sandy_paws 15 Posted January 11, 2012 We are brand new. Mr. Paws and I have just created a profile on Swing Lifestyle. How secure is the site? Mr. is concerned about putting pics of us up - we are worried about his job and we have to tread lightly... but we want to meet people, make some new friends & he's NOT the club type. Any thoughts? Advice? Thank you in advance! Quote Share this post Link to post
SW_PA_Couple 4,026 Posted January 11, 2012 If you are a paid member or a lifetime member at S L S, you can put up private pictures and only the people you choose can see them - very secure. If there is any concern for professional associates seeing, you should not put up public pictures. Any old clown can get a "free" subscription and see them. Quote Share this post Link to post
sandy_paws 15 Posted January 11, 2012 Thank you for the information. I'll discuss getting a paid membership with the Mr. and go from there. Quote Share this post Link to post
celtic239 297 Posted January 11, 2012 Might I suggest that you "white out" all facial aspects of the photo and just use non-sexual photos. Quote Share this post Link to post
ViSexual 1,008 Posted January 11, 2012 And, don't forget specific jewelry or backgrounds. Someone who might be wondering..., could confirm with either. Quote Share this post Link to post
dodgechevy 149 Posted January 11, 2012 We have a rule to never share our private pics with uncertified couples. If they are uncertified we ask to do a phone verification with the ladies. You'll find out quickly how many profiles go silent when asked to do that. Quote Share this post Link to post
PTTimeDC 120 Posted January 11, 2012 We are brand new. Mr. Paws and I have just created a profile on Swing Lifestyle. How secure is the site? We have been free members on there for years and years and never have had a problem, even though we currently live in a small city. You have to be smart about your public profile and as long as you're perceived as REAL, the experienced swingers won't mind. Quote Share this post Link to post
DigginIt 1,132 Posted January 12, 2012 Swing Lifestyle is very safe but no site is perfect. We were very concerned at the start about our privacy and it took us a year to eventually feel comfortable with putting our actual zip code on our profile. We used to use towns that were 45 minutes away because she works very high in management with people who are very uptight. If your wife has very distinguishable hair then crop the photo vs. whiting out that area. Watch for things that are a dead give away such as tattoos. Free members can not see private pictures or pictures in emails so no worries there. Just keep the public ones clean. We only share our private gallery with people who are certified. Even those that say, we don't play the certification game it takes a lot for us to open photos because most local event organizers will certify you as, "hey, they came to our social. great couple." and that's all you need. Sorry PT...we disagree about free couples (unless certified). We don't ever reach out to free couples. If they reach out to us, we will be like, meet us at the next social. That's the extent of any conversations we have with free members. Just use common sense when speaking with people. People will say, can you send us your pictures to our YIM account. We are like fuck no. We do get a lot of requests like that. Quote Share this post Link to post
Dancing2Some 57 Posted January 12, 2012 We've found that meeting couples via the internet alone is more difficult than it needs to be. Since our chosen means of meeting others these days is face to face through a local club, or various lifestyle events, pics are slightly less important to us. Not to say that we'd ever "plan" to meet others at the club without seeing something first, we wouldn't. It's hard enough to connect with others that are on the same level personality wise, so let's just get be sure there's a physical interest before we look for more. We can't imagine having to go back to the blind internet dating stage at this point, but can really relate to those who must do that because of a lack of lifestyle venues nearby. When we lived in a small town back east, we played the blind date scene, and it grew to be frustrating in having to deal with so many flakes, fakes and wannabees. In our opinion to try and do that without any pictures in your profile would just further stack the odds against you in finding any suitable playmates. Like others have said, you have total control over what you choose to show as public on sls. For instance, we've personally elected to blur our faces in our public album, and have arranged our pic order so the first 5 shots are private. This keeps free members from viewing them, or used to anyway, as when they open a profile they can only see the first five pics. We've nothing against free members, and happily open our pics if they e-mail us, but it helps keep the lookiloos, who set up a free membership just to see if they recognize anyone they know. It's helped tremendously to weed out the BS e-mails and chat invites too. Additionally, we only open our private pics to those we already know or actually have planned to meet. Quote Share this post Link to post
sandy_paws 15 Posted January 13, 2012 Thank you all for the great advice! I appreciate it! Quote Share this post Link to post
