How did you begin your open relationship?
By
grabbyzz, in Swinging Solo
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Similar Content
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By Interestme82
Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well.
We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again.
Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax.
Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures.
Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard.
I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it.
I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes?
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By Santokos
First of all I would like to apologise for my English , as it’s not my first language. I’m a married guy and I just told my wife that my fantasy is to have sex with her and to be watched. So my question is what is better as a first timer , to go with my wife to a swingers club or to just meet another couple and have same room sex. What do you guys suggest? I’m not into wife swap. I just love to be watched
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By Billygoat
I have always had an interest in the human definition, just who are we? What drives us? Who actually defines us? I know I was never asked....or given the questionnaire.
As always it is those not living how others are or maintain power or try to be that desperately try to define all of us into a box.
I’ve always been curious, always asking why because the bottles, jars and boxes we all get shoved into never hold true.
My take away? Humans are:
Curious
Adventurous
Emotional
Highly social
Desire acceptance
Absolute need for contact, touch
Emotional connection, attachment
Happiness....
....collectively we want to be happy. We want at the end of our efforts, happiness.
So with that in mind why the imposed monogamy question? Maybe a better question is why the varying definitions to adapt to the wide variety of cultures, beliefs countries when in fact we were not made to be mono anything since the beginning of time without being taught, threatened and social outcasts for not taking part in the norm.
Mate sharing, spouse sharing and combined expanded family arrangements have been around since before history. The last 2,000 years monogamy, authority of the one, singular, grew but always had the old ways nipping at its heals.
In my readings I recently came across an interesting article, below:
Why Monogamy Isn't
The death of compulsory monogamy and viewing monogamy as only a social good
Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CASA, CSE
The Polyamorists Next Door
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201508/why-monogamy-isnt
As most everyone in this group lives or wants to live a less than monogamous lifestyle you might find it an interesting read.
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By couplers
Forget the long-ass article in the NY Times, the America's Finest News Source again sums up nicely a complex topic:
https://www.theonion.com/pros-and-cons-of-open-relationships-1823614676
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By PeterJ
This looks interesting, though I’m not sure this NY Times review of “ThereIs No ‘I’ In Threesome” will persuademe to add HBO Maxto my existing HBO subscription. (Of course Kathy and I love New Zealand, so the adventures of this Kiwi couple could persuade me to upgrade our subscription...☺️ )
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/11/movies/there-is-no-i-in-threesome-review.html?surface=most-popular&fellback=false&req_id=466556926&algo=bandit-all-surfaces&variant=1_bandit-all-surfaces_daysback_4&imp_id=829023391&action=click&module=Most Popular&pgtype=Homepage
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