achieve happiness...

 

You can never have a bigger cock...sorry about that. But who cares? Your confidence should be in the pride you have for yourself, just because you are who you are. Find the things about you that are good because YOU made them good. And the short comings you can change...do something to change them.

 

For example: I'm going bald..and short of surgery or taking a pill or some cream that screws with my hormones, I will be totally bald one day. Sucks, and I went thru a little grieving period, but I ultimately determined I didn't want to worry about something like that, and now I just shave my head clean, proudly. With that, I looked at my fitness level, determined that was a physical short coming I can control, bought a bunch of weights, and for the last two years I've been committed to changing my body...and with a lot of education, I have changed dramatically. So, redirecting my focus has given me a new sense of pride, one that I built and ultimately control the outcome of.

 

I encourage to do the same thing, don't worry about shit you can't change...it kills your confidence, affects your relationships, and never gets better, because YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT!

 

Good luck, don't worry, and have some fun with your hot little wifey.

[Wallswing 15]

Great reply kids. I'm getting better by the day. Found another single guy she likes today and he is 8x6! Jees. This streak of finding guys larger than me has to be close to 20 now. I'm embracing guys with big ones now. I know she can take a lot because of the toys we have and I know she will enjoy it. Just for her to be stretched out by a fat one has to feel better than mine and I'm anxious to see all the pleasure she gets. All the noises and faces she makes that I haven't seen. I told her to please tell me if she finds that she prefers a big cock to an average one and we can try and find her some. I just want her to be totally pleased.

[sexcupid 809]

Wallswing...can you tell me where you live because the vast majority of the guys we've met here have below average size. You are what I would like to call "lucky"

 

 

Seriously though, while there are some things we can change about ourselves...weight, hair color, eye color (to an extent with colored contacts)...some things just can't be and no matter how much you wish your cock was thicker, what are you willing to do to change it? Surgery could be an option, but realistically I would think the complications from that would far outweigh any benefit.

 

Also, look around the forum...having erection issues during swing activities is not uncommon. It will get better with time. Perhaps the pre-occupation with the size of the other guy and the resulting feelings of inferiority are becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

I mean I frequently feel like I have brought the best toy to the playground (my hubby), but my discontent with some playmates has little to do with the size of their dicks (even though my 'preference' is at least 6x6 and up) and more with their inability to see beyond their dick and realize that there are plenty of other parts of them that are still working (mouth, tongue, fingers).

[Wallswing 15]

I live in Reno, Nevada.

 

Um, no....I an not considering surgery and never will. Like I stated earlier, my self confidence down stairs is getting better by the day. I'm in really good shape with muscles and low body fat. This forum has really helped me a lot and has helped me focus on my positives. Another good thing my wife brought up about being average size is I can pump as hard and deep as I can. I love to give it rough and hard and would be disappointed if I was too large to thrust wildly.

[Swing*8701 887]

Worrying is simply a prayer for the worst to happen. And if you argue for your limitations, they will be yours. Just show up and have amazingly good sex. --Susan

[Nonymouse 15]

Hi, all. Great discussion from some great people. We don't post often, but are frequent lurkers. My two cents: best way to increase penis size (or at least perception of size). is to lose weight. I am a little over 7"' and like most guys in his late forties, gradually packed on a fair bit of weight. Beginning about three and a half years ago, I started eating better, and eventually added cardio and weight training six days a week. I'm now in better shape than I was when I was in college, and lost 9" off my waist size which is now 31". All told, I have lost 68 pounds.

 

Getting back to perception. Though my penis certainly has not grown, it certainly appears larger due to the loss of belly fat. I have read that the penis will appear to gain an inch of length for each 30-35 pounds of weight one sheds. Certainly seems to have been true in my case.

 

Thanks to all who participate on this great forum!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I've seen the full range of sizes, but I'd say that in general I've seen more smaller penises in swinging than I have larger ones. I will say that some guys do a very good job even with a relatively small penis.