An eye opening anniversary weekend

[shrevecouple 252]

Our anniversary was this past weekend and thankfully my sister agreed to watch the kids for the weekend. We ended up going to a house party with some good friends of ours. The party was fun and entertaining. The crowd was older and half were naked when we arrived at about 8pm. These were all seasoned swingers and we had fun laughing and conversating. We leave around midnight I think and get back to our friends house where we were staying for the weekend.

 

They ask us if we want to play and we all proceed into their bedroom. Now they know we have never swapped before so I knew when they asked everything was at our speed. So we start out with our own partners on the same bed. I was on my back close enough to them so that I could feel their bodies while they had sex. We stayed like this long enough that our friends actually finiished. The lady of the other couple puts her robe on and walks out for a drink or something. It was at this tiime my husband asks the other guy if he was up for another round. Other male says yes and the husband tells me to suck his cock. I am thinking yay...MFM because that's what I am into and besides just being on the same bed with another couple that's all we have experienced before (and that was only once). So I proceed to give male friend a BJ and my husband starts licking me. "yay" Well next thing I know...hubby is not on the bed. Where is he? Well I look over and he is standing at the end of the bed receiving a BJ from the female friend. (First time for me seeing this and his first time being touched by another woman in 11 years). So in my mind I am like.."ok..that's not too bad". Well not too long after that I am still giving head and she gets on her back beside me and my husband is proceeding to put a condom on and enters her. I am kind of shocked at this point but I allow it. I really have no desire for swapping. It does nothing for me to pair off but I kind of let him take the lead and I decided to let him take it as far as he apparently wanted it to go. I know it wasn't real fair to our guy friend because I wasn't really into it all that much but I went through the motions. He was pep talking me and trying to make it a good experience. They knew this was a first for us. It was very weird seeing my husband like that. I did have a small sense of loss but I wasn't devestated. I was just really shocked he took it that far. My husband's condom ends up breaking and they decided to halt their activities. She had already came a few times and was satisfied. My husband took advantage of this and asked me if I wanted to try DP (something I have always wanted to try). So we did. Funny thing...he kept missing and I ended up experiencing DVP and DP with anal. LOL It wasn't as sexually fulfilling as I thought it was going to be but it was pleasurable. I ended up finishing both of them off and we were done. We say goodnight and head to our own bed for the night.

 

When we get back to our bed I am just trying to process what's just happened. To my surprise my husband starts feeling me up gearing up for another round. This is unusual for him. He rarely goes for a round 2 so quickly. He whispers in my ear "She wasn't you" and we end up in the bathroom having sex. The next day we spent with the other couple but he and I don't really get a chance to talk about what happened until the drive home.

 

I explained to him that I let him take the lead but I was surprised that he took it that far. The parts I enjoyed were only the parts where he was directly involved with me. I didn't care for pairing off but it appeared he wanted it so I allowed it. I told him that really the only thing I like is MFM and sex with him on the same bed with another couple where I can watch them and and touch them while they have sex. 1v1 with another man does nothing for me. It does not excite me but that if he wanted that to be able to experience other women then I may could do it but that it was weird and did not turn me on to see him like that.

 

I was very surprised by his response. He said that as soon as he entered her initiating the full swap it felt wrong. He said receiving the BJ was kind of alright. He seemed to enjoy the attention but it had already started feeling weird but he was pep talking himself because he wanted to see what it was like. He says that the sex kind of became mechanical for him and that he was actually relieved when the condom broke and he could return to me. (LOL..so was I because that's exactly how it was for me) He said that he was having a hard time with it because it did't feel right "she wasn't you". He is actually having feelings of remorse. He says even though I was right there he feels like he's cheated on me and that that feeling is aweful. He says that seeing me with another man does not affect him at all. He knows that I will always come back to him but that him being with another woman feels wrong. I told him that he may be like me. He may need that constant attention from the one he loves. He may like FMF because then he still would have that emotional connection but with added stimulation of another person. He said he wasn't sure about that but he was sure that he did not want to do a full swap and maybe not soft swap ever again. I am ok with that. I love being beside another couple. It's the live porn affect for me. He agreed with that.

