how to approach friends your not sure swing with a proposition.

[Mcbird00 15]

I know you've probably seen this one before. If so point me there. If not please help us out.

 

Here is the scenario. My wife has developed a serious crush on a male friend of ours, and would like to swing with him. His wife is hot and I'm completely in to her as well and would jump at the oppourtnity. The trouble is we don't know if they swing or would be into swinging. We see this couple regularly at parties, the baseball field and are kids play together. I know their relationship started with her having an affair with him on her ex-husband. Ultimately we value their friendship above all else and would want to do nothing that would jepordize their relationship together or ours with them.

 

How should we approach the proposition of a swap with themor should we?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Ultimately we value their friendship above all else and would want to do nothing that would jepordize their relationship together or ours with them.

 

Since you've stated this as something that is important to you, then we would advise against approaching them on the subject. It could turn out OK, but it could also turn into a nightmare for everyone involved.

 

We follow the rule that you make friends out of swingers, and not swingers out of friends. It has worked pretty well for us.

[Mcbird00 15]

We follow the rule that you make friends out of swingers, and not swingers out of friends.

 

Love this quote. Thanks for the advice. I would like to add that in the past lots of flirting does go on between both parties mostly him and my wife

[naughty_kitten 56]

I would like to add that in the past lots of flirting does go on between both parties mostly him and my wife

 

Doesn't mean anything. Vanilla couples flirt all the time.

[shrevecouple 252]

Doesn't mean anything. Vanilla couples flirt all the time.

 

Amen! You don't have to be a swinger to be aware of your sexuality.

[LFM2 1,482]

I am totally with Two4youinswva on this one. We would never approach a vanilla couple that we crush. First of all, they may weird out on us because now they know we love to sleep with our neighbors and then they wouldn't be our friends anymore. Awkward. Second, they may jump at the chance and then their relationship may go south and blame you two for dragging them into it. Awkward.

 

However, on that note, you could always just hang around together one night, and ask them how they feel about swingers in general without giving yourself away. Who knows??

[djjwp 129]

We have met couples that were vanilla and after having them over for dinner or cards found that things were not so vanilla. Get into an environment away from kids and others and just listen, you might hear what you want if they are willing but let them lead. (PS Having a hot tub to retire too has never hurt!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Since you've stated this as something that is important to you, then we would advise against approaching them on the subject. It could turn out OK, but it could also turn into a nightmare for everyone involved.

 

We follow the rule that you make friends out of swingers, and not swingers out of friends. It has worked pretty well for us.

 

Ditto

[Alura 2,774]

How should we approach the proposition of a swap with themor should we?

 

It seems to me you have asked two questions here. As to the "should we?" part, other members have outlined the pitfalls of swinging with friends. While we never had any real problems, many have. Ultimately, y'all will have to make this decision on your own.

 

Now, for the "How..." part. Communication is the key to success with swingers as much as it is within marriages. Learn to talk to them about any and all subjects. Ask your questions so that you learn, rather than convince. Don't ask questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no." Always phrase questions so they have to think about the answer and must answer in paragraphs, rather than words. Our favorite was, "How do y'all feel about ..."

[lizandtom 512]

IF and only if they are the type that you feel comfortable keeping your secret, if discretion is important, simply let them know that you're into the lifestyle, and let them ask the questions and do the rest, if they pursue it at all.

 

You'll be amazed at how quickly you get the draw dropping reaction from them if you proposition them and they're not on the same page; it will all be different and you might be the 'creepy something-must-be-wrong-with-the-relationship' couple that everyone talks about.

[Tina and Bob 236]

Maybe you should just start out by asking if they'd be interested in going to dinner together and possibly a nightclub for music and dancing afterwards. I would take it slow but if you guys all hit it off popping the question like have you ever thought of going to a clothing optional resort? Have you ever fantasized about being with another women? Or even like yeah we've heard about this venue and it's suppose to be a little risque but we're thinking of checking it out, would you two be interested? Or a couples only get away, massages, hot mineral springs bath, those type of things. Obviously if they say or make excuses about not be able to go to dinner etc, then you'll have your answer.Good luck.

[Alura 2,774]

If y'all think it might be fun to "seduce" them, here's one of Laura's little "plots" which was a lot of fun and worked like a charm:

 

There was a couple we "hung out" with. We liked them a lot and agreed that they'd be great playmates. Laura became close friends with the lady. I'd known the guy for over ten years, before they were married. After nights of playing Euchre, partnered women-against-men, using the "touch, look in the eyes, and talk" technique, we learned that they were very sexual. Both, like us, had had ...shall we say... "a bit of experience" in fucking other people before they met. They'd been married eight years.

 

"What do y'all miss the most of being single?" Laura eventually asked.

 

"Dancing!" "Cooking only for myself!" "Cruising the bars!"

 

Laura took her turn: "Fucking a guy for the first time."

 

"Oh, yeah!" agreed Mrs. Playmate, without batting an eyelash, "... on the first date!"

 

The conversation went from the card table, to the wine rack, to the spa, to a flokati rug in front of the fireplace.

 

Unfortunately, we never played again. Mrs. Playmate, an Army officer, shipped out to Desert Storm. She and Mr. Playmate didn't stay together. "Irreconcilable differences." (He squeezed the toothpaste tube in the middle.) I'm still friends with him and his new lady. He has talked to her about Swinging and she is aware of our history, but she's not interested in the lifestyle. There has been no pressure from Mr. Playmate.

[xxxfunseekers 19]

As DJJWP stated - having a hot tub wouldn't hurt. We were the vanilla couple when our friends invited us out to dinner and afterwards back to their place. My friend suggested that we all get into the hot tub (naked). My wife totally surprised me when she said yes. Once in the hot tub the conversation conveniently turned to sex. The following week things went a little further in the hot tub.