Need Advice: Turning Swinging Fantasy into Reality

[JOK3R 15]

I have always been interested in swinging, specifically where there are multiple men and one woman. Let me say that I'm not bi, not that that there is anything wrong with that, but the thought of a bunch of guys pounding a girl from all angles is a real turn on.

 

I have a very beautiful girlfriend that I have been seeing for some time now. She's 5', curvy but not fat, brunette, 36D chest. We are both in our mid to late 20s and plan on getting married. We have an extremely healthy relationship and both are into lots of different things in the bedroom. She's the first girl who I've dated that LOVES sucking cock and actually asks for anal. She gets off on playing the submissive role in the bedroom which is great because I'm more dominant. We also watch porn together (which was her idea). I'm very lucky.

 

I don't think she's 100% opposed to swinging/gangbangs, but it still might be a tough sell. Factually I know she's fantasized about group sex. There has been several times when we've been fucking and she says that she would love to have another dick in her mouth.

 

The subject came up about our wildest fantasies, and she said that several times she fantasized about having a dick in her "pussy, ass, mouth, and one for each hand." I know for some guys that's a turn off but I admit it's a total turn on for me. We were friends for almost 10 years before we dated and know eachothers sexual history and I know shes done some pretty kinky shit, but never threesomes or group sex.

 

I think her desire to do this goes beyond just a fantasy, but isn't quite something that she would jump into willy nilly.

 

My question is, how do I approach her about seriously doing this? Let me say that I don't want to coerce her and would NEVER make someone do something that they didn't want to do. I think she's open to the idea but right now is too nervous about it. How would I open her up to this idea and put her mind at ease?

 

I would love to see her on her knees sucking off me and a bunch of other guys and think she would really get off on it.

 

Any advice is welcome. Thanks!

[ViSexual 1,008]

Well it sounds like you two have already discussed it, if only during play. Bring it up after play sometime. Just tell her that it's something you'd consider and ask if she would. If she doesn't say no then tell her you've found this website already and see if she'd like to join you here to explore further. It's really that simple!

[lotsoffun201 175]

I think discussing this with her is the best idea. I would make two suggestions. FIRST you should discuss this with her when you are NOT in bed. Do it over coffee or dinner etc. Often times "bedroom talk" is just to get your motor running, so this should be done when the motor is turned off. SECOND, assuming she is interested then you can tell her about the sites you may have found including this one.

 

If its something she is really not interested in, then don't force the issue

 

Good Luck

[LFM2 1,482]

I think discussing this with her is the best idea. I would make two suggestions. FIRST you should discuss this with her when you are NOT in bed. Do it over coffee or dinner etc. Often times "bedroom talk" is just to get your motor running, so this should be done when the motor is turned off. SECOND, assuming she is interested then you can tell her about the sites you may have found including this one.

 

If its something she is really not interested in, then don't force the issue

 

Good Luck

 

Exactly what I would have suggested. Still, when the talking is over, please remember that fantasy can often be better than reality. You can control your actions, but you can't control the actions of the others you may invite into the bedroom. Talk everything over in detail. Keep things simple. Enjoy. If your GF backs out, leave it alone.

[JOK3R 15]

My main fear is if I'm reading the signs really wrong and she'll really be pissed that I suggested bringing other people into the bedroom for real. I think at some times she would be really receptive to the idea and other times she wouldn't.

 

As far as controlling what other people do in the bedroom, we pretty much have a "anything goes" attitude about stuff in the bedroom as it is. We are not into watersports, scat, etc but the stuff that she lets me do to her, in fact WANTS me to do to her would make the devil blush.

 

I had a MMF threesome with my ex and a friend at one point where she both gave us head and we book ended her and I didn't get jealous. It was a real turn on in fact. The relationship ended up tanking years later for unrelated reasons but I don't think jealousy would be an issue with this girlfriend either. As far as what other guys do, I believe that she would be receptive to aggressiveness from other guys like she is from me. She likes it rough and I'm sure that if we ended up going through with it she would want to be "passed around and used like a little whore", which she frequently brings up as a fantasy.

[Alura 2,775]

 

She likes it rough and I'm sure that if we ended up going through with it she would want to be "passed around and used like a little whore", which she frequently brings up as a fantasy.

 

Here's where I'd suggest starting the discussion. Ask her to explain in detail how she envisions this fantasy. Once she's comfortable with this talk, you can ask "How do you feel about swinging?" without actually suggesting y'all do it.

 

Alura

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Have you talked about this OUTSIDE the bedroom? That's where the discussion needs to happen in order to make sure that what she's sharing in the bedroom is the same as what she'd like to have happen in the light of day.

 

I think what was meant in the earlier comment about not being able to control the actions of others is to keep safety in mind. While you may have an "everything goes" attitude between the two of you do really want that attitude when it's the two of you and 3 or 5 other guys? No matter what happens "NO" always means NO at any time and she should always be in control of the situation. You should be there to protect her as much as to be involved in whatever scenario plays out.

 

Not only is there a safety aspect when it comes to not being able to "control" what happens but things can go the other direction. Few guys have actually been in a situation where they have to share a woman with several other guys and they may not be up to waiting their turn... for that matter they may not be "up" to anything once they get naked in a room full of other guys.

 

Do some searches on here for other threads on the topic of gangbangs, you'll find other posts from me on the subject sharing my personal experiences, and you should be able to glean some advice for how to make things work - once you get to that point. For now, to get started. Sit her down on the couch and tell her that you'd love to make all her fantasies come true. Tell her that you realize that what is said in the bedroom is sometimes the heat of the moment but that if she'd ever like to actually have that multiple guy situation play out you are ready and willing to make it happen.

[armi555 15]

I think a few have given the most important advice, talk about it outside the bedroom.

[Alex855 16]

How about you bring it up right after a hot sex session (where the topic came up) . As you two are cuddling just bring it up to test the waters. Then on another day bring it up again during coffee or something. The goal is to transition the topic outside the bedroom.

[Crush 15]

I've had ex's like this and find them to be all bark, no bite. She figures that she's taking care of u very well sexually and that u shouldn't want to rely on other people for something she does best.. So she kind of gets insulted that u might want more.

[Dont.Stop 339]

I like the approach of talking about fantasies. Bring up one of your own... maybe not necessarily involving other people at first. Then ask her about one of hers. If she doesn't mention group sex, then maybe your second or third fantasy could work its way in, using what she's expressed in bed as a crutch ("Every time I think about what you said about having one here and there and in each hand... it gets me pretty hot"). After she responds to it, just say "What do you think about making that happen for real?" Eventually suggest starting with just MFM to test the waters and see where it gets you.

 

This might be a lot of ground to cover in one conversation... you'll get a feel for her attitude before too long. Let her give it some time to process, just like you've had. You may just find out that she's been trying to plant a seed in your mind, and it just germinated.