 

So we have 10 years of marriage down and we are still learning from each other. I think I am just thankful that I didn't lose my mind like I feared seeing him with another women. It's wasn't hot but not the end of the world.

[angelkin 1,326]

Sounds like your first experience was successful overall. You may have some things to work out, but your recounting of the event leads me to believe most of that is already happening. Good for you!

 

With each swinging encounter, you learn...about each other, yourself, your feelings as a couple, your desires, your dislikes. Over time the process becomes more and more refined and I am guessing that never stops.

 

Your approach sounds much like us - we want the other partner involved and close. Threesomes seem to allow for that more so than being with another couple. Eventually, in our experience, the idea of full swap comes up and someone is left disappointed. My husband says the same thing "she's not you" and I admit that I never have better sex than with my husband.

 

It says a lot about your relationship that neither of you really got jealous and that you're talking it out. My only advice would be to make sure this is all talked out and things are back to a "normal" place in your relationship before you swing again - in any manner. Perhaps then you can then determine if you wish to meet with couples and that the ground rules will not be broken.

 

Best of luck to you:)

[bbarnsworth 2,663]

So we have 10 years of marriage down and we are still learning from each other.

 

Excellent! It's when you STOP learning from each other that I'd maybe be a bit concerned.

 

I think I am just thankful that I didn't lose my mind like I feared seeing him with another women. It's wasn't hot but not the end of the world.

 

My concern here was that things went a great deal further than either of you have previously agreed to. Usually this generates drama. It didn't so much in this case, but before the next time you play it'd be a good idea to talk things out and make sure you both fully understand where the other is comfortable.

[shrevecouple 252]

Your right Angel we do have to make sure things are right and that we know and respect our own boundaries. Even though this wasn't a completely pleasurable experience we at least chose cool people to expiriment with who were very understanding. The flipside is we would have never known if one of us hadn't ever pushed the boundaries to see for sure.

 

Bbarn our main drama at this point is my reassuring my husband that what he did was not cheating and that I or he could have stopped it at any moment. It was definitely a learning experience. It may be strange to some that we are perfectly fine with MFM situations but not full swapping with a couple but it is how we are at this moment. I am going to let him decide if he wants to try adding women at some point within a FMF type situation.

[ViSexual 1,009]

You mentioned that the couple you were staying with were cool and considerate. Have you thought of talking to them and seeing if they'd be interested in joining the two of you, one at a time?

[shrevecouple 252]

You mentioned that the couple you were staying with were cool and considerate. Have you thought of talking to them and seeing if they'd be interested in joining the two of you, one at a time?

 

It's possible we might could get a MFM out of them because she is in it more just to watch him with other women. She actually prefers not to play with the men.

[joeysgirl 15]

How common is this? So we are just starting off our adventure into this. I think the "live porn" as you put it turns me on just enough to not jump all the way in head first. I mean how easy is it to find couples who dont want to swap. But start off slow where we could have sex w/ our own partners in the same room?

[dodgechevy 149]

How common is this? So we are just starting off our adventure into this. I think the "live porn" as you put it turns me on just enough to not jump all the way in head first. I mean how easy is it to find couples who dont want to swap. But start off slow where we could have sex w/ our own partners in the same room?

 

Personally, we don't really know as we've always at least done soft swap. However, we've seen it every so often at clubs though. Best bet would be to set up a profile at a site, and spell out exactly what you're looking for.

[shrevecouple 252]

How common is this? So we are just starting off our adventure into this. I think the "live porn" as you put it turns me on just enough to not jump all the way in head first. I mean how easy is it to find couples who dont want to swap. But start off slow where we could have sex w/ our own partners in the same room?

 

Not that common JG. The easier thing to do than find a couple to do is go to an on site club and just have sex with each other in an open room. People aren't suppose to engage you without permission. Usually if there are curtains you don't have the problem of folks trying to join in but you can still see other people in the room.

 

Most of the people we run across are hardcore (that's my definition). It's like your back in high school with all the peer pressure. It may not all be verbal but it's there.