PTTimeDC 120 Posted January 13, 2012 Sorry PT...we disagree about free couples (unless certified). We don't ever reach out to free couples. If they reach out to us, we will be like, meet us at the next social. That's the extent of any conversations we have with free members. Thank God we don't live near you or we would get our feelings hurt LOL, I think, considering where you're from, that's a legitimate approach. Here in Alabama it's not worth the expense. Too many people are not what we're looking for....Montgomery is the fatest city in the country and Alabama is the fatest state in the country. So, something like your "meet us at the social" line doesn't work because we're not spending $100 for a social full of people we're not attracted to. Now, if we can ever get to the Emerald Coast socials that's another story I just think you have to take it with a grain of salt. There are a lot of good/legit free members & easy ways to weed them out. You have to deal quick and heavy with them (usually in one template email we use) & you, as the free member, have to be willing to risk a little bit of privacy to establish yourself online. We have plenty of certs on SLS so that helps us be perceived as real in that community with guys and most couples, but some couples still aren't sure. Those are the folks you have to take the extra step of allowing them to call, etc. To each his/her own; we would just caution about ignoring free members because they're free. TRUST ME; there are MANY paid members on SLS (especially couples) who are nothing more than the male sneaking a credit card payment past his wife so he can troll the internet for ways to be unfaithful. Payment does not equal 'legitimate'. Quote Share this post Link to post
DigginIt 1,132 Posted January 13, 2012 Thank God we don't live near you or we would get our feelings hurt You fit under the exception...you're certified No need for tears! I think we get about 5 new people a week around here that mysteriously never seem to pay, add photos, etc. They are just signing up, like you said, to 'troll' the site. The ones that do add a picture only add a single picture of a girl. Things that make you go...Hmmmmmm I agree about the paid people can be fake as well which goes back to the "we only share our pictures with certified people" comment. Even the ones who are paid and uncertified we look at cross eyed..."See you at the Social" The main thing is free people can't see your pictures and we won't send off site. Here is something funny. We had one free couple all hot to trot to meet us and I'm thinking 'dude, we could be majorly ugly' so either you will fuck anything with a pulse or you'll fuck anything with a pulse. No thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post
slevin 1,374 Posted January 13, 2012 We have a rule to never share our private pics with uncertified couples. If they are uncertified we ask to do a phone verification with the ladies. You'll find out quickly how many profiles go silent when asked to do that. Just for an alternative viewpoint; we have no certifications despite swinging for years now. If someone asked to talk to either of us on the phone before we could even see a picture, we'd move on. I dont want to waste my time giving out my phone number and talking on the phone (or waste my wifes time) if we're going to see pictures and be uninterested afterwards. We'd just move on. Quote Share this post Link to post
DigginIt 1,132 Posted January 13, 2012 Sandy_paws - I posted this somewhere else. Get a Google Voice account. It's absolutely free. You can give the GV Number out to people you are not sure you want to have your phone number yet. On the control panel for Google Voice you just set all calls to forward to your cell phone. They never get your real #. When you see the Google Voice forwards their phone number and caller id information so it's 'set and forget' If you need to call them, there is a Google Voice app you can download and dial from the Google App on your phone and the number shows up as your assigned Google Voice number and not your cell phone. It's awesome!! Quote Share this post Link to post
two4youinswva 3,068 Posted January 14, 2012 Just for an alternative viewpoint; we have no certifications despite swinging for years now. We know quite a few that choose to go this route. I can understand why. sandy_paws, I think if you follow the advice given by the previous posters on how to go about posting the pictures, you'll be fine. Quote Share this post Link to post
sandy_paws 15 Posted January 14, 2012 Thank you everyone. This is great advice. Mr. and I have decided that we can put one G rated picture up as a profile pic, and since we can't really get involved for a few more months, it's all just chatting with others via email and no meet and greets .. (plus people would have to actively search the site for our profile) so he's not as concerned anymore. Quote Share this post Link to post
dodgechevy 149 Posted January 14, 2012 Just for an alternative viewpoint; we have no certifications despite swinging for years now. If someone asked to talk to either of us on the phone before we could even see a picture, we'd move on. I dont want to waste my time giving out my phone number and talking on the phone (or waste my wifes time) if we're going to see pictures and be uninterested afterwards. We'd just move on. We have lots of pics in our public gallery. The private ones are more "risqué". We also never talk until we can see face pics ourselves. It's always awkward to say no thanks after you've already started chatting. Never quite understood why someone wouldn't want at least 1 cert as proof of being a real couple. Quote Share this post Link to post
Dont.Stop 339 Posted January 22, 2012 We keep G rated pics up. We only open our gallery up to people we've met. We're wary of unicorns with free profiles. We've recently met a couple that has a free membership, and we've had a blast with them. We've brought them into our circle, they've met some of our other friends... but when I came across their profile I just had a "feeling" they were legit, and I was right. At least this time. As for certs, I totally understand why some people don't want any, or many. By the same token, we've had people contact us because they saw a cert that we gave to a mutual friend. We've given 5, received 5 (then one couple deleted the one they gave us, and the one they left for us). The certs don't necessarily mean we've gotten freaky with the couple. And there are plenty more that we have met and are close to but haven't left a cert for. It was a big deal for us months ago... now it's "yeah, whatever". We have enough to be genuine while not leaving a breadcrumb trail. After a while, it's almost like everyone knows everyone anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post